Title: Hitting the Ground Running
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: Adult
Pairing: Primarily Jack/Ianto, with other secondary pairings mentioned
Chapter: 36/?
Word Count: 3144
Summary: AU. Majorly AU. Ianto Jones first encountered Torchwood as a teenager trying to leave his old life behind. However, when Torchwood Three gets rather violently restructured at the start of the millennium, he's got a new assignment in Cardiff. The only thing he wasn't prepared for was his new boss.
Disclaimer: …You really think it's mine? Much as I might wish it was, it isn't. I will go on the record and say that, unlike the show's creative team, I firmly believe in happy endings.
Notes: Thank you all so, so much. Again. Because you guys are seriously awesome, and I can't believe the wonderful reception this fic has gotten :D Keep leaving those comments/reviews; they mean the world to me ^_^
Chapter Thirty-Six
In Which The Boys Get to Dance, Discuss the Appropriate Model for a Wedding Dress, and Have a Serious Talk. Not Necessarily in That Order.
Martha, for all her bluffing, was obviously a little disappointed that nobody had thought to call her when the Doctor had dropped by, but only a few days later she too was taking off to go back to London and with her gone and Owen fully re-instated as a team member things were frighteningly normal for a while.
'A while,' of course, being the couple of weeks until Gwen's wedding, and Ianto looked up from reading on the sofa as Jack stumbled in, looking tired. "Find it, sir?"
"Yeah, had to get Gwen to leave her Hen Night, though…don't think she was too happy about that one," Jack shrugged his coat off and, after a pointed look from Ianto, hung it in the hall closet before he toed off his boots and went to flop on the couch beside Ianto.
"You caught the guy, though?"
"Yeah. Dropped him at the Hub for Owen to look over and came back, but I'm beat," Jack huffed. "And tomorrow's going to be a long day, aliens or no. Weddings are always tiring."
"You've been to a lot, then?"
"A fair few, although I try to avoid them when I can. Too many memories," Jack rubbed a hand over his face.
"Memories of your own?" Ianto asked softly, settling his hand lightly on Jack's knee.
"Yeah. All the women I loved and had to leave in ten or fifteen years to hide the fact that I wasn't aging," he said bitterly.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be," Jack covered his hand with his own. "Really, Ianto, I knew what I was getting into before we made our vows. It's my own fault."
"I hate it when you talk about your immortality as if it was your choice," Ianto told him sternly, withdrawing his hand.
"No, but it was my choice to go as far as marriage. I just…wanted to be normal, as if somehow believing I was normal would make it so," he admitted, staring dolefully at Ianto until the young man rolled his eyes and reached to take Jack's hand once more.
"You are normal, as I've repeatedly told you."
"Glad you think so," Jack flopped so his head was in Ianto's lap and smiled when the other man started lazily playing with his hair. "Mm, we need to get to bed if we're going to be any use tomorrow."
"Right," Ianto agreed but didn't stop stroking Jack's hair.
" 'M gonna fall asleep right here if you keep that up," Jack murmured, and Ianto stilled his hand and bent to kiss Jack on the forehead.
"Come on, then," he prompted, watching as Jack got up and slumped over to the bedroom before turning off the table lamp and following him in. Jack, predictably, had just stripped down to his pants and flopped in the bed, but Ianto went through his nightly routine before joining him, sighing as Jack instinctively wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in tight.
"Ianto?"
"Mm?"
"You ever think about your wedding?"
"You mean, the wedding-that-never-was?" Ianto clarified. "Yeah. Sometimes. I had these big, elaborate plans even though I knew that neither of us could afford anything like that. It would probably have been at a tiny chapel somewhere, just a few friends and family, dinner at a local place, you know?"
"Simple, then."
"Yeah."
"Do you regret it?"
"What's to regret? It isn't as if it could ever have happened, not after Canary Wharf," Ianto muttered, wishing that Jack would just let the subject go.
"Do you ever wish it could have been different?" Jack asked quietly. "You know, a wife; kids? Normal life?"
"Sometimes," Ianto admitted after a breath. "Sometimes it crosses my mind, of course, but I wouldn't give this up…this job, you and Owen and Tosh and Gwen, for anything."
"…You wouldn't?"
