DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEITHER HARRY POTTER NOR FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!
Chapter Thirty-Six
As the month went on, the fifth years, including Ed, were getting very restless and obsessed with the upcoming O.W.L. exams. While Hermione had muttered to herself and Ernie Macmillan had developed an irritating habit of interrogating people about their study habits, Ed was prone to snapping at anybody who snickered or even mentioned his closeness to Winry while she helped him study. He had even had to be held back by Al, Harry, and Ron when he had tried to beat Draco Malfoy up when Malfoy had mentioned that Ed and Winry's kids would be 'Mudbloods' and 'diseased.'
A few days before the exams were to start, Malfoy had started boasting loudly outside Potions class.
"Of course, it's not what you know," Malfoy boasted to Crabbe and Goyle. "It's who you know. Now, Father's been friendly with the head of the Wizarding Examination Authority for years - old Griselda Marchbanks - we've had her round for dinner and everything…"
"Then that means you're gonna fail the tests, you stupid piece of shit!" Ed remarked.
Malfoy looked at Ed and narrowed his eyes.
"Well, if it isn't -" Malfoy started.
Before Malfoy could finish the dungeon doors opened and Snape had beckoned them in.
Meanwhile, a flourishing black-market trade in aids to concentration, mental agility, and wakefulness had sprung up among the fifth and seventh years. Harry and Ron were much tempted by the bottle of Baruffio's Brain Elixir offered to them by Ravenclaw Eddie Carmichael, who swore it was solely responsible for the nine "Outstanding" O.W.L.s he had gained the previous summer and was offering the whole pint for a mere twelve Galleons. Ron assured Harry he would reimburse him for his half the moment he left Hogwarts and got a job, but before they could close the deal, Winry snatched it from Carmichael and poured the contents down a toilet.
"Winry, we wanted to buy that!" Ron shouted.
"Don't be stupid, Ronald," Winry snapped. "You might as well take Harold Dingle's powdered dragon claw and have done with it."
"Dingle's got powdered dragon claw?" Ron asked.
"No, it was dried doxy droppings," Winry replied.
"How do you know?" Harry asked.
"Shoo!" Winry snapped at Carmichael. "And if I hear about you selling these to other people, I'll kick your ass!"
Carmichael dashed away. Winry turned back to Harry and Ron.
"They tried to offer these to Ed and Al, but Ed saw right through it after sniffing them," Winry replied to Harry's question.
"He sniffed them?" Ron asked.
"Yes, he's an Alchemist," Winry answered. "That's what they do. Well, that's what Edward said."
"Where is Ed?" Ron asked again.
"He's studying in the library with Alphonse," Winry shrugged off. "I better go see how they're doing."
Ed, Al, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had received their examination schedules and details of the procedure for O.W.L.s during their next Transfiguration lesson.
"As you can see," Professor McGonagall told the class while they copied down the dates and times of their exams from the blackboard, "your O.W.L.s are spread over two successive weeks. You will sit the theory exams in the mornings and the practice in the afternoons. Your practical Astronomy examination will, of course, take place at night. Now, I must warn you that the most stringent Anti-Cheating Charms have been applied to your examination papers. Auto-Answer Quills are banned from the examination hall, as are Remembralls, Detachable Cribbing Cuffs, and Self-Correcting Ink. Every year, I am afraid to say, seems to harbor at least one student who thinks that he or she can get around the Wizarding Examinations Authority's rules. I can only hope that it is nobody in Gryffindor. Our new headmistress has asked the Heads of House to tell their students that cheating will be punished most severely - because, of course, your examination results will reflect upon the headmistress's new regime at the school…"
Professor McGonagall gave a tiny sigh.
"However, that is no reason not to do your very best," McGonagall continued. "You have your own futures to think about."
"Please, Professor," Hermione pleaded, her hand in the air, "when will we find out our results?"
"We'll get an owl in July," Ed answered before McGonagall could, everyone looking at him. "What? Winry called me once she got it and squealed my ear off."
McGonagall gave a small smile.
"As Mr. Elric said, Miss Granger, an owl will be sent to you some time in July," replied McGonagall.
