34. The Ties That Bind

Harry mounted the steps to Gryffindor tower and proceeded at a quickened pace toward the Portrait of the Fat Lady. His raging hard-on that had paled during his less than favorable reunion with Severus hadn't completely subsided. He desperately wanted a hot shower and to jack off, then maybe he'd head on down to dinner.

He was about to give the password when the portrait swung open unexpectedly and out stepped Neville.

"Hi'ya Harry."

"Neville!" Harry replied in surprise, "good Holiday?" he asked and then immediately wanted to kick himself for his momentary lapse of judgment.

Christmas was always a depressing event for Neville as he and his Gran would spend the entire day in the Long Term Ward at St. Mungo's visiting his parents.

But instead of the expected forlorn look, Neville beamed, "Yeah, it was great."

"It was?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Luna and her Dad came for the holidays. My Gran and Mr. Lovegood really hit it off. We went all around London to see the decorations, then on Christmas Day we went and visited my folks." He paused and looked earnestly at Harry. "Luna is so amazing."

"Why? What did she do?"

"Well … you've seen my folks; you know what it's like."

"Yeah, I know," Harry said softly.

"None of that bothered Luna … or her Dad. They chatted it up with my parents like they were normal folks. It didn't matter to them that they were the only ones doing the talking."

"Wow," Harry whispered.

"We took turns," Neville continued. "Gran and Mr. Lovegood talked to my Dad while Luna and I stayed with my Mum, then we switched. You know, Luna is always kind of in her own world anyway, so I think somehow she can relate to my Mum …" He quirked his face, knowing that perhaps his explanation was lacking.

"Don't worry; I understand what you're trying to say," Harry replied. "I'm really happy for you."

"Hallo," Luna said in her singsong voice as she approached the two wizards. She wrapped her arm around Neville and he leaned down to give her a sweet kiss.

"Hi Luna. I hear you had a good Holiday."

"Oh yes, London is marvelous in snow, and Neville's parents are delightful."

Harry was about to comment when the blond haired Ravenclaw asked enthusiastically, "Have you ever seen Mrs. Longbottom's hat?"

"Uh …" the memory of the Boggart imitating Severus dressed in Mrs. Longbottom's clothes immediately sprang into mind.

Neville saw the look on Harry's face and came to his rescue. "Come on Luna, let's go down to dinner; I'm starving."

"Oh, all right." She turned her protuberant silvery gray eyes back to Harry, "Would you care to join us?"

"Thanks … no; I have some things I gotta do," he said evasively.

"Well then, we'll see ya later."

"See ya," he called back and then watched the two lovebirds stroll away, arm in arm, and felt suddenly jealous of them. They didn't have to hide the fact that they were in a relationship, they were bonking each other and they were good for each other.

He turned back to the portrait, "Moonstone," he said forlornly.

As he crossed the empty common room, he thought, Are Sev and I good for each other? Doesn't matter if we are or we aren't, we can't do anything about the way we feel.

He climbed the stairs to the boy's dorms but when he reached their door, he saw the familiar tie hanging on the door knob. Not again.

"Oi! Who's ever in there, I need to get my …"

The door flung open to the sight of a thoroughly disheveled Hermione. "Harry!" she squealed and wrapped him in a big hug.

He cringed backward, "Mione — you're blouse."

"Oops," she did up the top couple of buttons as Harry made a beeline for his trunk to stow away his cloak.

"Where the hell have you been?" asked Ron as he got up off his bed. "We looked for you."

"I, uh … had a meeting with the Headmaster."

"You did? But how could you? He was down front greeting everyone as they came in from the carriages."

Harry froze, so did Hermione. She had noticed that his lips were a little swollen and knew immediately where he'd been and what he'd been doing.

"Um … I meant — a meeting with Remus."

Hermione stared piercingly at him and shook her head ever so slightly.

Ron's expression grew hard. "Why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying."

"Harry," Hermione's voice sounded his defeat, "Remus was standing right next to the Headmaster."

Harry shuffled awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"D'you think I'm stupid?" Ron's cheeks started to flush.

"I didn't say that."

"No, you never say anything!" Ron shouted. "You sneak off during the night and in the afternoons; you disappear for hours at a time and when I ask where you've gone — you lie."

"That's not true!" Harry yelled back.

"It is so! It's bad enough that you're keeping secrets from us; then you go and make it worse by lying!

Ron stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind him, causing a couple of the prints to fall off the wall and Neville's Mimbulus Mimbletonia to teeter off his nightstand; the terra cotta pot shattered when it hit the floor.

