Chapter 35 – Revenge

On May 20th, 2009 Lily was enjoying a rare day off. She'd decided she didn't want to go to the firm like she did whenever she had a day off patrol and just stay home. At ten a.m. she got a call.

'Lily, this is Steve. You need to come to work,' the training officer went straight to the point.

'Why? What happened?'

'A cop was killed this morning. They're takin' everyone out on the streets and that includes us.'

'Who was it?' she asked as she started putting on her uniform.

'A detective from the 12th, Angel or somethin' like that ...'

'Jessica Angell?' she swallowed hard when Steve confirmed it. 'I'm already in uniform, I'll meet you on the parking lot.'

'Hurry up. We should've hit the streets five minutes ago.'

On her way to work she mulled over the news. Angell was dead. Jessica Angell was ... dead. Lily felt mostly frustrated and angry, like she did whenever a cop was killed in the line of duty. However, there was a small voice at the back of her head that screamed: karma. Nobody deserved to be killed, especially a cop but Lily couldn't be too sad about it. After all, the dead woman was half the reason her life had been torn apart. And the other half was probably mourning and chasing down whoever had killed his beloved girlfriend. The universe certainly had a twisted sense of humor.

So on her first day off in at least six months she found herself in the car with Steve for nine hours looking for Angell's killer. Lily believed that she was selfish and a bad person for thinking that Angell knew how to ruin her life even after death, but there was something true in that statement. Then came the dispatcher's voice saying to call off the search because the perps had been found. Both Steve and Lily sighed; the day was over.

The funeral was the following Saturday morning and more than half the force was paying their respects. They all stood there in formation, not a muscle moving during the whole ceremony. They saluted when they had to, the twenty-one shots were fired, the ominous bagpipes played and then it was all over. Some cops approached the family to express their condolences but Lily couldn't. She knew Cliff Angell had been a good detective and fathers shouldn't have to bury their daughters but she couldn't shake his hand and say she was extremely sorry because she wasn't. She was somewhat sorry. Lily had gone to the funeral to pay her respects to Jessica Angell the cop, who deserved every salute, every word of praise and the flag over her coffin. Jessica Angell the person was a different story, though. Lily felt no obligation to honor the woman and that was why she left the cemetery feeling regret for the loss of a co-worker and not for the loss of a human being. Even if that was harsh. Even if she was supposed to be better than that.

May 27th found Lily ashamed of her previous feelings. A woman had died and she'd been almost glad, what was wrong with her? She wasn't happy about her death and she certainly couldn't be relieved; it had changed nothing. Flack had still kissed her while being with Lily, he'd still chosen Angell over her and he still loved her. The latter had been evident in the funeral, where he stood in his dress blues holding back tears. It had been a heart-breaking sight. And then the call came. The previous night a group of cops had been shot at at a bar. Mac and his investigators, to be more exact. Needless to say, cops all over the city wouldn't be getting much sleep the following days. It started all over again ...

To make matters worse, the Lieutenant in charge of the 10th Precinct wanted to have a chat with Lily after roll call.

'How long have you been a cop?' he asked.

'A year and a half in New York and I worked in Boston for four years during college.'

'You're a lawyer too, right?'

'Yeah, I work as a criminal lawyer.'

'You've also worked with Taylor as a C.S.I.'

'Yes, sir,' it hadn't been really a question but he somehow needed confirmation.

'Brass seems to think you're ready for Homicide.'

'Whaddya mean, Lieu?'

'The Homicide Division in the 1-2 is short two detectives and they want you to work there temporarily.'

'Why me?'

'You have experience with police work, lawyers and evidence and they think you can be good for transition while they find a replacement for the one who died and the boyfriend comes back to work.'

'But I'm not a detective ...'

'You'll get a temporary golden shield.'

'Does that mean I'll be off patrol?'

'No, we're fightin' to keep your ass in this precinct,' explained the lieutenant.

'So I'd be doing doubles until they find a replacement over there?'

'Or pulling sixteens, remember detectives have longer hours.'

'Do I have any choice, Lieu?'

