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The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 35

by Derald Snyder

*The next morning...*

"Good morning!" Peach called cheerfully as she entered the Basilicom's kitchen, seeing her mother, Vert, and Chika sitting around a table eating their breakfast. The blonde immediately took notice of her mother's slow movements and bloodshot eyes. "What happened, Mom? Didn't sleep well last night?"

Lisa turned to look at her daughter, trying to reassure her with a smile. "Worse than that. I had a nightmare... though seeing you makes me realize what folly it was."

"It was folly to begin with," Vert put in her two cents.

"...What was the nightmare about?" Peashy asked hesitantly.

"Steve," Lisa began, "He was standing with that Laura woman and his new family... and then, you walked over and joined them, waving goodbye and leaving me all alone..."

"I wouldn't do that!" Peach gasped, scandalized. "Come on, Mom, you *know* me better than that! Just because I get along with A-Mac and his sisters doesn't mean I'm gonna abandon you...!"

"I know, I know..." Her mother nodded in agreement. "It's just, you're all I have left, dear Peashy..." Peach immediately drew her into a gentle hug in response.

"You know, I actually met Steve DeRommer before, now that I think about it," Vert spoke up. "It was at an award ceremony acknowledging his stellar work with both computer and 3D film technology. We only spoke briefly, but he seemed like a nice enough man..."

"Well, of course he'd be polite to you, Lady Vert," Lisa pointed out. "Don't get me wrong, it's not like he ever abused us or anything... hell, little Peashy probably abused HIM more with tackling him to the ground..."

"I remember," Peach chuckled. "He always took it in stride, though, giving me a hug once he sat up..." She then sighed. "I think that's why it hurt so much when he abandoned us... especially after losing Plutia..."

"Well, if even if he was a drug junkie, that was still quite reprehensible to run out on his wife like that," Chika stated. "Did ever try to contact you after that?"

Lisa hesitated before answering. "...Once or twice, but I would hang up on him and change the phone number."

"What?!" Peashy released her hug to look her mother in the eye. "You never told me that!"

"He had no right to barge back into our lives after what he pulled!" Lisa growled in anger. "Eventually, he got the hint and left us alone..." She crossed her arms and looked away. "And now, he's got a brand-new wife and children..."

"Well, given Arthur's disposition, it's clear to me that Steve DeRommer has learned from his mistakes, somewhat," Vert observed.

"Well, good for him," Lisa muttered.

"It's funny how I never bumped into Dad while I was training with A-Mac," Peashy mused, "though he said this wasn't unusual for him- he could be really busy sometimes, and end up sleeping at his office..."

"Sounds like he's become quite the workaholic," Chika observed. Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Hello?" Laura's voice echoed from the other side. Peashy promptly stood and walked over to the door opeining it, revealing Laura, iPad, and iPhone. "Hello, Peach," the mother acknowledged.

"Hello, Laura," the blonde nodded. "A-Mac didn't come?"

"He decided to go to Steve's workplace and tell him about what happened face-to-face," Laura explained. "May we come in?" The bodyguard promptly stepped aside, allowing the three women to enter the room. "Greetings, Lady Vert," Laura bowed her head in respect.

"Hello, Lady Vert," iPad and iPhone said in unison, bowing briefly.

"Hello," Vert nodded. "I suppose we should start with your side of the story, Miss Laura... Specifically, what did your husband tell you about his first marriage?"

Laura bit her lip briefly. "Well, when Steve and I were starting to get a bit more serious with our relationship, I got the sense he didn't really want to commit. I pressed him on it, and he eventually confessed that he had had a previous marriage, but screwed it all up due to drugs... not his exact words, mind you, but there *are* children present..." iPad just snorted slightly at this.

"Anyway, he said, that when a sudden tragedy struck his family, he was too messed up to deal with it, so he just got in his car and drove away... as far away as he could. In fact, by the time he was pulled over by a cop, he was already in Lastation. Long story short, he ended up in jail and also spending time in detox... By the time he was released and his head was clear, he finally realized what he'd done, and tried to find Lisa and get back in contact with her..."

"Only for Mom to hang up on him out of spite," Peach jumped in.

"Don't expect me to apologize," Lisa muttered, "He brought it on himself."

"Lisa, please," Vert sighed. "Anyway, continue, Laura."

"Well, anyway, Steve cleaned up his act and threw himself into his work... he was practically married to the job before he met me. So we negotiated a pre-nuptial agreement, and after we got married and I became pregnant, he decided to give our child the middle name of 'Macintosh', as a reminder of his previous failure and resolve to do better this time around."

"Thus his nickname, 'A-Mac,'" Peashy said. "I'm kinda glad I got to know him before I knew he was my half-brother, or I don't think things would have gone nearly as well..."

"Everything happens for a reason, as they say," Chika quoted. "It sounds to me like the only one still holding a grudge is Miss Lisa..."

"And what right do you have to judge me, Oracle?" Lisa shot back. "You've never been in a serious relationship with anyone from the opposite gender, to my knowledge! I won't mention the rumors for now..."

"I am not judging anybody!" Chika protested. "I simply made an observation! It's you who is jumping to conclusions here!"

"That's enough, you two!" Vert chastised. "I will not have this conversation descend into petty bickering!"

"Yeah, Mom, calm down," Peach insisted. "It sounds like Dad admits he's the one at fault here, can't you at least give him credit for that?"

"No," the elder blonde spat. "He can go bury himself in the Gamindustri Graveyard for all I care!"

