Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, et al.

Author's Note: Thank you for following this story, enjoy and please do tell me what you think, it would mean a lot.

Chapter 15 – These Are Days – Part 4 of 4

Meredith held Derek's hand as they stepped through the temple archway and walked down the winding pathway toward the beach and the old temple location. The air was warm and sticky – the morning sun high in the sky – the hot wind pressed against them ... but they would not be deterred. She held her breath now – for their time here was limited and she wanted to savor it – she wanted to hold onto that all-consuming aura of love and peace she felt whilst inside the temple walls ... she wanted to hold on and never let go. She sighed and braced herself against the salty breeze that barreled down the natural wind tunnel made from the temple wall on one side and thick bamboo shoots on the other.

Derek squeezed Meredith's hand, pulling her near as he watched her hair whip up, shrouding her beautiful face and eyes from his view as she let out a big yawn, reminding him once again of the early hour. For with less than two weeks left on the island and the promise of heavy rain for the next few days, an early morning visit to the temple seemed more than appropriate, and it was – being inside the temple walls always grounded them – both together and apart from one another and even more so for Derek since he allowed himself to let go of the residual guilt he'd harbored for not being with Meredith when she learned about the baby. And as he let go – a little more each time – it allowed him to move, to heal beyond those regretful feelings and just own it ... and live it, become a father – fuse him to the baby in a powerful way – far surpassing his expectations.

He smiled now – trying to make his way back to that powerful feeling of love and acceptance – as he turned his head towards Meredith and watched her sari blow in the wind behind her – the wrap portion whipping away revealing her lean, tanned thigh – she giggled and pulled the edge down and pressed on. Derek shook his head and draped his arm around her shoulders as they neared the end of the pathway, taking a deep breath of the spirit-filled air, the steps to the beach just ahead. They stood at the top of the steps for a beat before Derek slipped his shoes off. He held Meredith's hand as she did the same and then he leaned down to collect the shoes. Meredith held her bag open and Derek dropped them inside.

Meredith took his hand then and the pair walked down the old stone steps – just feet away from the pristine beach now – the salty air, the bright blue Indian Ocean calling for them, drawing them in as they stepped into the warm white sand and sighed together – their destination, Pura Penataran, the stone gateway-tower of the original temple (dating back to the 1500's) – in plain sight now and it was more than spectacular –suspended in time for over five-hundred years with no sign of crumbling – standing tall and proud against the bright blue ocean and cloudless sky. The warm ocean breeze was gentler now – with no restrictions, no structural markers to change its course – nothing to guide it now as it moved freely just the way it was meant to. They came to stand shoulder to shoulder in front of the relic – dwarfed by its size and significance – taking in the simple beauty of what was once the prominent entryway to the temple … they could do little else but crowd together and sigh, no words could suffice.

"It's stunning, it's it?" Meredith whispered, her words carried off into the wind now – the crashing waves and their ricochet against the temple wall was the only sound she could hear – even her heartbeat was muted.

"It is," Derek agreed. "The energy alone …," his voice trailed off – for he was unable to articulate more than that – his feelings were just too immense.

So instead, he let his words move into the wind, joining Meredith's sentiments somewhere out over the vast ocean because there were no words … or perhaps there were too many words. For Derek, much like Meredith, had traveled in his life and seen some pretty amazing relics – mostly European – and yet, neither one could recall feeling the way they felt here – on this island – surrounded by the deep cultural meaning of Balinese life and traditions.

And whether it be …

The journey or …

The company or …

Their soul connection …

It didn't matter because in the end it was nothing short of magical – they were finally spiritually aligned – and perhaps the greatest magnifier they had encountered was: each other.

Meredith reached for Derek's hand without looking away from the ancient gateway. "From behind the temple wall, it looks like it could be carried out to sea …," she said softly. "Doesn't it … it looks so old and nicked," she continued, completely captivated. "But really it's strong … it's not weak at all," she mused.

Derek ran his thumb over the fleshy part of Meredith's hand, silently grounding himself. "I keep thinking about how it's still here – how all of this history is still here – after the wave … crashed …," he replied, staring at the relic, shielding his eyes with his other hand as he looked into the bright sky.

