Chapter 36: I'm A Seoul Man
In the country of South Korea, Jinpachi and his minions had just touched down in the capital city of Seoul. The four villainous creatures were rather fed up with the misfortune they had been having as of late and were hoping to finally seize the demon chi that was lying dormant somewhere around Seoul.
"This time we'll shroud that annoying Lei Team in darkness!" roared Jinpachi.
"From what you said, I'm gonna assume that it's the shadow demon chi that we're gonna find here," chimed in Feng.
"You are correct my minion," answered Jinpachi.
"If they weren't scared of the dark before, they will be soon," snickered Bryan.
"Oh yeah, revenge is definitely a dish I've been waiting to serve up!" exclaimed Eddy.
"Well then don't screw up and you'll get to serve it," commented Jinpachi.
"Will do boss!" exclaimed Eddy, Feng, and Bryan in unison.
And with that, Jinpachi and his minions continued scouring the Korean landscape to find clues as to where the shadow demon chi could possibly be. Meanwhile, the Lei Team and Dark Hand had just exited Seoul's airport and decided to waste no time in getting their noses to the grindstone.
"Home sweet home, how I love it," commented Hwoarang.
"Well then, we better keep the dark times out of your home then so you have a nice homecoming," remarked Lei.
"Indeed, that shadow demon chi is calling us, we better answer the call," chimed in Raven.
"The demon chi is calling us? My phone isn't ringing," said Dragunov.
"Bad connection drops call!" shouted Paul as he smacked Dragunov on the head.
"Let's just scour the dark depths of Seoul to find that demon chi," suggested Asuka.
"Yes, let me scour your depths," chimed in Wang. Asuka promptly slapped Wang for his comment.
"C'mon Viejo, business comes first," said King as the Lei Team and Dark Hand departed the airport and began to traverse Seoul's streets. They soon came across a shopping center and decided to look inside there to see if anything was suspicious was lying inside.
"It's too bad that we have to be in here to look for demon chi, I wanted to get some cute new clothes," pouted Xiaoyu.
"And I want some Korean barbecue, especially some kalbi," added Ganryu.
"But I'm sure we can all agree that we didn't want them here," said Lei pointing over to an area where Jinpachi and company were.
"Yeah, you're right about that Lei," piped up Steve.
"We must have a dark cloud over our head to keep running into you losers," grumbled Eddy.
"The feeling is mutual," replied Raven.
"Well this time, you will be enveloped by the darkness that we will spread," growled Jinpachi to the Lei Team and Dark Hand.
"I'd love to explore your deep dark depths," said Lee.
"Forget about that, let's just beat these guys silly like we always do," groaned Lei.
And at that moment, the song "Paint a Dark Picture" by Tech N9ne began to play as the Lei Team and Dark Hand started another fight with Jinpachi and his minions. Eddy spun around causing a tornado that sent Lee and Dragunov into a nearby fountain with a splash. Xiaoyu ran at Eddy and leapt into the air delivering her foot to his face. Raven then shoulder rammed Eddy to the ground and then stomped on his back.
"Should I make a wish?" asked Dragunov.
"Don't bother, you hold no monetary value," answered Steve as he tried to punch Feng but was met with a sweep knocking him off of his feet. Feng then spat out some fire at King who ducked under the fireball and clotheslined Feng sending him crashing to the floor hard. Ganryu then belly flopped on Feng making him yell out in pain as Paul lifted the dragon off the ground and flung him through a window.
"That's seven years bad luck for you!" yelled out Bryan as he punched Asuka in the stomach but then she retaliated with a knee to Bryan's stomach.
"It's not a mirror moron!" shouted out Lei as him and Hwoarang kicked Bryan in the face at the same time sending the white haired dragon man to the ground, Wang then stomped on his chest knocking the wind out of Bryan.
"Are you guys warriors or training dummies, get up and fight!" yelled Jinpachi.
Just then a shadowy blob engulfed the Lei Team and Dark Hand as well Jinpachi and his minions and before they knew it, everything went black for all of them.
"What the, where are we?" grumbled Lei as he awoke inside what appeared to be a dojo.
"I don't believe it, I'm home!" exclaimed Hwoarang as he looked around his surroundings. There were numerous signs in Korean plastered on the walls. Training mats and equipment were all stacked in a corner and also on the wall was a picture of Hwoarang holding a trophy.
"Wow, I didn't know you were a Tae Kwon Do champion amigo, that's pretty awesome," commented King.