"No, Jack," Ianto reached up to grasp Jack's hand, holding it tightly and mentally figuring that this was as good a time as any to finally say what he'd been afraid to say so many times. "And besides, if my life had been normal, I would never have met you."
"And that would be a bad thing?"
"Of course it would," Ianto snapped, maybe a little harshly, but Jack was being far too obtuse about the whole situation. "What? Don't you think I'm happy?"
"Well, I'd like to think so, but I know I'm not the greatest…whatever we are, and you know if you're not happy you'd only need to say it and I'd…"
"I love you."
"You what?" Jack sounded like he was caught off-guard, and Ianto smiled at the thought. "Ianto, no, you can't…"
"Don't you dare, Jack Harkness," Ianto shifted so he was facing Jack. "Don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do. I don't know why and I know it's probably not good for me, but I won't deny that I love you, and I've loved you for longer than I care to admit."
"I…ah…"
I don't expect an answer, Ianto thought, staring into Jack's eyes and unwilling to break the silence with a vocal comment.
I'm afraid.
"What?" he asked aloud, because that was the last thing he expected to hear.
"I'm afraid, Ianto," he repeated. "I'm afraid because…because I know I'm going to lose you. I lose everybody sooner or later, and I…the reason I never say…that…to anybody is because I feel like if I keep it inside, if I don't admit it to myself it'll hurt less when the inevitable happens."
"Jack…" Ianto closed his eyes for a moment before looking at Jack directly again. "Wouldn't it hurt more to know you could have said it; could have given somebody that comfort and never did?"
"I…"
"Well, it's your choice," Ianto shrugged and faced away from Jack again, thinking absently that this whole thing had gone about as well as he expected. He didn't actually think he'd get anything in return from Jack, after all.
I love you.
Ianto stiffened. What?
I do. Of course I do, but…I can't say it out loud. Not yet. It kills me to know that you'll…
"Jack," Ianto flipped around again, not entirely surprised to see tears brimming in Jack's eyes. "Look, I know it's hard. Nobody should have to suffer the way you do, losing the ones you care about over and over again. But the worst thing you could possibly do is shut yourself off from those who care about you. One day we'll all be gone, but you can't be alone forever. You'll find somebody else you can fall in love with, and you have to accept that love. Eternity is a long time, but it'll be even longer if you choose to face it alone."
Jack let out a broken, cut-off laugh. "When did you get so smart?"
"I just thought about what I would do in your position," Ianto replied. "And you…I know that I'm not your one and only, but that's something I've accepted almost since the moment I met you. I'm happy to spend time with you for as long as you'll have me, but…"
"No, don't talk like that," Jack shook his head violently. "I'll never get tired of you. And I'll remember you forever, I promise."
"Jack…"
"Don't," Jack said sharply, angrily blinking back his tears. "And…can we forget what I said before? About sleeping? I need you," he admitted softly, and Ianto could only nod.
000
The phone ringing the next morning at 7:30 sharp abruptly woke them up, and Ianto muttered something in Welsh before snagging the phone and muttering, "Hello?"
"Ianto?"
"Gwen? What's the matter?"
"Jack needs to get over here. Now," she hung up, and Ianto blinked at the phone for a few seconds before dropping it on the night-table and flopping back into the warm bed.
"What does she want?"
"Didn't say. Said you needed to get over there right away," Ianto yawned, turning so he was facing Jack, who was looking rather less-than-alert.
"That woman," Jack sighed. "Guess I'd better go, then. Meet you at the Hub?"
"Yup," Ianto gave him a swift kiss, pulling away before Jack could deepen it and convince him to stay in bed a while longer. "Now go, sir; it might be an emergency."
"Or it might be Gwen having pre-wedding regrets," Jack stretched and slumped out of the bed. "Ianto?"
"Yes?"
"Last night was good, yeah?"
Ianto stared at the blankets, not wanting Jack to see his blush, but he had to admit that in the grand scheme of things last night had fallen far more into the 'making love' category than it did into the 'just shagging' category, and the thought brought a smile to his face. "Yeah, Jack. Really good."
"Good," Jack reached to caress his cheek lightly before stepping back. "See you in a bit."
"Right, sir," Ianto nodded and Jack swept out, the door barely closing behind him before the phone rang again. "Yes?"
