Chapter Thirty
Marian stared out of Guy's office window at what she could see of London. It was a bitingly cold day; she could tell by how dark and low the clouds were. It felt more like 9 at night rather than morning. The lights in every building were on and she could see the people running around the streets trying to keep hold of their hands and umbrellas as the savage wind attempted to whip them away. Marian could not feel the wind, nor could she see feel the tiny drops of rain that were beginning to cling to the window pane. She should have felt happy about that, who wanted to be cold and wet? But the heat from the radiators was becoming stifling and she could not help but feel that she was being kept prisoner, and if she was taken in by the police then she would be locked up for a very long time. She wanted to feel the wind and rain on her skin. Marian wrestled with her enormous window but eventually felt it give way – clearly Guy did not open them much.
The cold was refreshing, for a moment at least she could almost forget what she had done and what the consequences would be. It was only when she heard the door opening that she hastily slammed the window closed, she did not know why she was suddenly so important to her not to look like she had been taking liberties with Guy's property, after what she had done … twice.
She threw herself onto the settee that she had been on when Guy had left, just as Allan came in. He threw Marian a sympathetic look but did not hang around as Guy entered holding a tray of food. Marian's stomach had been so filled of knots that she had not even realised how hungry she was until she smelled the porridge. As Guy placed the tray on the coffee table in front of her she felt the lump in her throat grow.
It was not just porridge; it was her absolute favourite old fashioned porridge with oodles of black Greek honey, with ACE on the side and a bowel of fresh berries – minus the blueberries. You could not even get the bowel without blueberries from the canteen; he must have picked them out. Marian felt tears prick her eyes, even at a time like this he was still thinking of her comfort before everything else. Still, it was easier to look at the tray of food than on the man she had wronged.
Once again Guy was dressed from head to toe in a perfectly tailored black suit, - Valentino unless she was much mistaken. Under any other circumstances Marian would have found herself feeling weak at the knees, now she just felt weak everywhere. She could not help but remember how it had felt to be trapped underneath him as he ran his hands the length of her body.
All of the air left her body. Steeling herself, Marian forced herself to look up at his face and really wished that she had not. He was standing sideways to her, so thank God she could not see the expression of hurt and loathing that he had worn when he had caught her that morning, but she could still see the tension in his clenched jaw and the tightness around her Adam's apple.
Suddenly her breakfast held no appeal for her, she felt sick! Marian tried to tell herself that she had had to do it but it sounded hollow even in her head, she would hate to think how it would sound if she ventured to say it out loud. She had not had to do it, she could have just spoken to Guy about it. Even as she had gone through his files she had known that what she was doing was inexcusable. But still, she had to try to explain herself, even if she did not actually have an excuse.
"Guy, please", she said, rushing to his side. If she could just talk to him, maybe he would understand.
"I have seen you with Robin Hood, an outsider. You were almost caught spying on Vaisey, on me."
Marian could hear the rawness in his voice, it sounded almost as if he wanted to cry. His attention was still focused on her tray when he continued, "I warned you that the sentence for being caught betraying Vaisey would be severe".
"This has nothing to do with Robin. I was against Vaisey before he [Robin] ever returned", Marian said frantically. She was grabbing his arm now, just begging him to turn his head and look at her. She knew that she should be afraid of the going to prison, of what might happen to her father, and she was but in that moment everything paled in the face of trying to get Guy to understand that this had nothing to do with Robin; that she had done what she had done because she was against Vaisey; that she had never meant to hurt Guy.
If she had thought that him refusing to look at her was bad, it was nothing compared to when his head finally snapped around and she could see the coldness in his eyes. Coldness and hatred which she had put there.
"Don't you take me for a fool" he snarled, "It all fits". With that, he turned back away from her and walked to the over side of the room. He was so disgusted with her that he could not bear to be near her, let alone look at her, Marian thought.
Guy hunched over his desk, he knew that he should just walk out there and then. He should throw his lot in with Vaisey and bury the bitch like she deserved. Everything else he said would just be something that she and Robin would laugh about when they were alone together. Probably when they were in bed together.
