Kimmy: Hey guys! It's been forever. I know. I don't even know.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters but I do own a copy of the new Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep game. hehehohaha.
Edward wasn't exactly sure how he got himself in this situation. It wasn't exactly his fault that the Colonel's front lawn was on fire and that Al was passed out in the bathroom with a copy of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" clutched firmly to his metal chest.
No really. This time he had nothing to do with any of this.
And if it wasn't his fault that it was most likely Al's. In this case it was most definitely Al's fault.
It all started when The Colonel asked Edward (Not Al) to please, "take care of Ralphie" while he was deployed on some mission blah blah blah for a week blah blah blah. Edward wasn't exactly sure what the Colonel had to do but it must have been important if he needed his new pet dog to be taken care of.
You see, Ralphie is this little black poodle thing that the Colonel found a month ago and unable to withstand the puppy dog eyes he had to adopt it.
The colonel won't admit it but his favorite dogs are poodles. Especially when they get those funny haircuts.
Edward agreed to take care of Ralphie while the Colonel was away for the week.
First of all, Edward thought, he shouldn't be left with such responsibilities. It was a hassle just waking up and feeding himself!
This is when he offhandly bitched about having to feed the Colonel's pet dog to Al. This, in fact, was a terrible, horrible thing to do. He regretted it as soon as the bitch fit left his lips.
Al's eyes widened and he said nothing but Edward knew. He KNEW Al was thinking something and Al thinking something was never a good thing.
There are 7 days in a week and out of those 6 days Edward has been able to successfully take care of Ralphie. Only one more day and he would be home free and that means that Al didn't actually meddle in his affairs this time!
If only he was so lucky.
Day 7 and Edward's standing in the middle of the living room wondering how the hell this all happened. He showed up and the lawn was on fire and as he ran inside to save Ralphie he was nowhere to be seen except for Al in the bathtub with Rome and Juliet.
"AL" he screams, kicking the body on the ground, "WAKE UP!"
Al grumbles and his eyes slip open and they widen. "ED," he shrieks, "WHERE IS THAT DEMON SPAWN?"
"What are you talking about!" Edward screams back, "THE LAWN IS ON FIRE!"
"So it is?" Al asks curiously.
"Yes. It is. What. Did. You. Do?"
"ME!" Al gasps, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I just came to the house to see 'Ralphie'" he air quotes, "I have never even seen this dog before so, you know, I was curious!" he pauses and takes a deep breath, "I show up and the stupid dog tries to kill me. KILL ME."
Edward stares blankly. "You are ridiculous."
"What? You don't believe me?" Al says disbelievingly.
"Al. Do you really want me to answer that. Half of what you say is not even true half the time…"
"BUT THIS TIME IT IS!"
"WHERE IS RALPHIE!"
Al shifts his eyes to the closed toilet seat and then back at Edward.
"You didn't." Is all Ed could muster out.
Al just stared on.
"I CAN NOT EVEN BELIEVE YOU DROWNED THE DOG THAT ROY ASKED ME TO WATCH. WE ARE SO DEAD WHEN HE GETS HOME!" Edward fumes and then opens the toilet lid and…there's nothing there.
"This isn't funny Al."
"I SWEAR, HE IS IN THERE!"
"But he isn't," Edward says as Al looks over his shoulder at the empty bowl.
Al steps back and then grabs Ed's arms forcefully. "EDWARD. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"
Edward just stared, shocked and maybe just a little appalled.
"He is going to kill us."
They both stared at each other for a moment and then heard a squeak and looked at the door way. A small stuffed animal sat. Staring at them with beady little eyes. It was a poodle.
Kimmy: I feel like next chapter is going to be a strange version of Romeo and Juliet directed by Al.