Author's Note: I'm not kidding. It can be hard to write sometimes. I was writing this up until the deadline and I'm glad I can publish it now :) Thanks again for the kind comments and enjoy the chapter!

A Previous Summary: Beast Boy tried everything he could do to convince Raven to posses Robin again. She had learned about what happens when she gives power to an Emoticlone and this worries her, especially since possessing Robin would be a danger to both him and herself. In the end, Raven does agree and she confronts Robin. It takes a lot of time to learn and adjust to new methods before she can successfully possess Robin. The Titans want to celebrate Raven's success and they're happy that she was able to accomplish her goal after so much time has passed. For once, Raven feels a lot better about herself and she even considers if there's other things she could accomplish as well.

Amnesia

Chapter 36: High Levels

The rest of the day was much more reassuring. In the last few hours of daylight, yeast rose and molten cheese bubbled in the oven. Waiting for the timer to go off, the Titans and I hung out on the couch. Starfire was playing against Cyborg and the competition was stiff. Previously, the mechanical man seemed positive that he would win against the tangerine girl and now he was looking nervous.

Sitting next to Beast Boy, I watched as Cyborg tried to unsuccessfully wipe out Starfire's car. Each time he turned, Starfire was forced to steer in the opposite direction. It was dangerous to be offensive in this game and Starfire primarily played defense. She hadn't crashed the car once and her vehicle still looked brand new while Cyborg's car had been beaten and battered. Robin and I rooted for the rookie while Beast Boy stayed loyal to his best friend.

"C'mon, Cy. You can take her! Just turn...turn that way. Yeah that's good. That'll throw her off."

"Pipe down, Grass Stain and let me drive!"

In the final lap, Starfire gained speed from a powerup. Cyborg left bombs in her path and she had to swerve to avoid them, costing her the inside of the turn. With the extra space between the cars, that gave Cyborg enough time to put it into gear. He crossed the finish line and there was a collective groan, aside from a triumphant yelp from Cyborg.

"Dude, I can't believe you almost lost that one."

"Thanks for the support, BB," Cyborg replied sarcastically.

"It was a nice race, Starfire," said Robin. "You did great."

"But I do not understand," the alien insisted. "I had been the better operator of the vehicle, yes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I believe the phrase is: slow and steady wins the race, and surely that is what I had done. So should I not be the victor?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not really the point," Robin apologized. "The point is to beat the other person across the finish line, even if the car is all messed up."

"Sorry 'bout that, Star," said Cyborg. "Maybe another time."

Not too much longer after that, the timer went off and the competition was brought to an unfortunate end. Starfire and I helped set the table while Cyborg sliced the pizza; he was also guarding it from Beast Boy, who stood by his side and frequently tried to steal a piece. Robin poured fresh lemonade into our cups and then everyone scattered to their seats for the much-anticipated meal.

"You think you could possess this slice of pizza?" Beast Boy said to me, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I don't even want to find out," I retorted.

"Please. Friend Raven, may you pass the butter of peanuts?" asked a concerned Starfire. "This particular slice of the pizza is quite dry."

The pizza shrank on the platter as everyone satisfied themselves. Gradually, we started to talk again because our mouths were no longer occupied with food. Cyborg brought up the topic of my achievement today and I set the remains of my pizza back onto my plate. The Titans didn't need to hear from Beast Boy to know that I was dreading the lesson. Of course, they didn't want to upset me, but it was something that needed to be worked out. I explained it as best as I could and it wasn't really convincing, but they all respected what I had to say.

"I hated doing it," Robin told me suddenly.

"You mean being the one I had to possess?"

"No. It wasn't even that. It was the pressuring you I hated. You always seemed so down on yourself and I wanted so badly to show you what I saw, how much you've improved and how well you were doing. I feel bad about it because I know how much you hated it, but it was the only way to get you to do it."

"And Robin is not the one to blame," Starfire announced. "For I also feel the guilt for what we had done to assist you."

"You guys didn't have to do any of this," I laughed nervously. "I didn't know you felt so bad about it. I would've done something."

"No no, don't say that," said Cyborg. "There's nothing you should feel bad about."

The Titans wanted nothing more than for me to get better. Since my powers were linked to my amnesia, they believed that my training could be vital towards my lost memories. Just like a tiny piece fitting into a puzzle, one little thing could make the whole situation clearer. But when I expressed my disinterest in possession, they knew that negligence would only harm me. Their "encouragement" wasn't the best remedy, but it did work. I had been severely conflicted with myself and their support gave me the confidence I needed to complete my goal. I was simply ecstatic: I felt like I could run across the country, defeat an army of villains, and kiss Beast Boy all at the same time.

The only downside: I still didn't have my memories.

The puzzle piece we had been searching for wasn't as important as we had hoped it would be and that could mean a few things: either we were missing something or something has yet to be discovered.

Although we had been slowly building up to a conclusion, I'm sure everyone was afraid of what we would find once everything clicked into place.

"This better not be an apology," I warned them all.

