"Your majesty. A letter has come." The servant stood at the library door and studied me. I smiled over the blanket I was knitting and he handed the letter to me. It had already been opened.
"Who opened this?" I asked annoyed.
"Your Majesty, his highness always opens all the post." The servant explained.
"Of course." I smiled and nodded, dismissing him. Then I turned to Ceecee and Regan and scowled.
"Why? Why does he always do this?" I hissed.
"Because he is your husband." Lady Regan explained without looking up from the pair of booties she was knitting.
"And because he's nosey." Ceecee smirked.
"Its so infuriating that he distrusts me this much!" I snapped.
"He's just making sure you are alright." Ceecee defended and I scowled at her.
"He's worried about Jesse." I said and they nodded simultaneously. "He thinks I'm going to run away with him." I sighed and opened the letter.
My dearest sister.
Your brother has finally decided to marry that girl. They plan to marry on the 15th of May. We are hoping that you will be able to attend but alas we know that it may be too much for you to travel in your condition. We miss you deeply and await with great anticipation the arrival of our new nephew.
Love always, Your sister.
I sighed and rested my head on the chair. I looked out the window and watched the warm May sun light up the gardens of Nottingham Castle. If I could convince Adam it would take a days ride to Worchester, which would get me there the day before the wedding. If I left tomorrow that is.
"Who is it from your majesty?" Lady Regan asked noting my distress.
"My sister." I said looking over at the maid cleaning the fireplace. She wasn't looking at us but I knew she was listening. "My brother is to be married in three days."
"Your brother?" Ceecee asked confused. "Isn't he already married?"
"The other one." I said laughing. "And no not the youngest one. The one that just got back from the war." I said and she nodded.
The war had ended just after Christmas. The King of France waved a flag of truce and visited England to celebrate the new year. A new alliance was formed between England and France after the King of Spain abandoned his alliance with the King of France. Another arranged marriage gone horribly wrong. All the men, or what was left of them, returned from France tired and weak and the country was once again at peace.
"It's probably a better choice to stay here." Lady Regan offered.
"I can't miss his wedding." I whined.
"Think of the baby Susanna." She said my name and I heard the maid gasp. Lady Regan looked towards the girl and scowled.
"I shall go and petition to the king." I said struggling to stand. Ceecee, still finding this amusing, stood and offered me her hands. Once I stood she smoothed out my light green dress and gently patted my swollen belly. 7 months ago I could not imagine it there and now I could not wait for it to be gone. My back ached whether I was sitting or standing and I cried twice a day, sometime about nothing at all. Also he liked to kick just under my rib cage. Adam teased saying he was getting ready for all the sporting he would participate in. I just wish he would wait until he was born to practice his sporting.
I heard voices coming from the conference room as I approached the door. A guard bowed to me and explained that he was having a meeting with the Duke of Sussex, the Duke of Cornwall, the Duke of Cumberland and the Duke of Norfolk. I nodded and told him that I would return later when the door opened.
"Ah your Majesty. So wonderful to see you." Spencer said bowing to me and kissing my hand.
"Your grace." I said bowing to him and smiling brightly.
"You look marvelous." He said and I smiled brighter, if possible. Maria had been to visit me often, giving me advice on being a new mother and what to expect. But Spencer I had not seen since my coronation.
"How are you?" I asked clasping his hand tightly.
"Quite well, quite well. Just settling a little perimeter dispute." He said with a smile.
"A perimeter dispute?" I said looking back at the open door. "From the four sides of the country?" I raised my eyebrows at him and he chuckled.
"His majesty has given us each a task. We must build castles, fit for kings, which we may occupy while the king is not residing in them."
"Castles?" I said looking at him. "Will you stay in them?"
"His majesty commands it."
"But what about…" I paused thinking of Maria and Theodore's grave.
"I think it is better if we get away from that house. His locked room is a constant reminder of what is missing in our lives." He said sadly. "Besides I have to stay in the castle. His majesty has asked us to build towers for monitoring the water." He whispered.
"Monitoring the water for what?" I asked leaning in closer to him. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, but was interrupted.
"Darling." Adam said from the doorway. I nodded at Spencer, which said that we would talk later and turned to him. He was wearing a black tunic with silver trimmings and he had started growing a mustache.
"Your Majesty." I said bowing to him and noticed the men standing around. They all smiled at me apart from one. And even though a thick beard covered his face I knew it was him. "Your graces." I said to them, giving them a slight curtsy.
