Warnings: Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

Pairings: AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and I don't own these characters, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

Roxas

"Uhh... Axel, come on, wake up..."

"Don't want to." He was still holding me tightly, so I couldn't even have got up if I'd wanted to.

"Axel, it's ten in the morning. We're really late for school."

"Fuck school," he responded blearily, still holding me, still half-asleep. "Let's just sleep some more."

"Axel –"

"Nobody's gonna miss us today, Roxie." He kissed the back of my neck, shifting slightly so he was less on top of me and more spooning me. "Megan will see to that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, sighing and snuggling into him more, closing my eyes again. Warm and content and bruised from sex, I couldn't really see the appeal in going to school, but one of us had to at least pretend to make an effort.

"I mean, your brother stayed over at Xigbar's last night, remember? Meggy'll be throwing her weight around all day to take the spotlight off Demyx. So nobody's going to notice the absence of a redhead and a little blonde, right? They'll all be too busy stopping her from destroying the whole school."

I thought this through, my tired mind whimpering with the strain of it. "Yeah, I guess. She wouldn't destroy the whole school, right?"

"Of course not," Axel said warmly, his hands on my waist, warmth spreading through me from his fingers. "You get back to sleep, Roxie. Everything will be okay."

I drifted back into sleep, waking up again at midday to Axel groping me, clearly not caring that I was asleep and this could count as him taking advantage of me. "Axel... Axel, you shouldn't... we shouldn't... I'm hungry."

He chuckled. "Aw, poor lickle Roxie skipped breakfast. C'mon, then, let's go and get some food. Hopefully my parents'll be at work, and if we're super lucky, my grandma will be at yoga. And then we can..."

"No." I peeled myself away from him. "I'm too tired, Axel. Can't it wait until –"

"Boys, are you awake?" Axel groaned and grabbed me again, yanking the duvet over me and himself. "I think they're still asleep, Ella."

"I would be too, after all the banging and screaming last night." How could Axel not be blushing? I was blushing like crazy, and I don't even blush very often. "Honestly, for such a little thing –"

"Ella, that's enough. Roxas isn't even that small." Axel was smirking at me and I had to fight the urge to kick him in the balls. "Let's go back downstairs, we don't want to wake them."

I nearly just got up and killed myself when I heard Axel's dad chip in with, "I would send them to school. Serves them right for choosing to do it on a schoolnight, really. And if their friends laugh at them, well, that'll build character."

"Oh, hush." Axel's mother was really, really nice, even if she did make quite a few really, really inappropriate comments from time to time. Angie was worse. "Roxas clearly needs some time off, you heard what Axel was saying about his older brother. Now, let's go downstairs and make some food, if they're hungry then they'll come down..."

I sat bolt upright. "You told them about Demyx?" I hissed, my eyes narrowing.

"Yeah... why?"

I scowled. "How much did you tell them about Demyx?"

Axel sat up slowly as well, resting a hand on my knee like he could distract me that easily. "Not much, Roxie, I promise. Just that sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed and you have to help Meggy with it. That's all."

"Axel, you idiot, do you even realise how important it is that stuff like that is kept quiet? If the wrong person gets wind of stuff like that, the three of us are off to new families before you can say "adoption agency". You're an idiot."

He leaned forwards and kissed me slowly, like he was still trying to memorise the taste of my mouth. "Yeah, but I'm your idiot, Roxie, and you love me."

"I'm sure normal relationships aren't like this," I muttered, more to myself than to Axel. "I'm sure most people don't live in fear of being groped in their sleep and going five rounds more than they want to and..."

He grinned at me. It was a pretty sexy grin, I must admit. "Okay , then, do you want to go watch a movie or something tonight?"

I groaned. "You in a movie theatre? Surrounded by other people, including old people and children? Fuck no."

"Aw, come on. I'd keep my hands to myself, I swear."

"If you didn't, you wouldn't get any for a year, you realise. I'm not having you scarring little kids for life, got it?"

"Yeah, got it memorised," he said almost boredly, before leaning in to kiss my lips. "Roxas, you are so hot..."

"Even hotter because of you," I pointed out dryly, holding a hand to Axel's forehead like I was checking for a fever. Really, it was just a case of making sure that he wasn't going to burn me too badly and end up sending me to hospital. That would be mortifying. Megan would never let me live it down.

Speaking of Megan...

