Meredith squashed an empty coffee cup and threw it into the bin, entering the crowded lobby. She stifled a chuckle at the sight before her, halting behind a huddled mass of her subordinates. They were strangely resembling a group of kids, joking, laughing, standing up on their tiptoes for a better look at the computer screen. Meredith knew well enough what was the reason for that. She took a nervous glance at the clock as it struck the full hour. The rankings for the past year should have just been announced, determining her fate. They basically constituted her be or not to be at this hospital and she awaited them with both dread and hope.

An intense sadness crept up on her heart at the prospect of leaving Seattle. Her journey here irrevocably changed her life in the ways she had not foreseen. It made her richer in experiences, both good and bad. It made her discover love in its full; she believed her stay here made her a better person.

However, she could not stay here much longer. Being close to Derek, yet not fully, brought an excruciating pain. Especially so, as he completely abandoned the avoidance tactics he had taken up after she openly rejected him on Christmas. Meredith suspected the intensified attempts on his part were all Addison's doing. She undoubtedly spilled the beans about her secret feelings, not only to Derek as it would seem. The hospital community was much gentler in her regard, sometimes openly playing matchmaker to her and Derek. She would find it hilarious if it wasn't so painful.

Though it could all end in the next few minutes. She held strong suspicions the results would set her free.

"Back up!" Bailey's annoyed voice sounded over the heads.

"I'm trying to see!" Meredith recognized Derek's whining voice.

"It's not up yet!" bit back Miranda who was sitting in front of the computer, getting irritated by the swarming around her. "There's nothing see!"

"It's supposed to be posted at four!" reminded impatiently Cristina.

"It's 4.15," muttered Mark.

Apparently, Seattle Gracers revived their competitive streak. For the past week, Meredith watched with her eyebrows raised in surprise how they doubled their efforts, worked longer hours, had more pro bono surgeries than in the past months put together; all in all, their behavior was spotless.

"Hit the refresh button," suggested Cristina. "You have to reload the page."

Miranda slapped her hand and replied irritably, "I'm hitting the refresh button every ten seconds. Let's just… wait."

"Is it up yet?"

"No!"

"Is it up yet?" another voice asked.

"No! Wait!"

"Think we move up a slot," offered Mark to fill the moment. "Pass Hopkins, move to number one."

"We're not passing Hopkins," Derek shook his head. "But we're moving up to two." At least he hoped so. He didn't hold such demanding wishes as to automatically jump on the top of the list. Just one place higher would suffice to keep Meredith in Seattle.

"Mayo could fight kicking and screaming to stay where they are," remarked Cristina. "We'd stay three."

"Three? Pessimist…" sighed Derek resignedly.

"Realist," argued Cristina. "The rankings of teaching hospitals change based on any number of things. So if there's a tie… Say we're three again, does anyone know what she's-"

Izzie elbowed her gently clearing her throat, trying to silently convey that the Chief was with them.

"Could you all make some space for Dr. Grey to come and see the results herself?" asked Miranda turning back and looking at her through a gap in the crowd.

"No, I'm good here," assured her Meredith. "Is it up?"

"Not yet."

"Well, three's top five," said Mark encouragingly. "We could live with three."

"Hit the refresh button again," asked Alex.

"I am hitting the refresh-" blew up Miranda making everyone take a step back. Derek let out another deep sigh while Mark swung his legs sitting on the desk. He'd have lots of fun if he wasn't worried about his best friend and his girlfriend who might lose one of the most important people in their lives due to that ranking. "Ok, all of you, back up. Stop hovering, stop speculating! The rankings will go up when they go up. We have no control over when they're posted. When it is up, I will say it is up! Until then back up! Shut up, and leave me alone-"

"It's up!" said Lexie with a small voice, her eyes glued to the screen.

