A/N: Relatively short chapter! Quite a touching moment in the game, completely butchered it, but ah well, what can you do. Enjoy and review, as always.

Chapter 36: In Which the Final Prophecy is Foretold and Secrets are Unfortunately Not Revealed

"Th-There's nuthin' like savin' the world drunk!" hiccupped Link. He straggled off somewhere in the snow, and Ammy dragged him back.

"Wow, you really can't handle your sake, can you?" Ammy sniffed. "I drank just about as much as you, and you don't see me stumbling."

"Whaddya talkin' bout, Ammy, I'm as sober as a stone! Right, Stoney, old buddy old pal?" He swatted at Samickle's leg and missed.

Ammy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I'm proud of you. You better not get in my way when I'm fighting the final boss, okay?"

"Oh god, Ammy, it's a DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY," said Link, his eyes wide as saucers.

Ammy threw him in the icey water of Laochi, which sobered him up a bit, although as soon as she got him on her back he discovered her hidden stash of Steel Soul Sake that she never used in battle, and his defense was temporarily raised.

Once again, their progress toward the ark was halted by Clover, asking them if they had the resolve to move on. Ammy mentally made sure she had completed everything she wanted to do, but decided to screw all that anyway because frankly she was getting tired of side quests and just wanted a nap. They were so close to the end now—why prolong it any further?

"Yes," she said with grim determination. "I'm ready."

…Are you sure? Asked Clover.

"I'm sure."

We don't believe you.

"Well you should."

…So you're sure you're sure?

"Godammit," grumbled Ammy. "Isn't there anyone else I could speak to?"

"Why indeed there is, my dear Amaterasu!" announced Waka, magically falling down from the sky. "I have returned, now that the pathway I have waited for for so long has finally opened! How long has it been, anyway? 200 years? No, it must have been longer than that…"

"UGH," muttered Link, tossing away the empty jug of sake with a disgruntled look on his face. "Seeing your pretty boy face makes me wanna puke. Plus, I'm sober now. And how old are you, anyway, you beastiality freak of nature?"

Waka tsked and shook his flute at Link. "Now now, my dear bouncing friend, it's rude to ask a person their age, you know. It is a very sensitive topic for me."

Link snorted and fished for another jug of Steel Soul Sake (which sounded more like a genre of music than anything).

Ammy watched Waka with bright, keen eyes. The setting was perfect for revealing secrets, and she knew if she played her cards right, those stilettos would be hers.

"BAH," scowled Link. "You slither outta everything, don'tcha? Can't give an explanation, much less a concrete answer, can you?" The way he was glaring so intensely at the prophet made Ammy think he was about to launch into another conspiracy theory again, but instead he turned aside and said, "No, you know what, I don't care. I'm not a part of this anymore. You go on and have fun with Ammy, doing whatever the hell it is you two do. I'm outta here."

Link hopped off Ammy's back, and for a moment, she was too stunned to do anything but stare as he started to walk away.

"Hey, get back here, you dumbass!" she finally called after him. "Why you—you can't just leave!"

Link looked abashedly down at his feet. "I had a fun time with you, Ammy," he said. "All those parties…and babes…and making fun of Sakuya…"

"Link, you're being completely OOC right now," Ammy said, trying frantically to reason with him. "What about kicking ass with me in that boss fight? You have yet to prove yourself useful in battle! I mean, you did some things a couple times, like with possessed Rao, but you have to admit even that was a little pathetic…I…I don't know if I can do this without you! You lighten up the mood! Who else will I have to pick on?"

"Because that's all I'm good for, apparently," Link muttered.

"I wouldn't say that," said Waka. "You are also rather good at being useless. Oh wait, I forgot, you also have value as a projectile, do you not?"

Ammy could feel the hatred boiling off Link. His hand twitched as if to reach for his wand, but with an immense amount of self-control that even Ammy had to admit was admirable, he managed not to jump around and slash at the air below Waka's pants.

"Heh, you won't get on my nerves this time, prophet! I've learned a few things about being a man after all my losses to you!"

"Congratulations," Waka yawned, inspecting his flute. "What a man, to be afraid of the legendary ark."

Link's self-control and Ammy's admiration did not last long.

"WHY YOU DAMN, FLAKY, HALF-BAKED PROPHET! SAY THAT TO MY FACE, WOULD YOU?"

"I would, indeed, my little friend, but it seems you are too short even if I bend over," Waka replied, dancing circles in the air around Link. He was quite enjoying himself, Ammy could tell.

Link finally stopped, panting and glaring angrily. "You know what? I'll show you! I'll board that ship and do my windwaking dance all over the place and THEN we'll see who's sorry!"

"Probably my poor cherie, to tell the truth."

"HA!" cried Link, leaping into the doorway. He was promptly tased by two semi-transparent angels wearing police hats and fell off the rainbow. "WAAAAAAAAAH!"

Waka made a strange noise, and Ammy looked up to find him trying to stifle a laugh.

"It's not funny," she reprimanded.

Link spluttered to the surface of Laochi Lake and shook his fist at Waka. "A CONSPIRACY, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS! GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN FIGHT YOU LIKE A MAN, DAMMIT!"

"I wish I could say it was, that'd sound so much more interesting," Waka sighed. "But the truth of it is, my little bouncing friend, you were never serious about this from the start. You were only in it for…how shall I put it…the LULZ, as they say?"

Ammy facepalmed. "NO one says that." But then she remembered Kabegami.

At that, Link had nothing to say. Or maybe it was because he was starting to drown. Ammy watched as Tuskle pulled him out of the lake and wrapped him up in some furs.

"YEAH, WELL, SO WAS AMMY!" he shouted hoarsely.

"Yes, but she is also a god," Waka replied. "And you don't even belong in this game."

"I—" began Link, but he truly had nothing to say to that. He looked down sadly.

"Never fear, my friend!" Waka said. "For I have another prophecy for you! Alas, it is also my last (and best, might I add) so listen up!"

Ignoring Link's protests of "Why the hell do I get a prophecy? Godammit, you prophet bastard, you do them just to annoy me, don't you!" he swept Ammy off her paws and danced her around the doorway, signing, "It takes two to tango! May the bond of the brush intercede!" He turned to face Link and struck a pose.

The look of revulsion on Link's face was priceless.

"Good, no? Better than the moon one? No, no, you don't have to answer me now, time is running short." He waved goodbye as the door began to close on them. "I'm sure the meaning will become crystal clear when the time comes!" he shouted down.

"As they always do," said Ammy. "And he'll meet up with us eventually, right?"

Waka raised an eyebrow at her. Her heart sank. "But—but he's—we're always together, you can't do this to me!"

"It is Clover's wish, ma cherie," Waka said, shrugging his shoulders. He patted her head reassuringly. "You will understand in due time."

Ammy sniffed. "I thought you were going to explain things. That was the perfect moment."

"…Well I must be off," said Waka. "And so must you, Amaterasu. We've got a date with destiny, we mustn't keep her waiting! Au revoir!"

"…Damn him," Ammy cursed. She still wasn't sure what Waka's motives were or where his true loyalties lay. He should be loyal to her, dammit, not some mysterious entity that whispered to him from the clouds. Or the studio, as it so happened to be. The door of the Ark of Yamato finally sealed behind them, and Ammy found herself alone, confronted by total darkness.

A/N: Never fear, dear readers, the cause for Link's strange change of attitude and the secrets of the stilettos will be revealed in due time! (or will they? o_O) Well, with that question to haunt your every waking thoughts, I leave you with yet another amazing cliffhanger as we proceed to the Ark of Yamato!