Today we venture into the Dai Lee stronghold underneath Lake Laogai. We'll be witnessing the plights of GAang to find Appa. The plight of Zuko to figure out his destiny. And the plight of Jet to get the GAang to trust him again.
Toph: You talk too much about plights. Just get this chapter over with.
You know, just because you make a few mistakes in this chapter doesn't mean you have to get testy about it. You're not the only one who's ever carried the idiot ball. Especially not in this episode.
Toph: Point taken. Yeah, Mike and Bryan decided that, in this episode, the main females would carry idiot planets.
Can't argue with that. I think everyone knows at least one thing they're gonna see today.
Toph: Right, so let's get this over with. I want to read this, get angry, and then beat something to a bloody pulp.
What SHOULD have Happened in Avatar the Last Airbender: Book 2: Chapter 17
Inside a small tea shop in the Lower Ring, a man in fancy robes as well as the man's two companions sat at a table and drank the warm brew that an old, bearded man poured for them. When they finished, all three patrons smiled at one another and stood up before the man led them towards their waiter. "So you're the genius behind this incredible brew! The whole city is buzzing about you!" He smirked and raised a tea cup with a hand covered in jewels. "I hope Pao pays you well."
Iroh smiled back. "Good tea is its own reward."
"But it doesn't have to be the only reward. How would you like to have your own tea shop?"
The old benders eyes shot open. "My own tea shop? This is a dream come true!"
Pao heard his best server shouting a dashed over to where the four men spoke. "What's going on here?" He threw himself in front of his employee. "Are you trying to poach my tea maker?"
The man in robes chuckled. "Sorry, pal, but that's business for ya. Am I right?"
The shop owner tensed as he turned to the old man. "Mueshi, if you stay, I'll make you assistant manager. Wait! Senior assistant manager."
"I'll provide you with a new apartment in the Upper Ring. The tea shop is yours to do whatever you want. Complete creative freedom."
Iroh looked on with wide eyes. "I even get to name the shop?"
"Of course!"
Pao stammered. "Senior… executive assistant manager…?" He then cringed as the man he knew as 'Mueshi' handed him the tea pot and bowed to the well-dressed man.
As his former employer walked away and Zuko walked past him, carrying a tray, the retired general smiled at the teen. "Did you hear, Nephew? This man wants to give us our own tea shop in the Upper Ring of the city!"
The banished prince stiffened as he heard the fancy-dressed man speak.
"That's right, young man. You're life is about to change for the-."
Zuko grabbed Iroh's elbow. "Yesyes,?" He then pulled the older bender into a back room of the store.
When the two stood out of ear shot of the patrons, the Dragon of the West raised an eyebrow. "Zuko, what's wrong with you?"
The teen glared. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?"
"I don't understand what you're asking."
"You want to open a tea shop in the Upper Ring!"
"So?"
"Where rich and very accomplished people live!"
"So…?"
"Like the generals you fought when you were invading this city, who would not soon forget the face of the only man to ever breach the walls, which includes the general who personally surrendered to you and gave you that dagger you gave me!"
Iroh blinked twice. "Oh yeah…" He scratched his head. "Kinda forgot about that."
[[Old people in AtLA: The joke of senility is there for a reason.]]
Under Lake Laogai, in the Dai Lee's underground headquarters, Jet led Smellerbee and Long Shot as well as the Avatar and his friends through the corridors. "I think there might be a cell big enough to hold Appa up ahead."
A few minutes later, the leader of the Freedom Fighters stood in front of a metal door with his hook swords drawn. "I think it's through here." He opened the door slowly and stepped into a large, dark, and empty cavern followed by his and the Avatar's friends.
Sokka walked beside Smellerbee, deeper and deeper into the room. Just then, the door slid shut behind them and green flames illuminated the enormous cave. The Water Tribe boy spun his head upward and saw dozens of Dai Lee agents hanging from chains or standing upside down on the ceiling. The warrior's eyes narrowed and he began to bear his teeth as he glanced to the other end of the cave and saw Long Feng being flanked by two of his men.
The leader of the Dai Lee glared at the children. "You have made yourselves enemies of the-."
Hakoda's son clutched his boomerang. "Toph, you're fired!"
The earth bender blinked twice. "What?"
Long Feng sneered. "You dare interrupt me when I am-?"
Sokka snarled. "Shut up!" He then towards the blind girl. "I don't know how your 'vibration powers' work! But I know that three random guys should not have looked anything like A TEN-$%^-ING-TON BISON!"
The warrior pointed at the ceiling. "And you didn't know there was anything up there? Twenty-some guys don't look like anything to you? We aren't on sand! Or water! Or anything else but SOLID ROCK! How did you not know this was all here? Why didn't you warn us?"
Toph shirked back. "I… I…"
"You knew there were ants crawling up a hill when we first met you! How is this harder to detect?"