"We were just having a small gathering. Planning the upcoming celebrations for my son." He beamed as his hands touched my stomach. I smiled at him and then looked over his shoulder at Jesse. He narrowed his eyes at me and I sighed.
"How are you feeling?" The Duke of Cornwall asked me. His cold blue eyes and his blonde hair did not fool me. Even after three years Paul still made me shiver. His eyes looked upon me as if he were going to devour me. He studied my swollen stomach and swollen face with a look of disgust and repulsion.
"Excellent." I lied with a large smile. "In perfect health." I watched him smile, to the best of his ability and nod. "How are your wife and son?" I asked. He looked bothered by my question and raised his eyebrows.
"They are in York at my fathers summer home. Last I heard they were doing well. The boy's just started to walk." He said as if it were the most boring story in the world.
"You have not seen them?"
"I have better things to do that watch a child learn to walk." He said then bowed to Adam and excused himself. I raised my eyebrows and watched him stride down the hall, black cape flapping with each step.
"Can you imagine!" I said with shock.
"Imagine what darling?" Adam said gently rubbing my neck.
"A father taking no part in his child's life." I said and the men just stared at me. Adam studied my face and then laughed.
"Ah darling." He looked at the other men. "Her emotions seem to take the best of her in these last days." The men all laughed and I felt my face heat up. "Come let us talk." He said placing his arm on my back and leading me into the conference room. I looked at Jesse as he found the tiles more interesting than I.
"Susanna." Adam sighed and rubbed his face once the door was closed.
"What?" I asked sitting in the nearest chair.
"Royal men never take part in their children's lives." He said sitting at the head of the table. "You must know that."
"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. How can you call yourself a father if you aren't even there for your child?" I snapped. He studied my face and sighed.
"What did you come here for?" He asked, dismissing the subject. I took a deep breath and pushed my anger away.
"I received a letter from Debbie." I said and he nodded. "But of course you read that already." I snapped again.
"I have to Susanna. I already explained this to you. Its for your safety."
"Safety! Ha." I laughed sarcastically. I got up and walked to the window behind him. "You just want to know all of my business."
"Your business is my business Susanna! You are my wife!" He snapped back.
"I'm not allowed to open my own letters and then tell you about them after I've read them?"
"And I'm supposed to believe that you would tell me everything that is in the letter?"
"So this isn't about my safety! This is about trust!" I yelled. "You don't trust me enough! What kind of marriage is this?"
"A stressful one it would seem." He said rubbing his face. His comment took me back and I felt it hit me like a stone to the chest. I held onto the window ledge for support and tried to hold back the tears.
"I'm going to visit my sister." I said finally.
"Absolutely not. I will not have you giving birth to the future King of England in a shack."
"A shack? Is that truly how you think of my life?"
"Your life is here. Not there." He said picking of a piece of parchment and reading it.
"They were once my life. They will always be a part of me." I said, the tears falling down my face.
"Susanna, your tired. Don't upset yourself over this. Go and have a cup of tea and a hot bath. You'll be fine after you rest." He said dismissing me. I stared at the back of his head and had the urge to hit him. I wiped the tears from my face and lifted my head.
"Your Majesty." I spat and strode, well waddled, out of the door. I held my tears back all the way to my suite. Once inside the doors I lay on my bed, cuddled beside Lucan and sobbed into his fur till I fell asleep.
"She must be protected." I heard someone whisper. I opened one swollen eye and noted that darkness had fallen.
"It's too risky." A girl whispered back. "What if we get caught?"
"How do you think he'll react?"
"Please don't ask this of me."
"You may not have to do anything." There was a pause and a sigh. "All I'm asking is if it is- then you take care of it."
"Ceecee?" I asked recognizing one of the voices. There was a pause and I could feel the fear in the air.
"Your Majesty! You're awake." She said rushing into the room. I heard the parlor door open and close and sat up.
"Who was here?"
"Just a servant clearing the dishes. You slept through dinner." She said fixing the strands of hair that had fallen out of the net.
"What were you talking about?" She paused for a second and then sighed.
"Ah one of the girls is in trouble." She said looking at me. "You know…trouble."
"Oh. Poor girl." I said watching her fluster around the room.
"Would you like to change into your dressing gown?" She asked as I opened my mouth to inquire about the conversation.
"Oh, um, no. I need you and Lady Regan to pack a small trunk for me."
"A trunk?" She looked at me curiously. "Why?"