He hung his head, his anger was not always strong enough to override his hurt. It had been when he was away, when he thought that she had just given up on him but then when he had seen her again she had worked her magic, she had manipulated him into loving her just so that she could find out more information. He had forgiven her the first time, he had even trusted her the times that he had seen her with Robin. He had wanted to see her as the angel that he remembered, rather than the manipulative bitch she now was.
The anger surged back and he spat out, "The way that you behaved with me. Your little visits to see Hood", now he turned back to face her. He pointed at her. "You were trusted here at the company by all of us."
Marian could barely believe it, he had known that she was seeing Robin but had turned a blind eye to it. He had shown so much faith in her and she had repaid it so poorly. "I know" she breathed, looking guilty and unable to maintain eye contact.
"But every moment I thought that you were a friend to me you were betraying me", Guy continued, no longer caring if he looked weak.
"I wasn't", she denied vehemently, looking almost shocked. How could he think that she had been trying to deceive him all this time? Did he think that when she had let him kiss her, it was because she had been using him for information? She had been coming close to thinking that she was ready to take their relationship to the next level, what would he have thought had she done so? That she was a prostitute?
Guy clearly did not believe her, he advanced her on now almost shouting, "Every day that I grew more and more to love you", he was right in front of her now, "You were mocking me".
Marian was scared, he was much larger than her and looked angry enough to punch something, or someone … not that she thought that she would ever be his target, however furious he might be. "It wasn't like that. I cared for you", she tried to make him understand.
He looked at her intently and she could feel new tears springing to her eyes and threatening to spill over. She was used to seeing so much kindness in those eyes, …
"I still care for you", she whispered.
"Shh", Guy put his fingers to her lips. The gesture for once was not the least bit soothing. He looked down at her lips, "You … are a liar", his voice was soft and he almost smiled as he said that last words. Then his face turned almost ugly it was so cold and vicious. He walked off, ready to leave the room.
"No", she whimpered. "I stayed at your side, I helped you move", she now shouted. This must have had some effect as he stilled, just in front of the door.
"When you were taking over Robin's house, I could easily have left you. I could easily have said that I would have nothing to do with it, but I didn't. I tried to understand your reasons and trusted that you had done everything legally". It was a long shot she knew, but she had to try.
He looked heaven wards, then shook his head and laughed.
"You're nothing to me." He looked at her, but not in her eyes. It didn't matter, as he opened the door to leave Marian believed that she was nothing to him and knew that she to make one last ditch attempt.
"So you would rather go and tell on me. Have me kicked out, probably put in prison. You would rather lose everything we ever had, ever could have", she hated herself as she dangled the possibility in front of him. Now she really was using his affections to try to save herself.
He looked back at her and the look on his face broke her heart into more pieces than she had ever thought possible.
"I've lost far more than that already" He turned and left, slamming the door behind him as Marian dissolved into silent tears. She heard the key in the door and knew that she could not leave; she was being kept here until he decided what to do with her. The tears flowed freely down Marian's cheeks.
Marian sat there for hours, not knowing what to do. She did not know what was going on, for all she knew that police could already have been called, her life may already be over. Did her father already know that? Finally she knew that she had to get out of there, even if only to tell her Dad what was happening and that she might well need a good lawyer. The reality of the situation could not be any worse than her imagination.
Getting up she over the door and began to try to pick the lock only to hear Allan warn her not to even try it. Marian growled with frustration. The love of her life not only hated her for something that she knew was her fault but was currently trying to have her put behind bars and she could not even get out of his sweltering bloody office.
Well that was one thing she could change. Marian marched over to throw the window wide open before starting to pace the room. She could not help but remember that if she had just not gone in there that morning, that none of this would probably be happening, she would probably be out at lunch with Guy laughing and flirting.
The thought of lunch made her neglected stomach growl. Marian looked over at the tray of food but in her upset it appeared to be mocking her. She was starving as she had not yet eaten and it was now just gone lunchtime (she glanced at her watch) but she would not eat it. It was the last thing that Guy had done for her and she wanted to cherish it. It was a sign of the love that he had announced only that day that he had felt for her, the love that he was willing to throw away without even allowing her to try to explain. The tray went flying across the room, it made a satisfying crash.