"Excellent," Dean Thomas whispered, "so we don't have to worry about it till the holidays." He turned to Ed and said, "And Ed, I promise I won't call you and squeal about my results."
The class burst out laughing as Ed blushed in embarrassment. Even Roy gave a lecture on the O.W.L. exams. Though, not many of the girls in the class paid much attention since they were all too busy ogling Roy.
"Before he left, Professor Dumbledore told me that Alchemy will be a sixth year course," Roy told the class. "So, yes, you will have an Alchemy O.W.L. exam. You will have the written, of course, and a practical."
Hermione rose her hand.
"Yes, Miss Granger?" Roy prompted Hermione, turning on his charming smile.
"Erm, what results do you expect from us?" Hermione asked, blushing.
"Wait!" Ed spoke up before Roy could answer. "Does this mean that you're gonna be teaching next year too?!"
"Yes, FullMetal, it does," Roy answered. "Izumi Curtis had informed me that it best I continue the class since she needed to be in Dublith to keep her business afloat."
"But that's not fair!" Ed protested.
"Live with it, Edward," Roy replied.
Ed growled. Roy turned back to Hermione.
"I expect 'Exceeding Expectations', Miss Granger," Roy answered Hermione's question.
Hermione nodded.
Their first exam, Theory of Charms, was scheduled for Monday morning. Harry agreed to test Hermione after lunch on Sunday but regretted it almost at once. She was very agitated and kept snatching the book back from him to check that she had gotten the answer completely right, finally hitting him hard on the nose with the sharp edge of Achievements in Charming.
"Why don't you just do it yourself?" Harry snapped, handing the book back to Hermione, his eyes watering.
Meanwhile Ed and Al were studying their notes at a nearby table, Winry quizzing them now and again; Ron was reading two years of Charms notes with his fingers in his ears, his lips moving soundlessly; Seamus was lying on his back on the floor, reciting definitions while Dean checked them; and Parvati and Lavender, who were practicing basic locomotion charms, were making their pencil cases race each other around the edge of the table.
Dinner was a subdued affair that night. Harry and Ron did not talk much but ate with gusto, having studied hard all day; Ed, Al, and Winry ate at a normal pace; and Hermione kept putting down her knife and fork and diving under the table for her bag, from which she would seize a book to check some fact or figure. The last time she had done that, Ed snatched the book away.
"Hey!" Hermione protested. "I need that to see if -"
"No, you don't," Ed interrupted, giving the book to Al to hold. "You've probably got everything down."
"But -!" Hermione started.
"Ed is right, Hermione," Ron agreed with Ed. "You've got to eat or you won't sleep well."
But Hermione wasn't listening. She was looking into the entrance hall. Ed, Al, Winry, Harry, and Ron looked into the entrance hall as well.
"Oh, my goodness," Hermione gasped. "Is that them? Is that the examiners?"
Through the doors to the Great Hall, they could see Umbridge standing with a small group of ancient-looking witches and wizards. Umbridge looked rather nervous.
"Let's get a closer look," Ed suggested.
Then he, Al, Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to take a second look as Winry decided to stay where she was. The former hastened toward the double doors into the entrance hall, slowing down as they stepped over the threshold to walk sedately past the examiners. Professor Marchbanks was the tiny, stooped witch with a face so lined it looked as though it had been draped in cobwebs; Umbridge was speaking to her very deferentially. Professor Marchbanks seemed to be a little deaf; she was answering Umbridge very loudly considering that they were only a foot apart.
"Journey was fine, journey was fine, we've made it plenty of times before!" Marchbanks said impatiently. "Now, I haven't heard from Dumbledore lately! No idea where he is, I suppose?"
