Hermione Granger watched over the sleeping forms of Wendell and Monica Wilkins with tears streaming down her cheeks. This felt like the ultimate form of betrayal. Tomorrow they would finish packing their bags, and fly to Australia in the afternoon, with no knowledge of magic, no knowledge of Harry, and no knowledge of … her. It had to be done. It had to … but knowing that didn't help.

Hermione sighed and wiped away the tears on her cheeks, only to find they were flowing from her eyes quicker than she could wipe them away. Her fist gripped her compact mirror. In the next half an hour she would receive a message from Severus, telling her when to Disapparate from here, and Apparate straight into Dumbledore's office. Well… Severus' office now.

Severus.

She remembered his guilt, his sorrow, his kisses, the way he'd touched her…

Their time at Grimmauld Place had been … magic.

Hermione let out a laugh that quickly turned into a choked sob.

He'd given so much to her, it made her chest glow and ache and long for him. She remembered the rabbit-in-headlights look he'd given her as she'd taken off her top, frozen beneath her, flushed and scared and hopeful. She remembered the way he'd looked at her … as if she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She remembered his apprehension of touching her, the almost childlike joy in his eyes when she'd told him he could do so anywhere, and she remembered the hesitant way his hands had brushed over her skin, burning her, finding erogenous zones she'd had no idea she'd possessed.

She remembered the way he'd frozen underneath her when she'd touched his button, the fear in his eyes as he'd lain there paralysed, how he'd steeled himself as he'd stood before her and pulled off his pyjama top… The horror she'd felt as she'd looked at him still cut through her like a knife. Not because of the way he looked, but because of why he looked like that; he'd suffered so much. More than even she had thought. There were scars everywhere. Burn marks, knife marks, curse marks, marks that had no clear cause at all, and something that look suspiciously like a "B" carved into his back. But what was clearer in her mind was the defeat when he stood, exposed like that before her, the resignation, the expectation that she would reject him. It tore at her heart.

The brittle, but desperate hope in his eyes when she told him it didn't change how she felt about him was something she knew she would never forget. And the amount of feeling she'd had for him as he looked at her then, it had made her feel physically weak. She'd thought that now he had revealed this to her, he would allow her to touch him, but his terrified flinch as she'd reached out to him had told her otherwise. As she'd held him in her arms, feeling the ragged edges of his pain against her, the way he'd slowly melted into her, his arms coming round to clutch at her back…

What had happened after that, the kisses, the gentle caresses, her own desperation for him, the feel of his dick inside her, the look of awed pleasure on his face… Her orgasm from that had been by far the best one she'd ever experienced. Severus may have been a little out of his depth at times but he'd certainly known what he was doing when he'd thrust into her. Somehow she'd known what he needed when she'd realised he hadn't yet come; he'd given so much to her, relinquished so much control to her, and for someone as meticulous as him, he'd needed a little of it back to find his release. Hermione loved being flipped onto her back, and he'd done so very well, she'd gotten into the right position and he'd pinned her hands to the bed above her. Perfect. Watching his face, watching him pant, watching sweat glisten on his chest, seeing his eyes flickering closed, the lines on his face deepen, and his orgasm finally rip through him, then having the weight of his body pressed against every inch of her…

Hermione knew she loved him. Very much.

And soon she would be going back to him.

But her parents, her poor, poor parents… They would be so angry with her if they knew what she'd done to them.

The warmth flaring in her hand pulled her to the present.

'When you're ready.'

She wiped her eyes, took once last look at her parents and walked down the stairs, picking up her beaded bag and an angry Crookshanks in his basket, she closed the door behind her with a finite click.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, focused her mind on her destination and disappeared from her childhood home.

The Headmasters office was exactly as she remembered it.

"Severus."

There he was, stood stiffly behind the desk. She made to run at him, almost painfully pleased to see him, then remembered where she was.

Her eyes fell on the portrait. It was almost frighteningly lifelike; tall, commanding, elaborate robes, bearded face and twinkling eyes.

"Miss Granger!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together, looking delighted.

Anger ripped through her, and she looked away.

"You must think very badly of me, my dear girl."

"No." She forced herself to answer. Then she remembered Severus' crumpled figure sobbing on the floor of Grimmauld Place. "HOW, HOW COULD YOU ASK HIM TO DO THAT?!"

Oh dear.

"Miss Granger," her head snapped back up to the late Headmaster, "believe me when I say there was no better way."

His face was saddened, the twinkle in his eye gone, and … she believed him.

Hermione looked away from the portrait, but nodded her head in some form of recognition.

"Hermione."

Severus was looking at her oddly.

"Is it ok if I let Crookshanks out? I've told him he has to find me tomorrow morning and he will; he's very intelligent."

He nodded, and they watched the part-Kneazle walk under the desk, a definite air of anger about him.

"Hermione, your parents…"

"I've taken care of them." She answered stiffly, but hot tears formed in her eyes and she turned away as they began to fall down her cheeks.