"Ketut said the temples – both the old and the new – are serving their purpose here, a constant reminder – to stand tall and proud – making a silent plea for the villagers to join in and remember and revel in their fortitude," Meredith explained.

"Well, it does that for me … certainly is thought provoking," Derek mused, so much on his mind these days.

Peace. Acceptance. Love. Trust. Meredith. Baby. Bali. Wayan. Rain. Seattle. Rain. Clinic. Ketut. Owen. Solace. Reluctance. Leaving. Cutting. Cabin. Home. Home. Home. Life. Wayan. Baby. Meredith. Baby. Meredith. Trust.

"What's on your mind?" Meredith asked, drawing him from his private reverie.

"Too much," he confessed.

"Tell me," Meredith said as she moved, leading him down the beach toward the clinic, they could walk from here without going to the street level.

Derek looked at Meredith as they walked, her eyes remained focus on the endless beach ahead – the salty air filling their lungs, the sand in between their toes – silently reminding him of the small details he loved. He smiled at Meredith's surety as she walked with purpose.

"Giving the key to Ketut last night … we're wrapping up here, it's everything …," he said, unable to find a concise place to start.

"She'll be fine Derek," Meredith soothed, looking up slightly, allowing the morning sun to press against her face.

"And Wayan?" he asked softly, hoping against all hope that everything would play out in the future just like he envisioned – that Wayan's mother, Made, would be open to the trust – and that Ketut would have success with the clinic. It was everything and so much more.

"He will be too," Meredith smiled. "We'll always be connected now," she said thoughtfully.

"This whole time has been about that … connecting the dots," Derek said wistfully as Meredith came to stand in front of him. God, she was gorgeous. He smiled weakly.

"It's heart-aching to leave isn't it?" she said as she let her bag drop to the ground.

"Yes," he said, drawing her closer.

"Because I think we'll never be the same and you know …," she smiled, moving Derek's hair away from his brow. "I'm happy for that – I love that – my time here, it's been a million times more meaningful because you're with me and because of this baby …," she sighed, collecting her tears in her eyes.

Derek closed the small distance between them, cherishing his lover, his lifeline for the moment, searching to make it last. "I can't … imagine my life without this experience, without this baby on the way … without you … I'm forever changed …," he breathed into her damp hair. "I love you," he said softly.

Meredith pulled back and smiled. "I love you … so much," she replied, for words beyond those three were not necessary.

"We'll be okay," Derek said, captivated by her intense green eyes, still glassy with unshed tears. He lead her down to the water, they stepped into the small waves without looking back.

"All of us – even Owen – I think … it seems you've made some headway," Meredith said, lifting the edge of her sari up, the small waves lapping at her ankles.

"Yes," Derek answered, his feet sinking into the wet sand now. "I hope …," he said, letting one of his fears go.

"He's grown," Meredith offered, lacing her fingers with Derek's. "He's stronger … more connected," she encouraged. Derek sighed and Meredith turned into him, clasping her arms low around his waist. She pressed a kiss to his chest.

"Yes … he is," Derek said. "Come here," he muttered, ducking his head down before he swiftly captured her lips with his.

He wasted no time before he deepened their kiss, wanting nothing more than to connect – with her – right here, right now … feeling a sharp pang to release some of his emotions, but preferring to do it without words, for all he needed to ground himself (most of the time) was a kiss from Meredith. One kiss and everything would melt away – the world and all of its problems – gone with the wind and that's what he wanted as he kissed her now …

To find solace in her capable arms …

To find comfort in her healing hands as she held him where she wanted him …

To find her …

Just her …

His woman …

His everything …

For she was all he ever needed and wanted and craved and lived for and cherished and … loved.

Meredith pulled away ever so slightly now, sighing breathlessly while her sweet essence commingled with the salty air creating a paradox of its own as she brushed her lips against his once more – kissing him – slow and easy and everything in between.

The lovers turned away from the ocean and headed back to Meredith's bag, the steps up from the beach to the street level, right in front of them now. Meredith took a couple of larger steps and ended up in front of Derek and he watched her go – her rich aura following her as she went, the sun cascading down around her now – she looked like an angel. He sighed. He would miss seeing her here – under the bright sun and endless blue sky – marveling once more at what this island had done to her.

