To Sightlines: 'Extreme Home Makeover: Seme-Uke Games Edition'... I like it! It'll probably take another week for it to be put up though.
A/N: This chapter is another random chapter. No events but remember in the karaoke challenge when Count D and China kept fighting? Prepare to find out why!
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Waah.
China. Wang Yao. The father of all the Asian nations.
Count D. Dementia and Delight. Owner of the mystic pet shop that wanders around and pops up in Chinatowns all over the world.
What do these two have in common? Well, they're Chinese. They both like food. And they are quite stunning individuals.
What else?
Well, they have the worst hissy-fits when they get mad. And it just got ten times worse the day that they both decided to get on each other's bad sides.
Here's what went down.
One evening, Count D was relaxing, taking a bath. He was just about to sink further into the bubbles when he realized, "This bath would be much better with the right type of atmosphere." With that, he decided to try and light some of his incense. The Count had made sure to place some in the medicine cabinet of his private washroom (which was close to the tub, thank goodness) and proceeded to open it.
Those pale hands with those long, delicate finger-nails rummaged around in the cabinet for a while before Count D flinched. He got out of the tub, not minding at all that he was dripping wet and nude, and frantically searched the cabinet, just to find that it was completely bare.
"What..?"
Abruptly, the door to the main room of Uke Manor opened up, revealing a flustered Count D with his hair tied up in a towel and a bath-robe around him. He yelled, "What happened to my incense?" Most of the ukes were confused until China walked into the room and announced,
"Aiya, the smell of that stuff was drifting all throughout the house. I threw it out when I was cleaning, aru."
Count D simply stood there in complete shock. This was war.
The next afternoon, China was cooking away in the kitchen. He was preparing to make some pot-stickers for lunch and moved to the refrigerator to get the pork he needed. When he opened the door, however, he shrieked, "AIYA!" There was nothing in the fridge except for vegetables and sweets. "Wha... Wha..?" He gasped, sinking to the floor. Count D walked into the kitchen and, after grabbing a chocolate cake from the refrigerator, stated,
"All that meat shouldn't have been in there. So unhealthy." Yao stood up and yelled,
"But I bought most of that meat, aru!"
The Count simply replied, "Meh.", before he grabbed a spoon and walked off.
There was an instance of a group of ukes sitting in the main room, eating ice cream and watching sexy gladiator movies. After a while of watching the air-brushed abs of Leonidas, Naruto asked Yao, "Hey, so you're basically the nation of China, right?"
"Mm-hm." China replied, downing a spoonful of pistachio ice-cream.
"So... How old are you, exactly?" China hummed for a moment before he answered,
"Around... Let's see, aru. Ah, around 4,000 years old, aru."
"Youngster!" Count D coughed out. China frowned before he continued,
"Yes, I'm basically a kami and..."
"Ha!" Count D put down his ice cream sundae and began, "Forgive me, young man, but 4,000 years old is hardly a kami."
"Really, aru?" China smiled sarcastically. "Then how old are you then?" Count D smiled that all-knowing smile before pulling out a piece of paper and writing a number down. He then slid it onto the table for all to see. 3..2..1...
"Holy crap, dude!" Kyle cried out at the number. Itachi added,
"You're... you're... forgive my language but you are ancient, Count D!"
Many of the other ukes had similar reactions but Yao was silently fuming in his seat from jealousy. "Grr..." He gritted his teeth and twisted his fingers into his pony-tail, Count D smirking all the while.
One morning Count D was lounging around in his bed, not quiet awake, but not quite sleeping, when he was disturbed by something... wet by his feet. He immediately shot up and removed his covers. His gold and purple eyes widened in shock-laced horror.
"AAAAHHH!" When that scream rang out through Uke Manor, Yao was reading a magazine in the kitchen. Yet he smirked and said,
"He must have found the horse head that was left in his bed." He then got out some money and handed it to Lovino ( 1 ). "Thank you, aru."
After that, it was hard to see the two Chinese males not fighting. It went from things like what to watch on television...
"You don't even like T.V, aru!"
"I watch Animal Planet, thank you very much!"
...To what to have for dinner...
"We should just have a simple, vegetarian..."
"There he goes again with the 'vegetarian' crap, aru."
"Why don't you shut up?"
...Oh, and the issues of tea and tea-pots...
"What the hell are you doing, aru?" China asked Count D as the man grabbed an ornate tea-pot and a box of tea.
"If you must know, I'm making myself a cup of tea." Abruptly, Count D saw a box of green tea being shoved in his face. "Um..."
"If you're making tea, make this kind, aru." Count D frowned.
"I don't want green tea, I'm making Darjeeling tea." China rolled his eyes, scoffing,
"We shouldn't waste water making two types of teas, aru. Make the green tea!" Count D growled, setting the pot down,
"Why can't you just drink my tea?"
"I don't want to, you stupid pet shop-owner!" A gasp tore itself from the Count's throat before he retorted,
"You bratty excuse of a nation!"
The two glared at each other, you could literally see the sparks flying between them.
A few moments later, the rest of the ukes walked into the kitchen, just to see Yao and Count D yelling random Chinese curses, pulling at each other's hair, and slapping each other when able.
A/N:
( 1 ) Lovino represents South Italy, you know, where the Italian Mafia has its stronghold.
Oh, that was funny. But now I must go work on other stuff, which includes fanfic-related stuff and my final speech for school (I'm doing an oral interpretation of a scene from Spirited Away) Wish me luck! Oh, and review!
-Tyranno's girl.