Chapter 36

-Games-

"So."

"So." I tried hard to sound as icy as he did.

"Seems like we are wife and husband again."

"Yes, it does."

"Well."

"What is it you want me to do?"

"I want you to come with me to the Leaky Cauldron tonight."

"Where we will do what?"

"Where we will play our reconciliation."

"Ah. Aren't we doing this right now?"

"Hardly."

I stared at Severus. He scrutinized me with an air if utmost abhorrence. I had tried my very best to look good, dressed in a decent, but sexy pantsuit, sporting my diamonds. I don't know why I bothered to dress up like this, but somehow the knowledge of being dolled up to the nines gave me a false sense of security.

"And what do we need the Leaky Cauldron for?"

"We need some witnesses for our reconciliation."

"Ah. Why?"

"I want independent people to report about it."

"Independent people reporting…hear, hear."

He sneered. "What is it you want? Did you think I would come here to be nice to you?"

"No."

"Very well. At least you will not be disappointed."

"Severus, please. Just let's deal fairly. There is no need to be that mean."

"No, of course there isn't."

"Fine. Just let us be friends."

"Never I will be your friend again, Sadra. That much I can promise right here and now."

I sighed. "All right. After we made up in the Leaky Cauldron- what will be up next?"

"I will take you home and I will stay there for the night."

"Insulting me for the rest of the night?"

"Maybe." His voice was silky.

I shook my head. "This won't be working. Do you really expect me to sit next to you in the Leaky Cauldron, smiling and playing infatuated when you talk to me like that?"

"You love acting, don't you?"

"Severus, we agreed to play this game. You set the conditions, I agreed. But it doesn't work like that!"

"It will. You will see."

He swirled around, his black robes billowing behind him. "I will be expecting you there at nine o' clock. Be a little late."

The pub was overcrowded when I entered a quarter past nine, but I immediately spotted Severus sitting on a table in a far corner, reading tomorrows issue of the Daily Prophet. When I approached his table, he smiled warmly and reached his hand out to hold mine.

"There you are."

I gave him a false-could-have-been-for-Narcissa-smile. "Severus."

He gestured me to the chair opposite to him.

"It has been a long time." Merlin, what was he playing at?

"Indeed, it has."

"You look stunning."

"Thank you!" I grinned ironically. Suddenly, I looked stunning. This was too stupid. After we had taken our seats, I leant over to him, whispering in his ear:

"You do not intend to behave like this for the rest of the evening, do you?"

"You can talk about whatever you please as long as you look very glad to see me." He hissed.

"Matter of fact I am glad to see you."

"Well, that's good."

"We could use this pleasant chat to sort some things out. Always smiling sheepish, of course."

"And what pray-tell exactly it would be you think we should sort out?"

"Severus, this is silly. If we want to appear like a couple we have to be friendly."

"But I am." He raised his eyebrows mockingly.

"You are perfectly aware what I mean."

"You think I should be behaving nicer to my cheating wife?"

"Does he know what happened?"

"Who he?" Severus was clearly enjoying my attempts to start a reasonable conversation.

"The Dark Lord."

"You would like that, wouldn't you? Me- being left with egg on my face. Of course not."

"Then what did you tell him why we split up?"

"Nothing. There is no need for. He doesn't want to know."

"Okay." I looked at the card, trying hard to think of something that would make me able to get through his barriers.

When the waitress appeared, Severus just ordered a bottle of Firewhisky, clearly ignoring my thoughtful flipping through the card.

We drowned our first shot in complete silence. When Severus refilled our glasses, I listened eagerly to the sound of the pouring liquor- knowing that this would be clearly the only way to penetrate his shell. I dimly remembered the night nearly ten years ago when he arrived at my house completely wasted, the first time he had ever confessed his true feelings for someone.

"To Lily." I toasted.

Severus slammed his glass on the table. "How dare you?" He spat.

"Tss tss, I thought we would be acting tonight, Severus. Get a grip." I smiled coldly at him.