A large, warm hand took hers, squeezed, and led her behind the desk, up a small flight of stairs, and into the quarters beyond.

"S-sorry." She choked out, her eyes on the floor.

Gentle fingers on her chin brought her face upwards, and all at once his black eyes were boring into hers, warm and concerned.

"I'm not good at this." He said stiffly, but there was empathy in his face.

"That's okay."

Slowly she leant towards him, resting her head against him, her forehead to his neck. He was stiff for a moment, but she knew his stillness was due to his inexperience, and he hadn't pulled away from her. His arms came gently around her back in time, pulling her snugly against him, and she put her own arms around the very bottom of his back, pleased when he didn't move.

They'd never been so close in this way before, with him holding her, and there was something about his concerned hesitancy that warmed her heart and slowly calmed her down. She could smell him in this position; there was something stiff and unnatural on the surface, like a whiff of over expensive perfume, but then there was the familiar scent of potions ingredients, something outdoorsy and something that was just him.

"Is it horrible being back here?" She asked him softly, and his arms tightened around her back.

"It is … surreal." He answered softly. "It will be worse when everyone returns."

"You'll have to change Dumbledore's office around."

Severus pulled away ever so slightly to look down at her, a crease between his brows.

"And why's that?"

"You know why." She answered, but he raised a challenging eyebrow at her, so she sighed and elaborated. "It's all about impressions; when the staff, when anyone comes into the office, it will need to look like yours, not Dumbledore's. It needs to look like you've taken over, if you left it the same it would seem … weird."

There was a smirk playing around his mouth.

"What?" She demanded.

"You would make a good spy."

She chuckled.

"I'm Gryffindor, remember? Brave, reckless, heart-on-my-sleeve type."

"Yes." He answered dryly. "But you have your secrets."

"I do." She agreed quietly, and tilted her head up to place a kiss on his jaw line, admiring the softest of smiles on Severus' mouth.

A comfortable silence settled between them, and they remained pressed together.

"I'm not looking forward to altering it." He told her quietly, and though she felt his sorrow, she couldn't help but be silently happy he was revealing this to her. It was a big step. "I haven't noticed it look any different to when I was a child here."

"Were you happy here?"

It was a while before he answered.

"When I wasn't being hounded by the Marauders, I was. And even then I was still happier here than at home."

"It was that bad?"

"Worse."

She tightened her arms around him.

Hermione knew this was a delicate subject.

"What's your Mum like?"

He looked back down at her then, a frown marring his expression.

"Why?"

She looked away from his endless eyes, worried she would become emotional once more.

"She made you." She answered quietly. "I'm very grateful to her."

She felt his breathing hitch and his body tense against hers, and once again she was terribly sad. It shouldn't come as such a shock to anyone that their existence is appreciated. Hermione blinked back hot, irrational tears, and tipped her head upwards to lay a kiss on his face, but his eyes locked onto hers, her body was filled with inexplicable tension, and then his mouth descended onto hers. It was a kiss that was almost stifling in its intensity, it was hot and needy and made her body sing … but then it was over and he'd turned his head away from her, his hair curtaining his face.

"I – I apologise. I-"

"You certainly don't need to apologise for that, Severus."

His head snapped back to her and she smiled at him, and slowly, he began to relax.

"My Mother was … weak. But she did try."

Hermione silently noted the use of past tense and waited for him to elaborate, but it seemed that was all the answer she was going to get from him.

"I'll help you change round Dumbledore's office tomorrow morning, before I leave for the Burrow."

He gave her a look of immeasurable gratitude.

"Thank you."

"Oh, before I forget." Hermione reluctantly disentangled herself from him and looked around the room for her beaded bag. She found it on the floor by the entrance. For the first time she took in her surroundings; she was in a large sitting room, furnished in much the same way as Dumbledore's office; strange and interesting instruments scattered around the place, books on shelves from floor to ceiling. There were two large and luxurious blue settees in the centre; a far cry from Severus' cramped rooms and worn armchairs in the dungeons.

"You're moving up in the world." She said absently.

"Well I'd much rather still be in the dungeons." He replied waspishly.

Hermione blinked.

"Oh. Yes of course. I'm sorry Severus, I wasn't thinking."

He made a gesture that was a sort of half shrug, before turning and sitting on the far side of the nearest settee. She walked over and joined him.

"We'll need to redecorate in here as well; it's very Dumbledore."

"Indeed." He answered.

"Right. Well anyway." She opened her bag and began rummaging around it, her fingers seeking something she was sure should be at the top.

Severus was giving her a sardonic smirk.

"Undetectable Extension Charm. Oh here it is." She pulled out her house key. "Gemino. Right, I used my parents' savings to set up everything in Australia, well, and magic, but the point is that their house is now in my name. I thought it would be too risky to sell it – I don't want the Death Eaters to torture a random muggle family. I know it won't be safe for a while, but after they come and find nothing … after a few months, or even weeks perhaps, I'm assuming they'll move on to more important things. They might burn it down or … or wreck it anyway, but if they don't, well, I want you to have somewhere you can go, somewhere no one will think to look for you, if you ever need it." She handed him the key and wrote her address on the nearest piece of parchment.