"Were you still getting nailed in the groin a lot back then?" asked Xiaoyu.
"Not as much as when I met you guys," answered Hwoarang.
"Glad to see you're all awake," said a gruff voice nearby. The Lei Team and Dark Hand all turned around to see a Korean man with grayish hair done up in a short ponytail. He also had a little bit of facial hair and he was clothed in a yellow fedora along with a yellow suit coat with a white button down and black tie underneath in addition to yellow slacks and black dress shoes.
"Master Baek!" gasped Hwoarang.
"So this is the guy that trained you, it's a pleasure to meet you sir," chimed in Lei as he shook Baek's hand.
"Yes, I'm Baek Doo San. I know a lot about your excursions Lei Wulong, and I have to thank you for knocking some sense into my student until he straightened out," replied Baek.
"Hmm, he knows about our misdeeds?" inquired Steve.
"Yes, I know about everything you've done with the Dark Hand, now come here Hwoarang!" ordered Baek.
Baek pulled up a stool and sat down on it. Hwoarang walked over to where Baek was sitting and Baek pulled him down onto his lap. Baek then pulled Hwoarang's pants down and started to spank Hwoarang on his backside making his companions stifle laughter as Baek continued to spank him.
"He's never gonna live this down," whispered Ganryu to Wang.
"No he won't, I'm gonna laugh about it every day," replied Wang.
"Ok, I'm sorry about all that Master Baek," cried out Hwoarang.
"See that you never do anything like that again," commented Baek as he pulled Hwoarang's pants back up and let him get up. But before Baek could stand back up, Lee leapt onto him with his pants down.
"Ooh, do me next! Do me next!" exclaimed Lee.
"No, you'd enjoy it too much!" retorted Baek pushing Lee off of him.
"You're no fun," pouted Lee as he pulled his pants back up.
"Anyways, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" asked Baek.
"We're searching for demon chi, we found it, but then everything went black for us," answered Asuka.
"Ah, so that's why you were unconscious when I found you. Ok then, I'll go with you this time, I didn't like the look of those other four you were fighting," commented Baek.
"Excellent, good to have you on board this time, at least we won't have to worry about Hwoarang being a bad boy this time," remarked Lei.
"I feel so embarrassed now," grumbled Hwoarang.
"Can I spank Hwoarang too?" asked Dragunov.
"Pimp slaps rebellious ho!" yelled Paul as he smacked Dragunov on the head once again.
Without any more words the Lei Team and Dark Hand left the dojo with Baek in tow to resume their search for the shadow demon chi. At a Korean beach, Jinpachi and company were scouring the land to where the demon chi was.
"I can't believe this! The demon chi was in our faces and you all blacked out!" roared Jinpachi.
"Well you did as well too boss. We were all taken by surprise," chimed in Feng.
"I still don't care, I'm not going to be made a fool of again!" roared Jinpachi
Right then, a blast of fire came surging toward Jinpachi and his henchmen making them jump back in shock. Jinpachi shot a glare in the direction the fire blast came from and saw Lei and company holding the dragon talisman at them.
"Why couldn't you just disappear into the shadows?" complained Bryan.
"Sorry, but we need to stop you from polluting this beach," replied Lei.
"I should have brought my Speedo," said Lee.
"Lee, we can have a beach party later, business comes first," responded Raven.
"Hey Master Baek, what do you say to showing them Tae Kwon Do's supremacy?" asked Hwoarang.
"Sounds like fun to me my student," answered Baek.
The song "Nan Arayo" by Seo Taiji & Boys began to play as the fight began. But before anyone could throw out a punch or kick, everything went pitch black for the Lei Team and Dark Hand yet again.
"Are you serious, the shadow demon chi is upon us again," gasped Xiaoyu.
"I can't see a damn thing!" cried out Asuka.
"Don't tell me we're gonna have to fight in pitch blackness," groaned King.
"Don't fret too much, I'm sure we can beat these guys with our eyes closed anyways," remarked Lei.
"You will regret that comment," retorted Jinpachi.
"Suck on this!" yelled Feng as he let out a kick he felt it connect with someone but unbeknownst to him, he wound up striking Eddy.
"Dude, watch where you're aiming!" screamed out Eddy.
"How, I'm just as blind as you are in here," responded Feng.
"Oh yeah, eat this!" shouted Steve as he threw out a punch and could feel it connect with someone.
"Hey Einstein, I'm on your side!" shouted Ganryu.
