Disclaimer: It is not mine!

"So, everyone has tried the hat on. Am I correct?" Gandalf asked. Everyone looked around, wondering if someone else would raise their hand. But no one did.*

"What about you?" Pippin was sitting up straightly, looking at Gandalf. Then everyone turned and looked at Gandalf. His expression was unreadable.

"Let's see you go!" called Merry.

Gandalf choked. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" said Pippin.

"Ah…" Titters and whispers rumbled through the crowd. Gandalf exchanged a glance with the grinning Aragorn and took the hat, placing it on his head.

"Hmmm… you are loyal to Manwe. You carried out your mission. And you also are very wise as well. Bravery, of course, you possess much. But you are not the most patient. You are brave and courageous, and you sacrificed yourself for the Company, and for Lothlorien. The Balrog would have done much damage had it come to Lorien. I would say either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, but I really think that you are GRYFFINDOR!"

Gandalf took the hat off and placed it back on the stool. "There. Satisfied, Peregrin?" Pippin nodded, with a grin on his face, and Gandalf continued. "Now, I know that you have wondered why in Middle-earth we are doing this. You may think it without reason, or just something for fun, or a dividing up for the King's purposes. Peregrin Took asked at the beginning why. I replied 'for fun'. I shall give you the second and more important answer now.

"You recall the Last Alliance, I am sure. Elendil Leader of the Faithful of Numenor and Gil-galad High King of Elves joined forces to defeat the menace of Sauron. Many peoples of Middle-earth were called. Forces from the Grey Havens, Rivendell, Lothlorien, Eryn Lasgalen**, Arnor, Gondor, Moria, and many other regions came to fight. Many leaders died. Oropher, Amdir, Elendil, Gil-galad himself. But the battle was won, though Isildur's stubbornness and the power of the Ring ensured that the Last Alliance's full purpose was not fulfilled.

"But it was through the uniting of many armies that Sauron was defeated. Only through the Alliance could Mordor have been attacked. Though the strength of Men is great, and it was greater then, the Men of Numenor could not have attacked Mordor and won without the support of Elves and Dwarves.

"So, to bring us back to this Sorting Hat, the reason I have done this is for a lesson. To fight against evil we often need allies. It was only through Rohan's coming that the Battle of the Pelennor was won. If Treebeard and the Ents had not stopped the orcs that had been traveling to Rohan there would have been no home left for the Rohirrim and Gondorians. If the Druedain had refused to lead the Rohirrim by old paths to Minas Tirith, the city would have been lost. Allies are essential, especially when dealing with a spirit of pure evil and hate, such as we have with Sauron.

"With these four Houses; Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw, each house is tightly knit in general. However, the houses are often in strife. They fight against each other. Perhaps two houses are briefly allied against one or both of the other houses. It causes friction amongst them.

"In our world there are a few examples of this. Elves and Dwarves, for example. They all too often distrust and are suspicious of each other. The Elves tell one story of the Sack of Menegroth by the Dwarves of Nogrod. The Dwarves tell another. And it is true that the Dwarves of Belegost tried to dissuade their kin from taking Menegroth as well. Elves and Dwarves have been at odds for many it seems that peace between the two races will come, when Legolas son of Thranduil brings Elves from Mirkwood and Gimli son of Gloin brings Dwarves of Erebor. Their friendship is proof of this.

"Perhaps the best example of needless separation is that of Arnor and Gondor. As you all know, after the death of Elendil, Isildur was to take over both Arnor and Gondor. However, he was killed in the Disaster of the Gladden Fields, and Valandil his youngest son became King of Arnor. But he and his descendants never claimed the Southern Kingdom, so the kingdoms of the Dunedain were split. If Gondor had been part of Arnor, then the battles waged by the evil kingdom of Angmar might never have happened, or Arnor, with reinforcements from the South, might have destroyed Angmar. When King Arvedui was hard pressed, he begged for help from Gondor. But the Gondorian fleet arrived too late for Arvedui. He had perished in the icy Bay of Forochel. If the kingdoms had remained united under the banner of one king, much would be different.

"Another example is that of the kingdom Arnor itself. After the death of King Earendur, his three sons fought amongst themselves for the leadership. Eventually they formed three separate kingdoms; Arthedain, Cardolan, and Rhudaur. Each one fell, one after another. Together, they would have remained mightier as Arnor. Again, much would be different today. The Northern Kingdom might still be standing."