He was looking at her oddly again.

"Thank you, Hermione."

She smiled.

"I would do the same for you with my address, but I doubt it will ever be safe; the Dark Lord knows where I live, as do many of the wizarding community, and I'm not particularly well liked these days." He tried to smirk but it looked more like a grimace.

Hermione took one of his hands in hers and inwardly marvelled and how well their hands seemed to join.

"Hermione …" The expression on his face immediately made her uneasy. "I'm going to give the Dark Lord the correct date that Potter is to be moved from Privet drive."

For a minute she didn't understand him.

"What? Why?"

"He believes me to be very well informed. I cannot give him the wrong date." His face was set, and unreadable, but she was sure he didn't want this.

"Can't you just say you don't know?!"

"That will not be … acceptable."

"I don't care! If they know, then they'll be waiting. How are we supposed to move him safely?! We can't use Appirition or the Floo network; the Ministry has obviously been infiltrated, so we'll have to do it in the open-"

"How do you know about the Ministry?" He interrupted, and pulled his hand from hers.

"It's obvious!" She snapped. "We'll be outnumbered, the Order won't expect to be ambushed… You can't tell him Severus! You mustn't!"

"If there was another option do you really doubt that I would take it?" He snapped back. "Or have you already forgotten that I have been protecting Potter since you were in nappies?"

Hermione bit back an angry retort.

"Is there really no other way?"

"There is always another way. But this is the best one."

This was grim.

"Fine. What's the plan?"

He regarded her impassively.

"Severus you may as well tell me, there's no way in hell I'm not going to be a part of it."

A reluctant twitch of his lips told her the two of them were okay.

"If there are 7 Potters, each with a protector, then the Death Eaters will have to split up, and there will be far fewer of them to deal with. They won't be expecting it either, and organisation amongst ranks is not quick or efficient. I'm going to plant the idea in Mundungus' mind."

"I'll support it if I get the chance." Hermione said, her brain working in overtime; there was no doubt it was a good strategy. "So they'll need to be 6 other people to be Harry, they'll need to be the less skilled ones… I suppose that'll be Ron and I for sure, I reckon Fred and George will volunteer, it will just be whether or not Mrs Weasley lets them, and whether she lets Ron as well I suppose but I don't think she'll be able to stop him. I can imagine Fleur would want to help, but I don't know who else.

"Moody will be one of the protectors, Tonks as well I should imagine, and Lupin, Mr Weasley perhaps, Kingsley, I'm sure Hagrid will want to help, and maybe Bill, especially is Fleur's going. That's an awful lot of Weasley's." She added thoughtfully.

Severus was watching her, a stern look on his face.

"What?"

"It will be a difficult journey."

"Of course."

"I … It will be dangerous."

"Of course. Severus I have to help."

"I know." He looked cross with himself. "But … it's - I … I want you to be … safe."

It was strange seeing him struggle to articulate. She took his hand again.

"And I want you to be safe. It's not going to happen for either of us any time soon. We can only try."

He nodded dully.

"I take it you'll have to be there with the Death Eaters."

Again he nodded, looking away from her.

"Promise me you'll play your part convincingly? It will be dangerous enough without me worrying about you blowing your cover."

He looked at her again, with that same look of gravity he'd given her when she'd asked him to promise he'd still be there when she returned to Grimmauld Place.

"I promise."

"Good. And try to show your face so I can give my very worst without worrying I might hurt you?"

He nodded.

"Good."

"When will you be leaving the Burrow with the two imbeciles?"

"Severus they're my friends, don't call them that."

He sneered at her and she rolled her eyes.

"I should imagine we'll leave some time after Bill and Fleur's wedding, we've still got a lot of planning to do, but we need to speak in person to do so, it would be far too dangerous by owl.

"Once we're travelling, and once term starts … we're not going to be able to see each other in person, are we?"

"It would seem unlikely, if not entirely impossible." His face was impassive.

A lump formed in her throat.

"I'll miss you very much." She told him quietly.

He looked at her for what felt like a long time, as if trying to judge the sincerity of her words.

"I'll miss you too." His voice was barely above a whisper.

And then they were kissing. Hermione wasn't sure who kissed who; in fact it wasn't long before she wasn't sure of anything at all. There was urgency in their kisses, need and sadness and lust and it was bewitching. His hands were in her hair, clutching at her back, and before she knew what was happening they were pulling off her jumper, his hands scorching her bare arms.

"Bedroom." She managed to breathlessly demand, and then he was leading her through one of the doors on the far end of the room, into a plush and elaborate bedroom, a huge four poster bed in the centre.

Then they were kissing again and their kisses turned hungry, bruising, his tongue possessing her, his hands all over her, and it was so hard not to touch him in return. His hands were pulling up her top and she wiggled out of it, suddenly in only her bra and jeans.

