Explanation/Disclaimer: Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?

Quickie 35: Game Over

"Alright Pikachu!" Ash yelled, "Send them flying with a Thunder Attack!"

Pikachu leapt up in the air and sent out a huge blast of electricity striking Team Rocket sending them flying off into the horizon.

Jessie: "I can't believe we lost again!"

James: "I can't believe we never win!"

Meowth: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"

All: "We're b lasting off againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…"

"Nice job Pikachu." Ash said, "It was a close one that time."

ANNOUNCER: "Today I guess we join our heroes a little late, because it looks like Team Rocket has already been sent packing. I can't help but wonder what events took place to lead up into this epic confrontation?"

"We're not doing a flashback." Ash said to the disembodied voice.

ANNOUNCER: "You're… you're not?"

"No…, whenever we do a flashback I get a wicked case of jetlag." Ash said, "Besides, what's to tell? Team Rocket came disguised to steal Pikachu. We fought. We won. Same plot we've seen over and over…"

Misty: "And over…"

Brock: "And over…"

May: "And over…"

Max: "And over…"

And the kid naming all his dogs, "…and Rover…"

And the drunk staggering out of the bar, "Hang over…"

A man pointing down to a green plant, "A clover"

And the big guy trying to push Tracey over a barrel, "Ben Dover…"

"Well," Ash said, "I think our point is clear."

ANNOUNCER: "No Flashback?"

"No Flashback." Ash replied.

After a moments silence, Misty asked, "Is he gone?"

"I think so." Brock said, "Creepy mystery voice following us around all over the place. Just not right I tells ya."

"So, what are we going to do for the rest of the day?" May asked.

"Well, I'm going to go to the game store and try out the newest video games." Ash said.

"Cool," Max said, "I'll come."

"Bleh," May said, "Typical boys, I'm going to go to the mall and see what's going on there."

"Didn't we already do mall jokes?" Misty asked.

"Yea, its terrible when a joke gets tired and repetitive." Brock said.

Ash chuckled, not listening to the other conversation, deep in regaling Max with a long past adventure, "And so, it turns out that Articuno just started giving out ice cream! And that's what I call a sticky situation."

Misty May and Brock groaned loudly. (Along with just about everyone else.)

"Well, I don't care, I want to go to the mall, and I hear there's a really good one in this town." May said.

"Fine," Misty said, "I'll come with you, what about you Brock? You coming with us or are you going with Ash?

"Neither." Brock explained, "I'm going to go check out Nurse Joy over at the pokemon center."

"Well, I have my cell phone with me, so you can call that when you get arrested." May said making sure her phone was still charged.

"Will do!" Brock said cheerfully waving as he walked off towards the Pokemon Center.

After a minute everyone had parted ways. Leaving Pikachu and Togepi alone in the square. After a minute Pikachu leaned over the to infant pokemon and asked with a slightly wicked grin, "Pika, chu pika chu chu?" (Hey kid, wanna see a dead body?)

ASH & MAX

"Check this place out!" Max said excitedly looking around, "This video game shop is huge!"

"And what's best, look at all the free samples you can play!" Ash said walking over to the nearest console, and picked up a control and started to play, "Oh man! Check this out!"

"What is it?" Max asked.

"It's the newest fighting game, Immortal Kombat." Ash said, "You fight as one of 10 immortals in a major tournament, IGN has been saying it's the must have, pre-order it now, hit of the season… of course that was until it came out, then they gave it a 5.3 out 10 rating…"

"Why so low?" Max asked.

"Well watch," Ash said playing the game a bit. Ash's warrior ran forward and launched a barrage of blows, finishing off the combo with sword slash. The CPU quickly countered by jabbing its dagger into Ash's character's stomach 10 times then roundhouse kicked him away.

However, despite all these moves, neither energy bar dropped at all. "See? Everyone wanted to play as real immortals… so you can't really hurt one another.."

Max scratched his head, "So how do you win?"

"You basically keep playing until the other guy just gives up and quits, and you declare victory by forfeit." Ash explained.

"That's a pretty lame game." Max said.

"Yea," Ash agreed, "But damn, look at those sweet graphics, it does look pretty. I think I might get a copy."

Max grabbed Ash's arm dragging him away, "Alright, let's go look at something else before you go and spend all our money on some useless junk… AGAIN!"

SCENE CHANGE TO A FLASHBACK TO EVERYONE SITTING IN A RICKETY CABIN

"I can't believe you wasted our money like that!" Misty yelled at Ash.

Ash looked abashed and said, "But, the wandering salesman said that it was a good buy."

"Come on Ash!" May yelled, "How stupid could you be, I mean, magic beans? Who would fall for something like that."

"Completely irresponsible!" Brock chastised.

Suddenly Max, who was looking out the window, spoke up, "Uh, guys… before you keep yelling at Ash, look at this…"

Max pointed at a huge beanstalk that had grown from a single bean that Ash had dropped earlier.

"Wow, sorry Ash," Misty said, "That's amazing… so where are the other beans?"

