AN: Hey, I submitted another thing on my Deviantart. Go check it out. Srsly!1!omg!! o_o
(Link to my account can be found on my profile)

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Title: Moustache?
Characters: Sanji and Chopper
Rating: K+ (it's Chopper, not Sanji, surprisingly)
Summary: Chopper makes a startling discovery about Sanji's genes.
A/N: Did you know it's possible to fall asleep during Gym class? Yes, it's true. I've done it before 8D

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No one minded Chopper's mandatory monthly checkups, considering they would probably all be riddled with disease if he wasn't on the ship. Even though it was a bit odd having a human reindeer poking around places no one else was ever meant to poke, they knew it was for their own good and gratefully thanked Chopper for his troubles, sending him into violent wiggling of happiness.

"Okay Sanji, you're fine. Besides the fact that your lungs are filled with cigarette smoke and gunk." Chopper frowned, tapping Sanji's chest with a little hoof.

"No, I'm not giving up my cigarettes." Sanji said blandly, used to arguing about his smoking habits with the doctor.

"B-But you'll become really ill..." Chopper sniffled, his moist eyes peeking up at Sanji.

"Tell Usopp to stop teaching you how to fake innocence." Sanji said, lighting up a cigarette just to make his point.

"What're you talking about? I-I'm not faking, you bastard!" Chopper said hastily.

"Sure. Whatever you say." Sanji smiled. Chopper hopped off the stool and trotted over to a desk covered with papers. He carefully picked one out from the mess.

"I've made some interesting observations about the gene that controls the curliness of your eyebrow." Chopper said, all-business once again.

"What?"

"I hope you don't mind. I picked a couple hairs from you while you slept." Chopper said. "But I've found a lot of interesting stuff! Did you know that if you grow a moustache, it'll be as curly as your eyebrow?!?"

Sanji shuddered, imagining the marimo bastard calling him 'Tri-Swirl' or something equally unpleasant. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Well..." Chopper shyly rubbed his toe (hoof?) against the tile floor. "I think you should grow a curly moustache! It'd be so cool!"

"No."

"EH? That response is too quick!" Chopper said in shock.

"I'm not growing a moustache. I doubt Nami-swan and Robin-chwan would think it would be sexy." Sanji shook his head.

"But a super curly moustache, Sanji!!" Chopper shook the paper insistently.

"Maybe you should grow your own moustache then." Sanji shot back at him. Chopper thought about this for a second.

"No way! That's the stupidest idea ever!" Chopper grinned, wiggling his arms with joy. "I'm not going to try growing my own moustache! You bastard!"

Sanji took this opportunity to leave the infirmary, leaving Chopper shouting curses after him.

Later that night, Sanji found Chopper in the bathroom shouting "Grow, moustache!" at the mirror.

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AN: Ignore the fact that reindeer probably can't even have facial hair (besides the fur... but that's beside the point).
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.