He eyed me wearily as if he would see me properly for the very first time this evening.

It only took him half a second to regain his composure. "To Sirius."

I smiled and we both drowned our shots. This was the second I knew that he was my true partner in crime. The only one who was learning the games I played as quickly as I changed them. After he had refilled our glasses, a real smile curled his lips.

"That was a good one. I didn't see it coming. You are surprising sometimes."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Why did you have to do this to me?"

I looked at the worm-eaten table. "I know that this may sound ridiculous and I know that you will not believe it- but I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted. If I would be able to undo it, I would."

He slowly nodded. "Well, there is much truth held in your sentence. You will never be able to undo it."

"I know. And I know that you will never forgive me."

"Right."

"But now that we are working together, please just let's try to get along as good as possible."

"Maybe, we can. But I want to know- what is it that makes him so special? Why did you just throw our marriage away?"

"I never meant to. I already told Dumbledore and I will tell you now: If it would have been my choice, I would have stayed with you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. And because I cannot forgive Sirius what he did, just as you will never forgive me what I did. In the end we are all losers. Except you maybe."

Severus stared into nothingness for a moment, looking thoughtful. "I have been the loser since the game started I guess. If he only would have spared Lily."

"What would you have done then?" Curiosity made me lean over the table.

"I would have taken care of her."

"You really think she would have lived with you?"

"Why not?"

"Because you are the one who sent the Dark Lord after the man she loved and her son." I repeated curtly.

"Well, I guess, you may have a point there." He was already three shots ahead of me. "But maybe I would never have told her?"

"Severus, you have been a Death Eater after all. Do you really think she would have tolerated this?"

"No."

"So what? Would you have quitted?"

"There is no quitting the Dark Lord's service."

"You kind of did."

"I am trying to repay my depts."

"So do I." I looked directly in his eyes, hasty adding: " I should never have done this to you and I know that I am beyond forgiveness, but I want to pay for it like you do."

"Did you ever really love me?"

"More them I ever acknowledged to myself."

He reached over the table, taking my hand. "I appreciate what you just said."

I smiled, slowly leading his hand to my face. When his hands reached my cheeks, his fingers glided over my skin, tracing its features.

"Black will be dying from jealousy."

I grinned back at him evilly. Change of game again.

"Severus, we have reached the best point we will be able to have from now on in this life."

"We had better."

I knew instinctively that this was a trap. He wanted me to declare love for him to torture Sirius with it. I drowned another shot under his monitoring eyes, just smirking.

"Do you know what I loved most about you?" He teased.

"What?"

"I often underestimated you."

"Now that is a compliment."

"It is. For it doesn't happen often."

I smiled at him sardonically. We just had concluded peace.

We drank a lot that night, now only talking about insignificant things. When we staggered out of the last pub in Nockturn Alley both of us were completely wasted.

"Let's go home." Severus suggested.

"Where would that be?" I slurred.

He laughed. "A graveyard in Godric's Hallow and a house in London, I guess."

"You really think?"

"Dunno."

"O dear." I sat down on the sidewalk, not able to cope with the mixture of feelings in my heart. "I used to have a home in Southern France."

"So did I."

"Where did you spend your last Christmas and New Year's Eve?"

"Hogwarts."

"Did you miss me?"

Severus knelt down next to me. "I did. But what would that change?"

"Nothing." I shook my head. "Absolutely nothing, I guess."

"I hope I will have an overnight accommodation in your house tonight? That is part of the plan."

"Sure. We ought to be acting."

"Right." I felt the warmth of his body through his cloak.

"Adhara will be coming home tomorrow."

"I know."

"Please, Severus, swear that you will not let her down."

" I won't. She is like a daughter for me."

"Did she write to you often?"

"Yes. But don't worry- she kept her promise not to tell me about Black."

"I wasn't worried about that."

"What is bothering you then?"

"You are like a father to her. Could you please behave like nothing had happened between us now that we are intending to play the happy couple again?"

"I will."

"Thank you."