"Ianto? Bit of a problem, mate. My car's decided to die, see, and I have no way to get to the wedding. Think you could help a friend out?" Andy sounded almost frantic and Ianto smiled to himself.
"If you don't mind spending the day at the Hub, I'm sure we can coordinate," Ianto told him.
"Will Jack be okay with that?"
"He's told me that he won't deny you anything he's let Rhys do, and Rhys was in the Hub," Ianto said firmly. "Besides, Gwen's having some sort of crisis, so I think we'll be busy until the wedding starts regardless. You're ready if I head over now?"
"Yeah. Thanks, mate."
"I'll be right there," Ianto put the phone down and slouched out of bed, putting the coffee on before he went over to the washroom.
000
Jack and Owen breezed into the Hub, neither looking particularly happy, and Tosh and Ianto shared a glance before Tosh decided to break the silence. Jack had phoned them en route to explain about the alien baby, and while Andy was still a little awed about the whole thing, Tosh and Ianto had chalked it up to 'just another day at Torchwood.'
"How is she?"
"She's…going ahead with the wedding," Owen shrugged helplessly.
"Which is fine," Jack assured them. "As long as she doesn't go into labor at the altar. Rhys might forgive her going down the aisle pregnant, but not giving birth to a razor-toothed monster that eats half his family."
"Could that happen?" Andy asked, wide-eyed.
"Well, look, the pregnancy's advanced and we're not familiar with the species," Owen explained.
"Which is why you, Owen, need to open up the guy with the teeth and make sure there's no surprises," Jack instructed.
"I'm on it," Owen replied, heading down to the autopsy bay.
"Hang on," Andy stood up. "You said this alien passes the egg through saliva, right?"
"Near as we can figure, yes," Jack nodded.
"But it was a man," Andy pressed.
"Men can get pregnant," Jack told him honestly. "At least, when I come from, they can."
"You've mentioned this before," Tosh said quietly, noticing the haunted look that came into Jack's eyes at the words. "Have you…"
"Yes. Once," Jack swallowed, closed his eyes for a second, and then blinked them open. "But now's not the time to go into it. Tosh, Andy, you two get an early pass to the wedding. Keep an eye on Gwen for me, alright?"
"Of course. Let me nip home and get dressed and I'll be right back," she stood up and made her way over to the lift.
"Ianto…"
"Jack."
"Gwen's going to need a new wedding dress. Bigger," he emphasized, causing Ianto to chuckle. "And no offense, but you're the only person I would trust with something like this."
"I understand. But bear in mind that if the store attendants give me any flack I'm taking it out on you."
"Wouldn't expect any less," Jack curved an arm around his waist and pulled him in for a kiss. "Go make me proud. Andy," Jack turned to him. "I guess the least I could do is give you a tour. Coming?"
Andy hurriedly followed him, wondering why Jack was being so uncharacteristically nice to him.
000
"You owe me. Big time," Ianto replied, shoving the dress at Jack, who took it with a gleeful smile.
"Okay, what happened?" Jack asked.
"He thought the dress was for me," Ianto crossed his arms and glared at Jack, who burst out laughing.
"And he calls himself a dress consultant?"
"You should have sent Owen," Ianto added with a smirk. "At least then he could have made a viable case."
"Owen might actually fit in this," Jack marveled, taking the dress out and examining it. "And it's beautiful. I knew I needed to send you."
"I try my best," Ianto said modestly, although the praise obviously was important to him.
"Speaking of…Owen! Wanna model a wedding dress for us?"
"Bugger off!" came the disgruntled shout from the med bay, and Tosh came up the stairs with her hand over her mouth, laughing.
Jack gave an appreciative whistle and she turned in a circle, taking Ianto's hand when he offered it.
"You look gorgeous, Tosh," he twirled her and she came to a stop, free hand resting against his shoulder.
"So do you, Ianto, and you're not even dressed up by your standards," she smoothed her hands down the front of his suit-coat. "Anyway, are you done with the dress, or are you planning on modeling it yourself?" she asked Jack, who shook his head and passed it over to her.
"All yours," he promised as Andy came up the stairs, looking a little nauseous. "Were you watching Owen do an autopsy?"
"He…really hadn't started anything yet, but hearing him talk about it was bad enough," Andy swallowed.