"Axel? You think Megan'll be okay? She's looking worse and worse every day, and if Dem was at Xigbar's last night," (those words were still oddly bitter in my mouth, and I was starting to admit to myself that I resented not being told things like this) "she'll be super aggressive, right?"

"Yeah..." Axel said thoughtfully, making an obvious effort not to say the wrong thing to me, knowing my reputation as a very angry short person. "Well, the thing about Xigbar and Demyx, Rox, is that in a few months Dem will be eighteen, and if he wanted to –"

"No. He doesn't even know how to... no, Axel, he couldn't."

Axel pulled a face. "Sometimes I think Meggy knows everything, you know, but then sometimes I wonder what the fuck she thinks she's doing."

I nodded. "You wanna get something to eat?"

We went down into the kitchen, and Axel's parents and grandma mysteriously disappeared off into the living room, Angie whispering very loudly about "leaving them to enjoy the afterglow". If bruises and soreness and stickiness counted as an afterglow, then yeah, we were loving it. Actually, okay, I won't lie, I felt great, and if the grin on Axel's face was any indication, he felt great too.

"I love you, you know. I know it's weird and everything, how fast we're going, but... I actually... I feel certain with you, you know?" I broke off awkwardly, my heart hammering in my chest. "Like... like, I know that we're..."

"That we're gonna last, yeah. I love you too, so, so much," Axel said quietly, running his fingers gently through my hair, my lips tilting upwards into a sleepy, content smile. "You're beautiful."

He pressed his lips to my forehead and then resumed eating the entire contents of the kitchen, probably hungry after fucking me a lot, and I suppose making love to me as well if you count them as two separate things.

Somehow, things just seemed better when I was with Axel.

Demyx

I skipped class for the very first time when Xiggy decided to show me the staffroom and we found ourselves a corner that was almost entirely hidden by the fridge and the potted plant, and we hung out for two periods with my arms around his neck and his hands on my hips, kissing sometimes but mostly talking about my big plan.

My big plan, which Xigbar really wanted to help me with. Even though he couldn't even afford a nice apartment for himself, let alone anything that Megan and Roxas and I wanted to live in. It was really sweet of him, but I would've felt guilty accepting anything from him, and Meg would probably refuse all offers of help straight away.

"Demyx..." he said quietly, as we listened to Marluxia making himself some toast. I doubt Marly would have said anything, but Xigbar had told me that if he accidentally let something slip to Vexen, we could both get in trouble and not be allowed to see each other again. Which was not something that either of us wanted. "What happens if Roxas makes a fuss?"

I had found out earlier that Naminé, Olette and Pence had bullied Axel into telling Roxas that I was sort of dating Xigbar as well as Zexion. I couldn't really imagine him taking that well, but I also don't think that he would be mean about it with me so fragile and weak (or so I wanted him to believe, just while the metaphorical dust settled) and besides, he trusted Megan, and if Megan said it was okay, that was that.

I hope.

"Well, I guess he'll just have to live with it. I put up with Axel, and he's... well, he's okay... I'm sorta scared of him." Xigbar kissed me again – he was doing a lot of that, probably just glad that the barrier was broken now – and pulled away slowly, looking at me with all the care in the world, I think because he was still afraid that he would go too far. It made a nice change from Zexion shoving me against walls and doing God-knows-what with his hands and my jeans, I have to say.

It's weird because with Zexy I feel wanted, and with Xiggy I feel cared for.

Xigbar looked at me steadily. "Why're you scared of Axel?" he asked, an edge to his voice that gave me flashbacks to both Megan and Roxas, especially when a-certain-person had broken up with me and everyone I knew wanted his blood.

"I don't know, really," I said slowly. "He looks weird. And he's loud, and he can play with fire..."

"You know, you and Megan and Axel aren't the only people who can play with things." I just blinked, mildly confused. Was he talking about himself? Did he have an element too? "I can play with space; watch."

He stuck his arm out directly to the side, and half of it disappeared, all the way up to his elbow just vanishing into a hungry nothingness. I stared, transfixed, at the half an arm that was still where it should be, jumping out of my skin and almost screaming when I felt a hand on my back.

Xigbar grinned at me. "Are you ticklish back here, DemDem?" The hand at my back started to move up and down, and I tucked my face into his shoulder before I let myself laugh, half-bewildered and half-amused, with shades of "I hope we don't get caught, I hope we don't get caught...". "What d'you think?"

I took a deep breath. "It's... it's not as cool as using water." I pressed my lips to his before he could argue, noticing that the hand that shouldn't have been behind me was scratching me between the shoulder blades, like I was some kind of cat, and making me shudder with pleasure, my arms wrapping tighter around his neck.

