Dawnstar94 - 'lazy cowgirl American' hahaha that made me laugh! And thanks about this year and the next. You too! Although Tybalt and Rosaline currently don't want kids, I imagine they have some later on in their lives, and I've even thought about some names.
So Juliet and Hermia have also kicked off the campaign to bring down Juliet's bitchy cousin. Time to see what Mercutio thinks of it.
Now that Hermia had her primary evidence, what she needed now was actual proof that Tybalt and Rosaline were an item. She shared her information with Mercutio. Mercutio wasn't hanging around with Romeo and Benvolio all of a sudden, because Romeo was still pining for Rosaline, and Benvolio was still stressing over Rose.
The first time they tried to catch Tybalt and Rosaline in the act had been a failure. Mercutio climbed the drainpipe to Tybalt's room to spy and found him lying on his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, smoking. Tybalt promptly turned around and screamed, and then punched Mercutio through the open window. Hermia nabbed Rosaline's phone and read all of her texts that Tybalt had sent her and was about to forward some of the more lewd ones to Romeo, when she realised that Romeo wouldn't recognise the number and there wouldn't be any proof that Tybalt had sent them to Rosaline, who'd then sent them to him. Mercutio used his mum's credit card to order a video camera, and Hermia tried to plant it in Tybalt's wardrobe, but he caught her, picked her up upside down and shook her until she was sick.
"This sucks" complained Hermia as they meandered along the lunch queue "Rose and Benvolio are falling apart, Tybalt and Rosaline are going from strength to strength, Rosaline's reputation is perfectly intact, Sister Agnes thinks she's a little angel, and most annoyingly, Romeo still wants Rosaline!"
"Look on the plus side. Your cast is coming off soon!" said Mercutio.
"True. I bet I'll have a tan line, and I bet I'll miss seeing your delightful...artwork, shall we call it?"
"What? I like drawing nude people. They have boobies!" shouted Mercutio across the cafeteria. An awkward silence filled the room. He grinned "Carry on"
Then he turned back to Hermia to continue talking.
"I hate it when Romeo falls in love. Benvolio's not so bad. He's only had one girlfriend, but Romeo? Urgh. I hate, hate, hate it! It's all he talks about. If I hear, Rosaline this or Rosaline that again, I am going to scream. It's driving me nuts"
"I know, I know" sighed Hermia "He just...he doesn't get...she's just so...fake!"
She stamped her foot, and grabbed a chicken wrap from a booth. Mercutio grabbed a plate of fries and a bowl of macaroni.
"She pushed me down the stairs" Hermia went on "And one minute she's all, 'Yes, Mr. Bastian, of course I'll take A Levels maths, Mr. Bastian' when she looks down her nose at everyone in the class, or 'Yes, Sister Agnes, of course I'll stay chaste, Sister Agnes' when she's fucking Tybalt, and yes, I know she is. Ugh! I hate her! She's a stupid whore obsessed with clothes and make-up and all that other shallow shit that girls like!"
"Let it out, Hermia. Let it out" said Lysander, joining them as they grabbed muffins.
"The more I think about her, the more I want to hurt her. If only my arm wasn't broken, I could rejoin the girls' rugby team and slam her to the ground with a super tackle"
"Yeah!" encouraged Mercutio, as they paid "I miss watching you strut your stuff on the pitch"
"She looks hot in her shorts, doesn't she?" purred Lysander in her ear. Hermia kissed him on the cheek.
"Sisters don't look hot to me" replied Mercutio, dumping his tray on their usual table.
"Cool older guy cousins who are like brothers that I've never had don't look hot to me either" Hermia added.
"What's Tybalt – the next door neighbour?"
"I wish" muttered Hermia.
"No, you don't. Because he actually is my next door neighbour" interrupted Charles, leaning from down the other end of the table.
"I feel for you, my friend" said Mercutio.
"I need a medal. All night long, I hear them. Him and Rosaline. Moaning, the bed banging against the wall, they're like animals! It's cringey. And I see them too. Through my bedroom window. All day and all night. It's disgusting!"
"Hang on" said Hermia suddenly "Did you just say you saw Tybalt and Rosaline together all day and all night long through your window?"
"Yeah" replied Charles "It's awful, they're like alley cats!"
"Charles" smiled Mercutio "I love you"
"Hang on, are you coming out?" asked Hermia.
"No" Mercutio smiled some more "Charles, I love you, because you, my friend, you, are going to help us catch them at it!"
"Who – Tybalt and Rosaline?"
"Yes! Tybalt and Rosaline. What angle is your room from? How loud are they? Tell me, and I'll take care of the rest" Mercutio leant. He pulled out a scrap of paper, and Hermia bent over as well.
"Well, our rooms are adjacent, there's about a three metre gap between our houses, so I can see everything. And hear everything, even if he doesn't have the window open. Oh, and I've seen him with no clothes on before, so if your plan to catch them both doesn't work, you may get some blackmailing material anyway"
"Ew" breathed Mercutio. But then he sat up, and smiled at their friends "Who's with me? Who's going to help us ruin Rosaline's reputation, expose them to the whole of Verona, and give Romeo a much needed wake up call?"
"Aye!" yelled Hermia, raising her casted arm.
"Aye!" yelled the rest of the boys.