"None at all," Umbridge answered, shooting a malevolent look at Ed, Al, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were now dawdling around the foot of the stairs as Ron pretended to do up a shoelace. "But I daresay the Ministry of Magic will track him down soon enough…"
"I doubt it," shouted tiny Marchbanks, "not if Dumbledore doesn't want to be found! I should know…Examined him personally in Transfiguration and Charms when he did N.E.W.T.s… Did things with a wand I'd never seen before…"
"Yes, well," Umbridge relented as Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ed, and Al dragged their feet up the marble staircase as slowly as they dared, "let me show you to the staffroom…I daresay you'd like a cup of tea after your journey…"
It was an uncomfortable sort of an evening. Everyone was trying to do some last-minute studying but nobody seemed to be getting very far. None of the fifth years talked very much at breakfast the next day either. Parvati was practicing incantations under her breath while the salt cellar in front of her twitched, Hermione was rereading Achievement in Charming so fast that her eyes appeared blurred, and Neville kept dropping his knife and fork and knocking over the marmalade. Once breakfast was over, the fifth and seventh years milled around in the entrance hall while the other students went off to lessons. None of the fifth or seventh years even bothered to say anything or laugh or whistle when Winry gave Ed a 'good luck' kiss on the lips and when Cho kissed Al for luck before leaving for class.
At half past nine, they were called forward class by class to reenter the Great Hall, whose four House tables had been removed and replaced instead with many tables for one, all facing the staff table end of the Hall where Professor McGonagall stood facing them. When they were all seated and quiet McGonagall instructed, "You may begin," and turned over an enormous hourglass on the desk beside her, on which were also spare quills, ink bottles, and rolls of parchment.
Ed turned over his paper, his heart thumping hard…He lowered his eyes to the first question: a) Give the incantation, and b) describe the wand movement required to make objects fly…
Two hours later, the exam was over and Hermione started to go over the questions until Ron told her to stop. The fifth years ate lunch with the rest of the school (the four House tables reappeared over the lunch hour) and then trooped off into the small chamber beside the Great Hall, where they were to wait until called for their practical examination. As small groups of students were called forward in alphabetical order, those left behind muttered incantations and practiced wand movements, occasionally poking one another in the back or eye by mistake. Ed and Al's names were called and they went into the Great Hall, going to different professors. Ed went to Professor Tofty while Al went to Professor Marchbanks.
"Edward Elric, is it?" Tofty asked.
"Yeah," Ed answered.
"There is no need to be nervous," Tofty assured. "Now, if I could ask you to take this eggcup and make it do some cartwheels for me…"
The exam had gone particularly well for Ed. He had not made any mistakes as Al hadn't made any mistakes either. After their exams, Ed and Al left the Great Hall. There was no time to relax that night - they went straight to the common room after dinner and submerged themselves in studying for Transfiguration the next day. Ed and Al had done very reasonable well on both the written and practical exams. On Wednesday was the Herbology exam; and then on Thursday was the Defense Against the Dark Arts. Ed and Al both felt that they aced the written questions. They both performed all the counter-jinxes and defensive spells right in front of Umbridge, who was watching coolly from near the doors into the entrance hall. Ed banished his boggart as soon as he could, earning praise from Professor Tofty.
"Oh excellent!" Tofty praised. "Very good indeed! You may leave now."
The next day was Alchemy for the students who were taking the class. Ed and Al, of course, had an easy time with the written and practical exam, but Harry and Ron had a hard time with both of them. Hermione, of course, did pretty well. The rest of the exams passed pretty slowly, and on Wednesday night was the Astronomy practical exam. When Ed, Al, Harry, Ron, and Hermione reached the top of the Astronomy Tower at eleven o'clock that evening, they found a perfect night for stargazing. It was cloudless and still. The grounds were bathed in silvery moonlight, and there was a slight chill in the air. Each of them set up his or her telescope and, when Professor Marchbanks gave the word, proceeded to fill in the blank star chart he or she had been given.
Professors Marchbanks and Tofty strolled among them, watching as they entered the precise positions of the stars and planets they were observing. All was quiet except for the rustle of parchment, the occasional creak of a telescope as it was adjusted on its stand and the scribbling of many quills. Half an hour passes, then an hour; the little squares of reflective gold light flickering on the ground below started to vanish as lights in the castle windows were extinguished.