"Can I undo your buttons?" The flash of fear she saw in his eyes hit her like a physical blow. "Only the ones on your outer robes? I'll be careful not to touch you."

Slowly he nodded, and nervousness flooded her stomach as she pulled away from him, her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for the buttons by his collar.

This had been a secret fantasy of hers ever since she'd realised the buttons on his teaching robes went all the way down…

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

She noticed on the third button how rigidly he was standing.

"Four."

Pulling the fabric carefully away from him to avoid touch was harder than she'd thought.

"Five."

Severus seemed to have stopped breathing. Her hands were right over his chest now, close to his heart.

"Six."

He shut his eyes. Seeing him like this, being the reason he was so afraid … it was awful.

"I'll stop. I'm sorry Severus, I didn't think it would be this bad-"

"No." He said through gritted teeth. "Do it."

"But-"

"Please." He opened his eyes then, and although they were clouded with fear, there were still flames and desire and … hope. And she was powerless to do anything but what he asked.

"Seven."

"Eight"

His eyes snapped shut again and his hands turned to fists.

"Nine."

"Ten."

He was so still.

"Eleven."

Her chest hurt.

"Twelve."

This was such a huge show of trust from him.

"Thirteen."

Perhaps she was pushing him too far.

"Fourteen."

He was impossibly brave.

"Fifteen. I've finished."

He opened his eyes and took a huge breath in, the look he gave her made her hot all the way down to her toes. Not breaking eye contact, she reached forward and pushed the garment off his shoulders, it fell to a heap on the floor, and he stood before her in his white shirt, and black trousers.

And then he grabbed her, lifting her off the floor and pulling her against his chest, the surprise made her squeal, but she wrapped her legs around him delightedly, her hands in his hair as she kissed him, and his answering chuckle vibrated through her body. Deftly, he crossed the room and put her none too gently on the bed, she pulled him on top of her with her legs and she could feel hardness through his trousers, digging into her, and desire coursed through her body. She kept her hands on his shoulders and in his hair with difficulty, focusing instead on the gentle way his hands skimmed over her skin, soft and worn, but so perfect. Without breaking the kiss she kicked her shoes off and began undoing her jeans.

"Allow me." He murmured, but flashed her a look of uncertainty as he stood, about to touch her.

Hermione stood too, surprised to find herself a little lightheaded, she took his hands and placed them on the waistband on her jeans. Slowly, he pushed them down her legs, his fingers grazing her skin, making her shiver, and she was sure he was teasing himself more than her. Hermione stepped out of them.

"These too." She said, pinging the elastic on her Brazilian briefs.

With a look of shy glee Severus knelt before her, and placed his hands hesitantly on her hips, but pulled her knickers down in one swift movement. She kicked them off, and looked down at the man before her, his black eyes shining as he looked at her. Hermione continued to gaze at him as she took off her bra, lust flowing through her at an almost frightening rate. There was no room for any self consciousness in her brain; the way he looked at her, the way she felt when she looked at him … it erased everything else.

With their eyes still locked together, Severus bent forwards, ever so slowly, and kissed her hip bone. The feel of his lips on her skin was intoxicating. With one last look up at her, as if asking permission, he trailed kisses diagonally down to the most private part of her, finally laying a kiss on the centre of her curls. Hermione shuddered, and all at once she needed … everything. Dropping to her knees she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him like she'd never kissed anyone else. Well, she'd never loved anyone else, she would never love anyone else like she loved Severus.

An idea popped into her head and she broke the kiss.

"Stand up."

He raised an eyebrow at her, but did as she'd instructed.

"Take your shirt off."

An uneasy look crossed his face then, but she waited patiently, mentally crossing her fingers and toes.

He undid his buttons quickly and efficiently, without looking at her. He paused with his hands on the edges of his shirt, his face impassive if you glanced, or didn't know him. But Hermione did know him, and she knew he was scared, she could feel his fear, and it hurt her, and she wished she could make him realise just how beautiful he was to her.

Hermione reached up and undid the forgotten buttons on his cuffs.

"Severus it doesn't make me want you any less. Nothing could."

Doubt flared across his pale face then, but somehow her words seemed to do the trick, and he pulled his shirt off, his eyes a mixture of defiance, uncertainty and need. She lifted herself up a little until her head was level with his navel, slowly, giving him ample opportunity to pull away, she leant forwards and kissed his belly button. He inhaled sharply and her touch made him jump. Hermione lowered herself back down, pleased with the progress they were making, and began untying his laces. He rested a hand on her bare shoulder as she pulled off one, and then the other boot, then his socks. For some reason bare-foot Severus was very dear to her.

Her hands traced the outline of his growing erection through his clothes, and a secret part of her hummed with happiness when he shivered; he was so responsive to her touch. Smiling, she undid his belt and flies, slowly easing his trousers down. Finally, she slipped her fingers through the elastic of his pants and pulled them down to his ankles, not giving him time to step out of them before she took him fully in her mouth. His surprised groan sent another surge of lust straight through her. She sucked him hard as she pulled away, millimetre by millimetre, and the look on his face made her reluctant to release him at all.

