Chapter 34- Defying Gravity
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Defying Gravity
Author's Note:
So, I got this review about my last chapter, and I wanted to respond. However, I didn't know who to respond to, so I'll just post it here.
This was a sad and happy at times chapter, I love the way you wrote cooper too. It would have been awesome if it would have been Blaine instead of Cooper that bumped into Kurt but I understand why you are holding off them meeting. Poor Thomas I feel so sad for him but I'm proud of him for making the right decision to not hold Blaine to a long distance relationship. For a minute there I thought you were going to have him fall for Kurt but I like the way you wrote their friendship. Keep writing and again, thank you for posting.
This made me smile. Thomas has become a favorite of mine, but he's different than I imagined when planning this story. I originally planned him not recovering from the comma, but I couldn't do it. He weaseled his way from a minor character to my favorite in just a few chapters. He's the older one, and probably more practical. He made the decision after meeting Kurt, and realizing that there were other gay boys in Ohio, and he sensed that Kurt would be Blaine's type. When I was planning Thomas, I gave Thomas and Kurt some similarities for a reason (the thin frame, the blue eyes, the compassion, and the sassy attitude, although they both have their differences.) Just because Thomas is moving, don't expect him to disappear from the story. He still has a few significant contributions to this story. )
I also love writing Cooper, although I try not to make him sound so ditzy. I try to envision him as a little goofier then egocentric, like he seemed in Big Brother. I like to think his personality shifted after he landed the commercial. I wanted to make a nod to the 2009 episode from season 6, where Mercedes almost met Blaine in the coffee shop, but I didn't think I could fit Mercedes into the scene.
Thanks for understanding that Kurt and Blaine aren't ready to meet right now. They aren't the same people that they will be when they meet on the stairway. At this moment, Blaine is in love with Thomas, and his heart really isn't open to anyone else. This won't be the last appearance of Kurt though, and the staircase won't be the first time they "see" each other.
Thanks for reading Courage, and thanks for your feedback. I love reviews. They make me feel a little more certain. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, followed, or favorite this story. And a massive Thank you to DJ Eclipse for offering to edit this for me. She truly is awesome. I feel like I have made friends in this endeavor. Thank you.
Cooper, October 1, 2009
Ouch! My neck was so sore. I'd hung out with Blaine and Thomas for awhile last night but I could tell that they needed some private time, so I'd slept in the chapel on a slightly lumpy couch. They needed to say goodbye. My heart broke for them both. They were so sweet together and now they were being forced apart. I worried that Blaine was holding it all together by a very thin thread and Thomas' departure would cause it all to snap. I was originally supposed to return to LA on Friday, but I had a feeling that Blaine would need me around a little longer.
I knew dad wouldn't like me missing classes at UCLA. When I agreed to move out there, I promised that I would take college courses. What dad didn't realize was that I dropped out the day after Blaine's attack. I never wanted to attend in the first place. My GPA was horrible and my acting classes were a joke. All I'd really needed was a good agent and some good headshots.
I stretched and then I went down the hall to Thomas' room. Blaine's head was nestled on Thomas' shoulder, and their arms were wrapped around each other. They were adorable. I started to walk away, but I heard a voice. "Cooper."
"Hey, Thomas. Did I wake you up?"
"No, I've been awake for awhile, but I don't want to move. Besides, I can't. He's kinda got me pinned down," he chuckled.
"You guys are so cute together. You decided to just be friends, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I had to, Coop. Blaine's amazing, and I know for sure that I love him, but Blaine is only a Freshman. He needs to spread his wings. He's about to go to a new school, an all boys' school. He's going to meet someone, Coop." He sighed. "I got a visitor yesterday. His name was Kurt and he's from Lima. It made me realize that there are other gay guys around here. I can't help but think that Blaine fell for the idea of a boyfriend, and not me in particular."
"I disagree, Thomas. It's you he cares about, although he is a sap. I think it's sweet, but I see your point." He ran his hand through his hair. "So you had a visitor all the way from Lima? How do you know him?"
"He sought me out. He heard about the attack on the news. He sent the flowers to Blaine and me. I think he just needs a friend, really. He seemed like a sweet kid and his fashion sense was amazing. That Marc Jacobs jacket looked like it was made specifically for him. I don't understand why I'm finally making friends just as I have to leave."
"Was he a skinny kid with coiffed hair and amazing skin?"
"Yeah! Wait, did you see him?"
"Yeah. He bumped into me in the cafeteria. Wait! He was gay! How could you tell?"
"Coop, Blaine blends in. He's not obvious. That Kurt kid, on the other hand, screams gay. I bet he's had it really rough for awhile. Did you really think he was straight? I mean, how many straight guys spend that much time on their appearance?" he asked me.
"Um, I live in LA. Do you know how long it takes a typical actor or model to get ready on a typical day? Are you trying to say that I look gay?"
"No way!" he chuckled. "I worry that you are going to get whiplash every time an attractive woman walks by. I'd never mistake you for gay. I bet he checked you out, though."
"He did seem timid when I spoke to him. I just thought he recognized me from one of my movie appearances."
