Chapter 34: Confession

Sam's POV

Anger boiled inside my veins instead of blood.

"I hate you Daren!" I shouted out to nobody. I was facing the Pacific Ocean, shouting at the waves which crashed on the cliffs. I stood on the tip as the spray of the salty water wet my clothes. The pain took over my entire body. I no longer had control over my actions. My knees gave up on me and my body arched forward and I was suddenly falling down the cliffs. A wave splashed my body with salty water and as I was about touch the water I could not help but think that had I been human a fall like this would kill me. And right now I wanted to get done with it so badly. I'd take suicide gladly over continuing living like a pathetic fake. Because that's what I was; a lying pathetic hypocrite. I pretended everything was fine, that I could be one of them when it was clear I could not. Without Alec I could not carry on. I felt numb all the time and my heart ached whenever I saw a couple, which among the Cullens was all the time.

My body collided with the freezing water, which was already freezing into ice. The water was dense which reminded me of the time when I buried myself in Finland. I had also been searching refuge from the pain back then. Was I really a self-loathing snob who wasn't able to have fun with her guy? Did my attitude annoy people? I wondered what was about what I said to Daren that made him snap at me like that.

My mind went on overload. Fog took over and I was shifted in a vision seeing Alec pinned over me, holding my body firmly on the ground.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" he said in a calm but firm voice…

XXX

I climbed up the cliffs, water dripping from my long hair. It was midnight and a full moon shone and bathed the world underneath it with a natural white glow. That is, until grey clouds covered it completely and continued to build up until rain started pouring. I reached the tip of the cliff and put both my hands on the edges and pushed up. I was about to start running when a voice interrupted me.

"Sam?"

Daren. I turned to face him. "I don't want to talk, go away." I told him and started running towards the cottage. He stopped me before I could get past him. "I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry Sam. I took it too far and I understand you if you hate me, you have every right to do so. But please don't. I don't want to lose you too." He said to me. I noticed that he was also dripping wet, so he must have been here for a long time.

"Daren, I… You don't need to apologise. I realise that my attitude may not be pleasant at all." I told him, just wanting to get home and take a hot shower.

"You're wrong. I acted like a dickhead back there. I should not have been so persistent on a topic that pains you so much."

"Don't ever bring that up. I should not have said anything about that."

"No, Sam, you were lost in your visions for five whole days. You're in pain. Everybody knows that. We want to help." He insisted.

"You can't. Nobody can. Look… let's just not talk about it anymore. 'Kay?" I asked him and before he could comment I ran off to our cottage.

XXX

After a nice hot shower I laid in on the couch. Things were awkward especially when Nessie, Jake, Emmett all made eye contact with me. I had made Daren promise that no one else would know the reason of our fight, so they weren't able to ask me anything. Nessie looked quite worried and if I knew her enough I would say she would be dying with curiosity. Yet thankfully, nobody asked anything. Everybody left after a while and Daren sat next to me. I knew he wanted something as he only gave me the puppy dog eyes when he wanted something really badly.

"Daren, what do you want?" I asked.

"How did you know I wanted something?" he asked with surprise written all over his face.

"Call it woman's intuition." I said with a bored tone. "So, what do you want?"

"I want you to teach me how to fight." he said. Had I been drinking a cup of water, I would have made a perfect demonstration of the spit take.

"And why would you want to learn that?" I asked him trying to keep my voice composed.

"Because you almost killed me out there. I want to learn to defend myself if something happens. What if we get attacked?"

"Touch wood that doesn't happen. And well… stop being rational! It doesn't suite you. I guess I could teach you a thing or two." I said, gripping the wooden coffee table in front of me.

"I guess some of it rubbed of on me. You have taught me well." he said and put his hands together and bowed as if I was his sensei. I sighed. "Let's go, little grasshopper." I said and the minute I got up he pulled me up, slung me back over his shoulder and carried me outside. As much as I struggled he had already managed to get me to the clearing.

"You disrespect your sensei, grasshopper. Give me one thousand push ups, Now!" I roared at him the minute he let me down. He dropped down and stared doing ten push-ups a second. Vampire strength and speed; got to love them!

"I'm no judge but isn't the sensei supposed to be more about spirituality and keeping the soul pure and stuff." he said.

"Yeah, well think of me as your badass sensei." I said and put my foot on his back and pushed down. He fell, face down into the snow. He cursed using rather creative language. I just laughed at him, dusted the snow off a low tree brunch and sat down. He was ready in less than two minutes.