'You've been off probation for six months, do you wanna go back?'

'No, sir.'

'Then take the assignment, Stewart.'

'Yes, sir.'

'I need you to sign here,' he gave her some papers. 'You start tonight.'

Lily read the contract carefully and the lieutenant rolled his eyes; damn lawyers!

'What did Lieu want?' asked Steve when she joined him in the car.

'They're assigning me to Homicide at the 1-2 temporarily.'

'So who's replacin' you here?' he asked.

'No one. I'm supposed to work the morning shift with you, go home to catch some sleep and then run to the 1-2 for another shift. I got nights.'

'Ooh, nights in Homicide in New York City. That's gonna be fun!' he teased.

'Yeah, I'm so looking forward to it ...'

'At least you're getting a golden shield for a while.'

'Right, that's comforting!' she said sarcastically.

One month later ...

When Flack got to the scene, he saw a woman giving directions to every cop in the building.

He tapped her shoulder before saying 'I'll take it from here.'

'Like hell you will. This is my crime scene,' she turned around and they both gasped in surprise.

'Lily? Are you a detective now?'

'It's temporary. Till you get back on your feet and the brass decides who to give Angell's shield to,' she explained.

'Well, I'm here to take over.'

'Hold that thought,' she took out her cell phone and made a call. 'Chief of Detectives, please. Stewart, 9521 ... Sir, I've got Detective Flack at my crime scene asking for the case. I want to know his status ... Yes, sir ... Yeah ... Yes, sir. Thank you.'

Flack felt pain crushing his chest, but tried to play it off. '9521, huh?' he pursed his lips. They had given Angell's badge to Lily.

'Trust me, I wanted another one.'

'Yeah. Do I have green light?' asked Flack, a bit peeved that she had called their superior.

'I've just told the Chief of Detectives that you seem balanced enough. Don't make a fool of ourselves, a'right?' Lily ripped a page from her notebook and slammed it against his chest before leaving.

The following afternoon Lily was entering Mac's office.

'Detective, what can I do for you?' he asked.

'I wanted to know how last night's case is going.'

'We're still processing the evidence.'

'I was actually asking 'bout Flack,' she bit her lip.

'Detective Flack is following every lead we have. Is that all?'

'So can I go to sleep knowing he hasn't ruined his career or mine?'

'Yes,' he nodded.

'Thanks,' she left his office quite relieved.

After the case was solved Lily walked to Flack's desk.

'Do ya have a minute?' she asked.

'Sure,' he looked up from his paperwork.

'No hard feelings?' she extended her hand.

'Why would there be?' he didn't shake her hand, though.

'Look, I get it. Your girlfriend was killed and a month later you come back and I have her badge and desk and job. But I'm not replacin' her.'

'Of course not,' he said coldly.

'The precinct was undermanned and I have more experience with murders than your average cop. You're back on the streets and they'll give this shield to somebody else so I'll go back to just patrol.'

'Okay.'

'I don't wanna be her, I don't wanna replace her and it's not about you. I'm just doing my job.'

'Great. That reminds me I have to do all these reports before my shift ends, so ...' Flack gave her a pointed look and she just shook her head and left.

As Lily went home she thought about all that had happened in the last month. In hindsight, it probably hadn't been a good idea to take Angell's badge and desk. However, she'd wanted to help the Department and advance her career as a cop. Lily knew that if she took the job and did it well, it would be a good precedent when it was time to talk about a promotion. Besides, she'd been living for the thrill lately and being a Homicide Detective was certainly exciting. Was it the smartest choice she'd ever made? Probably not, but she stood by it and would do it again. She was, in a way, fulfiling a long-time dream of hers. Before the whole ordeal in Boston she was on her way to becoming a detective but the rape changed everything and now, almost seven years later, she could say she'd been able to do it. Granted, not for a very long time but it was enough to erase it from "the Bucket List". She could honestly say that before being thirty she'd achieved everything she had wanted regarding her career; being a cop, a detective, a crime scene investigator, a lawyer and a founding partner of a law firm. In that area, her life had been pretty much perfect. She'd experienced a few setbacks but had risen above them. This, however, presented a problem: what to do from that moment on?