"I thought those were extra roles," he remarked.
"They were, but I think I was memorable."
"Didn't you play a dead guy under a sheet in one of those?"
"Shut up, Thomas!" I chuckled. I was going to miss this kid. Blaine would too.
Buzz!
"Oh! Excuse me. That's my phone. I need to answer that. It could be my agent," I said.
Of course, I knew it wasn't. It was Jenny. She contacted me yesterday about a plan, and I couldn't wait to see what she had up her sleeve.
Blaine, October 1, 2009, Westerville Memorial Hospital
I woke up to the sound of two of my favorite people in the world. "Hey." I yawned.
"Hey, buddy!" Cooper said. "How are you feeling?"
"You know, this isn't a bad way to wake up." I glanced at Thomas and kissed his cheek lightly. Then I blushed because I forgot Cooper was in the room.
"Awww!" Cooper remarked.
"Shut up, Coop!" I said as I hurled my pillow at him. He ducked.
"Hey! Is that any way to greet a lady!"
"Jenny!" Thomas remarked. "You better get over here right now and give me a hug."
"Well, I can't turn that down," she said as she practically skipped over to the bed. "Hey, Blaine. I see your hair is back to the natural look."
"Yeah, the nurses said the cleaning ladies were going to bar me from lying here if I didn't lose the gel. They compared the sheets to an oil slick," I said. Jenny snickered. I'm glad they thought it was funny.
"Hey, Jenny. Is someone else with you?" Thomas asked.
"Hey, Thomas!" It was Eric, Steven, Carl, Lucy, Katlyn, Mrs. Davis, and the other cast members. They had a large sheet cake and a bunch of balloons.
"Hey, man!" said Eric. "Blaine said you were awake and you were leaving tomorrow. I hope you don't mind, but we are really going to miss you." He walked over and wrapped his arms around Jenny. She smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek. I was glad they found each other. They were cute together.
""We are dedicating the production of "The Wizard of Oz" to you two," said Mrs. Davis. "I really wish that the circumstances were different. It won't be the same without either of you boys. We hope that you can still come." She handed us both some tickets. "Thomas, I know that you will be in Chicago, but maybe it would give you an excuse to come and visit us. Blaine, you are welcome to come and do a performance or two, if you like," she said.
"I'm fine with that, Blaine," said Lance, my understudy. "We both know the role is really yours. I'll try to do my best, but I'm not good as you were."
"Thank you. I might take you up on that. My dad and Coop said they wished they could've seen me perform. It depends on what's going on, though, and I would never want to intrude on your part, Lance."
"Blaine, we would all be honored if you would do it," said Katlyn. "Thomas, we would also like to still use the props and sets you designed."
"Well, why wouldn't you? They are awesome! I'd be offended if you didn't use them." Thomas remarked. "Will they be finished in time?"
"Yeah, the art club and building trades classes are helping us finish," said Mrs. Davis. "We really miss you guys. We decided that we wanted to bid you farewell the proper way. You are both amazing, and we know that you will both soar in your new schools. Don't be afraid to be the stars that you are! We will miss you both. Boys, we know it's not from 'The Wizard of Oz', but we thought this song would fit."
Katlyn stepped up, and she began to sing.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes... and leap!
I couldn't believe that they did this. They were trying to tell us we shouldn't be afraid to move forward. Even after what happened at the dance, they wanted us to just go back out there like everything was fine.
The rest of the cast members joined her, their voices harmonizing beautifully.
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
Thomas was going to the Chicago Academy for the Arts and he was going to excel there. He was amazing and he would finally be in a place where his differences would be celebrated instead of ridiculed. He would be safe, and they would love him. I had to let him go. He deserved to have the chance to feel like he belonged. He knew how to let people in now, and I knew that he had to take the leap, no matter how hard it would be to say goodbye.
I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
Tears were streaming from my eyes. I knew they were trying to remind us to continue to push the limits, but part of my strength and courage was going to be in Chicago; I didn't know if I could channel enough strength to fly solo.
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
As for me, I still wasn't sure about Dalton. It sounded too good to be true. They were welcoming me with open arms. I had to finish packing, and we were driving up in the morning.
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!
I was both terrified and giddy with excitement. I really wanted to be a part of a team again. I made up my mind; I was going to check into joining that all boys a cappella group. I wanted to be a Warbler.
The Theater kids stuck around for another hour until they had to go. I decided to stay for another hour, but I had to go home and pack.
"Blaine, that was amazing. I'm really going to miss everybody," Thomas told me, while placing a small kiss to my forehead. "Did you know they were coming?"
"No, but I'm glad they did. I bet Cooper had something to do with this, though. Thomas, it's going to be ok. You are going to do great there. I'm so proud of you. I think everybody will finally see what I see in you."
"Blaine, you will be great too. I know you will. Don't forget to call or text when something great happens. I'll always listen. Whether I'm in Westerville or Chicago, a piece of my heart will always be with you. I love you, Blaine!"