Guy had gone to the park during his lunch break, the thought of going out somewhere and eating without Marian was a terrible one. He had hoped that the cold and wind might help blow some of the confusion from his mind. He was not sure that it had worked. The more that he thought about it, the angrier he got. The more he realised that she had been deceiving all of this time and yet … he would rather have the false image of Marian than see her as she was. He could not let himself believe that everything between them had been a complete lie. There had to be some good in her. Maybe there was none in him and she saw that and that was why she had thought that it would be alright to hurt him.
He repeated to himself that he had never actually seen her being romantic with Robin, just like he had never actually seen her break into Vaisey's office. Maybe there was even a legitimate reason why she had been in his office.
"Bollocks!" He exploded, he had caught her in the act. He knew what she really was now and he would have to deal with her, although God only knew how.
It was as he was stealing himself to do combat with her and walking up to his office that Guy heard the crash coming from within.
"Marian", he ran over , ordering Allan to "get the door open", all thoughts of how he was going to act erased from his mind in his panic over her safety.
As soon as he entered his office, he looked around, scanning the room starting from the right where his desk was. Halfway across the room he noticed the open window and in a second his heart fell; the stupid girl had tried to climb out of the window, like she had the tree the other day. God, what if she had broken her neck? If she had tried it, and was alright he really was going to paddle her this time.
He tore over to the window, all thoughts of her treachery forgotten. As quickly as he was moving and as short as the distance was, it still seemed to take an age to reach the window and lean out of it. Images of falling to her death, her funeral, or her paralysed body in a hospital bed filled his head.
It was only when he saw no sign of her broken body lying on the pavement under the window that he thought to look further around the room. He saw the broken tray on the floor and just turned in time to see Marian making a break for it towards the door.
"Stop her", he ordered Allan, who attempted to do so but looked like he was about to lose the struggle when Guy got to her, pulled her off and back with such force that she felt to the floor.
"Fool!" He roared at her. He was beyond furious. In any other situation he would never have left her on the floor, he had not meant for her to end up thus but in his anger he had not known his own strength. He could not even pick her up now in case he damaged her more.
She did not appear to be hurt, judging by the fact that her face was filled with fury rather than fear or tears.
"Did you expect me to sit here and wait to be hauled off to prison?" She asked.
Marian actually just meant that she had seen an opportunity and tried to take advantage of it. Not that she had planned to get out like that, but she did not think that it would make any difference if she tried to explain that now; Guy did not seem like he was in the mood to listen to her reasons. In fact, if anything his face looked more like the times that he had caught her climbing the trees and she feared for her bottom.
"No, I expect you to know when you are beaten", Guy shouted – thankful for the soundproofing. What did she think, that he would have let them put her in prison?
"Get out", he ordered Allan, and when the latter did not move he roared his command and almost bodily threw his assistant through the door. He would not have Allan be a witness to this. Once the door was locked, he turned back to Marian, who was still on the floor. "This isn't a game Marian. When Vaisey finds out that you have betrayed him, he will bury you and anyone else you care about!"
Her father was now in danger, because of her stupidity. Marian did not know how much Vaisey already knew or guessed, or how much Guy was going to have to fill him in on. She had no idea why Guy had initially tried to protect her but it was clear that he was no longer going to do so. If she was going to go down, she might as well do so with the flag flying.
"Don't you have the courage to finish this yourself?" This brought his attention back to her, he looked sickened. Now she had the power. She started to pull herself up, "After all my so-called betrayals you should be glad to do it".
She could not deny that she was angry. It was true that her behaviour that morning had been unforgivable, but that did not mean that everything that had passed between them before had been a lie. She had been sitting there all day almost beating herself up because she had let him down, because she had not shown her faith in him and now he was doing exactly the same thing to her. Worse, he was as good as threatening her.
