I do not own any characters from Sons of Anarchy. I own Sara and any other original characters.

January 2008

Sara blinked her eyes open before squinting at the sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains of her bedroom. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked over to Happy's side of the bed. Unsurprisingly, it was empty. A small sleepy smile pulled when she spotted his gun and wallet still lying where he left them; he hadn't left yet. After checking her own phone and stretching for a few minutes, the blonde climbed out of bed and pulled on loose tanktop and boyshort underwear before heading downstairs.

Happy was lounging on the couch watching TV, his tall frame stretched across its length. She spied his empty coffee cup on the table and made her way over.

"Morning." She greeted voice still hoarse from sleep. "More coffee?" She grabbed the cup not waiting for his affirmative.

"Sure." He rasped, watching her slim legs and firm ass carry her towards the kitchen with a small smirk. Her long blonde hair was tousled and hanging in waves down her back. He was struck with how much he enjoyed seeing her look like a mess in the morning. She was always so well put together in public that he took pleasure in being one of the few who regularly saw her without makeup or her hair done. She looked younger with a bare face, more like a teenager. It should have made him feel like a lecherous old man at thirty-six but he knew she liked their age difference.

"Are you checking me out, Happy Lowman?" She teased as she returned with two mugs, catching his eyes scan her body.

"Yea." He answered without missing a beat and accepting the steaming mug. It was dark but not black, with only a splash of milk. For the first time in a long time, he found himself not freaked by how closely she paid attention to his habits. Somehow by just accepting what he already knew—that she was his girl—it had eased much of his concern over the matter. He had told her how he felt and the world hadn't fallen apart around him so he let himself indulge in the bonuses of having a woman, one of which being brought hot coffee made to his liking.

He moved to lie on his side pressing his body length against the back of the couch and allowing her room to sit cross-legged in the concave of his hips and legs. She leaned her weight back to rest against him, comforted by the touch. They sipped their coffee in silence, watching the old episode of Top Gear playing on the television.

"You start work tomorrow?" He asked during a commercial break.

"Yep." She answered, popping the 'p' and staring intently at the screen to avoid meeting his eyes.

"Nervous?" He asked observing her closely. She shrugged and looked into her mug with sudden interest.

"Yea I guess. I mean weren't you nervous on your first day of work?"

"I work at a garage full of outlaws." He retorted.

"I mean like, your first real job."

"This isn't your first real job."

"It's the first real job where I've had to support myself." She pointed out and he thought on that for a moment.

"My first job was when I was fourteen. I stocked shelves in my Dad's convenience store after school." He stated and she stared at him in awe of his admission.

"What?" He asked after an uncomfortable moment of silence.

"Nothing, it's just you've never mentioned your dad before."

"You never mention your mom." He countered.

"That's different." She dismissed.

"How so?"

"She left."

"How do you know my dad didn't leave?"

"Did he?" She challenged.

"No… he was shot in a drive-by when I was fifteen." Happy finally answered flatly. It wasn't something that kept him up at night anymore but it wasn't his favorite topic to discuss. His dark eyes didn't leave her face as he watched her watch him.

"My mom left when I was ten." Sara finally admitted. "I thought at the time she just didn't want kids around anymore." She scoffed at her own ignorance. "Turns out my dad just wouldn't let her take me with her. She wanted out of the MC life and wanted to bring me with her, but he threatened her. I never knew that. I always just thought she didn't want me anymore. She ended up moving to Nebraska and remarrying. I didn't even go to the wedding, how awful am I?"

"You're not awful, you just didn't know any better. You were just a kid. I'm sure your Ma knows that."

"Now I'm an adult and I've been holding a grudge for years. You tell me all the time that I act like a child, and you're right." She sighed, staring once more into her coffee. She was ashamed of how stupid she had been for years. How she had refused to go to the wedding and refused to even talk to her mom about anything other than the most basic topics: yes she was doing well in school, no nothing was new, no she didn't want to come visit.

"Sara, you gotta let it go. Think about it this way: now you know. It's not too late to rebuild a relationship with her. You can't get that time back but you can make up for it by keeping her in your life now." Happy responded sagely. Sara nodded, mulling over his words.

"She's just such an incredible woman, you know? She's an immigrant—from Russia—"

"Wait you're Russian?" Happy asked with an amused smirk.

"Yeah, half…. Obviously. Why?"

"That explains so much."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, you just have a mean cold shoulder, that's all. Makes sense. Do you speak Russian and shit?" He asked and she blushed a little.

"I mean I used to be able to speak a little. I can still probably understand it. My mom used to talk to us in Russian when we were little, but obviously I haven't used it in a while. My dad wasn't a huge fan of her teaching it to us." She stated with an eye roll. "Anyway, my mom moved here when she was a teenager. Her dad was a real asshole—

"Sounds familiar." Happy grumbled.

"—so she ran away." Sara continued, shooting Hap a dirty look. "Met my dad and got swept away in the idea of the outlaw life. Ended up married with two kids by twenty-two."

"You're twenty-two. That could have been your life." Happy pointed out.

"It almost was." She stated with a quiet sigh. She sipped her coffee as he chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to decide what he wanted to say next.

"You want that life? Kids and all that?" He finally asked.

"I thought I did. I mean, I was all set for that life with Ryan but now that I'm here and living this new life with a new job and being my own person, I don't know if that's still something I want. Maybe someday, but I guess I'm just not in the hurry I was in before." She answered honestly and he blew out a relieved breath.

"What, nervous I'm gonna trap you with a baby?" She teased and he blanched a little at the idea. Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh my god. You are."