Everyone pressed themselves as close as they could in order to learn their score. Meredith's heartbeat picked up… She'd know in an instant…

"Number one, Hopkins," announced Miranda. "Number two, Seattle Grace. Number three, Mayo… Go back, number two, Seattle Grace!"

"We made it!" exclaimed Izzie excitedly.

"Of course we did," stated naturally Cristina as though she hadn't voiced a completely opposite opinion mere minutes before.

The lobby broke in applause and cheerful laughter, some of them breathed out with relief. Derek finally felt the ground beneath his feet. Meredith was staying, they'd have the time to work everything out, smooth over all misunderstandings between them. She'd yield, Derek was sure of it. She couldn't resist him at the beginning of their relationship, she wouldn't now.

"Scroll down," said Addison urgently. "There's a written commentary at the bottom."

"There sure is," nodded Miranda and cleared her throat. "Many questioned the choice of Dr. Richard Webber when Dr. Meredith Grey, the former Head of Neurosurgery at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, replaced him at the position of the Chief in the best medical institution on the west coast."

Nice of them not to mention that the ones who questioned the choice the most were Seattle Grace own doctors, snorted Meredith inwardly.

"Today there is no doubt whatsoever that it was another wise decision of the man who made Seattle Grace Hospital blossom. The new Chief is a breath of fresh air for the Rain City's first hospital and hospital management in general, as she embraces with uncanny skill medical novelties and the tradition of hard work and commitment to medicine alike. Thanks to her confident and well-timed decisions SGH can boast both talented dedicated staff as well as state-of-the-art equipment. Seattle Grace doctors do not shy away from innovative solutions but the dedication and attention are exemplary at every level of patient care. The same applies for the quality of teaching, which remains conscientious, demanding and resourceful. Provided the trend continues, it will not come us a surprise if Seattle Grace takes the lead in the next year rankings. Follow the link to see the detailed report illustrated with charts."

"God, we're good!" hissed Cristina satisfactorily.

"We kick ass!" grinned Izzie.

Addie made her way to Meredith and hugged her tightly. "You see? We're the best. Or well, we're second," she said enthusiastically. "You can't leave, not with the rankings like that!"

Everyone started to clap their hands again while Meredith detached herself from her best friend. She hadn't corrected Addie's faulty assumption for the whole week, simply because it was easier this way.

Meredith smiled slightly and raised her hand calling for silence.

"So, I don't have to add much to what Dr. Bailey has just read," she started in a calm gentle voice, even though her throat threatened to constrict painfully. She waited a few seconds for the cheers to die down and took up, "I'd like to thank all of you for your hard work and dedication during the past year, and I want to congratulate you… you did make it."

Her words were followed with another round of applause. She took a deep breath surveying the smiling faces before her. "I see no reason why Seattle Grace wouldn't jump even higher next year-"

"Damn right!"

"Watch out, Hopkins!"

The room was momentarily filled with booming laughter.

"And I hope," continued Meredith, "that as we're celebrating our success this year, you'll be able to celebrate an even bigger one… with the new chief."

Her announcement was met with a wall of stunned silence, as though everyone questioned the accuracy of their hearing. They exchanged puzzled glances as Meredith went on, "I'd like to thank each and every one of you for allowing me to manage this hospital for the past year, I'm well aware it wasn't easy. I'm immensely grateful for giving me the chance to work with you and to get to know you. It gave me an opportunity to learn a lot, thank you."

She concluded her brief speech wondering what she should do next, wait for any questions that might follow or run away to avoid them. The sudden complete change of mood amongst her colleagues was making her uncomfortable. And she couldn't bear looking at Derek, who went rigid in his pose with a hand over his mouth, like a terrified kid.

However, before she made up her mind, Addie spoke up with apparent disbelief in her voice, "Meredith… you said you'd stay if the rankings were good."

Not something she wanted to discuss in front of the full house but Meredith acknowledged their right to receive some kind of explanation. "I did not say that-"

"Yes, you did!" argued Addison.