Suddenly his hands grabbed her arms, pulling her up so quickly he was almost lifting her, she was pulled against him, and it became much harder to think as their naked bodies pressed together, and he was kissing her as if his life depended on it, his mouth demanding and brutal, caring and soft. She pulled him back to the bed, keeping her hands tangled in his hair to keep as much contact as possible, and pulling him onto it with her, she on her back and he with a leg either side of her, supporting himself with his forearms.

"Can I-"

"Yes." She interrupted him.

An amused and carefree look swept across his features, transforming his face into something totally different, and somehow just the same.

"You don't know what I want to do, Hermione."

"Whatever it is," she answered breathlessly, "you can do it."

Something delicate overtook his face momentarily, but then all there was was lust, and as he bent forwards and kissed her again, Hermione forgot everything.

He kissed by her ear then, and began trailing kisses down her neck, along her collar bone, down to her cleavage, his hair brushing against her bare skin and, in combination with the feel of his lips on her, making goose bumps erupt over her body. When his lips enclosed over her nipple, it sent a jolt of electricity through her and she gasped. Perhaps it was because it was him, but she'd never felt like this before, it was as if every nerve was over sensitive, so everything he did to her was heightened. He release her nipple, only to move over to the other one, his lips tight, his tongue swirling, and oh God how could it feel so good?

When he stopped, and looked back up at her, there was something unfamiliar in his face, there was wildness too, wildness and fire and arousal, but something she didn't recognise, and it left her breathless, and full of anticipation. Still staring at her, he put one hand down, and stroked at the skin of her thigh, moving his fingers upwards teasingly slowly, making the ache between her legs grow to a point of near discomfort. When his fingers finally, finally brushed between her legs, and he felt how aroused she was, an almost primal smile erupted on his face, full and beautiful with his thin lips and crooked teeth. His touch was still hesitant, inexperienced, but there was enjoyment on his face rather than embarrassment, and every touch from him felt like fire. As she became increasingly restless, squirming against him, his eyes glittered in a way she hadn't seen in them for a long time, full of anticipation and excitement. He was pushing her closer and closer to the edge…

"Enough." She moaned, a distant part of her still wishing she could run her hands over the gentle muscle and wiry hairs on his chest, kiss every scar, soothe every pain.

A slightly disappointed look crossed his face, but then exhilaration replaced it, and he stood, grabbing her legs and dragging her to the edge of the bed, positioning himself by her entrance. She felt, rather than saw the shaking of his hands as he tried to position himself, apparently not as controlled as he was trying to appear.

"Allow me." She smiled, echoing his words from earlier.

Propping herself up slightly, she took his length in her hand, unable to resist stroking him, relishing the way he twitched slightly at her movements, the gentle noises in the back of his throat.

"Hermione …"

She grinned, totally unapologetic, and guided him gently inside her. Hermione wrapped her legs around the base of his back, and he gripped the tops of her thighs by her hips.

For a while, neither of them moved. He kissed her softly, almost chastely, and she wondered if he was trying to memorise exactly how this felt, just as she was.

Then without warning he pulled almost completely out of her, thrusting himself back in fully, quickly, and hard. She heard herself moan, but it was his whimper that registered properly in her head, and it made something in her stomach tighten. She matched the rhythm he set, a part of her relieved at being a little less in control than last time, and it wasn't long before they were both panting, his hands griping her, his nails on her skin, and everything began to tighten.

The low, soft noises he made at the back of his throat sent pulses of pleasure through her, every bit as strong as his movements, part of her was honoured to be doing this to him. She could see the tension in his body, the slight trembling in his arms, the pleasure on his face. Despite all his flaws, there was something worryingly perfect about him this way, something intimate and secret and dear.

He caught the perfect place inside her then, and she cried out, his eyes and nostrils flaring, and he began to move harder, faster, and everything turned into a haze of pleasure, all that existed was his wonderful face and the way he felt inside her. Pressure was building, something tingled against her skin, starting deep inside her and spreading across her arse cheeks and down her legs.

"Hermione." Something about her name, moaned from his lips sent her unexpectedly over the edge. Heat blazed through her, she stiffened, her voice calling out his name as the strength of her orgasm lifted her hips from the bed, it roared through her, and everything but the emotion in his eyes as he watched her dissolved.

As the last pulses of pleasure flitted through her exhausted body, Severus' mouth opened and a noise between a growl and a moan escaped him, she watched with joy in her heart as his expression twisted, looking on the verge of pain, he thrust into her one last time, then shuddered as he found his release, shouting something unintelligible and shuddering forcefully, dropping to his forearms then collapsing against her. He was panting as if he'd forgotten to breathe the entire time they were having sex. Hermione smiled a secret smile and moved one of her hands to cradle to back of his head, his nose by her ear.