"No! It's not that I think you are going to try and trap me—which wouldn't work by the way—I just don't want you wakin' up someday soon and wantin' a baby or something."

"You don't want kids?" She asked, curious. It was his turn to shrug.

"Don't know. Carseat don't exactly fit well on the back of a Harley." He brushed the topic off, not wanting to talk about babies any more.

"Was that why you freaked out so much when I wanted to stop using condoms?" She asked blatantly. So much for not talking about it anymore.

"No. Kind of. I don't know." He sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm gonna tell you something that most people don't know 'bout me." He started, swallowing and glancing at her before looking back at the ceiling.

"Hap—you don't need to tell me anything that you don't want to…" She eased and he tried to give her a gracious look although he was sure it came out looking more grim than he intended.

"It's fine. You should know if we are gonna do… whatever we are doing."

"You mean date?" She supplied with a teasing smirk, knowing he hated the term.

"That sounds so stupid."

"Fine, 'be together'." She amended with finger quotes and an eyeroll.

"Yeah. That. Anyway, shortly after my dad was killed, I was diagnosed with severe OCD and anxiety." His voice was barely above a whisper. "Doctors said it was probably a coping mechanism or whatever. I used to have these fucking terrible panic attacks all the time, and my OCD would get so bad I could barely function. I would wash my hands until they were bloody or keep checking the locks on the doors over and over and over again for an hour. I was positive that I would somehow leave it unlocked by accident then someone would come in at night and kill my Ma or something. It really got in my head."

"Jesus Christ, Hap. How the fuck did you end up able to do the shit you do with all this going on?" She asked, alarmed for his mental health. Surely a man with his history shouldn't be going around killing people.

"It actually kinda helps, ironically. There's an order to it, I find it soothing. Plus I'm on a bunch of meds. The OCD ain't much of a problem now, but sometimes I still get panic attacks."

"That's what was going on the other night." She concluded with a sigh. "Why didn't you say anything then?"

"Partially because I didn't want you to know. Don't want most people to know. But it was also more than that. I was just freaking out about thinking you wanted some crazy kinda commitment from me, and that my life would somehow drastically be changed by being with you."

"So are you having second thoughts about us?"

"Not right now. But I might at some point. I don't date. I don't do shit like this. It's new to me. Just need you to know that I might freak out again at some point. I know I hurt you and yelled at you and made you feel like shit and I'm sorry, but I can't say it ain't gonna happen again." He grumbled, meeting her eyes.

"Why, Happy Lowman, did you just apologize to me?" She teased, but gave his bicep a squeeze in response.

"That's what you got from all that?" He sighed, feigning annoyance.

"I understand Hap. Thank you for trusting me." She stated, leaning over to give him a gentle kiss. "Look at us having an actual adult conversation." She mused, setting her coffee on the side table and snuggling down next to Happy's body. He set his own mug next to hers and wrapped a strong, muscular arm around her middle.

"Well it was bound to happen eventually. Let's just not make a habit of it, kay?" he teased, leaving a trail of kisses down the curve of her neck. She felt his body mold to hers from behind, his hips pressing against her rear firmly. "So I hear make-up sex is supposed to be fantastic." He mumbled, dragging his teeth across her pulse point.

"We already had the make-up sex. That was last night. And it was fantastic."

"We can't still be making up?" He inquired with a scoff.

"No I think it's just regular sex at this point." She stated, shifting to her back to face him.

"Are you sure that's how this works? I'm pretty sure we can still be having make-up sex." He teased, sliding a calloused hand from her thigh across her hip and under the loose black tanktop she was wearing.

"If you want I can be a bitch or something to piss you off, so we can make-up again." She offered with a giggle as he moved to position himself over her.

"If that's the case then we've been having make-sex for weeks." He teased and she shoved him playfully. He gave her a rare grin and pressed his hips into hers as her legs wrapped around his hips. Her fingers traced his bare ribs as she lifted to kiss him. He shuddered under her gentle touch and she giggled.

"'mnot ticklish." He grumbled against her lips, reading her mind.

"Sure." She placated before reaching up and pulling him down for another kiss. His tongue pressed into her mouth, dominating the kiss as he ground himself against her eliciting a soft moan.

"I need to go grab a condom." He mumbled, pulling his lips from hers and moving to her collarbone. She tilted her head to give him more room and her fingers squeezed his strong biceps when he licked a particularly sensitive spot.

"Or… you could just… not." She offered as he paused and pulled his head back.

"Really? You wanna push this again after the issues it created last time? We already settled it last night." He scoffed. She shrugged innocently and looked up at with a sweet smile. He rolled his eyes.

"No." He answered firmly. "Not doing it."

"Why not?" She groaned dramatically.

"Because I need to get tested first." He stated, annoyed that he needed to reiterate the point.

"Fine. But do you promise to actually get tested and not just say that you are gonna and lie to me and not actually go?" She asked trying to sound firm in her request. He smirked a little but nodded.

"Fine. I'll get checked, you annoying brat."

"Good. Now go get a condom." She commanded and he moved off of her to head towards the bedroom upstairs.

"You better not be wearing clothes when I get back." He shouted over his shoulder as he took the stairs two at a time.

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews guys! Glad you are all still very much enjoying the story. This chapter felt a bit OOC for me, but I needed them to have a mature conversation for once, so I'm sorry if you guys aren't into it, but it needed to happen for them to move forward. Anyway, hopefully more updates to come soon, but in the meantime tell me your thoughts! Anything you really want to see happen? Thirsting for some sexy scenes?