BPOV

Who the fuck did he think he was? I couldn't believe Edward pussied out and sent me a text. He said he was sorry, so what? Now, that he knew, everything was going to go back to normal? Not likely.

That was how I felt the night Edward found out the results. Now, three weeks later, we were fully talking.

He even made me laugh once in a while. I knew he was trying hard to make up for what had happened, but I still couldn't let it go. He would text me at night, and tell me how sorry he was, and how much he missed me. He would never say sorry to my face, and I didn't know why.

Maybe I could get over it a little if he did. He was a man, and men were stupid. They never think of the little things.

Moving day was an event in itself.

My parents, Alice, Rose, and Esme all helped. It was great to have such a support group. If it wasn't for everyone's help, it would have taken me months to get everything situated. I thought having so many people around would drive me crazy, but it didn't. The only person that did annoy me was Esme.

She talked about Edward every chance she got. I told her there was no chance Edward and I would be together any time soon. She told me to give it time, and a love like ours would never go away. I was glad she stopped talking about him after I asked.

Now that Edward and I were talking again, he made it a point to ask where I was, what was I doing, or who I was with. My answers were always the same, home, nothing, and no one.

Even if I was out and about, it wasn't his business. It was going to take a lot more than a few conversations to change my mind.

Edward wanted to help me move into my apartment, but I told him no. He called me a stubborn bitch and hung up on me. That made me smile. He knew he couldn't put his foot down, and I would do as I was told. He hated it.

Kate was coming back, and I was soon going to be done with Cullen Financial. I was okay with it. I needed to get away from Edward, so I could figure out my feelings.

Seeing him almost every day probably wasn't the best thing for me. If I were to stay longer, I would probably fall for his smooth talking bullshit.

I was also horny as hell, and playing with myself just wasn't cutting it. If I thought I could just walk away after, I would let Edward fuck me, but I was sure I couldn't walk away.

I always had to stop myself from thinking about sex. I thought about hooking up with some random guy, but that just wasn't me, and who would want to fuck a pregnant woman?

I had been working from home, for a couple of weeks. Charlie set me up with a laptop with his company's program. He started me off with doing the payroll. It was the easiest thing for me to learn but still staying at home.

Starting the following week, I would be driving back and forth to Port Angeles. I was excited to learn something new. I never thought I would like working.

On my last day of work for him, Edward came out of his office, and sat on the edge of my desk. He kept trying to touch my face, but I would just move away. I knew if I let him touch me, I wouldn't make him stop.

Every time I would want to give in and get back with him, I just reminded myself of what had happened between us. I knew I had to stick to my guns. What kind of woman would I be if I just ran back to the man that thought so little of me?

"Would you please have dinner with me?" he asked as I shut down the computer.

I wanted to go so badly, but I didn't know if I should. I was starving, and felt like I hadn't eaten all day. I was very happy when my appetite came back. "I don't know if that's a good idea," I told him. I was so close to running back to him.

"Just dinner with no expectations. I just want to talk about the baby," he said as my hand went to my stomach.

"What about the baby?"

"Just how we are going to work this," he said.

I knew this conversation was going to have to happen, but I was not ready for it. "Why can't we do this over the phone? We don't have to go out to talk," I said.

"Because, I want to see you. I miss you," he said standing up. "Please have dinner with me."

We stared each other down. Could having dinner do that much damage?

"Okay," I said as he smiled.

The only reason I said we would go out was because I knew I wouldn't see him until the following Friday when I had another doctor's appointment.

I was hoping to find out the sex of the baby. I was hoping for a girl. I didn't want to raise a Cullen boy. I knew that sounded selfish, but it was true. I knew I would never let Edward treat our son the way his father did him. If the baby was a boy, I wanted him to be better than the Cullens. I knew in a way the baby would act like his father, but I was hoping to instill better morals.

If the baby was a boy, I wanted him to be like Edward, but not completely. I would want our son to be confident, loving, sweet, and an all-around a good person. Even though I liked the way Edward and I were together, I wouldn't want our son to have such trust issues. I wanted the American dream.

I wanted to have a husband, children and a home. I didn't want a split home for my child. It did make me feel better knowing my child would have its father in their life. I would make sure of it.