"Do you want it to be?" asked Beast Boy.

"No. I don't."

"Alright, then I'm sorry."

"I know you are," I answered softly.

Even though possession was one of the last few tricks I needed to learn, I still had a lot of practice ahead of me. There were all sorts of skills and techniques that I could do with astral projection so I wanted to get the most out of it. The next morning, while everyone slept in late, Robin got up early to do some research. He walked into the Main Ops room to brew a cup of coffee, only to see that the machine was already running.

"Hey," he said, catching himself. "Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

"I was about to say the same thing to you," I replied.

When Robin asked me why I was already up, I told him about how I felt with my powers. Before going to bed, I practiced accessing my soul-self several more times. By my fifth attempt, I was getting faster at removing myself from my body and I could do it by the mere mention of my mantra. Robin was impressed by my dedication but he wondered why I took the liberty of waking up during sunrise.

"I had been thinking about the obstacle course all night and I really want to give it another try. If I put these skills to the test, I can get better and better at it."

"You really wanna do the obstacle course now?"

"Yeah. I want to start doing it regularly too, just like you guys."

"It has been a while," Robin noted. "And it wouldn't be a bad thing to have you run through it for old time's sake."

"So?" I urged him.

"Alright alright," he laughed. "I'll help you but we'll do it after I get some work done, okay?"

"Okay! Whenever you're ready!"

Over an hour passed before Robin had a free schedule again. Whatever he had been doing on the home computer, I could tell it was very serious business; though, it was strange to see him furiously pecking into the keyboard while maintaining a blank expression. Not wanting to bother the leader of the Titans, I decided to stake out in my bedroom, occupying myself with my Book of Azar. I was just finishing a large section of reading when I heard several taps on my door.

"We better get going before the weather turns on us," he called to me. "You coming or what?"

Together, we traveled down to the obstacle course and quickly took to our positions. I shivered in the morning air. The grass was speckled with dew and the skies were congested with grey clouds, warning us of an impending storm. I was wearing athletic shorts and a t-shirt but I immediately regretted my fashion choice; a jacket would've made my training a lot more comfortable. While Robin tinkered with the settings, I stretched my muscles and communicated with my Emoticlones, who were aware of the upcoming event. Everything was all set.

Set it to Level 4, I told Robin through our mental link.

Reluctantly, the masked boy smiled and obeyed.

"Alright. You know the drill," he said over the microphone. "Do your best."

Overall, I was very proud of what I did in the obstacle course. Robin gave me plenty of challenges to work with and I fought my way through it with vigor. I think my favorite part was when I faced this giant machine, a new addition to the advanced level. Instead of a bunch of enemies scattered throughout the entire field, there was a metal dome with a bunch of mechanical hoses sprouting from beneath it. They slithered along the ground like snakes and they tried on multiple occasions to pull me down from my flight‒this was also one of the few times Robin permitted me to levitate.

After destroying a few of its tentacles, I came up with a solution. I encased myself in a sphere of dark energy and I folded my legs. Outside the translucent barrier, the hoses began to coil around the sphere and once they got a good enough grip, the hoses became taut and they started pulling me towards the dome. The machine hissed and it split apart, creating an opening. The gap opened and closed violently, demanding for a bloody meal. Of course, if I ever got to that point, the course would automatically stop the simulation so that I wouldn't get hurt. However, this was meant to be a realistic situation: if the Titans had faced a villain similar to this, it would be best to defeat it as if it were such.

While being dragged closer and closer to the chomping mouth, I managed to keep my calm. I folded my legs and mediated, although I was sure to be quick. My soul-self was extracted and it glided past the hoses that swarmed my real body. Then I flew straight into the machine. It rumbled as I messed with its inner mechanisms, trying to find its weaknesses. Just as my spherical shield was moments away from being crushed, the entire thing ignited into an explosion.

Robin shielded his eyes from the burst of energy. Sparks burst from the wreckage until it ultimately lost power and settled into darkness. Once the smoke had cleared, Robin saw that my dark-energy sphere was still intact, but my body hadn't moved yet. He was ready to shut down the course and rush to aid, but my soul-self emerged from the wreckage not a moment later and I awoke with a triumphant hollar.

I finished the race with a huge smile: my last score was defeated by over a minute. I then flew up to the control booth where Robin congratulated me. He also complimented the way I surpassed the first obstacle with ease. Apparently, it had taken each of the Titans several tries to take it down and I did it in my first attempt. I was glowing with pride.

"You really are getting better and better that this."

"It was almost too easy," I laughed. "But I can't believe how I was able to do that!"

"Well just you wait. You may be able to do these courses faster, but that's 'cause they're easier. Try going the same pace on Level 8."

"I know I know. I got a lot of work to do."

"Not really," he replied, cutting power to the superhero playground. "I'm sure it will be smooth sailing, so long as you keep up with practice."

Robin and I walked back to the Tower in high spirits. When we reached the elevator, he told me he had some other businesses to take care of and I complied, knowing that he had already postponed so much to do something for me. I watched him board the elevator, fiddling with his T-communicator before the doors shut and he was carried away to another floor. Instead of waiting for it to come back, I became intangible and flew up several levels to the Main Ops room.