"God dammit!"

"Knock it off, Harry!" scolded Hermione as she went over to repair the pot.

"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" Harry complained as he flopped down on his bed. "I don't know what to do anymore."

Hermione repaired the pot then inspected the odd little plant; it seemed none the worse for wear so she returned both to the nightstand and went over to sit next to her upset friend.

"Don't you think it's time you tell Ron the truth? He's your best friend; you can't keep something this important from him. Look what it's doing to the two of you."

"I wish I could, but you know how he is … that temper of his; he'd probably try to hex Sev."

"There must be some way," she said and got that focused look on her face that always meant trouble.

"Hermione?" Harry sat up, suddenly worried, "what are you thinking?"

"I'm trying to come up with a solution to resolve this mess between you and Ron."

"Well, don't. I'll deal with it on my own."

"And a fine job you've done of it so far." She returned to her pondering and Harry flopped back down on his pillows, knowing he was done for.

~SH~

Harry hovered on the periphery of students whom had gathered around Remus as they warmly greeted their most favorite Defense teacher.

The first DADA class of the spring semester had just finished and despite the pop quiz he'd given them, the students were all delighted at his return. After all, he had arguably been the best Defense teacher they'd had during their seven year tenure at Hogwarts.

"The skills portion is only half of the test," he had reminded the seventh years regarding their fast approaching NEWTs. "The purpose of today's exam is to let me see how versed you are with the material and what areas need attention. On Thursday we will begin our review of the required skills."

Harry watched the relaxed banter between Remus and the teens; the easy comradery was completely opposite to what he'd experienced ever since their awkward encounter in front of the potions lab the previous afternoon. He had intentionally not told Severus about the event, fearing it would have just started another argument. The "clothes stay on" discussion had been bad enough, now it seemed as though he was about to have another difficult conversation, this time with Remus.

The hazel eyes fell upon him for a brief second. Next thing Harry knew, Remus was bidding farewell to the throng of students whom then filed out of the classroom.

They stood and faced each other for a long silent moment. "Thank you for staying," Remus finally said.

"Sure."

"I wish we could have spoken sooner ..."

Harry just bit his lips.

"How are you feeling?" Remus tipped his head and looked toward Harry's shoulder.

"It's fine."

Remus shifted uncomfortably, "I'm sorry that happened to you; it must have been a horrific experience ..."

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend Portkeying into wards," Harry said and forced a smile.

"Of course not." Another fatly quiet moment ensued. "I'm glad you agreed to rejoin the class," he rallied.

"Yeah me too, except I don't know how well I did on today's test; we haven't spent much time on the written material ... just the skills."

"I won't be scoring today's test, I just need the results as a basis of reference."

Harry nodded silently.

The chasm between them that had grown slowly over the years, had now clearly reached a pinnacle. As much as Remus wanted to reach out to Harry, he felt terribly tethered by the rejection that had taken place only twenty four hours previous when the teen had knowingly stood before him under his Invisibility Cloak, and had simply waited for him to go away.

But Harry was James's son, Sirius' godchild and as much as Remus was hobbled by his own challenges, he did care about the young man and wished with all his heart that things could be different between them. "Is everything all right Harry?"

Here we go. I knew he'd bring it up.

No, everything wasn't all right: he'd almost just been kidnapped, his NEWTs were in a couple of weeks and he'd recently been caught out trying to sneak in to have a snog with one of his professors. The persistent voice of guilt for the deaths and injuries that had befallen those who got close to him still harbored a spot in his heart and it told him that Remus held resentment toward him for his stupid mistake that had led to Sirius' death. And the fact that Remus was standing here after months of absence, suddenly concerned about Harry's well-being didn't make any sense whatsoever. So no, everything wasn't all right. "Yeah, everything is fine."

Another rejection made worse now by an outright lie.

Remus forced a supportive smile. "Well, if you ever need to talk to someone, please know that I'm ... available."

Harry's heart nearly stopped at hearing those words. That was exactly what Anthony had said to him, so long ago, that day they had sat on the bench in the boys' locker room. It suddenly seemed very hard to take a breath. "Okay, I'll remember." He shifted about uncomfortably, "I uh ... need to get going."

"Oh all right. Well I'll ... see you later then."

"Yeah, see ya."

Harry grabbed his bag and headed for the door, wanting — no, needing to get out of the room as quickly as possible. Ron and Hermione were waiting on the other side.

"So how did it go?"

