Title: You Can't Hurry Love but You Can Hurry Brittany Because Her Mom Is Impatient
Brittany S. Pierce here, don't have a lot of time. My mom's waiting in the car for me so we can go to my Cousin Randy's house for the weekend. I'll try and give you full updates from my phone soon, but for now, comment!
(130 Comments – Post a New Comment)
BadNewsBrittany wrote: I tyioped thios weoth myyy nosdde
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Not even I can interpret that.
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: Clearly she said Rachel Berry is the most talented person in glee club
- LysdexicSam wrote: Actually she said, "I typed this with my nose."
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: I think that's the most impressive thing you've ever done, Sam.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: That's right Sam!
- LysdexicSam wrote: well… it made perfect sense in my mind.
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Brit-Brit, I loved that Michael Jackson song we were listening to yesterday
- SuspenderMan wrote: PYT?
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Rock With You. Not that it's any of your business.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: We really did rock the night away
JizzyJacob wrote: What oldies song currently describes your feelings and/or situation right now?
BadNewsBrittany wrote: This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole or I Hear A Symphony by the Supremes
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Easy – The Commodores.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Okay okay. Brit-Brit you didn't have to text me from Randy's… I choose Someday We'll Be Together by the Supremes
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: My Guy… Mary Wells. Well, that would be my song. If only I had a boyfriend… preferably one named Finn.
- Finntastic5 wrote: I'll Be Around by The Spinners
- PuckerUp wrote: LET'S GET IT ON… MARVIN GAYE. HE'S THE MAN.
- LysdexicSam wrote: Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)
- AintTooProudToBegForTots wrote: Ain't Too Proud to Beg (For Tots)… you know, the remix
- QueenQuinn wrote: Where Did Our Love Go – Diana Ross
- LysdexicSam wrote: I change my mind. Mine is BAC by the Jackson 5. I mean… ACB. BCA? No… that's not right either. ABC! That's it.
- HummelNotHummus wrote: Just One Look – Doris Troy
- IWasBornAWarblinMan wrote: Reach Out I'll Be There! It's in my natural key. Oh, I can picture it now. With the other Warblers backing me up and some glorious step choreography. Not to mention our uniforms. The uniforms, I tell you!
SuspenderMan wrote: Brittany, your song selections were so romantic
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: heh, yeah… about that… I was actually talking about Lord Tubbington.
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Hey Brittz, remember that time I pretended to be Lord Tubbington when I wrote into the school newspaper?
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Lolz yes.
PorMyselfACrantini wrote: 35 Bontempo Road… that's where I'm squatting again, in case you were wondering, sugars! If ya swing by with chicken wings, I got a class of wine with your name on it! Two if you bring ranch dressing! Haha! No seriously… I'm bribing you kids with alcohol. Show up soon. I'm hungry. Puck, I can expect to see you there, right?
- PuckerUp wrote: SURE. I'LL JUST BRING MY LADY FRIEND, LAUREN
- PorMyselfACrantini wrote: That'll cost ya. I want BBQ sauce as well. And maybe some breadsticks.
- LaurenSmackdownZizes wrote: Not so fast, Puckerman. What kind of wine are we talking about? The kind that's too French for you to pronounce or the three dollar bottle of Arbor Mist from Walmart?
- PorMyselfACrantini wrote: The boxed kind, of course!
- LaurenSmackdownZizes wrote: We're in.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: April, how many times do I have to tell you not to- wait! Did you just say breadsticks? From Breadstix? I'll be there with a wheelbarrow full of them. Save me the first glass. I don't care if it's in a Solo cup!
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: See, Santana? And you thought you had nothing in common with April.
BadNewsBrittany wrote: Why do they sell Solo cups in packs? Isn't that a contradiction?
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: You're back from Randy's! I missed you.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: So clingy… Gosh… JK. I was only gone two days… but I missed you too!
Finntastic5 wrote: Puck, what's your favorite phrase?
- PuckerUp wrote: THUG LIFE
- Finntastic5 wrote: What if you drank a lot of coffee?
- PuckerUp wrote: MUG LIFE
- SuspenderMan wrote: What about if you liked dogs a lot?
- PuckerUp wrote: PUG LIFE
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: What if you had boobs?
- PuckerUp wrote: JUG LIFE
- LaurenSmackdownZizes wrote: What if you moved really slowly?
- PuckerUp wrote: SLUG LIFE
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: What if you were an insect?
- PuckerUp wrote: BUG LIFE
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: That's not my favorite Pixar film, but it's okay I guess.
BadNewsBrittany wrote: Nip slip!
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Brittz you've had more nip slips than the Duggars have kids.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: You say that like it's a bad thing
InfinityGoldStars wrote: Why did nobody tell me about Bontempo Road?
- QueenQuinn wrote: Because we already had a party pooper.
- Finntastic5 wrote: Hey! It's not my fault the wine was already gone by the time I got there
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Yes it is. You could've gotten there sooner.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: You whined enough as it was, Finn. Get it? Wine… Whine? Ha.
PorMyselfACrantini wrote: Sandra from Oakcrest Realty be damned, that was the best squatter party since that time I snuck into Graceland and made myself cozy with Elvis' ghost in the Jungle Room!
InfinityGoldStars wrote: No one ever invites me to these things and sometimes it really pisses me off. I am psychic though, so I predict I'll be a socialite when I live in New York. Like Blair Waldorf without Gossip Girl. Or Serena. Or Dan. Or Chuck. Or Nate.
- HummelNotHummus wrote: That's not much of a show then. By the way, I wasn't aware that you watched Gossip Girl.
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: I don't. I looked it up on Wikipedia.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: I like One Tree Hill… It's too bad they're cancelling it. But at least I can die happy now. Well, hopefully not for a really long time.