"Demyx..." he whispered as we broke apart. "Fuck, I love you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I teased, smiling slyly. "Still, I love you too. And I promise I won't leave you just because my little brother thinks you're too old for me."

He grinned at me, and I noticed the way his mouth curved in the corner, not to mention the scar that I loved. "Demyx... fuck, I just... damn."

I swallowed. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he said, his grin spreading even wider as the hand behind me slipped to my lower back. "I have to say, I hate Zexion, but I can't really blame him..."

"Blame him for what?" I asked, blinking.

Xigbar chuckled. "What's the main thing that Zexion does when you're with him, Dem?"

"Um... weird stuff. He kisses my neck a lot..." I wasn't really sure how much to tell the guy who was, essentially, my second boyfriend. "He tries to take my clothes off and stuff, it's weird."

Xigbar kissed me again, softer this time. "Yeah, well. I hate him for it, you know, but... I can understand it."

"Understand it? Could you explain it to me? I don't get it. I mean, some of it feels good, especially when he kisses me right here," I pointed to that one spot on my collarbone that gave me tingles all over the place, "but some of it is just bizarre."

Xigbar looked at the point I'd just indicated on my collarbone. "Hm..." He pulled down the neck of my shirt – well, actually, it was his own shirt – and ducked down towards the skin, hovering just above my neck. "You okay with this, Dem?"

"Yeah. Put your arm back where it should be, though, it's starting to creep me out." He retracted his arm, latching his mouth onto my collarbone and doing the weirdest things, making me whine and cling to him, trying to ignore all the weird tingling and heat rising in my face, and flooding into my stomach, and lower than my stomach which I didn't understand, but whatever.

"Xigbar? You in here?" I froze and he pulled away from me, slowly, looking over his shoulder. "Xigbar?"

He stepped out from behind the plant, giving me a classically Megan-esque "Stay right there or you're in huge trouble" look before talking to someone. I think Xaldin.

Eventually I was persuaded back to class by Xigbar, who was really reluctant to let me go, but who knew that if I was missing for too long, people would start asking questions.

They actually asked questions anyway. Carly and Gemma were especially curious about the small red mark on my neck, which they insisted must have been from Zexion, but which in actual fact was self-inflicted.

"Demyx." I turned around to see Ella tipping her chair back in the row behind me. "Nice shirt."

I felt myself go pink, knowing that it was Xigbar's shirt, and thinking maybe she knew... "Thanks, Ella."

"You know, Zexion still hasn't decided whether or not he's going to Traverse." Ella was looking at me steadily, like a calmer Megan or a more forceful Naminé. "You mean the world to him."

I smiled. "He means the world to me, too."

She leaned forwards over her desk and grinned. "I know he does, Dem. Look after him, yeah?"

I nodded, pleased that I'd managed to say the right thing (for a change), and turned back to face the front (not that this particular teacher actually noticed either way) for the rest of the lesson, the only thing breaking my concentration being the frantic whispering between Carly and Gemma, who were still convinced that Zexion had bitten my neck for no real reason. Probably because he's such a big Twilight fan.

The bell rang and I escaped to lunch, bracing myself for the yelling, pushing, lack of air and abundance of people that was the cafeteria. Given my way, I'd never set foot in this horrible place, ever, at all, but I had to get food.

Breathing through my nose, clenching my fists and grinding my teeth, I bought some food and found myself an empty table, jumping halfway out of my skin when someone landed in the seat next to me, huffing and scowling and stabbing his lunch with a fork more viciously than was really needed.

"I have had such a shit morning," Zexion fumed. "Fucking girls pestering me about you, fucking Vexen dropping fucking hints about fucking Xigbar, fucking assignment overdue..."

I just watched as he subsided into angry muttering and massacring his chicken, wondering how much of this would be my fault, and how much worse I could make this. "Zexion? Do you... do you want me to leave?"

"No, Demyx, it's okay." He really didn't sound like it was okay. Still, I moved a little closer to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry for spinning out at you..."

"It's okay, Zexy." I kissed the side of his head and he turned, kissing me back rather aggressively, his hands straying to my lower back and attempting to slide further down, but I caught his wrists, trying to giggle light heartedly and mask the confusion I was faced with. "You feel better yet?" I asked against his mouth, smiling at his smile.

"A little, yeah." He put an arm around me and went back to eating, a smile still on his face.