"Meredith," he called out to her. She stopped and turned around, her green eyes shining, her aura radiant.

"Hmm?" she murmured, at a loss for words.

She smiled instead as he stole her breath away – the bright blue Indian Ocean shrouding him, the sparkle of the water against the sun, dangerously close to the sparkle in his own eyes – she sighed at all that had happened to him since their reunion and melted a little bit (again) at the thought of growing their baby. Her hand found her belly as he walked up the beach.

"Will you …," he breathed, reaching for her hands. He laced his fingers through hers and brought their hands between them – palm to palm – he smiled as they leaned into one another. "Will you come away with me before we leave this island?" he asked with a small smile.

"Yes," she answered, her smile never fading. She pushed against his hands and found his eyes again. "But where on earth would we go from here," she wondered out loud with a giggle.

He smiled. "To Ubud," he whispered. "And then to Pura Besakih," he said, never taking his eyes off of her, he pushed back.

"The high holy mountains …," she smiled at her lover.

"It's an idea," he said. "And a way to finish this spiritual journey … after our assignment is over, we'll have a week to spare before I have to speak with Richard …," he rambled on, but smiled all the same. There was no doubt, Derek wanted her up there in those mountains, he wanted to see her there and live the moment with her. She smiled and pressed against his hands.

"Sounds perfect," she whispered, already lost in the deep sea of his eyes. "I'll have you all to myself," she mused, giggling as she released his hands and covered her mouth over his with a lingering kiss, all the while her mind was wild – Ubud, Derek, Ubud – yes, she was excited, for hoped making their collective dreams come true might make it easier to leave this blessed place when the time came.

###

Derek waved to Made as the couple made their way down the small street from the beach to the clinic. They walked down in the shade, the sun peeking through the large palm leaves overhead – life was in action now, no sign of the tsunami remained – as villagers bustled and smiled and smiled and bustled all around them. Derek held the door for Meredith as she walked into the clinic only to find Owen on his cell phone, pacing the small space, running a circuit …still running in circles?

He was listening intently to his caller, but nodded to his cohorts and smiled – his face light and cheerful – and Meredith couldn't help but wonder if her friend actually got some sleep. He held up one finger and handed a familiar bound file to Meredith. The couple looked down at the label as Owen disappeared down the small dim hallway.

Personal & Confidential: Dr. Owen Hunt

Somali and Ethiopian Refugee Camp

Extended Triage Clinic

Ahwar, Yemen Coast

Meredith swallowed hard just pondering the contents of the Doctors Without Borders dossier, fully aware of the wrath she would find within – should she dare herself to open the file and see for her own eyes where her dear friend was headed – where he stationed himself. She silently wept inside … unable to move her eyes from the file label as the words became as blurry and jumbled as the thoughts that raged in her mind. She flashed her wet eyes up and met Derek's – she felt his warm hand pressing low on her back – wordlessly calming her, offering any kind of peace he could. Meredith set her bag down on the desk and sat down in defeat … consumed with worry already.

"Meredith," Derek said, taking the seat next to her. He placed the file on the desk. He looked to her, quite sure nothing he would say to her would allay her fears.

"I don't even want to open it," she whispered, her eyes met Derek's – calm me, soothe me, make my heart stop shaking – she pleaded silently. "He's taking it … he's going … I just …," she sighed in disbelief.

"You thought he'd take a break," Derek offered.

"I did," she said, leaning in to his heat as he draped his arm around her shoulders. She relaxed, seeking solace while her mind wandered for a beat.

Thinking now about how much her life had changed since she set foot on this island – how remarkably different the outcome was from what she expected – thinking now about how emotional she felt, how things came together because she took the risk to change her life, change her destiny, her fate by surviving all that her life in Seattle had become. She thought Owen had moved and changed and grew in some ways along with her and Derek … but maybe … maybe he still needed that inspiration, maybe she and Derek and Larissa and Peter were not enough. And maybe they never would be.

