36.

"Alex, Brian Cassidy is here to see you."

I look up from my legal pad to the familiar voice coming from the phone on my desk.

"Alex?"

I hadn't realized I hadn't responded.

"Sorry Rebecca, yes… you can send him in."

Why was he here?

Out of the blue.

I'm not sure I liked a surprise visit from Brian Cassidy.

No time to panic.

I took a deep breath in when he knocked on the door.

"Hi." I said standing, posturing. "Come in."

"Sorry to just show up at your office, but I was hoping to talk to you without Olivia."

"Ok." I said blankly. I gestured for him to sit as I took my seat behind my desk.

He sat, but quickly leaned in picking up one of the pictures of Henry on my desk.

"He's really grown."

"He's almost 5 months."

"He looks like Olivia."

I couldn't help but smile.

He did, more everyday.

"You should see his facial expressions, they're just like hers."

Cassidy looked at me, shaking his head.

"I have to say I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you weren't in the city."

"I haven't been, just flying under the radar for a few days. Hoping to speak to you, to see Henry and Olivia."

"Cassidy?" I said, catching myself fidgeting with my pen. "I have to ask why you're here?"

Cassidy leaned back in the chair as if to not seem so intense.

"I want to talk to you about Henry."

I wasn't sure if I was in attorney mode or mama mode, either way I could be ready to fight.

"Ok, let's talk about Henry."

Cassidy was still holding the photo of Henry and occasionally he would just pause to look at it.

"I haven't been a very good father so far."

His confession.

I couldn't disagree.

"But, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. You and Olivia have a life together. You have Henry… I was never in the equation from the start."

"Brian," I said trying to be more personable, "Olivia has always wanted you to be in Henry's life. She said that from the very beginning."

"And you? Do you want me Henry's life?"

"I understand why she does. She never had a father and I think she figures that Henry having a father that comes around every once in a while is better than not having one at all."

"But you think Henry would be better off without me?"

"I'm not saying that."

"Olivia wants me to just hand over my parental rights. She wants you to adopt him. That's what you want as well."

"Yes." I said emphatically.

Why would I deny it?

Why back down?

"He's my son Alex."

"I know." I tried to say sympathetically thought it wasn't a great response.

"She wants me to just give him to you. She knows you'll be better for him."

I swallowed hard.

"Brian, I love him. I take care of him. I provide for him and I'm there for him. He's my every thing. He and Olivia are my every thing. I don't want to fight over Henry. Henry doesn't deserve that, Olivia doesn't deserve that and really you and I don't either. Henry deserves to be loved and it is fully my intentions to give him every ounce of love I can, not make life harder for him."

"I love him."

"I don't doubt that."

"But you think I'd make a shitty parent?"

"I think you have to show up to be a parent."

Cassidy placed the picture frame down on my desk and then stood up, walking towards the window.

He had turned his back to me.

"I know about Liam Connors."

A left hook right in to the chin.

I glared at Cassidy as he turned slightly to see the look on my face.

"I know about him escaping and you and Olivia having to be put under protective custody right before Henry was born."

"We were never in danger. It was just precautionary."

I saw Cassidy shake his head.

"Cassidy what is your point in bringing that up?"

"You're not perfect Alex. You have skeletons too."

"And that makes me a bad parent? Because if we're comparing pasts…"

"Not comparing pasts, I just want to make sure that Olivia and my son are safe with you."

"As opposed to what? Being with you?" I asked defensively.

"I can protect them from my past."

"And I can protect them from mine." I fought back.

I stood up folding my arms against my chest. "And why is your concern even for Olivia? Henry of course, but Olivia, why?"

"You don't think I care about the mother of my child?"

"I do and I think you've cared about her for a long time. But your concern for her is suspicious."

"What do you mean suspicious? Because I care about her, love her?"

Cassidy caught what he said.

"Are you sure you came here to talk about Henry?" I jabbed.

"I came to talk about my family."

Oh God, I was going to be sick.

"You mean my family?" I said my voice low.

Cassidy stood up straighter, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Henry deserves to have his mother and father."

Oh fuck.

It was happening.

A bomb exploded right at my feet and I was shattering in to a million pieces.

"I think it's probably time you left. I'm sure some hooker or dealer is looking for you."

Cassidy just looked at me for a moment and then made his way out of my office, jarring my heart with the slam of the door.

My hand reached for the edge of my desk as I tried to steady myself.

"Oh God."