"Can you calm down a bit?" pleaded Meredith. "I did say that my resignation depended on the rankings. That is true but… I would never abandon the hospital if my directions made Seattle Grace lose its position. Now we're even higher than the last year, my conscience is clear. I truly believe my successor will guide you to be even better. If everything goes smoothly, and I hope it does, I'll be out of here before the end of the week. Excuse me," she nodded and departed. She had to ultimately draw the papers and make an important phone call.

"Did she just…?" trailed off Derek in a dazed voice.

"Yeah," nodded Mark uneasily.

"She said she was…?"

"Yeah."

Derek sat heavily on the desk. "So, it's just… it?" he asked disbelievingly. He was so sure it would all work out. And his hopes got crushed all over again. What was he going to do if she carried out her plans? It was torture to endure the separation from her. But seeing her leave forever? He wouldn't survive that. He tried so hard for the past week, everyone tried hard for the past week. And all they did was to double their efforts ultimately pushing for her to step down. How ironic and unjust was that? It seemed he wasn't alone in these musings.

"Damn," muttered Mark, rubbing his cheek pensively. "Looks like we sabotaged ourselves."

"So, what now?" Bailey clasped her hands together and stood up facing all of them with eager expectation. "What? We've got to do something, right?"

"Like what?" shrugged Cristina. "She wants to get the hell out of this place. What is there to be done?"

"That's what we need to figure out," replied simply Bailey. "Hey, do you want to watch him mope around like that forever?" she pointed at Derek, cocking an eyebrow.

"Anyone any ideas?" called Cristina over the dispersing crowd.

Not even an hour passed since Meredith fled the lobby, and that short period of time allowed her to make a call to one of the board members, print and sign her resignation and make it all ready to be sent, when she was interrupted by a sudden knock on her door. Patricia stuck her head in and announced with a stoic expression, "Someone's here to see you, Chief."

Not attending her answer, the secretary moved aside to let Addison come in, then Mark, then Derek, followed by Owen, Bailey, Cristina, George, the remaining department heads and a few more senior attendings so now the vast office was filled to the brim.

Meredith slowly stood up with her hands propped on the desk and a concerned frown on her forehead. "What is this? What is going on?"

The doctors exchanged quick looks and George stepped slightly forward clearing his throat. "As the… as the core part of the staff we came… to discuss your decision with you."

"Discuss my decision?" she repeated. "I assure you that the process will go on smoothly, without any damage to Seattle Grace-"

"That's not our concern," George dared to cut her across.

"Oh, if it's about the chief position, I don't think you'll have to deal with anyone from outside this time," Meredith managed to say. Now as she was sure of her departure, her pain seemed to hit her square in the face. She was leaving everything behind her. Derek, who was piercing her with his eyes, and her hospital. Soon enough, someone else would fill her shoes, become the chief, occupy this office. "I won't take part in the decision-making unless I'm asked for an opinion. And even then you can be sure, it will be based on utterly professional premises."

"That is not what we want to talk about either," answered George calmly. "We do not agree with your decision in general."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Meredith, a frown creasing her forehead as she stared at her subordinates quizzically.

"It means that we think you should revise your decisions to step down," took up Bailey with a serious face.

"That…. That is not under discussion," said Meredith defensively. "I don't know who put you up to this," her eyes swept accusingly over Derek, Mark and Addison, "but if that's all you've come to me with, you can go back to work."

Nobody moved an inch while Cristina insisted, "Don't you think we've got a voice in the matter?"

"In my decision to quit from the office? No, I don't think so," remarked Meredith crisply.

"Well, we do," countered Bailey. "Especially so as it will negatively affect the workings of this hospital."

"It won't," argued Meredith. "It-"

"Of course it will, Meredith!" exclaimed Addison. "You're leaving! Not even a whole year after you started. The hospital needs continuity."

"Don't try to blackmail me, Addie," Meredith stood strung out, her arms stiffly folded over her chest.