She would have quite liked to have stayed that way for the rest of their time together, but she didn't think Severus could be very comfortable, half on the bed with his feet still on the floor. She pushed slightly at his shoulders, indicating they should move into the bed with her head when he looked sleepily up at her.

There was something about him pulling out of her that felt … sad, lonely, but she didn't acknowledge it as they slipped underneath the bed covers together, and she snuggled up to his side, laying one of her legs over his. It took him a few moments to relax, but he did, and then turned his head towards her, reaching over to kiss her head.

"That was perfect." She sighed, and that shy, sweet little smile crept onto his face.

"Yes." He agreed.

"Did you enjoy flinging me all over the place?"

He huffed out a laugh and his smile turned a little sheepish.

"Yes." He admitted.

A creased formed between his brows.

"We haven't discussed … any … contraception." He flushed, and she bit back a chuckle at his polite discomfort.

"I take the Contraceptive Potion, the yearly one, I took it at the end of the school year."

A contented silence settled.

"Severus," she said suddenly, reaching her hand over and placing it on his cheek, "thank you."

He opened his mouth to say something, a frown on his face, but she moved her fingers over his lips to stop him.

"Thank you." She repeated.

He kissed her fingertips before she moved her hand.

They were silent again after that, both satisfied and tired and happy. It was difficult to feel anything but safe and cared for sharing a bed with the man she loved, the war seemed a long way away, the danger ahead of her too, even the thought of her parents didn't hurt as much as it had before. Hermione took his hand in hers where she lay, sighing with happiness when Severus laced his fingers with hers, and she kissed his shoulder, drifting off to sleep with a smile lingering on her face.

It was a few hours later Hermione awoke. She was disorientated for a second, but comfortable and warm and she quickly realised where she was, and who she was with. Severus was sleeping beside her, his head tilted towards hers. A gentle smile broke onto her face. Who even knew it was possible to love a human being this much?

Slowly the reason she was awake floated into the forefront of her mind. Nature was calling. She was so comfortable it seemed a shame to move. And she had no idea where the loo was. Severus seemed to be sleeping peacefully; she didn't want to wake him, it was doubtful he got anywhere near enough sleep. She disentangled her hand from his, and eased herself out of the bed, quietly as she could. To the best of her memory there were no other doors in the bedroom, so her best bet was going back into the living room. It was when she entered it that the bizarre and guilty feeling of walking around the headmaster's quarters naked entered her sleepy brain. She fought the urge to cover herself, and was immensely glad when she found the huge bathroom.

When she was finished, she took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a nightmare, but other than that she looked … sated, well, pleased with herself. Hermione grinned at her reflection. She was just finishing off a quick clean of herself when she heard a noise that made her stomach drop and her heart turn cold.

Screaming.

Severus.

She bolted back out of the bathroom through the lounge, into the bedroom, wandlessly lighting the torches as she went…

He was tangled in the bedding, struggling and writhing, a terror on his face so intense it that all she could do for several heartbeats was just stare at him in shock.

Then she leapt onto the bed, grabbing his shoulders.

"Wake up!"

He started struggling against her as well, the fear on his face even seeming to increase.

"Severus WAKE UP!"

He sat bolt upright, his eyes flying open, darting all around the room, his hands balled into fists, his face dangerously pale but slick with sweat.

Then his gaze settled on her. She wanted to say something reassuring, but it was as if her tongue was frozen in her mouth, and all she could do was look at him.

"You are here." He whispered, his black eyes wide and almost childlike in their fear.

"Yes." She answered breathlessly. "Yes, I'm here Severus."

His right hand reached through the air, pausing before it touched her, as if he was scared she might disappear. His fingers brushed against her cheek, his eyes fluttering closed.

And then he grabbed her, hard enough to hurt, and pulled her to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he clutched her, his naked, sweaty body trembling against hers.

"I'm so glad you're here." He whispered against her neck, and something sharp and painful struck her heart.

"So am I." She answered, surprised to find her voice steady, and she stroked the back of his head, breathing in his scent, loving him, and wishing she had the courage to tell him so.

No pressure, no big promises, no unrealistic expectations.

That was what she'd told him, and she wasn't sure how he would react, or if he was ready to hear that from her. And … she was scared.

"Hermione …"

She was sure his fingers would leave marks on her skin.

"Severus." She said softly. "It's okay, we're safe here."

'For now.' Her brain reminded her.

"Hermione …"

She pulled away slightly to look at his face.

She loved his face.

He looked sweaty and scared and out-of-control.

Hermione took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead, something inside her throbbing when his eyelids fluttered shut. She kissed his eyelids.

"Will you let me do something for you?"

He nodded, his arms still around her, his hands still clutching at her sides.

Silently she Summoned her wand, conjured a cloth, and wetted it with cold water. She pushed his sweat soaked hair back from his face with her fingers, then gently placed the cloth on his cheek, he flinched almost imperceptively, and she wondered absently whether she'd ever get used to that reaction from him. She wiped his cheek, moving down to his chin, then up to his other cheek, across the top of his lip, up his nose, across his closed lids, and then across his forehead.