She definitely wanted to keep being a cop but now wanted to focus more to being a lawyer. Lily had been going less than ten hours a week to the firm lately and she wanted to change that. She missed the thrill of going to court but more than anything, she wanted to go back to her life. Splitting up with Don had turned her life upside down and that was why she had buried herself in the danger of police work. Now it was time to get her life back together. Yes, she had loved Flack and probably always would but that was no reason not to move on. It was time.

To say that Flack was pissed was an understatement. They had no right to give Angell's badge to Lily! And her desk? That was outrageous. The Brass had no respect. She had died in the line of duty just a month before, would it have hurt to show a little respect? It wasn't fair! It wasn't supposed to be like that. Jess shouldn't have died and Lily shouldn't have replaced her. Flack felt quite guilty because in a way, it was payback. Jess had replaced Lily as his girlfriend and now the lawyer was replacing Jess at work. Maybe that was why she'd taken the job in the first place, to make him upset. If that was true, there'd be hell to pay. That was why after spending half an hour at a bar, he paid Lily a visit.

'Flack? What the hell are you doin' here?' she stifled a yawn. After all, he had woken her up.

'I wanna know why you took the job,' he said quite loud and she dragged him in, not wanting him to wake up the neighbors.

'You mean as a detective?' asked Lily and he nodded. 'Well, 'cause they offered ...'

'Nooo, you wanted to replace Jess,' he slurred.

'For Christ's sake! Are you drunk?' she had a disgusted look on her face.

'Maybe but you – you haven't denied it.'

'I told you before, I was just doin' my job, I don't want to replace anybody.'

'Did you do it to make me mad?'

'No.'

'You sure? 'Cause you're makin' me pretty mad!' he explained.

'Wasn't my intention, sorry,' she said acidly.

'You shouldn't have taken the job,' he sentenced.

'They asked for my help, I said yes. That's all there is to it,' she shook her head, wondering why she was giving explanations to a drunk Flack.

'Why they asked for you? You're a rookie.'

'I've been round the block a coupla times and it'd be temporary, so that when they promote somebody, he won't have to carry the load of being the succesor of a fallen officer.'

'Oh, I'm sure you're very sad she died,' he spat back.

'Yes, I am!' she said and he snickered. 'Was she my best friend? Would I have liked to hang out with her? No. But every cop killed in the line of duty is a tragedy.'

He looked down, realizing she'd meant what she'd said.

'So you're goin' back to patrol?' Flack's eyes widened as he spoke.

'I've alway been on patrol. You're not gonna see me around. Now let me go back to sleep,' Lily ushered him to the door.

'If I find out you did all this to get back at me ...' he trailed off.

'You what? Are you gonna arrest me? I'm not intimidated by your drunk self. Now go.'

He left, seeing as he – uncharacteristically – had no witty comments to respond with. As he sobered up with the cold air hitting his face, he realized how stupid and rude it had been to go see her so late at night in such a condition. Truth was, he had needed to go. She had to know how he felt about the whole situation. He was upset and hurt and couldn't let it go so easily. He knew that it hadn't been entirely her fault so it was kind of unfair to blame it all on Lily but at the same time, she was responsible and he had to remind her of that fact. He had to do it for Jess and for himself. He couldn't forget Jessica Angell as soon as everybody else had. He didn't want to.

She went back to bed wondering why she'd even bothered to explain herself to an obviously drunk Flack. But then it hit her: she needed to tell him, even if he couldn't remember it the following morning. She needed to tell Flack it had nothing to do about him and all to do about her. This was her turning over a new leaf.

Sorry it took so long to update but it was a difficult chapter and I was swarmed with finals. I promise next chapter will be up faster. Please leave a review with comments and suggestions. As usual, thanks to sparkyCSI for being awesome and extremely helpful and to: babygurl1994, BlueEyedAuthor, Angel N Darkness, xSamiliciousx and animeotaku88 for great reviews. Keep 'em coming!