"I'm going to visit my sister." I said with a sigh.
"The King allowed it?" She asked and I frowned.
"Of course." I lied. My first lie to her. She studied my face and she knew I was lying but she nodded.
"I shall get her. She was just out walking Lucan." She said bowing to me. "I left a small plate of food on the table if you are still hungry." Then she disappeared and I was left in the suite by myself.
I looked out the dark window and sighed. If he caught me leaving there would be hell to pay, but I wasn't going to let him have complete control of my life. I was going to see my family and there was nothing he could do about it.
About two hours later we were ready to leave. I put on a simple black dress and my black riding gloves, even though I wouldn't be riding. I grabbed my black travelling cloak and nodded to Ceecee and Regan that I was ready to go. As we quietly crept down the hall we passed the dinning hall where laughter and loud music was playing. Lucan growled quietly and I looked to Lady Regan for an answer and she frowned.
"An early celebration for your son." She said. I heard a girl shriek and I peeked into the room. A young, curly red headed girl sat on Adam's lap and laughed as she fed him a grape. My stomach churned and I felt as if I were going to faint.
"Who is that girl?" I asked studying her. Lucan looked up at me and then whined.
"She's the bar keep at the Black Bucket." Ceecee whispered.
"How did she get this honour?" I said fighting more tears.
"Your majesty we should keep moving if we are to get there for morning." Regan said. An hour ago she was furious with me for wanting to travel at night yet now she was urging me on.
"How did she get this honour?" I asked again, this time more sternly. Ceecee sighed.
"Adam visits the pub frequently after his hunting trips. I guess they met there."
"He invited a bar keep to our house?" I asked insulted by her presence and watched as he whispered in her ear.
"Susanna…" Ceecee urged as footsteps were heard behind us. Lucan pulled on my traveling cloak slightly. I scowled at the girl and then nodded.
"Right. Lets continue." I said walking away.
We managed to get out of the castle gates without anyone noticing. Lucan lay on the seat beside me and I cried silently as we jostled our way down the dirt road.
"We'll be staying at the Honeymoon house, ironically enough." I said wiping my sorrows away.
"Your Majesty. I apologize for not sending a servant ahead of us. I had no idea that we would be staying there." Regan said worried.
"It's fine. It was a…spontaneous adventure." I said with a chuckle.
"He doesn't know does he?" Ceecee said. Even though I could not see her face I knew she was smiling.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." I said and Regan gasped.
"The King does not know where you are?"
"He'll know." I said rubbing my stomach to sooth the frantic kicking of my child. "And knowing him, he'll say that he gave me permission to go."
"But he'll be extremely upset when we return." Ceecee said worried.
"Fear not. No harm will come to you." I reached forward, gave each of their hands a tight squeeze and then the carriage fell into silence. They fell asleep about an hour later and I sat peacefully listening to Ceecee snore for the rest of the trip.
As the sun was coming up we reached the house. The garden had been tended to and the house was spotless. The driver placed the trunks in our rooms and disappeared into the stable with Lea.
We changed into our plainest clothes, yellow summer dresses meant for the August heat. We wrapped blankets around ourselves and started the fire to keep warm. Then we heated up some water and ate porridge.
"Does your sister know that we are here?"
"No one knows but us." I said.
"I suppose you will want to see them right away?" Regan said and I nodded.
"Tomorrow is the wedding. So I want to be of as much help that I can."
"Well I will get tell him not to take the harness off then." Regan said standing up.
"Don't be silly. Lea needs a break and it's not that far of a walk."
"Walk?" Regan gasped. "You can't be serious."
"I am completely serious. There is a path just behind the house that leads to my fathers. I know of this because I made it." I said with a smile. "It shouldn't take us very long if we keep a steady pace."
"A steady pace?" Ceecee said with a smirk. "You can hardly walk for ten minutes."
"Well today I'm going to walk for an hour." I said with a defiant nod and she chuckled.
"Whatever you say Your Majesty."
The walk had taken us longer than an hour. I got lost in the fresh air and the new flowers blooming. I watched the grass sparkle with the morning due and Lucan chase after the rabbits. We talked about the baby and how I would've loved to raise him here. He would be a kind, gentle boy if I raised him here. Not proud and stubborn like his father.
Jacob's house appeared first. There was smoke coming out of the chimney and I could hear the cry of a baby. My heart melted at the sight of it. And then tears appeared in my eyes when I saw my father's house. I knew I had missed home but I hadn't realized I had missed it this much. I sat on the grass and stared at the two houses as I started to cry.