Suddenly a horrible rumble came from Brock's direction, who clenched at his stomach. Everyone stared at Brock who shrugged said, "I was hungry…" Then after another loud rumble, Brock groaned and walked to the bathroom and moaned, "Ohhhhhh this is going to be a long night.."

SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY AND TO…

"COOL!" Max said checking out a nearby display case, "The newest Megaman Battle Networks is coming out. And this time there's three different colors: Black, White, and Yellow!"

Ash groaned, "Yeah, but they're all the same game! I think it's a total rip off when a game maker will release identical copies of the same game, with just one or two very slight differences in them, to get people to want to buy the whole set… I mean come on… who's gonna want them all? It's a complete… …"

Ash's face slowly changed as he realizes something and then quickly adds in, "But… that's only the case with Megaman… you really can't use my argument with other games… because that would be like comparing fire with leaves… and… and… aw.. Crap.. I'm going to get beaten again by the Nintendo executives, aren't I?"

Max sighed, "Beaten if your lucky… look at what they did to Sonic… he got a little out of line and SNAP! Two broken legs later, and he's replaced by Shadow the Hedgehog. But don't worry… I mean you always have Pikachu… he'd help you out?"

"Pikachu?" Ash asked surprised, "Are you kidding me? Pikachu would stab me in the back in a heartbeat!"

"Get out of here…" Max said surprised.

"No fooling," Ash explained, "He may act all cute and sweet, but that's all fake. Deep down, he's a ruthless bastard who will do whatever he has to to stay powerful in the business."

Max looked at Ash skeptically.

"Don't believe me?" Ash asked, "Well… remember the first season? Brock got more screen time then Pikachu did, and so Pikachu started to spread rumors that Brock was a member of Alcada. Brock was quickly taken away by INS, and we had to replace him with Tracy until we could convince the government that Brock had no terrorist ties. Meanwhile… who took center stage? Pikachu."

"Wow…" Max said, then shook his head slightly and said, "Wait a sec… is ANYTHING you told me true?"

"Nope." Ash said nonchalantly looking at the back of a video game cover, "Basically it was all a lie. In fact, everything I say to you is a lie… including this statement that I'm making now… so figure that out."

Max thought about this for a second and said completely confused, "no… wait… …what?"

But Ash, already bored with screwing with little Max's mind, had walked over to another display case, "Oooooo…" Ash said, "Check it out, retro games! Very cool."

Max walked over and watched Ash play Ka-Boom! For a few moments, then sighed and said, "What's the big deal?"

Ash in surprise dropped the controller. "What do you mean?" Ash asked shocked.

"Well come on," Max said, "Everyone is so big into retro gaming today, going 'old school', if you will… but what's the big deal? These games have poor graphics, simple gameplay, no Easter Eggs, virtually no story, and sluggish controls. So what's the appeal?"

Ash sighed heavily, and muttered, "Damn kids today… You know, the problem with you kids today is that you haven't earned your high graphic video games. Look at me for example. First I had low quality graphic Atari games… which were so much fun to play. Then I moved on to more complicated Nintendo games.. And then to Super Nintendo… and finally now all the way up to Playstation 2... But you… you just start out with these suped up systems and you have no appreciation for the subtle joy in playing the lower in graphic, but superior in gameplay retro games. You can take just about any game from back then and put it up with modern games like Halo… and the retro game will be richer, more soulful, and yes… more fun.

Ash stopped talking and wiped a tear out of his eye. Then he stepped off the soapbox that he happened to standing on.

"Where'd you get the soapbox?" Max asked confused.

"Max… this is a indy video game shop… there's PLENTY of soapboxes around for everyone." Ash explained.

Max shrugged and said, "So wait… your saying older games are better then newer games, is that right?"

"Yep." Ash said nodding.

"Then explain E.T. for Atari 2600 then…" Max said glaring.

"Um…" Ash said flushing a bit, then quickly looked around and said, "HEY! Is that a new Mario game?"

The two walked over to a nearby display where a kid around Ash's age was dancing on a mat to the rhythm to make Mario on the screen dance. Ash scoffed a bit.

"NOW what's the problem?" Max asked.

"Well come on… this is horrible… I hate when a company exploits well known characters from their franchise in games that they have no business being in. I mean… what does Mario have to do with Dancing? What does Megaman know about Soccer?"

Max sneezed, but it sounded suspiciously like, "puzzle league."

Ash raised an eye in Max's direction, "looks like someone else will get that beating with me… but seriously… doesn't it bother you to see characters out of place like that? I mean, you have Jill Valentine and Shrek in fighting games, Ryu and Ken playing a rip-off of Tetris, and Pac-Man playing party games with Mr. Miyagi on 'roids from Tekken."

Max made a face and said, "Well… I guess your right about that one… I mean, remember the horrible cameo in Grand Theft Auto?"

SCENE CHANGE TO GRAND THEFT AUTO…

Toni Cipriani is seen in his car, which is parked by the river. The car starts to shake back and forth, and lots of moans emanate from the auto. After a minute, we hear Tony say, "Alright, here's your money, now get out."

A moment later we see a bright yellow ball with a red bow on top slide out of the car and starts to walk away with a slight "waka waka waka waka" noise.