Ed had just completed the constellation Orion on his chart when the front doors of the castle opened directly below Harry was standing, so that the light spilled down the stone steps a little way across the lawn. Ed looked at Al and then Harry and they all glanced down and saw five or six elongated shadows moving over the brightly lit grass before the doors swung shut and the lawn became a sea of darkness once more. Ed, Al, and Harry went to continue their charts when the figures caught their eyes again. Somebody coughed to let them know they should continue their exams and were about to continue when they heard an echoing of a knock followed by the muffled barks of a large dog. All three boys looked to see that there were lights on in Hagrid's windows and the people they had observed crossing the lawn were now silhouetted against them. The door opened and they distinctly saw six tiny by sharply defined figures walk over the threshold. The door closed again and there was silence.
The boys were going to look at each other again, but they decided not to since Professor Marchbanks was making sure no one was cheating. Figures were now moving across the cabin windows, temporarily blocking the light. As Marchbanks moved on, a roar from the distant cabin echoed through the darkness right to the top of the Astronomy Tower. Several people around Ed, Al, and Harry ducked out from behind their telescopes and peered instead in the direction of Hagrid's cabin. Professor Tofty gave a dry little cough.
"Try and concentrate, now, boys and girls," Tofty encouraged softly.
Most people returned to their telescopes, but now Hermione was gazing transfixed at Hagrid's.
"Ahem - twenty minutes to go," Tofty announced.
Hermione jumped and returned at once to her star chart. Harry went to correct his mislabeled star chart when there was a loud BANG from the grounds. Several people cried out in pain as they had poked themselves in the face with the ends of their telescopes, hastening to see what was going on below.
Hagrid's door had burst open and by the light flooding out of the cabin they saw him quite clearly, a massive figure roaring and brandishing his fists, surrounded by six people, all of whom, judging by the tiny threads of red light they were casting in his direction, seemed to be attempting to Stun him.
"No!" Hermione cried.
"My dear!" Tofty reprimanded. "This is an examination!"
But nobody was paying the slightest attention to their star charts anymore: Jets of red light were still flying beside Hagrid's cabin, yet somehow they seemed to be bouncing off him. He was still upright and still fighting. Cries and yells echoed across the grounds.
"Be reasonable, Hagrid!" a man yelled.
"Reasonable be damned!" Hagrid roared. "Yeh won' take me like this, Dawlish!"
Fang tried to defend Hagrid, leaping at the wizards surrounding him until a Stunning Spell caught him and he fell to the ground. Hagrid gave a howl of fury, lifted the culprit bodily from the ground, and threw him: The man flew what looked like ten feet and did not get up again. Hermione gasped, both hands over her mouth; and Ron was looking scared as well. Al's eyes were wide, and Ed clenched his hands into fists at his sides.
"Look!" Parvati squealed, who was now leaning over the parapet and pointing to the foot of the castle where the front doors seemed to have opened again: more light had spilled out onto the dark lawn and a single black shadow was now rippling across the lawn.
"Now, really!" Tofty reprimanded again. "Only sixteen minutes left, you know!"
Nobody paid attention to him: They were watching the person now sprinting toward the battle beside Hagrid's cabin.
"McGonagall," Al correctly assumed before anyone heard the figure speak.
"How dare you!" the figure, McGonagall, shouted as she ran. "How dare you!"
"You're right, Alphonse," Hermione whispered.
Al only nodded.
"Leave him alone! Alone, I say!" McGonagall shouted again through the darkness. "On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such - "
Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender all screamed. No fewer than four Stunners had shot from the figures around the cabin toward McGonagall. Halfway between cabin and castle the red beams collided with her. For a moment she looked luminous, illuminated by an eerie red glow, then was lifted right off her feet, landed hard on her back, and moved no more.
"Galloping gargoyles!" Tofty shouted, who seemed to have forgotten the exam completely. "Not so much as a warning! Outrageous behavior!"
"COWARDS!" Hagrid bellowed, his voice carrying clearly to the top of the tower, and several lights flickered back on inside the castle. "RUDDY COWARDS! HAVE SOME O' THAT - AN' THAT -"
"Oh my!" Hermione gasped.
"You get those bastards, Hagrid!" Ed cheered on.
Hagrid took two massive swipes at his closest attackers; judging by their immediate collapse, they had been knocked cold. Hagrid bent over and picked up Fang, putting the unconscious dog over his shoulders.