"Tears again?" Ceecee sighed exasperated.
"It's common this late in a pregnancy." Regan explained sitting beside me and rubbing my back.
"I just missed it so much." I said.
"Well let's not put off your reunion any longer." Regan smiled. "I'm sure the children are excited to see you again." I nodded and held her hand tightly as she lifted me off the grass.
A tiny blonde boy raced out the front door of Debbie's house stark naked. I smiled as I watched Samuel hide behind a tree.
"Nathaniel James! Get back here this instant!" Debbie screamed appearing at the door. I looked at the small boy in wonder. Of course that would be Nathaniel. Samuel was taller when I left. Had I been gone that long that the little baby I had rocked to sleep had turned into a small child? "NATHANIEL!" Debbie screamed again and then spotted us. She shaded her eyes from the sun and watched us walk over the hill. Then she clutched her chest, said something to who ever was in the house and started running to us.
"You're here!" She screamed and I watched three faces appear in the doorway.
"AUNTIE!" Aggie and Samuel cried and all at once I had three people running at me. I laughed so hard I cried. They attacked me all at once, each one clingy to me as if I were a raft on the sea.
"Oh Susanna!" Debbie said sobbing. "I am so glad to see you!"
"We missed you." Aggie said.
"And look at you. You look wonderful." She said and I laughed wiping the tears away.
"You look wonderful!" I said noting the slight wrinkles around her eyes and the slight thickness to her waistline. But her eyes sparkled with happiness and she had never looked better. "You all look wonderful." I said standing back and taking in the children before me.
Aggie was taller, reaching just under my shoulder and skinny as ever. Her hair was long and jet-black, in a tight braid behind her head and she had more freckles on her nose.
Samuel was still very small but had grown slightly since turning 5. He had cut back his long curls and his hair was short and bright. When he smiled he was missing his two front teeth and he was more than happy to show it off.
Nathaniel clutched his mother's skirts tightly as he sucked on his thumb. He was the spitting image of his brother but with longer curls and a dirtier face. He studied me with a curious expression, completely forgotten who I was.
"Look at you. You have grown so much!" I said touching their cheeks. I smiled down at Nathaniel and winked. "Remember me?" He shook his head and hid behind her skirts.
"That's Aunt Susanna silly." Aggie said, clutching my hand tightly.
"It's ok. It has been a long time since he has seen me. He doesn't remember."
"But we remember you!" Samuel said hugging me again. I smiled down at him and kissed his cheek.
"Come. I'm sure your father will want to see you." She said leading me to his house.
"How is everyone?" I asked as she linked her arm through mine.
"Everyone is in fine health. Although we did have a scare just after Christmas."
"Aggie almost died from the sweating sickness. We had to stay in Grandpa's house for two months." Samuel said. "Momma was the only one allowed to see her. Not even Poppa."
"Poor Aggie." I said clutching her tightly to me.
"I'm all better now though! I can't wait to see your baby!"
"Its still a months time before he will be born." I smiled at down at her.
"I can't believe you travelled this far along into your pregnancy."
"It was an uncomfortable ride but we managed." I said and smiled at my two ladies.
"We snuck out in the dead of night." Ceecee said with a hint of adventure in her voice.
"Snuck out?" Aggie asked with wide eyes.
"You rode through the night?" Samuel asked in awe. "Was there any bandits?"
"Well there was the one group." Ceecee said mischievously. "But your aunt fought them off with a long sword." He studied her and then me and laughed.
"You're lying." He said shaking his head and we all laughed.
"What's so funny?" Papa said appearing at the front door. He caught sight of me and a huge smile grew on his face. "You came." He whispered and reached out and touched my face.
"Of course." I said and then wrapped my arms around my father and inhaled the familiar scents of him. I instantly felt at home.
"Boys! Your sisters home!" He yelled in my ear and I smiled as I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned around a giant red headed boy met me. He towered over Papa and I.
"My God. You are huge!" I said to David and he smirked at me.
"So are you." He teased kissing my cheek and touching my stomach. Johnny appeared beside him and smiled at me.
"Johnny." I said smiling at the pimply teen. "You've been taking care of him I see." I said pointing to my brother. He looked up at him and smiled, a certain twinkle in my eye. "I've tried too. How are you feeling?"
"Tired and hungry." I said.