"He's been at this a long time … it's hard to break cycles, we know that …," he counseled, interrupting her train of endless thoughts.

"The human condition – we condition ourselves – I know …," she sighed lamely. "It doesn't make it any easier to accept his unwillingness to really live Derek," she persisted.

"What did you think? That he would just up and leave … come with us, go to Australia …?" Derek asked, offering the scenarios that had crossed his mind.

"I don't know what I thought," she chuckled nervously. "I'm – I'm not myself, I'm hyper-sensitive – I don't even want to think about him there ..," she said, pointing to the file label before she forced herself to open it.

"He's grown … he's changed, we know that, maybe this next one will mean something else," Derek offered, scanning the opening paragraphs of the document.

"You really think so … that he won't compartmentalize this experience?" she asked, her eyes also scanning the document.

"I do … I hope so …," Derek sighed.

"Me too," she whispered into the space between them. "Otherwise what was all this for?" she asked quietly.

The couple was silent for a beat – each lost in the words before them – their minds processing the horror, the plight, the circumstances of the Somali and Ethiopian refugees. Meredith's hand instinctually found her belly, silently calming herself as she absorbed the situation.

Beautiful people. Innocent children. Waves of sad eyes. Dangerously overcrowded boats. Beaten by their smugglers. Bruised and broken and torn. Battered. Lost in the deep sea. Parents separated from children. Families torn apart. More than five-hundred refugees. Starvation. Malnutrition. Dehydration. Disease. Blood. Sweat. Tears. Lost yet found. Thrown out to sea in their desperate escape from their war-torn states. Wide yellow eyes. Loss of spirit. Loss of self respect. Loss. Loss. Loss. Babies. Children. Mothers. Fathers. Families gone, perished. Scars are souvenirs.

Meredith sighed heavily, fever pricked her skin and it wasn't at all from the sticky, hot air. "Derek," she whispered. "They need him …," she relented, looking away from the file to find his eyes.

"I suppose they do," he said sadly, dropping a kiss to her forehead. She closed the file and everything was quiet for a beat.

Owen loped happily into the room, his voice interrupting their raging minds. Meredith smiled weakly – her brain still flooded with dark images – Derek ran his hand up and down her back and also smiled at his friend.

"It's Peter," he announced happily as he engaged the speaker phone.

"So … lovers, I hear we have 'Meri House' then," he chirped happily into the line, the players could see his smile

Meredith smiled. It was always good to hear Peter's voice. "We do … thank you Peter," she said with a smile, although she maintained a curious eye on Owen as she spoke – was it business as usual for him – something told her it was not. "And your parents," Meredith added. "You'll make sure to thank them –"

"Of course darling – you know, anything for their dear boy – I must confess, Meredith dear … the guilt card is always a safe play," he cackled conspiratorially.

The players laughed at his antics – but couldn't argue with his logic – especially if it garnered results like 'Meri House'. Meredith smiled and looked between Derek and Owen for a beat – one hand resting comfortably along her belly now – as she absentmindedly ran her fingers along the file label. She glanced down – Somali, Ethiopian Refugee, Camp, Extended Triage, Ahwar, Yemen – a world away in more ways than distance … her heart went nuts and somehow a chill passed over her heated skin.

"The attorneys should have everything set before we all leave – just about two weeks to go – but …," Derek sighed, taking Meredith's hand in his. "It looks like we'll always be in touch ..," he continued.

"Which is where the joy comes in … right?" Owen chirped up.

Meredith and Derek's head snapped up, each focusing on their friend now – was this the same man? Perhaps Derek was right – maybe some growth and survivorship and inspiration had been found – maybe the world would start to look differently after their bond, his continued connection with the island and the villagers and his friends. Meredith smiled and caught Derek smiling too.

"Dare I say it again old chap … you sound good!" Peter's happy voice boomed through the line. "First he comes up with this fishing idea and now this idea of joy!" he continued. "Meredith, where is my old brooding boy and what have you done with him?" he laughed like the devil, his cackle hanging in the humid air all around them.

"Fishing?" Meredith asked; her curiosity and amusement, evident.

"Yes, fishing," Owen said; a hint of mischief and excitement in his voice.

