He was awake.

Derek was awake, and that was all Meredith could think as she moved down the hall of the rehab clinic, her hands shaking. Derek was awake, and he was alive, and he knew her. He knew her and their daughter, and he was excited for their baby. She couldn't imagine the number of times she had pictured this happening as she had sat by his bedside, telling him about Katie and their baby boy that was safe inside of her, begging him to wake up. Now all she could think about was the fact that he was awake and they could move on with their life together.

"Hey," his voice greeted her as she stepped back into the room. "I was wondering where you were."

"Your mom had lots of questions," Meredith said, a hand rubbing her back as she lowered herself into the chair beside his bed. "I convinced her to wait until morning to come, which probably means that she'll be here at the crack of dawn, but you've had enough excitement for one day."

"Probably," Derek nodded. "What are you doing all the way over there? Get into bed with me."

"Derek, in case you haven't noticed, I'm huge," Meredith sighed. "We won't both fit in that bed."

"Well you can't sleep in a chair," Derek argued.

"It's fine," Meredith shrugged. "I've been doing it for months. Except when I was forced to go home."

"And now I'm saying no," Derek said, scooting over in bed. "Come here. And don't say no."

"Derek, I don't…"

"Mer, are you really going to make me get out of bed and force you into it?" Derek asked. "You used to like sleeping in the same bed as me. That better not have changed in the past five months."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she stood. "You're really using the pity thing to your advantage, aren't you?" she asked as she slid onto the bed beside him. "It won't last forever."

"Making up for lost time," Derek said, reaching out to stroke her hair. "I missed our wedding."

"There was no wedding," Meredith sighed. "And there wouldn't have been even if you were awake because I'm huge. Which according to Nancy is normal since I'm carrying a boy."

"Nancy," Derek breathed. "My sisters…do they know? Have you called them about this?"

"Of course they know," Meredith nodded. "They all came out here for a week or so back in March, but they couldn't stay forever. I'll call them in the morning, they'll probably come out."

"Okay," Derek sighed, leaning into her arms and taking a deep breath. "God, I'm sorry, Mer."

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing?" Meredith asked. "This is not your fault."

"But I missed so much," Derek said, tears filling his eyes. "I should have been there when you found out you were pregnant. I should have been there to hold your hair back and been at the sonogram when you found out it was a boy. I should have been there to help decide it was time to potty train Katie, to see her transform from a baby to a little girl."

"Well I'm pretty sure I missed that one too," Meredith sighed. "And don't worry, Der, you may have missed those things, but you'll be here when he's born. Katie will never even remember that you weren't here, and you'll be here for the last trimester, when I'm really going to need you."

"I will," Derek nodded. "I don't think I'll ever leave your side again. You're stuck with me."

"That's a little extreme," Meredith giggled slightly. "But for the next few days…I think that's okay."

Derek sighed as he ran a hand over her stomach. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "I remember you had bad heartburn with Katie at this point. Has the sickness been as bad as it was?"

"It's not as bad as it was with her," Meredith sighed. "But I'm still having some pretty bad morning sickness."

"Did they give you something?" Derek asked.

"No, it's not that bad," she sighed. "I'm fine, Derek, really. Normal for women who carry boys."

"Good," he said, running a hand over the soft curve of her stomach. "What else have I missed?"

"Christina and Owen got married," Meredith said. "Went off to Vegas for a weekend and came back married."

"That sounds like Christina," Derek said.

"And Mark and Lexie are trying for a baby," Meredith continued. "Apparently they've been trying for awhile, but nothing's happening. Lex is starting to get worried."

"I guess it's the Shepherd genes that are very fertile," Derek smiled.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I've gotten you pregnant on accident twice," Derek said. "If Lex is having trouble getting pregnant it must mean that the Greys aren't overly fertile."

"You really are an idiot," Meredith sighed. "But you're my idiot. And I missed you."

"I want to say I missed you too," Derek sighed. "But I feel like I just woke up from a really good night's sleep."

"Hmm," Meredith sighed, fighting her eyes to stay open. She had waited way too long for Derek to hold her again, and she didn't want to fall asleep.

"It's okay, Mer," he whispered, and he felt his lips against the top of her head. "I love you. You can sleep."

"No," Meredith shook her head, tightening her arms around him. "I can't."