Guy took a step back and held up his hands, the position that they were both in now clearer to him that before. "This is not my decision". For all her fury and bravery, he was better connected, larger than she was, and looming over her.
"Then perhaps it should be. After all, you were the one who professed to love me", Marian threw his earlier declaration of love back in his face. She had felt elated and heartbroken at the time, but now she doubted that he ever had loved her. How could he love her if he could threaten her father?
"I thought that I knew you", Guy argued.
"This is me", she sat up normally. "This is who I am", Marian said. It was almost freeing. "I am Marian Knighton: a Christian, a daughter, a linguist, and today a spy. You say you love me and you don't know me", there was a tremble in her voice. She had dreamed of him telling her that he loved her before, but in her dreams she had never acted like this afterwards.
"I have defended you against the Vaisey countless times, more than you know", Guy strove to keep his voice from rising. He had to force himself to keep thinking about what she had done, because God help him when he looked at her there telling him what he was sure was the truth, he would have happily allowed her to convince him of anything she wanted if only he got to hold her. He could not look at her then, for fear that he would do something stupid. Something he would live to regret when she left him with nothing to be with Robin.
"And I deceived the Vaisey to find out the truth and to help the company and in so doing I had to deceive you … and I am sorry for that". These words seemed to hit their mark, when he turned back to her his face was a little less hard.
Marian pressed on, "But is it such a crime to follow my heart?" She knew that this was a bit of a stretch, she had no idea what had led her into Guy's office that morning and so knew not whether it had been her heart or possibly just her curiosity.
"Oh, the way that I followed mine. Always to your door", he was beside her and kneeling, so quickly that Marian scrambled back slightly bumping into the couch. For a moment they just starred at each other until it clearly became too much for him and he had to look away as he said, "Marian" in a whisper.
"Why did you have to put me in this position?" Once again his eyes sought hers, this time really looking at her, hoping to see into her heart. "Did you even once understand what I was feeling? Or thinking?"
He couldn't stay looking at her, he feared her reaction too much. He got back to his feet and began to walk towards the door, "When Isabella and I left and we didn't hear from you, I thought that I had lost you for good. Perhaps it would have been better if I had". Slowly and heavily he exited the room.
It was some hours later when Marian was finally allowed out of the room and escorted by one of the security guards to the staff meeting. She felt her heart accelerate as she saw them all assembled, she tried to give her father a brief smile but just looking at him made her tear up.
Looking for something to divert her attention from her father's confused gaze she searched the room and saw Guy and Vaisey greet each other.
"Treasure prove elusive?" Guy asked, referring to what seemed to be an inside joke.
"Don't be smug Gisborne", Vaisey rebuked as he led his way to the head of the table. "Where is the criminal? I feel a public dismissal coming on".
Marian took this opportunity to walk forwards, if she were going to go down, she would do so with her head held high and a stiff upper lip.
"I want to get something out of today", Vaisey continued, "Ah Marian, just in time for a little entertainment. We are going to get rid of the little bugger who has been sneaking around my office".
Guy looked worried and walked over to her, she looked straight into his eyes as she said, "I am ready".
At that moment, Guy grabbed the collar of one of the men sitting near Marian and heaved him up to his feet, Marian recognised him as being the man who had been rude to Guy on Sunday. "This is the man".
The man was quickly dismissed, it turned out that the only finger prints in Vaisey's office were his and this mans, although how Guy had managed that Marian would never know.
Marian looked at Guy, who looked back, before turning to address the kafuffle. She sat next to her father who did not even seem aware that she had been gone. Could it be that only she, Guy and Allan knew?
Vaisey was only a little mollified after the meeting. The police had indeed found the culprit and he would now face the consequences, and more to the point Guy had not lifted a finger to help his leper. He hated to admit it, but he was proud of Guy. That didn't mean that Marian was off the hook, she might have had nothing to do with the problems of that morning but that did not mean that he liked her or that he was going to give her a chance to get her claws into Guy. She would have to go, and the party would give him the perfect opportunity.
He whistled a little tune to himself as he started on his correspondence.