"The old boy's meeting me off the coast of Tahiti when our time on Bora Bora is concluded – Larissa, my love will take off – and we will go deep sea fishing for a week … with a guide of course!" he explained happily.

"A week," Derek mused with a smile, unable to hide his surprise.

"A week," Owen confirmed. "The timing worked out – it's all about timing – if I remember correctly," he added, locking his smiling eyes with Meredith's.

"That's wonderful news," Meredith sighed happily, her eyes finding Derek's briefly before she turned back to Owen.

And as she listened to Derek decline their invitation to join them – this time – she wordlessly pushed the file away slightly and sat back in her chair, choosing instead to focus on hearing more about this fishing expedition – more about what could be the start of a new path – a new direction for her dear friend and forever confidant.

###

Derek stood over the desk and carefully peeled the last of the mango skin away. He put the peel into a small plastic bag before he began to slice the juice fruit. They'd gotten in from an early dinner about an hour ago, just as the heavy rain began. He could hear it now splattering along the window – endless, haphazard drops – forcefully reminded him of Seattle, once again bringing the reality of their situation – they're eventual departure – to the forefront of his mind. His eyes roamed over the book titles for a beat, he spotted the Doppler on the chair next to the desk. He smiled.

"So, Bailey's excited," came the soft timbre of Meredith's voice from behind him.

"She is – I saved her message for you – but you know …," Derek said as he put the last of the mango slices on a small white plate. He turned around to find Meredith sitting against the back of the bed, her legs crossed Indian style, wearing nothing but a bright white tank top and a pair of panties. He crossed the room and handed Meredith the plate. He leaned down and pumped her lips with his, once, twice. "Hmm," he sighed and she giggled. "Does it sound weird that there's a certain joy I found in making Bailey proud?" he asked with a smile.

Meredith laughed as Derek made his way to the bathroom to wash his hands. "Um … no … she demands more from us than we think we're capable of … so when we deliver … she feels proud and we feel good … I get it …," she called after him, taking a piece of the mango.

God … what would she do without mango? She pondered this for a moment before shaking her head at the ridiculousness of her mind or body … or both!

Derek exited the bathroom and smiled. He slipped into bed next to Meredith. She held the plate out for him and he took a slice of the fruit.

"Before I left … she was hell-bent on putting up that clinic," he sighed. "And I just couldn't get it …," Derek chuckled at himself now.

"I know, for me … being here, it was easy for me to get where she was coming from – her need to feel inspired – I got it, I could see it … I was already living it," Meredith said, catching Derek's eyes with hers. She smiled.

"I was rude," Derek muttered. "I was all about the funding … I didn't get it … I couldn't understand her need for more," he reflected. "I was caught up in my own life – cutting, working, trying to survive – but now … perspective won, in the end …," he smiled into Meredith's captivating eyes. He leaned over and moved a small wisp of her hair behind her ear, anything to connect, to ground himself.

"I know I've said this before … but I'm proud of you," Meredith said. "You've grown," she said offering the last piece of mango to him. 'No', he shook his head. She laughed and put it in her mouth.

"So it seems," he said with a chuckle. "Was I selfish and jaded before?" Derek asked, already well aware of the answer.

"Yes," she answered candidly, turning slightly, she placed the plate on her bedside table, grabbed their book and turned back to find Derek right where she left him.

Derek chuckled. "I love you," he muttered, leaning closer, he kissed her sweet lips. "I don't deserve you," he sighed against her mouth.

"Yes … you do," Meredith said softly, barely pulling her lips from his. "We're better together," she stated.

"We are," Derek said, brushing his lips against Meredith's once more. "Ready?" he asked; a sparkle in his eyes now.

"Ready," Meredith answered, flipping the book open to the book mark, she moved down on her pillow and put her knees up. "Week twelve," she sighed, her hand resting low along her belly, rubbing circles, wordlessly connecting.

"Week twelve," Derek repeated as he moved to lean back against his pillow and began to read the small passage from the book.