"You're so going to get it now!" he said to me and rushed at me, head forwards. I shook my head at his obvious attack. Just as he was about to grab me I sprang at him, blocked his arms as they tried to fight their way to my neck and pulled them behind him. He grunted while trying to set himself free.

"No, no! You're dong it all wrong." I said to him and released him. "You have to remember that your opponent's strength matches yours and even if you're stronger than me right now, I still beat you because the attack was obvious, predictable. The trick in winning a fight is to get acquainted with your surroundings, use them as your advantages. Familiarise with your surroundings. Just because your attacker is hiding doesn't mean that you can't hear or smell him. Outsmart your attacker; remember a direct attack does not always work when your attacker is stronger than you so that's where your quick thinking and creativity comes out. And you must always remember to never be predictable. Now let's do a little exercise. I'm going to hide and attack you at any given moment from any possible angle you can think of, you have to block my attacks. 'Kay?" he nodded. "Remember my advice, grasshopper and you'll be fine." I whispered mysteriously at him and hid swiftly in the shadows.

I saw him inhale from where I was hidden. I climbed up a tree silently and jumped on him. Only the faint whooshing of the wind past my body alerted him that I was above him. We fought, I attacked and he defended himself. He was pretty decent for a newbie. Though he was stronger I was faster. But I must say he was a natural. When I was about to attack him once, he grabbed my arm and twisted it, so I bend my body to prevent him from snapping off my arm. Finally he grabbed me by the waist, lifted me slightly to disable me from hitting him in the crotch and pinned me to the tree with his body, making it impossible for me to move or escape. "Not bad, rookie! You're starting to get the message of how this is done." I complimented him. He smiled and ran a hand through his messy hair and let go of me.

There was just one problem. His body was still pressed to mine and when he let go of my arms and waist I slid down, my crotch bumping directly into his. And there was just one other problem. I was only wearing thin leggings and a tank top. He look of joy on his face from beating me up vanished and was instead replaced with lust. He moaned and pushed harder into me. His mouth went down to my neck where he kissed savagely and then licked. I couldn't help it, my body arched forward on its own. I hadn't had any type of sexual pleasure since Alec and I made love and it seemed like my body missed that. Oh God! That felt really good…

The turn of events reminded me of the time Alec had taught me how to fight. What was it with me and fighting that got men so pumped up? I remembered everything and right now it felt as if I was reliving them. He pulled up my shirt and started kissing me, his tongue rushing eagerly into my mouth. Then he made a trail of kisses down my neck. Alec was here with me, I could have cried with joy.

"Oh, Alec I love you so much." I said as he continued kissing me.

"Alec?" the sound of Daren's voice snapped me out of my little imagination. Everything was wrong. The scent that hung on me now, the place where I was and the guy who had made me feel so aroused. They had nothing to do with Alec. The sense of gloom that took over me felt as if it would break my heart.

"Daren get off of me." I whispered in a broken voice. He stepped back; the lust was slowly fading leaving space for the confusion.

"Who is Ale-? Wait, was he the guy you said you loved?" He asked me, understanding flickering like a lighthouse in the middle of a fog.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Sam, you, you need to let go of him. He was human you could never be together. You saw just how perfect we are together. Sam, I can give you everything if you just ask for it. I can make you happy." Daren said to me. He reached out to take my hand but I cringed away from his touch.

"Alec was not – never mind. Daren, don't you see that this can never work out? You were literally rubbing yourself against me and I thought he was you. In my mind he was the one making me feel like that. You'd just be a replacement Daren." I sighed. "Look, I need some air. I got to go." I said to him and ran with all my might.

I stopped a few miles away.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I shouted at myself. How? How the hell could I let this happen? I should have pushed him the hell off of me not encouraged him. Stupid hormones! Stupid universe! Everything just has to conspire against me!

What would Alec do if he knew what happened? How would he feel? Fuck, had he been here this would have ruined everything. Even though chances where he's never be with me again. I sighed, trying to get the adrenalin out of my system. For ten whole years I had never looked at a man, and now this happens! Why do things have to be so difficult for me?

Daren's POV

What the fuck just happened? One minute I was rubbing against her and she was responding, her body arching towards me and her lips kissing me back and the next she confesses her love to another guy. I was so frustrated. She was heavenly and yet she wasn't mine. I hadn't planned it, I swear. It just happened. And even though I did not like the ending, boy was I grateful that it happened! Thanks, universe. You finally came through for me. Still I couldn't help but feel pissed. I knew it would be useless to go after her right now so I just headed to the Cullen's.