"M-Mom...!" Peach could almost literally feel the raw anger radiating off her mother. (Geez, first I fail to qualify for the Ninja Warrior Finals, then I find out my training partner's my brother, and now Mom won't listen to reason! Could things get any worse?!)

And then, as if the ghost of the Deity of Sin had heard her thoughts, a certain familiar voice was heard from outside. "Helloooooo~... Peashy, are you here~?"

(Dammit, NO!) Peach thought as her skin turned several shades paler. (Why did I even go there?! I should've known I was gonna jinx myself!) Sure enough, Plutia walked in through the door, holding a doll of Peashy's five-year-old counterpart in her hand.

"Uh-oh..." Chika whispered.

Meanwhile, Lisa's eyes had gone wide from seeing a certain girl that, from her perspective, had been long dead. "P... Plutia?! It can't be..."

"Uh, Mom, don't you remember what Lady Vert told you right after I came back from fighting Uzume?" Peach tried to jog her memory.

"Huh...? OH! Oh yes, now I remember!" Lisa gasped as it came back to her. "This is that Plutia from the other dimension, right?"

"That's me~" Plutia nodded. "You must be Big Peashy's Mommy, right? Nice to meet you~" She gave a brief bow. "I know I'm not the Plutia your daughter was friends with, but I hope we can be friends, too..."

"Oh, she's a friend of yours, Peach?" Laura inquired as she and her daughters turned to face the new arrival. "She's adorable, in every sense of the word!"

"Aaaaand who might you be?" Plutia asked as she looked up at the blue-haired woman. "Are you Peashy's friend, too?"

"Actually, I'm... her father's second wife, Laura DeRommer," Laura admitted.

"And we're her half-sisters!" iPad and iPhone announced in unison.

"Second wife...?" Plutia closed her eyes in contemplation. "But isn't that what they call 'adultery?'"

(Warning! Warning!) Alarm bells started sounding in Peach's head. "Uh, Plutia, it's not quite like that... It's only adultery if Mom and Dad were still married, and I highly doubt they're gonna get back together..."

"Damn straight," Lisa growled. "I'll never forgive him for abandoning us after the other you died..."

"Other... her? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't follow," Laura said confusedly.

"I believe what Miss Lisa and Peach are saying is that this Plutia comes from an alternate reality," iPhone explained. "In this reality, Plutia died, but in the other reality, she survived."

"That's correct. Very clever, iPhone," Vert complimented, causing the ten-year-old to blush from the praise.

"I understand now... I think," Laura said.

"But still, knowing that Peashy's daddy ran away and then got married to another woman..." Plutia muttered. "It just gets me so worked up..."

(DANGER! DANGER! SUBJECT APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS!) All sorts of alarms and klaxons were ringing in Peach's head now... "P-Ploot, please, c-calm down! Th-there's no need to go overboard here...!"

"I-I must agree!" Chika nodded vigorously.

"...What are you guys getting freaked out over all of a sudden?" iPad inquired.

Peach replied, "B-because, Plutia is worse than the Hulk when she gets angry! B-believe me, I've seen it happen before, and it's NOT pretty..."

"Oh, this little girl throws quite the temper tantrum, does she?" Laura chuckled.

"...Little girl?" Plutia growled, before being engulfed in a pillar of light!

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Peach and Chika cried in horror, as the light faded, revealing Iris Heart.

"Wh-what the hell?!" Lisa and Laura cried out in shock.

"Little girl? Really?" Iris Heart smirked, now standing a inch or two taller then Laura. "Perhaps this is more suited to your tastes?"

"Y-you..." The blue-haired woman took a step back, staring at the power-symbols in Plutia's eyes. "Y-you're a C-CPU?!"

"CPU? What a vulgar term to refer to me," the dominatrix growled as she materialized a whip which she promptly snapped around Laura's neck, dragging her in close. "You will refer to me as 'Your Ladyship' or 'Madam Goddess', understand?"

"Meep!" was all Laura could get out, as her skin turned white with terror.

"I-I'm taking my leave now!" Chika cried as she stood and fled the room at (seemingly) supersonic speed.

"D-don't let her get me, Lady Vert!" iPhone cried as she dove underneath the goddess' chair. iPad, meanwhile, seemed frozen to the spot.

"Now then," Iris smirked, "Perhaps I should teach you a lesson or two about infidelity, adultress..."

"H-help me, Lady Vert! Save me!" Laura pleaded.

Vert could only shake her head in futility. "I'm sorry, Laura, but even I can't stop Plutia when she's like this!"

"Oh, it's fine, Lady Vert," Lisa chuckled. "I'm rather enjoying this, actually..."

"Plutia!" Peach said as she walked over to where she could look Iris Heart in the eye. "If you're going to punish her, can you at least take it to another room, so you don't scar the children for life?!"

"Hmmmm..." Iris glanced over at the still-frozen iPad. "Well, I suppose you have a point, Peashy. Come along, Miss Laura..." She started dragging the unfortunate woman through another door...

"SOMEONE HELP MEEEEE!" Laura cried as she pulled into the next room, the door shutting and locking.

"Now then... time for your punishment~"

"KYYYAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAGGHH!"

"You call that a scream? Louder!"

"GAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Peashy could only shake her head at how badly things had gone, walking over to iPad and tapping her on the shoulder. "Hey, you gonna be alright?"

"...She made Mom scared. No one's ever scared Mom before," the teenager whispered, as if in a trance. "Plutia is so cool... I wanna be like her when I grow up..."

Peach could only bury her face in her hands in exasperation.

*To be continued...*

Bet you weren't expecting Plutia to show up, were you? Read and review!