"Hey, Dem." Naminé sat down opposite me. "Have you seen Meg anywhere?"

I shook my head. "I guess she'd be with Marly if she isn't in here."

"Oh, okay. By the way, Xigbar said he'd come find you if he gets a chance." I swallowed, feeling Zexion stiffen next to me. "I'm off to find Marly and Meg. I'll see you around, yeah?"

I nodded slowly, trying not to think too hard about the idea of Xigbar and Zexion having a conversation. They wouldn't, anyway. If Xigbar showed up, Zexion would probably leave. And they wouldn't fight over me, anyway. They were both mature, and caring, and if they were really gonna fight, they wouldn't do it in front of me. Hopefully.

"I hate him." I looked at him. "I hate him, Demyx, I'm sick of hearing about him and having him glaring at me in every English lesson and treating me like I'm filth just because I'm in love with you, and it isn't my fault..."

"Don't." I took a deep breath. "I know that you hate him, okay? He hates you too." Okay, maybe not the most helpful thing to say, but... "What matters is that I love you, and I don't want you fighting with him, okay? Please?"

Zexion sighed. "I just... I hate seeing you with him, because I know that you love him, and I'm scared that you'll leave me for him..." I cut him off with a quick kiss. "Sorry, I just..."

"Don't you worry about it. Just cheer up, right?" I spotted tears in his gorgeous eyes and frowned. "Zexion?"

"I'm okay. I'm just a horrible, jealous mess." He sniffed. "Sorry, babe."

"It's okay, really. It's normal to get jealous and stuff. At least you don't set people on fire like some people I could mention." Zexion smiled weakly. "Now, are you gonna eat your lunch on your own or do I need to feed you?"

"It'd be really cute if you fed me," he said. I sighed and started feeding him, missing his mouth about five times because my hand-eye coordination was never the best, and the horribly crowded cafeteria didn't help much.

I had just finished shovelling chicken into his mouth, wondering whose idea this was and why it was meant to be so romantic, when someone slid into the seat on the other side of me, paying absolutely no attention to Zexion whatsoever, and kissed my left cheek. "Hey."

"Hi, Xiggy." I took a deep breath. "You okay?"

He nodded, watching me settle into my seat so I was facing Zexion a little less, just so that nobody started bickering about who I was closer to. "How are you, gorgeous?"

"He's great, I've been taking great care of him." Zexion grabbed my hand and gave Xigbar a nice, pleasant death glare. "Right, Dem?"

"Yeah." I picked up my chocolate brownie and started cramming into my mouth to avoid conversation.

Xigbar took one look at me and immediately stopped glaring at Zexion. "DemDem? Are you okay?"

I nodded, mouth full of brownie, and fought hard to stop shaking, but to no avail. Now even Zexion looked worried. "'M fine," I said thickly through the sticky, chocolatey mess in my mouth.

"No, you aren't, Demyx," Zexion said sharply. "I can feel you shaking. Do you need to go to the nurse or something?"

I shook my head. "Just crowded and stuff. 'M okay." I swallowed my last mouthful of sugar and fat and screwed the wrapper up in one hand.

"You know, Demyx, my shirt looks really good on you." I felt myself going pink and out of the corner of my eye saw Zexion raising one eyebrow, clearly not a happy bunny. (I don't think Zexion has ever been a bunny of any kind, least of all a happy one, but still.) "It's too big, though."

Zexion was completely silent, his hand painfully tight around mine, and I was flooded by fear.

"Um... yeah, thanks for lending it to me." I kept my eyes on the table. "Uh..."

"Demyx." I really tried not to look at Zexion, but my eyes flitted to his anyway. "Could you leave for a sec, babe? I want to talk to Xigbar."

I pulled my fingers out of his. "I don't want you to fight, guys. I love you both. Will you be okay if I leave?"

"Yeah, promise." Xigbar kissed my softly on the side of my head. "We aren't gonna do anything that'd upset you, right?"

"Yeah." Zexion was actually agreeing with Xigbar. Wow, this was so weird. "It'll be fine, Dem. I promise." He kissed me too, my cheekbone, and put a hand on my lower back. "Go on, babe, we just need to talk."

I knew that they were gonna start arguing, really, but I left anyway.