"Why not?" Derek asked softly.

"Because if I fall asleep, I'm afraid that I'll wake up and it will all be a dream," Meredith whispered. "I'm afraid I'll wake up alone in our bed. Which is way too big for one person, by the way."

Derek smiled softly as he tightened his arms around her. "I'll be back in our bed soon," he promised. "And it's not a dream."

"It could be," Meredith nodded. "And you can't sleep either."

"Why not?" Derek asked, laughter evident in his tone.

"Because you might not wake up for five months."

"Oh, Mer," all laughter faded from his voice as he moved to hold her closer, her stomach pressing into his side. "I'll wake up. I promise."

"I can't," Meredith whispered, tears falling down her cheeks and onto his t-shirt. "Derek, I can't do this again."

"You won't have to," he assured her. "I'm here, Mer. Forever."

"Promise?" she whispered.

"Promise," Derek nodded. "So you can sleep."

"Don't want to," she replied, snuggling closer to him, as close as her stomach would allow.

"Okay," Derek said softly. "Have you made any plans?"

"Plans?" Meredith frowned.

"For baby."

"Oh," she nodded. "Mark is helping me set up a new room for Katie. I figured we could move her and let baby have the nursery."

"Good plan," Derek nodded. "Is she still in the crib?"

"No, I bought her a big girl bed," Meredith smiled. "She still sleeps in the crib at night, but for naptime she uses the bed. I'm trying to change her over slowly."

"That sounds good," Derek nodded slowly. "What else?"

"Well, I'm glad that we picked gender neutral colors for the nursery," Meredith sighed. "Although we need all new clothes. And probably a lot of new toys too. And a second car seat, maybe a second high chair because Katie is still a little monster when she eats."

"We can do all of that," Derek nodded. "Have you thought about names?"

"Not really," she sighed. "But…if you didn't wake up I was going to name him Derek."

"You want to name him after me?" Derek asked.

"I did," Meredith said. "Because if you weren't here, there would still be a Derek Shepherd in my life."

"Oh," he nodded slowly.

"But you're here," Meredith said, a slow smile spreading across her face. "And I don't think I can handle two Dereks."

"That's mean," he frowned.

"But true," she giggled slightly.

"Hmm," he nodded. "At least this will give us something to do while I'm still stuck here."

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Naming our son."

"Oh," she said. "We can do that."

"But now," Derek sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Sleep."

"Sleep," Meredith agreed. "I love you."

"I love you too," he nodded.

"Please wake up," she heard herself whisper as she drifted off to sleep.

"I will," he said, a hand moving to his stomach. "I'll always wake up."

XXXXX

"…and I promise that I won't miss anymore of your life," Derek's soft voice greeted her as she drifted into consciousness the next morning. "I'll be right there when you're born, and I'll be one of the first people to hold you. And then when you're old enough we'll leave Mommy and Katie home so we can go have men's weekends in the woods."

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed as she opened her eyes, smiling as she saw Derek resting his head against her stomach. "You're awake."

"So are you," Derek smiled.

"But…it wasn't a dream," Meredith breathed as he slowly moved back up to kiss her lips.

"Definitely not," Derek said. "I was just bonding with my boy."

"And does your boy have any ideas for names?" Meredith asked.

"Not yet," Derek said. "But guess what."

"What?" Meredith asked, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face as she looked at him. He was alive, he was alive and talking, his blue eyes sparkling as she lay in his arms for the first time in months.

"I felt him."

"You did?" Meredith asked, a hand automatically going to her stomach.

"I did," Derek laughed. "It seems that he's very excited to hear about fishing."

"Well, he's definitely your son," Meredith sighed. "You didn't feel Katie until she was almost thirty weeks."

"My boy's strong," Derek said with a laugh.

"He is," Meredith sighed. "But he better not keep kicking this hard for the next four months."

"He won't," Derek nodded. "I told him not to."

"Right," Meredith rolled her eyes as she threaded her fingers through his hair. "God, I missed you."

"I'm here," he nodded. "And I'm going to work like hell to make sure that I can get out of here as soon as possible to be home with you and Katie."

"Good," Meredith said. "I took an extended maternity leave. I don't have to work for the next six months, so I'll be there to help you. With stairs or whatever at home."