"I'm not blackmailing you. I'm telling you that this hospital needs you, we need you," she emphasized.

"Oh, please," snorted Meredith. "Don't make this personal."

"She isn't," backed her up George. "We all feel that way. You're an excellent chief, we make a pretty good team."

Meredith eyed him disbelievingly. "A good team? Everyone has hated me since the moment I set my foot in here," she reminded.

"That is not true," said Mark. "There were some initial… differences but we all know everything goes smoothly now."

"I'm positive it will go even smoother with my replacement. And it will be much easier for you. You won't be forced to work with a stranger."

"Easier doesn't necessarily mean better," argued Miranda reasonably. "You know how to impose order in this place, you're not afraid to speak your mind, to enforce what you think is best for the hospital, and it always is."

"You're bossy," remarked gently Derek, a shadow of a smile on his lips, "it… keeps us in line."

Meredith's jaw was set and her face hardened. Why did they make it so difficult out of a sudden? Did they actually try to convince her she was wanted, universally wanted? Not possible.

"There's still so much to be done here," Owen launched himself in the conversation while the rest nodded vigorously. "You're in the middle of changing the face of this place."

"Enough of this," stopped them Meredith raising her hand though her voice remained calm. "My decisions is final. I repeat, my decision is final! I've already spoken to Jennings from the board and I'm just on my way to send the resignation. There's nothing that could change my mind and frankly, I don't even understand why you're trying."

"Oh, come on," snapped Cristina losing her patience. "We've all come here to talk to you. I think it's pretty clear why. The least you could is to talk to us."

"I don't need to explain myself," cut off Meredith.

"No, you don't have to. That's true," bit back Cristina. "Just don't give us the bullshit about the hospital's wellbeing because we all know it's all about your-"

"Cristina," shot Owen warningly.

"You know, this is enough," Meredith said with a final note in her voice and picked up an envelope from her desk. "Since you have nothing substantial to say to me, you'll excuse me. I have lots to do. Oh, and when I'm back," she said as she walked to the door, "I expect you to not be here."

She walked out passing Patricia's desk and into the corridor, unexpectedly bumping into a group of residents, sneaking around and waiting for any news. She folded her arms looking at them sternly. Not much changed in that respect since her first week.

"We're just…" stammered one of the interns.

"Waiting for our attendings," provided quickly another. "We've got… results… and results…"

"This is not a waiting room," scolded Meredith and everyone started to disperse in haste. "Lexie!" she called after half-sister.

"Dr. Grey?" the brunette looked up at her with apparent concern. "Uhm, Meredith?"

"Do you know if your parents are home tonight?"

Lexie's eyebrows rose in shock. "My… you mean my Mom and… and Dad?"

"That would imply the term "your parents", yes," threw sarcastically Meredith.

"It's a… it's Monday today," thought Lexie aloud. "Yeah, they… they have the neighborhood watch meeting this evening so, yeah, they'll be home."

"Thank you," nodded Meredith and moved to walk away.

"Why? Do you want to come?" asked Lexie eagerly but her sister dropped the conversation altogether, hurriedly walking away. Her senior staff was just leaving her office and she wanted to avoid any further verbal sparring.

One part of her difficult goodbye with Seattle was past her. She broke the news to immensely surprised Jennings who would call in at Seattle Grace the next day to talk over and finalize her decision. Her written resignation was already on its way. There was no turning back, she burnt all the bridges.

It was ironic in a sense, as right now she was going to repair some. She still couldn't believe she was doing it. Though as she made her way from the hospital building to her car she felt sure it was a good thing to do, a thing she needed to do before moving on with her life. She never thought she'd ever seek contact with her father on her own will, but… there she was.

Meredith was fully aware that there was a week till she'd be able to know some relief, which was promptly confirmed by the sight of Derek leaning against the front door to her Porsche, taking her breath away a little as usual. Her step slowed down but she braced herself bravely and steered herself forward.