Her Mother had done this to her often when she was ill, and Hermione knew how wonderful it felt.

She wetted the cloth again, and leant forwards, using one hand to lift the hair at the back of his neck, while the other one gently cooled him there, moving the cloth up to his hairline and then as low as she thought he'd be comfortable with. A tiny smile broke onto her face when he kissed the skin of her shoulder.

"May I do your hands?" She asked him, and he nodded, loosening his grip on her very slowly, then letting go all together. He didn't move away from her at all though, so presented his hands to her rather close to her face. She let out an amused huff of air, taking one of hands in her own and wiping it, between his fingers and across his palms, then doing the same to the other hand. She kissed his forehead, and cast a silent cleansing charm over them both.

"What did you dream about?"

He shook his head.

He was still under the covers, and she above, so Hermione slid herself on top of his lap, placing her arms back around him, and bringing his head to her chest, his forehead to her neck. His arms went back around her, gently this time.

"Severus …" she said slowly, knowing this was risky, "who hurt you?"

He went very, very still, and for a while she doubted he would answer her.

"Some scars are from fights, others from the Marauders, some are punishments I received from the Death Eaters, but mostly … they are from my Father." He said finally. "He was … violent."

She had suspected as much, but to hear it our loud was still a shock. How could anyone hurt a child like that?

"And is it a 'B' on your back?"

"I didn't know that was still visible."

"It's not obvious, it just … stood out to me."

"Bellatrix." He said. "She was the main inflictor of punishment in the first war."

A cold, hard, vicious anger stole through Hermione's body.

"I hope I get to be the one to kill her."

He pulled back and looked at her face.

"You're serious." He observed, and she nodded. "I hope you never have to kill anyone, Hermione."

A slight wave of contrition flowed over her.

"I hope so too," she amended, "but if I do have to, I hope it's her. She needs to die."

"Yes. But I hope you never have to be anywhere near her." Said Severus quietly, a slight shiver running over him, and buried his nose in her hair.

"What happened to your Father?" She asked after a pause.

"He died of liver disease about 8 years ago." He answered emotionlessly.

"And your Mother?"

"She fell down the stairs and broke her neck when I was 16."

"You think he pushed her?"

"Yes. But I cannot be sure."

"I'm sorry Severus."

"It was nothing to do with you."

"I know."

She kissed his head.

"I wish you'd had a better life. You deserve a better one."

He made a derisive noise at the back of his throat and Hermione ached in the knowledge of how much he'd suffered, and how little he valued himself.

"Shall we go back to sleep?" She asked some time later.

"I will not sleep now." He answered stiffly, and Hermione wondered again what he'd dreamt of.

"We could just try." She said softly, and slid under the covers, extinguishing all but one torch.

She could feel Severus lying rigidly by her side, and just about make out the taut lines on his face. She rolled onto her side, facing away from him, but grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her. He was stubborn, and resisted for a moment, but she rolled her eyes end persevered, and eventually he followed her lead, pressing himself against her back, and putting his arm across her stomach. After a few moments, she felt him relax slightly, and he pulled her against him more snugly, every inch of her back pressed against his front, and for a second Hermione felt a little embarrassed. With one hand she pulled her hair up onto the pillow and away from Severus' face, aware that it would probably suffocate him in the night if she left it.

He kissed the back of neck, and she smiled to herself, taking the hand on her stomach and lacing her fingers with his.

It actually didn't take long for him to fall back asleep, his breathing deep and even, his body relaxed and his arm a heavy, but pleasant weight on her side.

It took Hermione longer.

She just loved him so much.

When she awoke, sleepy and satisfied, she was alarmed to find herself alone, but she had barely sat up and registered all that had happened last night when Severus appeared at the door, still stark naked and sleep mussed.

"Morning."

"Morning Severus." She smiled as he slipped back into bed. "We have a lot to do this morning."

"Yes." He answered, a frown on his face. "Hermione … I don't think we should … do … have … sex … this morning."

A heavy disappointment settled in her stomach.

"Why?"

He looked at her for a moment, his face impassive.

"Because if we do I doubt that I will have the strength to allow you to leave afterwards."

Oh.

"Oh."

They were silent for a time, his face was open and worried.

"Perhaps you're right." She said finally. "If we do I'm not sure I'll be able to leave."

She smiled a sad smile, which she saw echoed in his beautiful eyes.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to leave anyway." A lump formed in her throat as she whispered her confession.

His hands came up to her face.

"You must." He whispered, and then he kissed her. It was a gentle, restrained kiss, but heat pulsed through her all the same, and she held back frustrated tears with difficulty.

She showered and dressed, finding him sitting at the Headmaster's desk, a purring Crookshanks sat in front of him.

"He likes you."

Severus smirked and tickled behind the cat's ears.

