The title of this chapter is one of my favorite songs. You should totally check out Zola Jesus' upcoming album 'Taiga'!

And in the sickness you have faith.

Walking through the doors of the hospital had never been so hard.

Teddy tasted the bitter nervousness on her tongue; she felt the sickly trepidation burrow deep into her gut. She'd planned on coming here for a very long time now, and she'd never once imagined there'd be a problem – after all, the hospital was her home and shelter, a respite all on its own… yet, this place held all her worst nightmares now as well. Behind those sliding doors was the hallway she'd run down time and time again; in the west wing was the elevator where she'd met Henry, who'd been her entire life. Down the stairs was the OR she'd operated in, the one that had brought Jayni into the world… and the one Henry had died in. And then, five floors up, there was the NICU housed Jayni's fight; it housed all those goodbyes.

Yes, it was definitely a place of nightmares – but it was the only place she'd ever felt at home. Whether that was masochistic, Teddy didn't know.

"What the hell am I doing?" Teddy muttered under her breath. She shouldn't have come; not today, not without Addie by her side. She'd thought she was brave enough but of course she wasn't – how could she face all the people who'd watched her crumble, and fall and how could she stand to relive all those bitter-sweet memories that awaited her inside? The keys to her car were already in her hand as she turned on her heel fiercely, beyond furious at herself and cursing soundlessly in her mind – but that was when she walked straight into Owen.

"Whoa, there!" Owen exclaimed, the cup of coffee in his hand recoiling and spilling all over his dress shirt.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" Teddy muttered, face flushing red. Looking up, she met Owen's stunned eyes with her pair of guilty ones.

Owen made no move to mop up the mess. His mouth opened and closed in incredulity before he managed to get his words out. "Teddy, what're you doing here?"

"I – I…" The truth was that Teddy had come to see him. It seemed like every new step was the hardest thing she'd ever done, and this one was no exception; she'd come to get her job back, to try and piece together a semblance of the life she once had.

Owen took one glance at the dishevelled look on Teddy's face and his expression immediately softened. Holding out his arm just as a gentleman would, he gestured towards the doors expectantly: "Come on, since you're here, let's go up to my office. I have a couple of spare shirts up there; don't worry about this one."

Teddy was grateful for his sensitivity, she really was – but that didn't stop the panic from brewing up inside of her like poison. A feeble choking noise escaped her as Owen took the first step towards the sliding doors of the hospital.

I can't do it. Not yet. I'm not ready. The thoughts chased each other around her brain, crushing any shred of courage and grit she ever had in the first place. The question written across Owen's face became concern as Teddy pulled her arm back with a ferocity she didn't know she had in her. "Owen, wait –"

"What is it?" Owen said, too frantic to be soothing. "Tell me, please – did I say something?"

"No, no, it isn't you! It's just… Owen, I can't," Teddy struggled to find the words, trying not to sound as weak as she was but also knowing she didn't want to be untruthful.

"Can't… what?" Owen asked, not understanding.

"I can't do it. I don't know why I picked today to come here; I'm obviously not ready yet. It's… it's where she died, Owen. And I can't be here," Teddy ended on a muffled sob, turning her head away before Owen could see her cry. He'd seen enough of her tears. "I'm so stupid. I should've known better, or waited for Addie…"

"Shh. It's okay," Owen said, revelation tracing his voice. "It wasn't stupid, Teddy. In fact, it was brave."

Teddy gave a hollow laugh, not believing him for a second.

"Hey," Owen chided Teddy reproachfully, moving closer so he could look her in the eye. "I'll let you in on a secret – I'm not half as brave as you. Don't you remember that time in Iraq when you rushed into that fray to get to the little kid with his leg hanging on by a thread? I just stood there and cowered – you went right in there and you saved his life. I know I couldn't have done that. And to tell you the truth, feeling the way you do and still managing to come here was braver than that by far."

It may have been shallow but deep down inside, Teddy was pleased. How was it that Owen knew just the right things to say?

"Do you believe me now?" Owen breathed, seeing the resolve harden behind Teddy's eyes and feeling a surge of overwhelming satisfaction when she looked up.

"I do," Teddy said quietly. "Thank you."

"You don't have to go in there if you don't want to."

"But I do."

Owen reached for a shirt while Teddy stood hesitantly in the corner of his office.

"Make yourself at home," Owen smiled. "But if you get bored, feel free to up and go. I have a crap-ton of paperwork to get through today – it seems like I haven't seen the inside of an OR in a decade."

Teddy laughed sympathetically, knowing the feeling. His words had heightened her own yearning – how long had it been since she'd clasped a scalpel? How long since she'd held a human heart? "Sorry about your shirt."

"Hey, don't worry about it. It was old, anyway."

"I'll make it up to you; I promise," Teddy insisted.

"Tell me what you came here for today, then," Owen said, not quite teasing; the connotations of the question were too sincere for that.

Teddy picked up on it at once and bit her lip. It was true that there was a purpose to her journey here, but saying the words was even harder than she could ever have foreseen.

"Owen, I need a favor," she managed to get out at last. Her voice barely cleared a whisper.

Owen's, in comparison, rang true and resolute. "Name it."

For some reason, Teddy felt a trickle of humiliation well up inside her, but she knew it was misplaced. This was her friend; this was Owen, and he wasn't about to make her grovel on her knees for a job he knew she needed. Self-sufficiency had been a trait instilled in her long before her days in Iraq; standing her own ground was of the utmost importance when everything else came crumbling down.

The words came out torrentially, even though Teddy didn't mean it that way. She tried to quell the desperation in her voice, shame creeping up her throat as she heard herself speak. "I… I need my job back. I'm going crazy cooped up in Addie's place; I need to be doing something, anything – if that something's saving lives, it's all the better. Please, Owen, I didn't know who else to ask. I know that having me back here would be all kinds of weird but I'm not sure that Tacoma would want someone like me working for them. I could try, though, if you said no..."

"Shh. Say no more. It's done – I'll go talk to the Board tomorrow morning, and I'll be damned if any of them turn down the finest cardio surgeon we've ever had here."

"Oh, Owen…" Teddy breathed. "You don't know how much this means to me. Thank you."

"It's no problem. And I know exactly how much it means to you – that's why you'll be making it up to me by covering the night shift in the ER for the next two weeks."

Teddy groaned and shoved Owen away playfully, though the relief and joy in her eyes were far from phony. It seemed like years of friendship had been distilled down into this day, and the smile gracing her face spoke for the years to come – for a second, Teddy dared hope that everything would be okay.

This chapter was for whoever requested more Teddy/Owen over Teddy/Addison! Hope you enjoyed.