He heard her purposeful footsteps; his back tensed and he turned around to face her just as she halted, only a few feet before him.

Two pair of eyes locked in a daze, two hearts beat in the same racing rhythm, there were two clouds of vapour exhaled by two sets of lungs that encountered equal trouble while breathing normally. Finally, Meredith cleared her throat uncomfortably and uttered quietly with a halfhearted gesture towards her car door, "Can you… can you move aside? I have… stuff to do."

"No, I can't move aside, Meredith," he answered gently. "Because if I do, you'll disappear. You'll vanish before I even have a chance to blink."

She swallowed hard and looked down on the snow distractedly, suddenly feeling overpowered. She was so tired of fighting, like a fish out of the water trying to catch air.

"Meredith, I know you saw… you saw me and…" his voice cracked a little. "But I swear," he put his hands together like in a prayer, "I swear it meant nothing, she-"

"I know," said Meredith with a small voice. "I know you're the most innocent party in this mess."

"That's what Addison told me," he breathed deeply. "You know but you still don't… you still can't… I would have never thought that she could stand between us, Meredith." He raked his hair in frustration.

"She's not standing between us, Derek," Meredith shook her head slowly.

"Then why aren't we together?" asked Derek desperately. "Why aren't we together and happy? Do you… do you remember how happy we were?" the last question he addressed was much gentler.

"I do," he replied not waiting for her. He hesitated but finally raised his hand. His fingers grazed her chin making her face his regard. She all but shuddered at the contact. "We were so good. Do you remember the whole long days spent here at Grace, filled with work and secret dates? The sleepless nights when we made love until dawn and then some?" He stepped closer, mere inches separating their faces. "I do remember every single thing, every detail," he whispered and his warm breath fanned her cheeks. "I remember the way you looked, naked and ready for me. I remember your scent, the feel of your heated skin… the way you moved under me…"

At this point Meredith had grave difficulties forming coherent thought. He was attacking her brain with a flow of very... graphic verbal stimuli. Damn, he did remember her responsiveness, the tiny little fact that sex was her weakness, or a strength, depending on how you looked at it.

"Derek, I'm so…" she shook her head, jerking it back out of his reach.

"You're so…?" he prompted.

"It doesn't matter," she bit her lip in effort to hold herself together and fidgeted trying to coax him out of her way. "We're over, don't make this harder than it has to be."

"It doesn't have to be hard at all," he argued but stepped aside reluctantly. "One word of yours, Mer, and it can be easy."

"No, it can't, Derek!" she exclaimed impatiently and slipped inside her car. "You don't understand… anything!"

"Then make me understand why we're in the same square we were in March?" he leaned over the car door preventing her from shutting it close.

"We're not in the same square. We're past it, we're over it," she stated hiding her eyes behind black sunglasses. "There's too much water under the thing… or whatever."

"You know your stubbornness makes my head ache," he chuckled, "but I still love you for it, because it makes you who you are."

Meredith tapped her fingers over the steering wheel. "Let me go, Derek," she pleaded, her hand reaching for the door.

"I will let you go today," he answered bending forward so his lips practically caressed her ear. "I will give you time to think about what I've just said. And please, do think about it, because that's the last time I'm asking nicely. Tomorrow I won't be so cooperative…" he breathed out and buried his nose into her hair behind her ear briefly while she quivered at the threatening note hidden in his voice, not from fear but excitement. Excitement that went straight to her core.

She felt a loss when he backed away to close her door gently. He then moved to the sidewalk and stood facing her with his arms crossed over his chest.

Meredith cursed in her head. The bastard talked like he owned her! She started the engine violently. Well, he did… and he made her doubt her decision.

"And?" asked Mark expectantly as Derek approached the little group of doctors waiting for him at the door to Meredith's office. "Has she listened to reason?"

"Do you think I'd be here if she had?" asked Derek gently.