"Einstein wasn't a fighter, he was a scientist," called out Dragunov.
"Get out of my laboratory!" shouted Paul as he smacked someone on the head.
"Ai ya, watch where you are aiming you moron!" called out Wang as he smacked Paul back for his mistake.
Just then, someone carrying a lantern appeared in the darkness, as all the fighters looked over they saw a blue skinned female wearing a pink hat with a yellow seal on it in addition to a pink Chinese styled outfit.
"Why are you blue?" inquired Raven.
"It's because I'm a ghost, my name is Hsien-Ko. I don't know why I'm here, but since you guys are having a hard time seeing the fight, I may as well offer some illumination for you," answered Hsien-Ko.
"Well that's much better, we thank you kindly for making this less chaotic for us," responded Lei as he saw Bryan standing next to him and swept him and followed up the sweep with a roundhouse sending Bryan crashing into his colleagues. Feng spit out a ball of fire which everyone barely dodged as Xiaoyu leapt at Feng and tried to deliver a bicycle kick to him, Feng blocked the attack and ducked under a back fist from Lee and did a split kick knocking them away just as Raven shoulder rammed him into Ganryu who then grabbed Feng in a bear hug before slamming him onto the ground.
"Darkness shall consume your soul," said Eddy as he nailed Steve with two quick punches and chained it into a kick to the British man's face. Dragunov tried to lift Eddy off the ground to throw him, but Eddy reversed the throw and swept Dragunov to the ground. Wang then kicked Eddy in the back making him stagger into King who slammed Eddy down with a Full Nelson drop.
"C'mon chumps, I can take you on!" yelled Bryan as he threw out a punch to Paul's gut, Paul blocked the attack and tried to uppercut Bryan, but he dodge Paul's retort at the last second. Asuka went for a cartwheel kick to hit Bryan which nailed him on the back and Lei ran in hitting Bryan in the stomach with a double palm strike and Hwoarang and Baek did double roundhouses to Bryan's head knocking him clean out.
"Enough of this, I'm doing the chi spell!" called out Wang.
"I got you covered old man," chimed in Ganryu.
"Not this time! I will not let you…" started Jinpachi before Lei, Hwoarang, and Baek all kicked Jinpachi at the same time knocking him into Hsien-Ko.
"You look like you'd have a tasty soul," said Hsien-Ko as she attacked Jinpachi.
"Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao!" chanted Wang and Ganryu in unison. Soon the darkness dissipated completely as the shadow demon chi shot up into the air and then down into the containment unit which Wang promptly sealed.
"Forget this, I'm not dealing with this Chinese vampire, I'm out of here!" yelled Jinpachi as he teleported away with his minions.
"Oh well, I shall take my leave too, you be careful on the remainder of your journey," called out Hsien-Ko.
"You too, thanks for giving us light!" called out Lei as Hsien-Ko walked off.
"Ooh, you look like you're in good shape," said a Korean girl with her black hair done up in a horn like style, she was wearing a purple and black spider like top and loose fitting white and purple pants.
"And who are you?" asked Raven.
"My name is Juri Han, and I must say your fight was a great turn on," replied Juri.
"Uh, thanks I think," replied Asuka scratching her head in confusion.
"How about you and I have a little fun baby?" suggested Juri as she walked up to Asuka and squeezed her chest.
"Hey! I'm not into that type of stuff," answered Asuka as she ran towards Lei and clutched him tightly.
"Oh, would you like him to join as well, that sounds like even more fun," said Juri in a seductive tone.
"Someone get me out of this awkward situation," complained Asuka.
Raven then threw a smoke bomb down and when the smoke cleared, Juri was left standing on her own.
"Oh well, I might as well work on my tan," said Juri as she pulled out a beach towel and lied down on it to soak up some sun.
Ask Lei segment
"Hey Lei," says a little kid.
"Yes?" asked Lei.
"What do you think of the Street Fighter series?" asked the kid.
"I have a lot of respect for that series, for without it, I feel like my series would not exist. Every other fighting game franchise in existence owes something to it and it's fun to play as well. I enjoy it highly," answered Lei.
"And so do I," replied the kid.
"SHORYUKEN!" yelled Lei.
Author's Note: Another chapter down, yeah I decided to throw Juri in there at the last minute due to the fact that I'm stoked for Super Street Fighter IV. I still plan to throw in Tekken 6 every now and then too. Anyways I'm off to go work on the next chapter so until then, please read and review.