The pea-green boy was the only Titan in there. He didn't hear me enter because the volume to the video game he was playing was very high. Not wanting to make a big scene, I plopped down on the couch next to him, being sure to rest my feet on Beast Boy's lap. I watched him smirk as he recognized the origin of the gesture.

"Where have you been all morning?" he asked, his eyes still glazed to his game.

"Just practicing a little," I answered with a shrug.

"Wait, don't tell me‒that explosion we heard was 'cause of you."

"I can see you've discovered the trend."

It grew quiet between us. I didn't know what else to say and neither did Beast Boy, so I accepted the silence. I observed the green changeling as he played his game. The glass was darkened and the projection screen was the only source of light in the cavernous room. Outside the windows, rain drummed against Titans Tower, gaining speed as a storm migrated into the city. Beast Boy's face was outlined in the ghostly illumination and my eyes traced his features, from his ears, his nose, and eventually to his concentrated lips. I tried not to stare but I couldn't help myself. Even if Beast Boy was aware of this, he didn't mention it.

"Oh, that reminds me." Out of nowhere, Beast Boy quickly paused his game and then he turned to face me. I sat up a little straighter so he could address me properly. "I gotta tell you something."

"What is it?" I insisted.

"It's important so come here."

Questioning his motive, I scooted a little closer to Beast Boy and informed him that I was listening. He beckoned me again and at this, I huffed a sigh.

"Beast Boy…"

"C'mon!" he whined like an irritated child. "Closer, Raven!"

"I can hear you fine, just tell me."

"Not until you get over here."

"I am here! And no one else is here either! What is so important that you need to whisper it?"

"Closer!"

Reluctantly, I leaned toward Beast Boy's face, anticipating the "important" information he wanted to share. He had cupped his hand near his mouth, as if to tell a secret, but I was so distracted by his urgency that I didn't have any time to consider if I should've trusted him. Sure enough, Beast Boy suddenly closed the gap between our faces and he sealed my lips with a kiss. He then pulled away quickly so he could view my bewildered expression. I had plastered my hand over my mouth as a vain attempt to hide my surprise.

"Beast Boy." He started to laugh. I tried to refrain from smiling, even though I could sense my Emoticlones erupting into cheers and applause. "Beast Boy! Oh Azar, you scared me!"

"Sorry," he snickered but I knew he genuinely meant it. "I just didn't know how to break the tension."

"Well that's one way to do it."

"You should've seen your face. It was priceless."

"Yeah," I chuckled, growing quiet. "I guess it was."

I had studied this transition for ages. Normally, I had grown accustomed to identifying the quirks in my moods. If Timid or Brave wanted attention, I would've sensed it, but this moment was so brief, so acute in size, that it basically went by undetected. At the time, I didn't even think about what I had been feeling; I couldn't explain the urge I felt but I acted with so little consideration. The next thing I knew, my eyes were closed and my mouth was pressed into a pair of sage lips.

When I had first kissed him, Beast Boy reciprocated the action in a similar manner. However, as time wore on, he showed signs of hesitation. A few times, he backed away slightly, just so he could take a breath, but I never gave him enough time. Each kiss progressed in speed and and excelled in force and I didn't want to wait too long for the next one.

"Rae, I-"

It sounded like Beast Boy was going to ask me to stop but he couldn't finish his sentence. He moaned as I leaned into him, kissing him on the the edges of his lips, his jaw line, and even around his neck. My senses were going wild. I could feel his body reacting to these kisses, feel his mind igniting with hectic emotions. I swarmed him with intimacy, almost offending him by how close I wanted to be.

"Slow down, Raven."

"I don't want to," I intoned.

"Raven...please."

But I didn't stop kissing him. I pushed a little harder into him, my chest now in contact with his torso. I returned to his lips, using my hands to guide his face towards mine. I started going deeper and he followed my lead, though he didn't make any dominate advancements. At last, Beast Boy puckered his mouth and gently eased me away from him.

"It's not really you, is it?"

At first, I didn't understand what he meant. I was only kissing him so it seemed random that we would ask such a strange question. However, as I thought about why Beast Boy would ask me something like that, I realized soon enough what he had meant.

No…

I stood up abruptly, putting as much space as I could between me and the pea-green boy. I couldn't even look at him. I could sense his concern for me, his confusion, and his need for answers. It would've been painful to see the disappointment in his eyes, to see the disappointment he had in me.

In truth, I knew what had happened, though I wanted to know why.

"Raven, I didn't mean to-"

Before Beast Boy could console me, I was gone with a flash of my eldritch powers.

Author's Note: I really don't have any news about Amnesia other than it's taking a little longer than normal for me to write them. But no worries. I'll keep updating every 2 weeks. I might plan on having a break during my finals though because my classes are getting harder so I'll need to put more time into school. As of the moment, I should be fine :) Hope to see you guys soon!