Their query was greeted with the back of Harry's robe as he sprinted past them and headed for the stairs.

The two of them caught up with him by the time he'd reached the sixth floor. Hermione grabbed onto his sleeve — then didn't let go. "What happened?"

"Let go."

"No."

"Please."

"I will if you turn around and look at me."

Harry sighed then turned to face her but kept his gaze lowered.

She let go of his sleeve, "Are we or are we not your best friends?"

"That's not the point …"

"Isn't it?" She cast a Muffliato around the three of them. "You keep distancing yourself ..."

"You know why," he interrupted and shot a glance at Ron.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ron was still upset over the row they'd had the previous evening. "What the hell did I ever do to you?"

"You haven't done a thing," Hermione defended him then returned her attention back to Harry. "Please, you have to tell him."

"You know I can't." His whispered voice was edged with panic.

She went to take his hand but he pulled back. "Listen," she said undaunted, "I've come up with a solution."

Harry looked at her with trepidation.

"I'm sure it'll work; you just have to trust me."

He hesitated but eventually gave in. "Well, if you're sure …"

"I am. Come on … follow me."

~SH~

"We need a place to talk," said Hermione.

The trio entered the Room of Requirement and stopped in their tracks at the sight that greeted them. No doubt the room had picked up on the desperate timbre of Hermione's voice and it had responded in turn by creating the most welcoming, teen friendly sitting room it could manage. There was a large fireplace with a crackling fire, a thick fuzzy rug and dozens of squishy pillows. The young witch added extra security and silencing charms — just to be safe, and the three of them walked over and sank down on the cushions.

"Sounds like you already know what's going on Mione," Ron's hurt feelings laced his accusation.

"I do, but it's only because I guessed."

His expression turned from one of hurt, to one of accusation. "And you didn't tell me his little secret?"

"It's not a little secret," Harry snapped in reply. He was about to explain how people's lives were at risk, but before he could, Hermione answered.

"He has a valid reason for keeping all of this a secret," she stated emphatically, "but his doing so is affecting your friendship." Her voice heightened, "You're both so bullheaded!" she yelled. "Do you really want things go on the way they've been?"

Her query struck a chord for each wizard. Harry had watched his close friendship with Ron change to a superficial level: Quidditch and classes were all they could talk about, anything more and he'd continually had to lie in order to protect Severus and keep their relationship a secret.

Ron knew that things had changed between them and the way he had dealt with it was to not deal with it. But it ate at him; jokes and lighthearted conversation could only go so far. "So what's your plan?"

She pulled herself up ramrod straight and looked Ron square in the eye, "the Unbreakable Vow."

Ron stared back at her aghast. "Are you barmy?"

"That's a brilliant idea Hermione!" Harry felt like a ton of bricks had just been lifted off his shoulders.

"You're both barmy," Ron declared. "Why is it that she can know your secret outright, but I have to make the Unbreakable Vow?"

"Because you're going to have a really hard time knowing the truth … that's why," Harry said flatly.

Ron was fit to be tied. All of this to save a friendship? It seemed so unfair. And to make the Unbreakable Vow — he'd never done anything like that before in his life. But on second thought, perhaps he had.

He could have died flying on a Thestral when he'd accompanied Harry to the Ministry two summers ago; and he almost had died from that brain tentacle thing. If he had it to do over again would he have chosen not to go? No, of course he would have gone — just as he had chosen to stand by Harry's side time and time again. They were best mates and Ron would do anything for Harry.

His posture relaxed as he realized and accepted the truth. "All right, I'll do it."

The fact that Ron would knowingly put his life on the line for their friendship was a huge declaration that left Harry nearly speechless. "I, um ..." he struggled to find the words to convey what he was feeling.

Ron had to look away, "Let's just get on with it."

"All right then," Hermione's voice broke the heartfelt moment. "I'll be the Bonder."

Ron and Harry scooted closer and paused to look at each other. The significance of what they were about to undertake stared them back in the face as they grasped a hold of each other's hand.

Hermione placed the tip of her wand upon their linked hands, "Remember Harry, whatever you ask of Ron, you need to do it separately."

"Okay," he said and then collected his thoughts before he proceeded with the vow. "Will you keep what I'm about to tell you, a secret?" His voice shook as he spoke.

"Yeah, I will."

A strand of fire emerged from Hermione's wand and began to wrap itself around their joined hands.

"And even though it's hard, will you try to be supportive?"

Ron didn't like the sound of that one, since he didn't know to what it was he was agreeing to be supportive of, "I will."