Part of me thought I would have to fight for my child, but Edward had yet to say anything along the lines of trying to take the baby away from me. Right now though, we were getting along. Who knew what would happen if we got into a fight. One fight could change everything, which was a proven fact.

Edward insisted we ride together, but he let me have it my way, and I drove myself. I did take notice at how sad he looked. It broke my heart, but I was sticking to my decision.

He was in the wrong, and it was going to take more than a few weeks and a couple of laughs, before I ever decided to get back together with him. I did miss him terribly.

Sleeping alone at night was hard, but I did it. I was taking care of me.

Paying bills was hard, too. I never thought, in a million years, how hard it would be. My mother always took care of my bills, and then, Edward did it for me. I was getting the hang of it, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job.

As I walked to the door with Edward, I saw him staring at my belly. I knew I was starting to show, and my clothes were fitting funny.

My shirts were getting tighter in the boob area, and my jeans could barely button. I was going to need new clothes. I was hoping Renee would buy me some. I had money for clothes, but I really wanted to save as much money as I could.

"You're starting to show," Edward said as we sat next to each other in a rounded booth.

"I know," I said placing my hand over my belly.

"Do you have enough money for clothes?"

"Yes," I said quickly. I really didn't want his money right now.

The waitress showed up and took our drink and food order.

Edward and I just stared at each other. I knew we had to talk, but I didn't want to be the one to bring anything up. I wanted to talk about the baby, but I didn't want to talk about us. As far as I was concerned, there was no us.

"We don't have to go to court do we?" he asked.

"No. I don't want to," I said as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt.

"I know we have time to figure everything out, but I would just like to have an idea of how this is all going to work. I know I'm going to want to be there all the time," he said looking sad.

I didn't know what to say. What could I say? This was entirely his fault. We could have been married and living the dream, but no, he had to be a douche bag. "You can see the baby whenever you want," I said. "I would never keep the baby away from you."

"I know. I just really want this to work. I never thought I could be a father," he said with a small smile.

"Funny how the world works," I said with an eye roll. "So, is there anything else you want to talk about?" I asked. I was ready to leave.

"I don't know. I just wanted to talk to you outside of work. It's going to be hard not seeing you everyday."

Again, I didn't know what to say.

"May I touch your belly?"

I really didn't know what to say...again.

All I did was swallow hard and nod my head yes. Edward moved closer to me, and I closed my eyes. He smelled so good. I wanted him so badly. He put one arm around the back of the booth, and he gently placed his hand on my baby bump.

The warmth of his hand on me had me wanting him even more. I could feel his breath fan over my face, and I almost kissed him. We were close enough to where all I had to do was lean in.

Just then, I felt the baby move for the first time. I quickly looked down to where Edward's hand was and gasped.

"Did you feel that?" I asked him placing my hand over his.

"What? That little nudge?" he asked as I shook my head yes.

"This is the first time I have ever felt it move," I said with a giggle.

The baby moved again.

"This is amazing," he said as we stared at each other.

We were meant to be together, I could feel it, but not anytime soon.

The waitress seemed to have impeccable timing. She sat the drinks down, and I noticed mine and Edward's fingers were intertwined.

When I saw the waitress staring at Edward with lust filled eyes, I let our hands stay together. I knew he wasn't mine anymore, but I didn't want anyone else to have him.

I knew that was beyond selfish...but I still loved him.

"Can I get you anything else?" the ugly waitress said with dreamy eyes.

"No, we're fine," I said glaring at the girl.

She gave me a dirty look, and then walked away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I said feeling my face turn red.

"It's okay. Old habits die hard sometimes," he said as we gave each other distance. "Just so you know, there hasn't been anyone else."

I was pretty sure he was trying to make me feel better. It did, him saying he hasn't been with anyone makes my day, but I know I can't show it.

"You acting all jealous also gives me hope," he said as I internally slapped myself.

"Please, don't do this tonight. I thought we were here to talk about our baby," I said pleading with him.

"We are. I'm sorry; I just miss you so much."

I say nothing in response to him. I want to tell him I miss him too, but I know I can't; not right now. I knew I had to change the subject. "So, here is what I'm thinking," I started to say taking a drink. "I will let you know of all my doctor's appointments. I want you in the delivery room; I would never be that cruel to you. After the baby is born, we will figure something out. Have you thought about any names?" I asked him.