"Don't listen to him. He's exaggerating," Tosh shifted the box with the wedding dress. "Well, we'd best get going. You'll all pop by later?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't we?" Jack looked confused.
"Because, Jack, you're the type of man to run in during the ceremony in order to do something dramatic," she reminded him.
"Nah, not this time," he waved them off. "Now, shoo. Make sure Gwen's doing alright."
Tosh nodded, waved to Ianto, and took Andy's arm before leading him out of the Hub.
000
"How much further?" Owen asked as they drove, obviously a little frazzled. Once they had figured out what the alien was and that there was quite possibly an infiltrator at the wedding, they'd decided to head for the site as fast as they could.
"Few minutes."
"What I don't understand is, if people are going to make such a big deal about getting married, why come all the way out into the middle of nowhere, where no one can find you, to do it? That, to me, suggests inner conflict," Jack rambled, and Ianto turned from watching the road to give him a pointed glare.
"It's because the happy couple want everything to be perfect," he replied tersely, and Jack immediately turned to him, an apology on his lips. "Don't," Ianto shook his head.
"I have a feeling there's a deeper story here," Owen commented.
"You'd know," was all Ianto replied.
"Yeah. Both of us kind of never got our dream weddings, did we?" he asked with a touch of sarcasm, although both Ianto and Jack knew that it was only a front. There was a horribly awkward silence in the SUV after that until Ianto turned down the road that led to the wedding site, each of them lost in their own thoughts of weddings and what could have been.
000
Ianto wasn't quite sure how, after all was said and done, he'd gotten roped into being the DJ for the evening, but after a while he'd managed to pass the duties over to one of Gwen's bridesmaids and decided to do a bit of dancing, happy that both Gwen and Tosh were more than eager to be his dance partners.
"Thank you for the dress, Ianto," Gwen murmured in his ear. "I'm only sorry it got ruined."
"No worries," Ianto assured her. "You looked gorgeous in both."
She smiled at him as the song ended and then asked, "Do you mind if I dance with Jack? I don't want to…"
"No, go ahead," Ianto nodded, and she kissed his cheek and went over to Jack, who shared a glance with Ianto before pulling her into his arms.
"What d'you, say, mate? For old time's sake?" Owen was suddenly beside him, and Ianto huffed a sigh and nodded.
"Where's Tosh?"
"Dancing with Andy. I doubt she wanted to be stuck with me all night," Owen looked over in her direction before focusing on Ianto again.
"You're not that bad a dancer," Ianto scoffed.
"Ah, I know, mate, but I couldn't pass up a chance to walk down memory lane," Owen pressed himself closer.
"Albeit with less leather and techno music and sweaty men grinding all over the place," Ianto snorted, and Owen grinned at him. "It was fun, okay? Completely not what I'd most like to be doing on a Friday night, but it was fun."
"Glad you're finally admitting it."
"Not that I'm looking, but is anybody watching us?"
"Tons, mate. Good thing they won't remember any of this tomorrow, eh?"
"Probably," Ianto conceded, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and looking over at Jack, who was watching him even as he twirled Gwen around.
"Dance with your boyfriend," Owen prompted. "I'll take Gwen for a spin."
"Old times sake?"
"Har-har," Owen used his good hand to push him toward Jack, who came to meet him halfway and pulled him in for a kiss, completely ignoring the surprised stares of a few of the wedding patrons.
"Mm, time and a place, Jack," Ianto moved him away. "What were you and Gwen talking about?"
"Not much," he shrugged. "Mostly about what I'd be doing while she's on her honeymoon."
"Do I want to know the answer?"
"Pizza…you…saving the world," Jack responded, and Ianto sighed.
"Exactly how am I supposed to feel knowing I rate below 'pizza' in your 'most important things to do' list."
"Come on, I couldn't have said you right away! It would make me look desperate," Jack finished in a rather conspiratorial whisper, and Ianto decided to ignore his statement. "You know you're more important to me than anything."
"I think I finally do," Ianto conceded. "But I still like to tease you every now and then."
"Good," Jack pulled him close and started swaying to the music, brushing a kiss against his temple as they danced.
All in all, it wasn't the greatest wedding that ever was, but right now Ianto couldn't think of a single thing he'd rather be doing.