"I… I…"
"No! Get out of here! You're fired!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Within the Dai Lee's headquarters, Zuko wore the guise of the Blue Spirit as he watched the Avatar's bison stomp and slam his chained feet against the ground as the creature snarled and roared at him. However, Ozai's son stood still as he stared the beast down and held his twin Dao swords. "You're mine, now."
Just then, the door behind the prince opened. The teen spun around and held up his blades; only to see the Dragon of the West standing calmly and closing the door behind him. "Uncle?" He relaxed his stance.
Iroh looked on at his nephew and spoke with mock-uncertainty. "So, the Blue Spirit." He stroked his beard. "I wonder who it could be behind that mask."
The scarred teen exhaled slowly and took of his mask and hood. "What are you doing here?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing." The old bender approached his nephew. "What do you plan to do now that you've found the Avatar's bison? Keep it locked in our new apartment?"
The younger bender held both swords in one hand. "Actually, when I said, 'What are you doing here,' I meant it as: 'How did you get here?'" He saw his uncle raise an eyebrow. "I'm here. You're here. I heard some other people fighting with the Dai Lee down here. How easy is it to sneak into this place?"
"Ah, I see what you're saying. The answer is actually something I figured out when I invaded Ba Sing Se several years ago: The Earth Kingdom has the worst security ever."
[[You all knew this next scene was coming.]]
Long Feng stood at the entrance to a tunnel, high up on the wall of one of his underground caverns, as he stared at the dying teenager and the Avatar hurrying to the young man's side. "Foolish boy. You've chosen your own demise."
As the man who mind-controlled him walked off, Jet slowly turned his head towards the last Air Nomad. "I'm sorry, Aang."
The Avatar knelt beside him. "Don't be."
A moment later, Toph, beside her friends, opened up a pathway in the wall. Those around the blind girl gasped as they saw Jet lying motionless on the ground and hurried towards the leader of the Freedom Fighters. As all of them stood around the fallen teen, Katara pulled water out of her pouch and wrapped it around her hands. The clear liquid began to glow as she knelt down and moved her palms back and forth along her former boyfriend's chest.
However, when the water dimmed, the Katara looked up at the others. "This isn't good."
Aang glanced at the water bender. "Lucky you have that Spirit Oasis water."
Sokka's sister sighed. "There's nothing I can do."
The Water Tribe boy snapped his fingers. "No, Aang's right. That water that Master Pakku gave you when we separated."
Hakoda's daughter slid the water back into her pouch. "His injuries are beyond what I can heal."
Toph raised an eyebrow. "Is that what that vial on a necklace is? 'Cause I remember you guys talking about water that has special healing properties."
Katara buried her teary eyes in her hands. "He's doomed."
A smile crept onto Jet's face. "Super-healing water? That's great! I'm saved!"
"It's not fair that our friends have to suffer!"
Smellerbee glanced up at the Avatar and his friends. "Even if it's back at your apartment, which I don't understand why because you told us you bumped into Jet when you were casually putting up posters, we can all hurry and take Jet back there!"
"Why didn't I take more healing lessons?"
Long Shot rubbed his chin. "Yes, with care and a little luck, he can might just make it!"
"It's hopeless! Utterly, utterly hopeless!"
All six children clutched their fists and snarled at Katara. "USE THE DAMN SPIRIT WATER!"
A/N: So the ladies of GAang take a serious hit today. I gotta say, I really don't know which one was worse. Was it Toph for not being able to distinguish three guys on the floor from a twenty-thousand pound monster? Or was it Katara for not remembering she had the Oasis water with her?
Toph: Katara. It was definitely Katara.
I don't know. That was pretty stupid of her, but you missed what was right in front of your face.
Toph: It was Katara.
The fact that she never smacks herself upside the head for forgetting about the water bugs me too. You'd think at some point, she would have gone 'Crap! I can't believe I forgot!' You, on the other hand, missed that there was a mess of guys on the ceiling and no ten-ton bison in the room.
Toph: It. Was. Katara!
Personally, I gonna say it was-.
Toph: KATARA! YOU WERE GOING TO SAY KATARA! NOW SHUT UP AND RUN THE DAMN CLOSER!
…
…
…
It was yours.
Toph: ROCK-ALANCHE OF DEATH STRIKE!
Toph! Toph! Calm down, To-!
Toph: YEAH! SEE? That's what you get! That's what you get when you mess with the greatest earth bender in the world! Get it now, Dave?
Dave…?
Dave… come on, answer me.
Come on, Dave… Stop playing asleep.
…
…
…
Uh oh.
Well… um… uh… As Dave would be saying right now, if all that… ketchup weren't coming out of his head: That's all for today, folks. I hope you enjoyed it and be sure to join us next week for Book 2: Chapter 18
The Earth King