"Do you wish to start in here or in the lounge?" He asked.

"In here?"

He nodded, and together they set about removing most of the things that spoke of Dumbledore, and changing the dominant colours to shades of green and silver.

They did the same throughout the quarters, working silently, each dreading the inevitable departure. Neither knew what to do with the wiring items and tinkling instruments of the late Headmaster, so they ended up Disillusioned in the cupboard of the study.

Finally Hermione checked she had everything safely contained in her beaded bag.

"Here." Said Severus an embarrassed look on his face, and handed her a bag.

"What is it?"

"Potions; Dittany, Healing Potion, Antidote to common poisons, Burn Paste, Veritaserum, Blood Replenisher and a bezoar. Do you think you'll require anything else? I wasn't sure what to include."

"That's … wonderful. Thank you."

The thought of Severus selecting and brewing Potions he thought she might need on her travels made her heart sing. She placed them carefully into her bag.

"I'd better go and fetch Crookshanks."

He was waiting for her in the office, and got into his carrier with a grave expression on his face. He was really, very clever.

"Miss Granger." Dumbledore's portrait was calling her, she walked slowly towards him. "Good luck."

"Thank you."

She turned to leave, but something suddenly occurred to her.

"You make him contact me if it gets too bad for him here." She said fiercely.

Dumbledore regarded her steadily through his half-moon glasses.

Finally, he nodded.

"Promise me? If he needs me, promise me you'll make him. Promise?" Tears stung in her eyes.

"I give you my word." He said gravely, and she nodded, walking heavily back to Severus, Crookshanks tucked safely under her arm.

"I'd better go." She told him, putting her cat on the floor.

He was stood stiffly in the centre of the room, his hands behind his back. He wasn't looking at her.

"Severus I don't want to leave."

He squeezed his eyes shut.

"You must." He said, his voice sounding oddly choked.

"I don't want to." She repeated, realising to her horror that there were tears spilling from her eyes.

He strode over to her, and placed his hands on her arms, his eyes boring into hers.

"You must." He said again. "Do not think of me - I'll be fine - Potter needs you."

"You need me." She choked out, and he enfolded her into his arms, holding onto her tightly.

"Yes." He agreed. "But Potter will need you far more; Lord knows he and Weasley wouldn't make it down the driveway of the Burrow without you."

She laughed into his robes, happy at his admission, and a rare compliment.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he whispered, "more than you can know."

They pulled away from one another, and Hermione placed a chaste kiss on his lips that quickly turned passionate and intense and sad, before Severus wrenched himself away from her, his face flushed and his eyes pained.

"I've taken down the wards. You can Apparate from here."

"You take care of yourself," said Hermione, her voice thick from her tears. "Do whatever you can to make yourself as safe and well as you can be."

"You too." He replied, and the rough quality to his voice told her that he hated this as well.

She took his face in her hands, desperately trying to memorise the softness of his skin, the prickle of his stubble, the emotion in his eyes as he looked at her.

Hermione kissed the crease between his brows, picked up her beaded bag and her cat carrier, and Disapparated.

She reappeared down a dingy alleyway in the town nearest to the Burrow, and sat on the floor and cried, her head in her hands. She cried for all the people who had died in this fight, and all the people who were grieving, she cried for her parents, and for all that was to come, she cried for her cowardice in not telling Severus how she felt, but most of all she cried for the look of misery in his eyes as she had turned into darkness.

About an hour later she found herself outside the door to the Burrow, and then she was being greeted and hugged by a million ginger-haired Weasleys, each with a smile and a kind word. And then there was Ron, and from the look in his eyes he was prepared for what the three of them were to face as well, and her brain reminded her why she was here, what she fighting for, and how important it was.

And she was ready.

And as she smiled and laughed along with everyone else, a guarded part of her heart was mourning and celebrating, because she knew that whatever happened, whatever she faced, and however bad things got …

She loved Severus Snape.

I'm cutting it very fine but here it is! Happy Christmas eve!

I actually hadn't planned on including the very last section in this chapter, but as I was proof reading it seemed a bit too depressing for right before Christmas so I tried to lighten the mood a little at the very end ;)

I know there's been a fair bit of smut in the last two chapter so for those who aren't a huge fan of that sort of writing I'm sorry and there won't be as much for a while now, I just wanted their romantic relationship to be pretty solid before Hermione has to go.

To anyone whose review I haven't responded to personally yet I am so sorry - my priority was getting another chapter up for Christmas, but I will respond in the next week as soon as things calm down again I promise - reviews are very much appreciated so I will always respond.

I'll aim to have another chapter up in a couple of weeks but I'll have to see how much work I get and how mental things are ;)

Thank you all so much for reading my story - it genuinely makes me so happy to share it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

smithback - Thank you!

Guest "Fantastic! Can't wait for the next chapter ! Thank you for this." - So glad you've enjoyed it, hope you liked this chapter ;) Thank you for reviewing

Guest "Love your work." - Yay thank you!