People nodded, and Gandalf continued on.

"So, to come back to why we are doing this, it is to be united against evil that seeks to destroy everyone. When our allies are terrorized by evil, let us not abandon them. Eorl came to Gondor's salvation at the Battle of the Field of Celebrant, and in return he won the plains of Calenardhon. If Rohan under Theoden had not come to the Battle of the Pelennor, Minas Tirith would have been lost. Sauron would have been free to take the rest of Gondor, then Rohan, then sweep up into the Vale of Anduin and into Eriador. He wanted to take over the world, to bend it all to his rule.

"And there is another very important fact. These Houses are clearly delineated. You are in one house, and one house only. However, many people here would have done well in another house. Legolas here could have been in Gryffindor just as easily as Ravenclaw. Saruman could have done well in Slytherin as well as in Ravenclaw. You may both be a seeker of knowledge and possess great bravery in your quest for knowledge. The Houses do not allow for such greyness. Do not take this seriously. As I explained to Peregrin, it is more of something for fun here.

"The Houses are not perfect. Someone may not have any of these qualities. Or they may have all, and the Hat is forced to make a hard decision. It is true that some people clearly are designated for one house, such as Boromir or Treebeard. But most are not. They are balanced between two or more houses. You may have noticed that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are often much alike for one, and the same for Slytherin and Ravenclaw. This Sorting Hat is not infallible. There are many more types of personalities than these four Houses.

"So from this I hope you have gained a lesson or two. Now you are free to go."

Everyone stood up and there was a mass exodus out the door.

"I wonder how long that took. At any rate, it must be far past lunch now!" exclaimed a certain hobbit.

"Insatiable hobbits! But do not worry, Peregrin Took. I doubt anyone in this city would deny you a good lunch, as late as it may be. As these other hobbits." said Gandalf in return.

Pippin gave a skip and ran off to the kitchens. The other hobbits followed, more slowly.

Some time afterward the five hobbits were situated in a sunny courtyard of the city around a table, talking about the strange events of the day. On the table was several empty plates. No food was left. Pippin was leaning back in his chair, smoking his pipe, and so was Merry. Bilbo was contentedly blowing smoke rings. Sam was looking at all the flowers growing in the courtyard. Frodo was silent, staring up at the blue sky.

"Cornflowers, roses, daisies, buttercups, harebells, lavender," Sam muttered to himself.

"What did you say?" asked Merry. Sam looked up.

"The flowers. Some of them I recognize, but others I don't know. Like this one here." He pointed to one. The flowers were delicate and white, while the leaves were silvery-green and felt like velvet, not unlike sage leaves.

"That is named mithlas in Sindarin, which translates to 'grey leaf'," said Legolas, entering at that moment. "It is useful for coughs for the Edain, I have heard from Ioreth, and doubtless, hobbits as well. I have always thought it strange that the Edain and hobbits fall prey so easily to sickness and death. They seem fragile at first glance. But now I know the courage and toughness of hobbits. How many Edain would have carried the Ring those many leagues? Or Elves, for that matter?"

"An Elf could have carried the Ring. But as they are more powerful and immortal, there would have been more to tempt them with. I refused to carry the Ring because I knew what it could lure me with. It would have been greater in my hands. Great indeed would have to be the will that wanted to wield the Ring for its own purposes." said Gandalf, also entering the courtyard.

Legolas nodded, and went off, presumably to find Gimli and avoid the smell of the pipeweed, no doubt. Gandalf sat down and took out his pipe as well, lighting it. They sat there, drinking up the sunshine. Frodo especially looked more relaxed than he had in the hall, indoors.

"I wonder what house Gollum would have been in," wondered Sam.

"As Smeagol, before the Ring came to him, he most likely would have been in Ravenclaw. He was inquisitive and curious, and longed to know about the secrets of the earth and mountains. But when he got the Ring his cunning was brought out. His cunning has always been great. And he had some ambition, to regain the Ring and become the master himself. The Ring devoured him so that he would have been Slytherin." Gandalf replied.

The hobbits fell silent again. Indeed, Bilbo seemed to be asleep. But no one woke the old hobbit. The sunlight crept over the courtyard, lighting up the white stones of the ground, gilding the flowers with the last light.