"Get him, get him!" Umbridge screamed, but her remaining helper seemed highly reluctant to go within reach of Hagrid's fists.
Indeed, the helper backed away so fast he tripped over one of unconscious colleagues and fell over. Hagrid had turned and begun to run with Fang still around his neck. Umbridge sent one last Stunning Spell after him but it missed, and Hagrid, running full-pelt toward the distant gates, disappeared into the darkness.
There was a long minute's quivering silence, everybody gazing openmouthed into the grounds.
"Um…five minutes to go, everybody…" Tofty announced feebly.
At the end of the exam, everybody put their telescopes haphazardly back into their holders and dashed back down the spiral staircase. None of the students were going to bed - they were all talking loudly and excitedly at the foot of the stairs about what they had witnessed.
"That evil woman!" Hermione gasped. "Trying to sneak up on Hagrid in the dead of night!"
"She clearly wanted to avoid another scene like with Trelawney and Professor Curtis," Ernie Macmillan said sagely, squeezing over to join, Ed, Al, Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
"Of course," Ed scoffed. "But she forgot that since Hagrid is a half-giant the spells would just bounce off."
"But Professor McGonagall got four Stunners straight in the chest," Al reminded. "It will be tough on her."
"Dreadful, dreadful," Ernie said, shaking his head pompously. "Well, I'm off to bed… 'Night, all…"
People around them were drifting away, still talking excitedly about what they had just seen.
"At least they didn't get to take Hagrid off to Azkaban," Ron pointed out. "I 'spect he's gone to join Dumbledore, hasn't he?"
"Suppose so," Ed replied. "First Bumblebore, now Hagrid."
"Dumbledore, Edward!" Hermione corrected.
Ed shrugged, When they went back to the Gryffindor common room, they found it to be full. The commotion out in the grounds had woken several people, who had hastened to rouse their friends. Seamus and Dean, who had arrived ahead of Ed, Al, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, were now telling everyone what they had heard from the top of the Astronomy Tower.
"But why sack Hagrid now?" Angelina Johnson asked, shaking her head. "It's not like Trelawney, he's been teaching much better than usual this year."
"It doesn't matter to her," Winry replied, tears in her eyes, before Hermione could. "She hates people that aren't fully human. She was going to find a way to get rid of Hagrid one way or another."
Ed went to Winry and gave her his handkerchief. Winry took it and smiled at Ed.
"And she thought Hagrid was putting nifflers in her office," piped up Katie Bell.
"Oh blimey," confessed Lee Jordan, covering his mouth. "It's me's been putting the nifflers in her office. Fred and George left me a couple. I've been levitating them in through her window."
"She'd have fired him anyway," Al wove off. "He was very close to Dumbledore."
"That's true," Harry admitted, sinking into an armchair by Hermione's.
"I just hope that Professor McGonagall's all right," Lavender hoped tearfully.
"She'll be fine," Ed assured. "She's tough like Teacher. It'll take more than four Stunners to take her out."
"Brother's right," Al agreed.
Suddenly, Al got an angry expression on his face, confusing almost everyone in the room.
"Al?" Dean asked. "What's wrong?"
Al blinked and looked at Dean.
"Nothing," Al replied, suddenly calm. "I'm just tired. I'm going up to bed."
Then Al bade everyone a good night, like that was possible, and went up to go to bed.
"Ed, you better go to bed yourself," Winry suggested, wiping her tears on Ed's handkerchief. "You need to rest up for your final exam tomorrow."
"All right," Ed agreed. "But don't cry anymore. I don't like it."
Then Ed went up to go to bed as well. Winry went to bed a few moments later, clutching Ed's handkerchief in her hand.
"Well, there's one thing we can wait for the summer," Ron spoke up.
"What's that?" Ginny asked.
"Ed and Winry's marriage," Ron remarked.
Everyone laughed lightly until a wrench found its way and hit itself onto Ron's head.
"OW!" Ron exclaimed.
Everybody burst out laughing, knowing that it was Winry who had charmed the wrench to hit Ron on the head.