When I arrived there, I sank on the couch next to Emmett who was watching a football game.

"Why so pissed, dude? Wait, what's that I smell?" He asked me turning his attention to me from the television.

"Huh?" I asked him as I was not really paying attention to a word he was saying.

"Dude, why do you have Sam's scent all over you? Have you guys gotten so well after the fight that you hooked up?" He asked me with cocked eyebrows. Just then Jake, Nessie and Rose walked in. "You wouldn't believe what happened even if I told you." I answered him.

"Try us." Nessie said, clearly interested and curious.

"Today I asked Sam to teach me how to fight." I started but was interrupted by a fit of laughter.

"Sam? Fight?" Emmett asked bewildered.

"Yeah, and she can really kick ass. But that's not the point. So after a while I pinned her to a tree. When I let go off her, her body slid and certain parts which I can't mention in front of the ladies made contact. Well, I kissed her and she responded. But then she had to ruin it by confessing her love to some Alec guy who she was apparently thinking of while kissing me." I said. I did have their attention in the start but when I mentioned that Alec guy their eyes widened and they all closed in on me. Who the hell was the guy?

"Are you sure you heard Alec, Daren?" Nessie said as if there was a lump in her throat.

"Yeah, why?" I asked, really curious now.

"But there's got to be more than one Alec in the world, right?" Nessie asked to the bewildered bunch.

"She did say he was her tutor and that he was an okay guy." Emmett said in a very mysterious voice.

"Okay, would someone explain to me who the fuck is this Alec guy?" I shouted at them. They stared at me as if they had momentarily forgotten I was there.

"Darren, Alec is one of the most powerful and hated vampires in the Volturi. Did Sam mention anything about them?" Rose asked me.

"Yeah, she did say she went to live with the Volturi for some time but left." I told her. So Sam liked men with power huh? It surprised me that he was a vampire, let alone that he was powerful. I don't know why but in my mind when I tried to picture the guy all I got was a pervert looking middle aged guy.

"The Volturi are the rulers of the vampire world. They are the protectors of our secret and the peace among our kind. Alec is in the guard. He has the power to mentally paralyse his victims, rendering them unable to escape or attack." Rose continued to explain. The more I heard about him the more I disliked the guy.

"I still can't believe Sam would go for a guy like him. He's just… so sadistic." Emmett muttered.

"Perhaps you're right but does anyone really have control over who their hearts beat for? He's my mate and I love him, there's nothing I can do about it." Sam said from nowhere. I turned around and saw her leaning against the door.

"Mate? You have a mate but you didn't tell me?" Nessie said as she rushed over to Sam. "How could I? You're clearly not his fans." Sam responded in a helpless monotone voice.

"I'm sorry but it's really difficult to imagine you with a guy like… him. But at least that explains why you threw a knife at me." Emmett said. "That's okay Emmett. I understand. But Alec is really different once you get to know him and not the icy façade he puts up all the time. Believe it or not we used to smile all the time when we were together." she said, her voice going soft and tender. I had never seen her show this much emotion and warmth in her voice.

"But, if you don't mind me asking, if he's your mate then why did you leave?" Rose asked her. She suddenly turned uncomfortable. "I don't like to talk about it; it would be easier if I just show you." Sam said. "Everybody give me your hand."

Sam's POV

I showed them the vision about Aro and Alec. They all understood me and even Emmett refrained from making smart ass comments. I told them all about the necklace and the ring. The more I told them the more I felt as if a load was being lifted off my shoulders. It felt as if I was surrounded by a brick war and after so many years of silent suffering, alone, trapped, I could finally bring it down. Now things wouldn't be as hard as they used to be.

Nessie was the most supportive of all. She understood my motives and related to my pain well. She even suggested that I should see what Alec was up to this moment. I was tempted to do so but if I had to be honest with myself, I wasn't ready. She understood without being judgemental. Sometimes she made our story seem like some forbidden romance. She called it tormented love. Yeah, I guess it was.

While I spoke about Alec and me, I realised that without wanting to, a smile slipped on my face. I knew we would end up together, even if the chances were thin. Our love was strong, a never ending flame.

XXX

She finally told them!Thischap deserves a review, right? Comment if you have anysuggestionsor questions, I'd be happy to answer them and of course I'm always up for constructive criticism.

Until the next time, my lovelies 3