I started wandering around school, turning corner after corner and thinking about everything except the conversation that Xigbar and Zexion were probably having right now. I thought about Bowie and the adventures that she might be on right now. I thought about Axel and Roxas and what their wedding was going to be like. (Once, I was really upset, and Naminé sat me down and started to talk to me about how I was going to be the best man and Megan was going to be a bridesmaid and have to wear a dress, and there would be flowers and music and cake and everything. That was really fun to think about.) I thought about chocolate. I thought about sheet music. I thought about literally everything that bubbled to the surface of my mind. Everything but the two maybe-sorta-boyfriends I had left behind in the noisy, awful cafeteria.

"But... but I can't..."

I stopped, and looked into the corner of the corridor. Larxene was sitting curled up on the floor, her phone pressed to her face. She was crying. After all the times I've seen her foaming at the mouth with rage, kicking things, throwing things, and generally making a fuss, I could understand that she needed to show a little weakness now and then. She really was a lot like Megan. I hovered in front of her, but she ignored me, muttering to the person on the other end of the phone. After about three minutes, she hung up and looked at me, face screwed up and tears staining her face. "D-Demyx... fuck off."

"No." I sat down on the floor next to her and smiled. "You have really nice eyes, Larxene."

She scowled. "Fuck off, Demyx."

"No. Look, Larxene, I think you have some problems in your life, right? But you need to look on the bright side. Like, you have really nice eyes, and you're gonna have a really pretty baby, and –"

"The baby is my problem. I don't think I can be a mother." She took a deep, shaky breath. "But thanks, you weird little fag child."

"Larxene? Are you straight?" I asked gently, completely out of the blue, but because I'd been wondering for a long time about this. "I mean, I know that's really random, but..."

"Nah, it's okay. I think I'm gay, yeah. Which is why I can actually get away with calling you a fag." She grinned at me, eyes still bloodshot and shiny with tears. "You know, nobody really asks me questions about myself like that. They just think, "Oh, shit, it's Larxene, hide the sharp things!""

I laughed. "I would love if people would stop asking me questions about myself. All morning it's been "Are you dating Xigbar?" "Are you dating Zexion?" "Who are you in love with, Demyx?" "So you're definitely gay, huh?" and I'm sick of it."

"Yeah, well. At least people pay attention to you." She sighed. "Well, I guess my daughter is gonna pay attention to me, at least."

"How do you know it's gonna be a girl?" I asked, looking at her stomach. She was starting to show a little, but it wasn't anything shocking.

She looked at her bump herself and ran a hand over it, her face softening a little. "I just know."

"Okay." I'm not even going to pretend to understand pregnancy and childbirth and all of that. "So... have you got a crush?"

She went a little pink. "Fuck off, you fag."

"Oh, you have," I chimed. It felt really great, hanging out like this. It was like... this was how things should have been with Megan. Just trust and confidence and teasing and happiness. If she wasn't so closed off all the time, if she wasn't so involved in everyone but herself... "C'mon, tell me who."

She was even pinker now, but her mouth was breaking into a smile. "Don't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course not. Pinky swear." She held out a pinky finger and I locked mine around it, grinning at her. "Come on, you can trust me."

"Um... okay... you know Naminé?"

I blinked. "Nami? You have a crush on Nami?" That really hit me hard. "You know she has a boyfriend, right?"

"Well, yeah, but she clearly likes Megan, and I've been compared to Megan a lot, so..." She shrugged. "I dunno. And if you breathe a word to anyone, I will rip your pinky finger off and shove it –"

"Yeah, I know, I'm not impressed," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm Megan's brother, remember. You can't scare me. We can be friends, but you won't scare me."

She smiled at me. "But we can be friends."

"Yup. And I promise I won't tell anyone that you actually like people sometimes." I didn't just mean that she liked Nami, I also meant that she was apparently my friend. "Now, are you gonna be okay? I need to go make sure that Xigbar and Zexion haven't killed each other yet."

She nodded. "I'll be okay. And Demyx?" I looked at her. "Thanks. I don't think anyone else would have stopped."

I smiled at her. "It's nothing. You're a nice girl."

I tried not to act like it was a big deal, but speaking as someone who had stood on the very edge of the top of the clock tower, I knew that I could have just saved her life.

xxx

Well, that was a long, horrible eight months. I'm so, so sorry for not updating in so long. SO sorry. I've missed writing for you guys, I really have, but things have been, um, difficult at home, to say the least. Still, they're a lot better now. And I promise I will finish this fic, and A million munny, and The Babysitter, even if it kills me.

Thank you if you're still here, or if this is your first time reading, or anything at all, really. You guys are my inspiration, and other cheesy crap. Insert review whoring here