A second tendril of red shot from her wand and entwined itself with the first.

"And if you can't understand the decision I've made, will you ask Hermione to try and explain it to you?"

Ron's jaw dropped at this last request. "I will," he grumbled.

All three watched in wonder as the third and final glowing filament burst forth and joined the first two to make the joined strand a thick, fiery bond.

After a brief time, the carmine rope disappeared, leaving Harry and Ron to stare at their clasped hands.

They quickly let go and shifted backward on their pillows.

"Now what?" asked Harry, feeling suddenly awkward.

"Now you tell me what the big secret is, you dolt."

"Okay, well, here it is." He folded his arms in front of him, but that must have looked too vulnerable for both his friends suddenly stared at his arms. He dropped them to his lap and took a deep breath. "I'm in a relationship."

Ron stared, "That's it? That's why I signed my life away?"

The mega silence that greeted him pointed out that he was obviously missing something. "So … who's the lucky guy?"

"S …" The word caught in Harry's throat. He blew out a sigh through his pursed lips, forced down a very dry swallow then tried again. "It's Severus."

"Severus?" Then it hit him and Ron's eyes grew unbelievably wide. "Snape? You're seeing … Snape?"

Ron got up and began to pace around the room. "I don't believe it. You've gone bonkers! How could you possibly be attracted to that greasy …?"

He stopped suddenly and clutched at his chest.

"Oh God, what have I done?" Harry jumped up and ran to his side. Hermione was there before him.

"Ron, you must try to understand. Do it now before it's too late!"

"But I don't! I can't!" He dropped to his knees and grimaced in pain.

Hermione nearly throttled Harry in her desperation. "Explain it to him!" she yelled in a shrill tone. "Hurry!"

His teenage insecurities completely forgotten, Harry grabbed a hold of Ron's shoulders and pushed him up. "He knows me better than anyone else … the same as I know him. I know all of his secrets and all of his weaknesses and he knows the same about me. Please Ron, you've got to try and understand!"

Harry didn't realize it, but tears had started to run down his cheeks. "He's so smart about all kinds of stuff, and he's funny and …" Harry managed to stop before he extolled Severus' physical attributes.

Ron grimaced, spurring Harry to give him a couple of good, hard shakes, "I love him!" He shook Ron again, "Do you hear me? I love him ... and he loves me!"

The pain ended as quickly as it had begun. Ron gasped a sudden breath of relief and then collapsed onto his back.

"Ron!" Hermione shrieked as Harry stared on in horror, the memory of Sirius falling through the veil shot across his mind.

"I'm okay, Ron panted. "Just give me a second ... to catch my breath."

They hovered over the redhead, worried and anxious. But soon enough, he reached up and pulled Hermione down to lay next to him. "I'm okay … I'm okay."

Harry fell back on his seat. "That was too close. You have to promise not to do that again," he said desperately. "You can't die … you can't."

"Believe me," Ron managed between gulps of air, "I'm with you ... on that one."

Hermione started to cry and Ron pulled her close. It was a private moment for the two of them, so Harry moved to sit over by the fire.

He leaned against the hearth and tucked his legs close to him. He wanted Severus, wanted to feel his strength and assuredness, wanted to be held and kissed — but Sev was at the Fastness tonight, just as he was most nights.

By the time Ron had recovered enough to sit up, nearly twenty minutes had passed. He saw Harry sitting next to the hearth with his arms wrapped around his legs as he stared at the embers with a glazed expression; his earlier tears had dried upon his cheeks.

Ron and Hermione moved over and sat down next him.

"Are you okay Ron?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. You?"

Harry shook his head. "I think we made a mistake … making that vow."

"No Harry, listen ..."

"You almost died Ron. None of this is worth that."

Ron reached out and gently grasped his friend's shoulder; something previously unimaginable was now an easy thing after the intensity of the Unbreakable Vow. "I was angry at you for not trusting me ..."

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that ..."

"I know what you're gonna say — that when I lose my temper, sometimes I don't make the best decisions ... right?"

Harry sagged, "Yeah."

"I admit I don't get it — you and Snape," then Ron took a hold of Harry's other shoulder and turned him so that they faced each other, "but I'm your mate, and I'll do my best to try and understand."

Harry gulped down a reluctant swallow, "There really is more to him then he lets people see," his words bounced along his shaky voice, "but he wouldn't want me to talk about him."

"That's okay. If you say he's a good bloke, then that's good enough for me."

Hermione watched these two young men who she loved with all of her heart, and sighed, "Boys."

~SH~