He kept staring at me with an emotionless face.

I had no idea what he was thinking. I tried so hard to read him, and I couldn't get anything from his face.

"No, I haven't thought of any names. Have you?" he asked. His voice held no emotion and I didn't like that.

"Yeah, I have."

"What are they?" he asked, still with no emotion.

"Well, I'm not big on having a boy named after his father, but I do want your name in his name. Well, that is if it's a boy. I have a lot of names for a girl, but my favorite is kinda different," I say looking away from him.

"I want to know," he says with a little bit of humor in his eyes.

"Charleigh, spelled with l-e-i-g-h," I said as his smile grew.

"Really?"

"Yes, I know it's stupid and very hypocritical of me, but it feels right. Charlie has been amazing, I couldn't ask for a better father. I was thinking that it would be an I'm over it type of thing. Is it corny to use his name?" I asked.

It wasn't a lie. Charlie had been amazing to me. I was falling in love with him. Not in the sense of a significant other, but I felt I could feel love for him.

"I love it. Can we make Elizabeth the middle name?"

"Of course," I said as my eyes filled with tears.

"The last name will be Cullen though," he said.

All I could do was nod my head yes, even though he didn't ask a question. I tried to get myself to not cry, but a few tears slid down my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, this happens once in a while," I said with a laugh.

Just as I got myself together, the waitress brought our food over. As soon as the smell invaded my nose, my stomach grumbled.

I had my chicken cut and in my mouth before she had everything on the table. The chicken was cooked perfectly; it melted in my mouth.

Edward tried to talk, but I didn't have time to answer him, I was too busy feeding my face. I heard him chuckle a few times when I would moan at how good the food tasted. By the end of our meal, I had eaten a chicken breast, a huge helping of pasta, and three bread sticks. Edward let me have some of his pasta as well.

After laying my fork on the table, I leaned back in the booth and rubbed my belly.

"Are you both full?" he asked with a chuckle.

"For now, but I would love some dessert to take home," I said giving him a sweet smile.

"Anything you want, Baby," he said. As soon as baby fell from his lips, he said sorry.

"Old habits die hard sometimes," I said as he laughed.

"Yeah, I guess they do," he said as we stared at each other again.

As soon as I had my three layer chocolate cake with peanut butter and chocolate frosting, we were ready to leave. He walked me to my car, and we stood there like it was the ending of an awkward first date.

"Do you want me to follow you home?" he asked holding open the car door.

"No, I'll be okay," I said as I started to fidget. "I don't think I ever said this, but thanks for paying off my car. You didn't have to do that."

"I would do anything for you," he said as I had the urge to run. "Tonight was a great night, thank you."

"It was very nice, thanks for the meal," I started to get into the driver seat.

"Can I hug you?"

I didn't know what to say. I was frozen where I stood. I wanted him to hug me more than I ever thought. I never gave him an answer, but when I didn't say no, he pulled me to him.

As soon as his arms were around me, I started to cry. My life had been so perfect, and now everything seemed so unfair.

"Please give me another chance. Bella, I love you so much, and I was an asshole for the way I acted. I'm so sorry. I can never take it back. I never wanted to hurt you," he said as I pulled away from him.

"I was naïve to think that you would be cool when I told you I was pregnant. I thought you would be happy. I needed you to be happy. I hate myself for still loving you, but I do. I love you so much it hurts to be away from you. I need my time. I need my space. I need to take care of myself, and our baby for a while. Who knows what will happen in the future, but right now...ya know what? This is all your fault. We would have been married by now. We could have had an amazing life together. You ruined everything, because you didn't trust me. I told you in the beginning how I felt about cheating. You knew I would never, ever do that to you," I said.

I was sobbing by the end of my speech, and he just stood there not knowing what to say.

"Edward, I can't do this right now. I will see you next week at my appointment," I said as I got into my car and quickly locked the door.

"Bella, please don't leave so upset," Edward said trying to open the car door. "Please," he yelled.

That was the last thing I heard before I pulled my car away from him. I guess I was going to cry myself to sleep tonight... again.

Hang in there if you are upset over this. Bella is not going to make it easy on him!