"No," admitted Mark. "You'd be screwing like bunnies somewhere around."

"Mark, can you just please refrain from making this type of comments right now?" Addison rolled her eyes with annoyance.

"Yeah, can you?" sighed Derek.

"Oh, I'm sorry," smirked Mark. "I forgot you haven't had any since time immemorial."

"I can't believe I'm here," muttered Cristina with unmasked irritation.

The flow of complaints that would undeniably spill out of her mouth was prevented by the appearance of George who was cowering at the door peeking at the corridor.

"So, the coast is clear?" he whispered dramatically.

"What are you twelve, Bambi?" snorted Cristina.

"It is," interrupted her Derek. "Meredith went home. Did you found what we need?"

"Yeah, of course," he nodded confidently. "I told you, I know the safe combination! Come in."

One by one they followed inside the office for the second time that day, passing Patricia on the way.

"Make yourself at home," she ranted. "Just don't make any mess because I'll be the one to sort it out before she comes in tomorrow."

They gathered around Meredith's desk and George spread the documents he had retrieved from the safe.

"That's her contract," he explained.

Derek took one of the papers into his hands and started to skim it.

"That's a lot of formal mumbo-jumbo," frowned Mark, brining another document in front of his eyes.

"What, has fixing boobs fried your brain?" jabbed Cristina. "Let's just get it done. I want to go home before the beginning of the next century."

"You don't need to stay and help, Cristina," berated her Izzie. "Why do you even care? Don't you hate her anyway?"

"I don't hate her, okay?" Cristina answered back. "She gave me the head job when anyone else at her place wouldn't have and I am grateful for that. I don't bite the hand that feeds me. So, I'm here to help, okay?"

"Hey!" bellowed George. "If you could just listen to me we would come up with something to do much faster!"

"Why? What do you know?" asked quickly Addison.

"Well, from what I gather from this text," George waved the contract in the air, "it was made up for two years."

"Yeah, you're right," nodded Addie. "That was the hospital's safety belt. One year would be too short to evaluate her work but two enough to see if-"

"If she was screwing up," finished for her Cristina. "She's contracted for two years so what's the deal? She can't leave."

"I'd love to see you trying to tell her what she can and cannot do," snorted Mark.

"May I continue?" George shouted over. "The contract is for two years but she doesn't have to stay for the whole period."

"Damn, there's a loophole?" asked Derek.

"Yeah, it says she can walk freely without any liabilities if she encounters unsolvable problems she is unable to cope with herself," went on George.

"Unsolvable problems? What does that imply?" Izzie demanded clarification.

"It's not specified," he shook his head. "But I suppose it has to be something outside her control that makes her work here impossible. She could put a lot of things here. I'm pretty sure it might be related to problems with staff managing. It's pretty obvious she didn't have a warm welcome here," he looked at his colleagues with reproach. "It makes sense, it's believable. The board won't have any doubts."

"So what now?" breathed deeply Derek. "We can't do anything?"

"I didn't say that," shrugged George. "There's… how to say it, a loophole in the loophole."

"Come again?" asked Izzie.

"Dr. Grey can't leave the hospital during a crisis situation," he stated simply.

"A crisis situation?" wondered Mark. "We've had one quite recently. Anyone can get hold of a bomb again?"

"I've got it!" exclaimed Izzie enthusiastically. "I know a way out! But we need to act together or it won't work."

"You want to set up a Meredith Grey's fan club?" snorted Cristina.

"Pretty much," laughed off the blond. "Just listen. One resignation is not a crisis right? But what if… everyone does…?"

"Now you completely lost it!" gritted out Cristina as she realized what her friend was getting at.

A/N I hoped you liked the update even if it seemed a bit uneven to me…

I'm probably repeating myself but MerDer will be fixed very very soon. You'll like the way the next update ends, trust me ;)

Waiting for your thoughts as always,

Em