"Is your hat the Sorting Hat?" ventured Pippin.

"No indeed, though it does resemble it. My hat was lost in the depths of Khazad-dum, and the Lady Galadriel had no similar hat for me in Lorien. But my hat smelt of pipeweed, and this Sorting Hat most assuredly does not."

Suddenly a young boy rushed into the courtyard. Pippin rose up. "Bergil! How are you?"

But Bergil had more pressing matters on his mind at the moment. "The Sorting Hat's disappeared!"

Gandalf looked up. "It has gone back to its own world. Do not fear for it."

"Do you suppose we'll ever see it again?"

"Perhaps, Meriadoc, perhaps."

Meanwhile, in a dusty office in a world far, far away, the Sorting Hat was hanging on a hook next to a cloak. A bright golden-red bird with very long tail feathers was perched on a bookshelf, and the only sound was the whirring of many curious, intricate instruments that seemed to be made of silver. Many portraits of slumbering people hung on the walls.

Suddenly, without warning, the door opened and an old man walked in. He had a long white beard, was dressed in long robes, and half-moon spectacles, through which piercing blue eyes twinkled, perched on his nose. He seemed a little weary, tired perhaps. The man hung his cloak on a peg, then noticed the Sorting Hat. With a smile, he took the hat and walked over to his desk. He sat in the chair and placed the hat before him.

"Well?"

The Sorting Hat rose up. "That world was rather interesting. Luckily, a wizard there figured out how I work almost immediately. I Sorted many people there."

"Did they learn the lesson?"

"Oh, yes, indeed. The wizard spoke afterwards about being united and allies and everything. He was very wise. But he said that I was fallible! The nerve!"

The man chuckled. "Don't you mind. Now, are you ready for another assignment?"

"Yes, indeed. Where now?"

The man took a wand from his robes and twirled it in midair in front of him, muttering strange words in a foreign tongue. After some time the air in front of him seemed to be distorting weirdly, like curved glass, in the shape of a circle almost. Finally he picked up the Sorting Hat.

"You are going to the world of Narnia now." As the Sorting Hat nodded in affirmation the man put the hat through the distorted air and the hat immediately disappeared.

*Yes, yes, I know there are some I missed… see below.

** Mirkwood. The news of the battles there and the renaming of Mirkwood to Eryn Lasgalen would have come to Minas Tirith by this point.

So, this is the end. Thank you for staying with me this whole time! There may be chapters added for people who I have missed later on.

Note:

You are probably wondering about the views that Gandalf states here. That is one of the problems with Hogwarts, the houses are all too often conflicted so that they cannot join to present a united front. The best example is that of the Triwizard Tournament, when there is friction between the houses about who is going to be their champion. Hermione points this out in one of the books, which book I forget.

And certainly I will not deny that there are parallels that can be drawn between this and our modern world. America should not abandon Israel because of those people who want Israel to be completely wiped from the map, for example.

There is a difference here, and that is that Sauron is pure evil, and cannot be anything else. There is no possibility that a real, true peace can be made with Sauron.

Sometimes peace can be made with dictators, but it is not always possible. Dictators want to conquer the world by force and make everyone to kneel to them, force everyone to believe what the dictator believes.

And we must remember that war is awful. Tolkien himself hated war. But sometimes war is inevitable. There is no way around it, both in Middle-earth and our Planet Earth. Compromise and negotiations will only get one so far, and with people that want to completely annihilate America and our allies, there is barely any room for negotiating. If someone completely wants to murder you and your friends and family, trying to talk them out of it does not work most of the time.

So, that's my personal opinion.

And yes, I am a proud American.

There are some people who I have missed, that could have been put in; Lothiriel, Amrothos, Gildor Inglorion, Halbarad, and Galdor, among others. Later on if I am motivated enough I will add them to the story with their own chapters. No, Thranduil and Sauron will not be Sorted. Thanks to Samuel La Flame for pointing out Lothiriel and Halbarad. And thanks to everyone who followed, reviewed, and favorited this story!

Did you like the ending? What do you think of the story as a whole? Gandalf's Sorting? Please, just one more review… it's so quick and simple to press that button!

And in case you are wondering, I am a Ravenclaw.