Toni quickly gets out of the car and beats Mrs. Pacman with a bat until she spins around and disappears. "Damnit" Toni muttered, going through the valuables that the former video game star left behind, "The bitch didn't have any money… she just had a cherry, an orange and two keys…"

SCENE CHANGE BACK TO THE MAIN STORY…

"I actually liked that cameo." Ash admitted.

Max sighed, "Well, we really should get back."

"Yea," Ash said, opening the door and letting Max go through, then followed the youngster. "You know, I almost picked up that new Sim game."

"Which one?" Max asked.

"Sim-Professor." Ash explained, "You basically play the role of Professor Oak and you have to run your lab smoothly, taking care of all the pokemon there. You have to balance the budget, feed the animals, expand your grounds and build new areas for all the pokemon you have to take care of it… it got great reviews."

"Ha!" Max said, "you wouldn't last 10 minutes in that game."

"Hey!" Ash said annoyed, "What makes you say that?"

"Face it, your not exactly Mr. Responsible." Max explained.

"And what do you mean by that?" Ash asked annoyed.

"Oh come on…" Max snapped back, "Remember when Misty and her Corolla?

"Oh…" Ash said quietly.

SCENE CHANGE TO THREE MONTHS AGO…

"Hey Misty," Ash said noticing Misty heading over to the phone, "Who ya gonna call?"

"Oh," Misty said, "I just wanted to give Professor Oak a call and see how my cute little Corolla is doing."

Ash frowned and said, "Come on Misty… I know it's a painful memory, but you have to face reality. Your Corolla was stolen and sold into Russian Pokemon Slave Market, and you know the police said you'd probably never see it back alive again. I know its painful Misty, but it happened over five months ago… you have to move on…"

Misty gave Ash a horrified face. Ash looked confused then a thought occurred to him, "Um… I DID give you that message Professor Oak sent me about that… right? Uh oh…"

THE END

"You know," Max said, "I don't think that ending works too well… because if that really did happen 3 months ago, you wouldn't be alive now to be in this episode."

"That, my young friend," Ash explained, "Is what we call a 'plot-hole'. It's the life blood and back bone of anime."

"Really?" Max said, "I thought the backbone of our industry was short school girl shirts."

"Well… that too." Ash agreed, "Oh! And Chibis… gotta love Chibis."

"Yea…" Max agreed, "they should do a show with nothing but Chibis… that'd rock."

"They can't," Ash explained, "Not enough Chibis left now a days to do a show with nothing but Chibis… only a handful of true Chibis are left since the great Chibi plague of '96." Ash sniffed sadly a bit, "It was so horrible… there were dead Chibis everywhere… the streets were littered with adorable little corpses. So sad… but hey, you know the saying about God closing a door and opening a window, it was around that time we found that Chibis were not only delicious, but also low in fat and calories… and we had to do SOMETHING with all those cute little cadavers…"

"Your serious?" Max asked shocked.

"Mmmm." Ash said drooling, "No one could roast a Chibi like my mother… she'd only use the cutest school girl chibis from shows like Azumanga Daioh, and cram every opening they had with an acorn stuffing."

Max took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "This is one of those, 'I always lie' moments that you warned me about before, isn't it?"

Ash shrugged.

Max sighed, "Well… as long as your talking about stuffing, why don't you wish all our loyal readers a happy Thanksgiving?"

"Good idea!" Ash said, "I'd hate for them to think that we were a bunch of turkeys!"

Max groaned, "Don't start… we don't have time for puns. This episode is over."

"Yea, and anything the readers get now is gravy."

Max glared, "Your sick, you know that?"

"Hey… I yam what I yam." Ash said folding his arms.

Max sighed, "Ash… is there ANYTHING I can say that you wont be able to turn around into a Thanksgiving pun?"

Ash silently shook his head no, "I'm afraid not… dun bun can't be undone… once it starts it can't be stopped."

"What if I tried to talk about science?" Max asked desperately.

"I'd start talking about the mathematical formula you need to figure out the radius of a Thanksgiving dessert and then conclude you'd need to use 'pumpkin pi'."

Max sighed again.

"What if I talked about movies?" Max asked.

"Then I would say, did you hear about Rowan Atkinson is very jealous about not getting enough screen time for his famous character? So much so that he's starting his own movie… right now we have a Green Bean Cast A Role" going on right now." Ash explained.

Max glared at Ash for a moment and then walked away without saying a word.

"Well," Ash said, "If I knew that's all I had to do to get rid of him, I would have started this quickie off WITH puns. But I'd like to take a chance to wish everyone a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving, from all of us here at Pokemon Quickies, to all of you. Happy Thanksgiving. We hope you all have something to be thankful for…and something we here at Pokemon Quickies are thankful for are our loyal readers… cough especially those who review cough and REALLY those who buy us X-Box 360's… COUGH COUGH well… Happy Thanksgiving."

THE REAL END

And that's that. I thought I'd do a video game themed one in honor of X-Box 360's release, with a hint of Thanksgiving wishes to all my readers. I hope everyone who celebrates it has a great time. And for those who don't… well… still have a good day. Thanks again for reading and enjoy the start of the holidays.