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: So Schmachel, I've been wondering this for a while now. How exactly do you get negative points on a Glist?
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: Well whoever made it must have a vendetta against me. So that means… Well, it means there's a long list of people who could've done it. Sunshine didn't go to McKinley back then so that eliminates her. At that point you and I weren't exactly rivals, but we did have a mutual dislike or each other, so I'm going to say tentatively that it wasn't you.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: If it were me you'd have a lot less than negative five points.
LysdexicSam wrote: Santana, uh, it's Sam. Can I visit the twins now?
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: What twins might you be referring to?
- LysdexicSam wrote: You just want to make me say it, don't you?
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: I'm waiting…
- LysdexicSam wrote: The set that lives on your ribcage.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: You forgot rambunctious, but close enough.
BadNewsBrittany wrote: Nip slip again!
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: It's not a nip slip if you pull your clothes down on purpose.
MChanganator wrote: Brittany, if you had to go into the Witness Protection Program, what would you want to change your name to?
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Britney. Since I got over my fear of being compared to Britney Spears.
- LadyDemonTina wrote: You'd change your name from Brittany to Britney? I think you have to make it something completely different.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: How would you know, Tina Cohen-Chang? If that's your real name.
- LadyDemonTina wrote: What do you mean if that's my real name? Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Sounds kind of made up to me. Like maybe you know what it's like to have to start all over in a new town with a new life and a new name, if you catch my drift.
- LadyDemonTina wrote: Brittany, you've known me since like first grade. You convinced that kid to cut off all my hair on Valentine's Day when he asked you for advice because he liked me.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: It could've happened before first grade.
- MChanganator wrote: You are denying it an awful lot, Tina.
- LadyDemonTina wrote: I'm NOT in the Witness Protection Program
- PuckerUp wrote: I DUNNO. THAT'S TOTALLY SOMETHING SOMEONE IN THE WPP WOULD SAY.
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Sam, Angelina Jolie called. Your lips are officially bigger than hers so she's suing.
- LysdexicSam wrote: You have big lips too!
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: How dare you insult my luscious lips? If you thought the Wrath of Khan was bad wait until you see the Wrath of Santana!
PuckerUp wrote: SPEAKING OF LIPS, BRITTANY DID YOU SHARE YOUR LIPSMACKERS WITH COACH BEISTE?
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: No. Why? Did she taste like Dr. Pepper?
- PuckerUp wrote: NO I DIDN'T KISS HER. HER LIPS JUST LOOKED EXTRA SHINY TODAY.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Maybe she has her own Lipsmackers. Or maybe she borrowed Sam's Chapstick.
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Brit-Britz, you look kinda funny with your hair like that.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: I woke up like a few minutes ago… quit making fun of me! I will tickle you.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: You're the one who wanted to Skype before school this morning… so good luck tickling me through the computer.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Just you wait until I see you in person…
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: oh I'm so frightened! Not! You're the worst tickler ever.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Well you shed worse than Lord Tubbington!
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Oh my God that was one time! And my mom bought me that cheap-ass weave! It wasn't my fault!
- AintTooProudToBegForTots wrote: I know all about them weave troubles. Believe.
HummelNotHummus wrote: Thought I saw a little bit of stubble this morning. Turns out it was just lint.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Rachel will probably have facial hair before you will. Just sayinnn'
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Quinn, I heard there was a sting operation going on at Dudley Road.
- QueenQuinn wrote: What? I live on Dudley Road… how did I not hear about this?
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Yeah. Turns out your mom was running a prostitution ring. I'm guessing you have no idea how many strangers had sex in your bed.
- QueenQuinn wrote: You're such a liar and a bitch, Santana.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
SuspenderMan wrote: Brittany that was… an interesting date.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: What happened? Did you break up? Did you cry, Fartie? Is it on camera?
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: No… nothing like that. We saw a comedian in Columbus and I heckled the opening act. Then I made the headliner guy laugh and I got so excited because they say if you make a comedian laugh, you get three wishes.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: I don't know if I've heard that one, but continue. What did you say to make him laugh?
- SuspenderMan wrote: She asked him if he knew what the Washington Monument was really for.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: And then I said it's a dildo for giants!
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: I don't think he was expecting that. But I already made my first wish. Now I'm just waiting for it to come true.
JizzyJacob wrote: Brittany, your column is so popular that Principal Figgins has decided to let you read the morning announcements over the intercom! He just told me today. He said he tried to find you, but you kept avoiding him by ducking into the bathroom. He figured he could follow you in there, since you went into the men's room, but he thought that might be a little creepy.
- BadNewsBrittany wrote: Silly Fig Hands. The morning announcements are for kids. I'm interviewing for a summer intern position at the Lima Times. I sent them a bunch of my articles already. But I guess maybe I could be persuaded if he lets me have free reign over what I'm announcing.
BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Finn, I saw you doing that crossword puzzle with a pen. Come on.
- Finntastic5 wrote: So? I'm really good at those things.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Come on. Really? You're trying to tell me you're some sort of puzzle savant?
- Finntastic5 wrote: Crossword, Sudoku, Rubik's Cube, Jigsaw. You name it, I solve it.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Well damn, you should probably alert the government. We might see World Peace during our lifetime!
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: You're being facetious, aren't you?
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Yes. Yes I am.
QueenQuinn wrote: Rachel, you should probably bring back the pantsuit. It was such a good look for you.
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: Oh great. You're being facetious as well.
BadNewsBrittany wrote: Rachel, when is the next Renaissance Club meeting? I want to show them my crossbow since the Archery Club said I couldn't bring it.
IWasBornAWarblinMan wrote: This sure is nice, getting to interact with all of Kurt's friends at McKinley.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: All right, if any more of you Warbnerds decided to join in on my best friend's blog, I will shut this whole operation down!