"I love you too, Thomas!" I tilted my head and drew in close, and our lips met in a chaste but sweet kiss. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Blaine, don't ever apologize for kissing me, because every time our lips connect, it's an incredible moment that I'll always cherish." Those gorgeous pools of blue gazed at me intently. "I have something for you. It's not as good as I would've wished. My hands were kind of giving me fits, but it's getting easier. The doctor said the twitching was most likely temporary, and it should eventually stop."
He opened his sketch book. It was a portrait of me, but I had a mane and whiskers. He had titled it "The Courageous Lion." It was beautiful.
"Thomas! This is spectacular. You really are remarkable. I will cherish this forever." I gave him a hug. I didn't want to let go. "I have something for you too, but you have to promise me you won't play it until you arrive in Chicago."
"You recorded a cd for me?"
"Yeah. It has the song I sung to you at the dance, and there are a few others on there too." This time, it was Thomas that leaned in and kissed me; this time neither of us pulled away. I felt his tongue lick my bottom lip, and I granted it entrance into my mouth. His hand moved to my cheek, and I deepened the kiss. I didn't want this moment to end. I shifted forward and Michael's letter fell out of my pocket. I broke the kiss. Thomas' eyes were still closed, but he opened them and looked at me, puzzled.
"Blaine, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, not at all. Your kisses are sexy as hell." I hesitated. "I have something else for you too, but it's not from me. You may not want it. I've read it and I feel like I need to let you decide if you want this or not."
"Who is it from?"
"It's from Michael."
Thomas, October 1st, 2009
I could feel my hands start to tremble. "Why do you think I would want this?" I asked him.
"Michael wrote this to you the other day, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to give it to you or not. I do believe he meant what he wrote. If you don't want to read it, you can throw this in the garbage, and I'll never mention it again. He apologized to me, Thomas. That is what's in the letter, a sincere apology. If you want to read it, I'll go get us some coffee from the cafeteria."
"Blaine, I, I, I. I don't know if I can. Could you read it to me?"
Yeah, I could, if you really want me to."
"That's the only way I can stand to hear anything from him."
"Ok." Blaine started reading slowly and calmly.
Dear Thomas,
I'm sorry. I came to see you because I wanted to say this in person, but you have people that love you that prevented that from happening. I can't blame them for not letting me see you, especially after what I did to you.
I didn't realized what a horrible person I have been to you and Blaine until that moment. I didn't realize that I let hate consume me so much.
The hate wasn't even directed at you. I hated Blaine. I don't anymore, but he's still not my favorite person. I don't hate you, nor have I ever, because I don't know you. I don't really know you at all. That is my fault. I never even tried. I didn't bother to ever even talk to you because you are gay. I've always been told that gay was disgusting and wrong. I always just accepted it and I'm not saying that I agree with it now. However, I've never seen a more sincere declaration of love than what I saw you do that night. You put your own life at risk for Blaine. You made me realize in that moment that love is love, whether it is straight or gay. You love Blaine, and I tore you guys apart.
All I can say is that I was truly scared and I acted out of fear. It was never my intent to stab you. It wasn't my knife. I just reacted, but it was still every bit my fault. I turned myself in as soon as I realized what I had done.
I knew Derek hated you. You could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He never told me why. I know the reason goes deeper than what he will ever say out loud. I just accepted his hatred, and I didn't try to discourage it.
I never thought I'd ever be the kind of person I have become. I had even disillusioned myself into believing that I was better than Blaine and better than you. In reality, I don't hold a candle to you. Thomas, you are the most courageous, kindest, and most unique person I'd ever met, and I've barely spoken a word to you. Your actions truly revealed how chivalrous you really are. From this moment on, I want to be like that.
I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, but I know that if the tables were turned, I couldn't. However, that's what makes you so much better than me, and that gives me hope that I can change. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to hate you, Blaine, or anyone. I don't want to be the monster I have become, but I don't know how to begin to change. I hope that this is the start, the catalyst to the changes I need to make.
Sincerely,
Michael
I was trembling. I could feel beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead. Tears started to rain from my eyes.
"Shhhh!" Blaine's voice said soothingly. "It's ok, Thomas! It's ok. He won't ever touch you again."
"I can't believe he apologized. Blaine, do you really thinks he means any of it?"
"I don't know. He's fooled me before. That's why I told him that he wasn't going to see you. That way, the choice was yours and not his."
"Blaine, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to believe."
"What does your heart say?"
"It says, I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready to just let it all go and pretend like it didn't happen."
"If you were ready, then I'd be worried. I'm not either but I know in my heart that I have to let it go. I will eventually, when the wounds, physical and mental, aren't as fresh."
"Then I need to work up to that, too. Right now, though, I don't want to think about Michael or Derek. I want to spend to rest of our time together. Can we at least please play my song? I'll wait until we reach Chicago to listen to the other tracks, but I want to hear our song."
"Ok! Before I play it, though, I want to continue where we left off," Blaine said.
"You know best friends don't normally make out like this, right?"
"We are two gay teens in Ohio. What about us is normal?" he reasoned, and my lips crashed into his.
Author's Note: Next up, Blaine goes to Dalton, and Thomas moves to Chicago. After this update, the next chapter will probably be up in a week. I love the reviews. Thanks guys.