"I…" Derek frowned. "Do I still have a job?"

"Nelson's been filling in," Meredith said. "But I called Owen last night and he said that he'll work something out once you feel ready to come back. You'll definitely still be a doctor, but head of neuro…he's not sure yet."

"Okay," Derek sighed. "As long as I can still cut."

"You can," she nodded, then frowned. "As long as the doctors say it's okay."

"They will," he said confidently.

Before Meredith could respond, the door flung open, and Katie ran in. "Daddy!" she cried. "Katie bring Grandma!"

"You brought Grandma to come visit me?" Derek laughed as Meredith slid out of the bed, pulling her shirt over her belly before she leaned down to pick their daughter up.

"No Mama!" Katie shouted, struggling in Meredith's arms as she reached for Derek. "Daddy!"

"Careful, Katie," Meredith frowned as Katie kicked at her stomach. "Stay with me for now, Daddy's not strong enough to hold you yet."

"Daddy," Katie said, a frown crossing her face as she reached for Derek again.

"She's fine, Mer," Derek said, reaching for her. "I'll just keep her on my lap."

"Fine," Meredith sighed as she placed Katie on the bed beside him. "What's up with this?" she asked her daughter. "Daddy wakes up and now you don't love me anymore?"

"Daddy," Katie giggled as she reached up to kiss his cheek.

"Hi princess," Derek smiled. "I know I have a lot to make up for, but I'm glad you're here."

"Derek Christopher Shepherd," a firm voice came from the doorway, and Meredith followed his gaze to the door where Carolyn Shepherd was standing. "If I hadn't just spent five months terrified of losing you for good, I would strangle you for putting us through this."

"Good to see you too, Mom," Derek laughed, lifting an arm from around Katie to hug his mother back as she leaned over his bed.

"How are you?" Carolyn frowned. "You don't have any permanent damage? Your memory is intact?"

"My memory's fine," Derek nodded. "And I've got an appointment with a physical therapist today. She'll be able to tell me more about whether there's any damage, but I don't think there is. Just soreness, which is typical after these kinds of injuries."

"Don't self diagnose," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"And to think that I was hoping that this would make my wife be nicer to me," Derek sighed.

"Daddy!" Katie giggled from his lap. "I gots pig."

"You got a pig?" Derek asked.

"Mar gave it to me," Katie nodded.

"Mark bought you a pig?" Derek said, and Meredith didn't miss the flash of pain in his eyes. He was never really going to get over missing his daughter transforming from a baby to a toddler.

"Gama, Daddy needs pig," Katie said, looking at Carolyn expectantly.

Carolyn smiled as she reached into the diaper bag and pulled out a stuffed pig. "Katie's stuffed pig was in your car," she explained. "And she had a temper tantrum like you wouldn't believe when she realized that it was gone, so Mark went out at eleven thirty at night to buy her a new one and calm her down."

"Pig fo Daddy," Katie said, holding the stuffed animal out to her daddy.

"Thank you, princess," Derek said, taking the pig. "But I think you should keep him."

"Pig fo Daddy," Katie repeated more forcefully. "Pig make Daddy better."

Derek smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Thanks, Katie," he said. "But how about you keep it safe for me while I'm here?"

"Katie's pig," Katie said as she took the offered stuffed animal from Derek's hands.

"Okay, Katie bug," Meredith said, leaning down to pick her off of the bed. "Don't fuss, but Daddy needs to see the doctor today, so we're going to let him do that without any distractions."

"I stay," Katie nodded, wrapping her arms around Derek's neck. "No lea Daddy."

"Yes, leave," Meredith said.

"No."

"Katherine Isobel Shepherd, what have we talked about with this attitude?" Meredith asked.

"I stay," Katie whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"I want to stay too, sweetheart, but we have to let Daddy get better," Meredith said firmly.

Katie sighed as she turned to look at Derek. "Stay?" she asked.

"You heard your mother, princess," Derek sighed. "I want you to stay too, but she's the boss."

Katie sighed dejectedly. "I no stay?"

"We'll buy Daddy a present while he's in therapy," Meredith promised, leaning down to pick up her much calmer daughter. "We'll be back later, Der. We love you." She pressed a kiss to his lips, reveling in the fact that he was awake and able to kiss her back, something she had craved for the past five months.