"Your baby is now just over two inches long – about the size of a lime, although she only weighs about a half an ounce –she's already stretching her small body and kicking her arms and legs. Her tiny swimming exercises becoming more frequent now, although you won't feel your baby's fury of movements for another month or two, nor will you notice her hiccups, which occur frequently now that her diaphragm is forming. The most remarkable of the developmental tracks of this week are your baby's reflexes. Your baby will soon be able to open and close her fingers, her mouth will make sucking movements and her eye muscles will tighten and relax.

Around this week, your uterus will shift up and forward as it grows, which will relieve your bladder a little bit – and enjoy this while you can – because by the third trimester, the uterus will grow large enough to sit directly on your bladder once again. Morning sickness usually subsides by this time, and you may be less tired. Although headaches and light-headedness become more common now thanks to the increased blood volume from your growing baby."

Derek sighed and Meredith giggled. He put the book marker in the spine of the book … ready for next week. He closed the book, reached back and set it on his bedside table. He rolled into Meredith and found her happy eyes. She rolled into him – their eyes happily dancing together – if possible, happier than they were last week at this very same time. Derek's warm hand found her belly and he wondered what was going on in there now.

"Last week a fig, this week a lime," Derek muttered playfully with amazement and pride.

Meredith giggled. "Our baby's growing up," Meredith cooed, resting her hand over Derek's for a moment.

"Yes … and you're amazing," Derek said softly. "And I know what you're gonna say ... but you are, you're protecting this baby, nurturing him or her … no one else can do that Meredith …," Derek professed.

Meredith leaned closer, wrapping her thigh over Derek's hips. "I love you," she said softly. "You're amazing too … taking care of us the way you do …," she mused. "Better together," she sighed, closing her eyes briefly.

"Meredith," Derek said after a moment of watching her relax. "Can we wait until we're up in Ubud to use the Doppler?" he asked, finally voicing the idea he had much earlier in the day.

Meredith opened her eyes. "That sounds perfect," she said softly. "Then we can start to tell our friends – besides Cristina and Owen – and then your mother …," Meredith said thoughtfully.

"My mom is gonna flip," Derek said happily. "And I know you're nervous about meeting her … but like I said –"

Meredith silenced him by placing her fingers on his lips. She smiled. "I'm not … anymore," Meredith shushed. "I know my place with you in your life, I know you love me … you and this baby are all I care about," she said strongly, finding comfort in his deep, sparkling eyes.

"I do … love you," Derek whispered.

The air was suddenly heavy and damp; it swallowed Derek whole like Meredith seemed to do all the time. His heart skipped a full beat as he became his own paradox– for he was lighter than air, yet so heavy and full of love – he wondered now why he ever tried to taper his love for her … he was foolish to even try.

"I've been judged before in my life … but I'm a mother now, Derek," Meredith said as a fury of tears sprang from her eyes. "It's not just about me anymore – I'll be territorial to a point with this little one – judgment won't bother me," she offered thoughtfully – her mind briefly touching on her own feelings of loneliness and abandonment as a child – before she abruptly pushed them away, she had no room for them now.

"Oh Meredith," Derek sighed, drawing her closer, moving his hand along the side of her face. He brushed her tears away. "My mother is gonna love you," he said, his pride bubbling up now.

"How can you be so sure?" Meredith asked, leaning in, she kissed his soft lips, he tasted like sweet mango.

"Because what you just said, just now …," he smiled. "Is exactly something she would say … that she's a mother first and foremost …," he chuckled. "And so are you my love … so are you," he sighed, pulling Meredith closer.

And so there they stayed, wrapped around each other, kissing and loving and loving and kissing – new parents, old lovers, reunited, bonded, for now and forever – with their miracle, their flesh and blood nestled somewhere safely between them – all the while dancing and swimming and moving – maybe even with the hiccups.

Chapter 16 to follow.

Author's Note: If you are so inclined, you can find some amazing photos of the temple Meredith and Derek had visited, this is the outer perimeter of the temple where she first spoke with Ketut and found out about their little miracle. You can find photos at f.l.i.c.k. (just remove all of the (.) to get to the site) and do a search for the temple name (Pura Rambut Siwi) and you just might find yourself e-nlightened (Get it?). Enjoy.