"Lets get some food then." Papa said turning into the house. As we entered the house I saw someone sitting by the fire. His hair was shaggy and his beard was thick, but his cool grey eyes gave him away.
"Brad." I said quietly. He turned to me and smiled. Then grabbed a pair of crutches, hoisted himself up and hobbled towards me. He had lost his left leg at the knee and the sight of a dangling pant leg was unnerving. He looked down at his leg and smiled slightly.
"At least I'm alive." He said in a soft tone. It was unusual to see Brad so quiet and gentle. He wrapped an arm around me and hugged me tightly. "I'm so glad to see you." He said and tears pooled in my eyes.
"I'm glad to see you too." I said in complete honesty. "And I'm glad that you're finally marrying her. It's been too long." He nodded and sighed.
"I've missed so much." He smiled. "He's almost four now." He said proudly.
"Have you seen him?" I said remembering how Brad was not allowed to go near Gina's house.
"Are you kidding? He's been there everyday!" David said as he put the kettle over the fire. "Or she's been here." He laughed. "Heck the only reason why she isn't here is because tomorrows their wedding day."
"Are you nervous?" I asked as I pulled a chair close to his.
"Extremely." He said holding my hand tightly. "But tell me about you. How is life…in court?"
"Boring." I said honestly. "I'm not allowed to do anything in this condition." I said pointing to my stomach. "I'm allowed to sit and knit but that's about all."
"Oh Susanna." Regan sighed. "She gets out for walks and attends the parties. She's just not allowed to go riding or dance." I smirked at Brad and he laughed. All the sudden a playful shriek came from the front door and we all looked over. Jacob stood bent over holding the hands of a dark haired 8-month-old baby girl. I watched them in awe as she smiled proudly walking though the front door.
"Ah the princess has arrived." Papa said laughing as the baby bounced slightly in his father's hands.
"Oh my. She is precious!" Regan said watching her walk .
"I can't believe she's so big!" I said standing up. I kissed my brother and bent down, to the best of my ability, and smiled at my niece. She studied my face with bright grey eyes and looked weary for a second. Then she smiled, let go of Jacob's hands and held her arms out to me. I laughed as I hugged her tightly and watched her curious face study mine.
"It's like you're long lost friends." Debbie said and I laughed.
"She is adorable." I kissed her cheek and she laughed. "Aren't you Annie?"
"Her name is Anne Susanna, not Annie." Jacob scolded and I rolled my eyes at Aggie who laughed.
"Don't worry, we call her Annie when Papa's not around." Aggie whispered and Annie laughed and reached up for her sister.
"You finally got your girl." I said and then bit my tongue as Aggie looked up at me wounded. "I mean another girl." I laughed and kissed her head. "Sometimes I forget that you're not my daughter." I said recovering and tried not to notice the looks of worry on everyone's face. Aggie laughed and walked away, accepting my lie as a compliment. "So when is the wedding?"
"Tomorrow at noon." Brad said.
"Where will you live?" I asked sitting beside him.
"With her father. He's in poor heath and needs help on the farm." I looked at my brother failing to hide my pity.
"I can still lead a horse and plow Susanna." He laughed and again he shocked me with his happy nature.
"Of course." I said with a smile. "So tell me, how have you been all these years?" I said finally getting the chance to actually get to know my brother.
The day passed in a blur. I sat with Brad and talked for hours while we played with Anne and Nathaniel and helped Debbie peel potatoes. We talked about Gina and Henry, we talked about the war and his plans for the future. After dinner we sat around catching up and talking about the olds days. Regan asked a lot of questions about our mother, which Papa was happy to fill in. We stayed so late that it seemed silly and dangerous to walk back to the honeymoon house. So Papa set us up in David's room and Regan, Ceecee and I shared the large bed, which had been made specially for David's tall size.
The next morning I awoke to the kicks of my child. He wouldn't let me rest no matter which way I slept. After half an hour of trying to get comfortable I decided enough was enough and went down to make myself some tea. Brad was sitting my the fire and David and Johnny were up and outside getting the horses ready.
"Couldn't sleep?" I asked startling him.
"I'm too excited." He said smiling sleepily at me. "This is what I have been waiting for since I first realized I loved her." I felt my heart melt and smiled.
"Well I'm happy for you." I said and then winced as he kicked right below my rib cage. Brad saw me clutch my stomach and frowned.
"Are you alright?"
"He hates me. I swear it." I said taking the boiling water off the fire and pouring two cups of tea. I sat beside him and through my dress you could see the baby kicking me. "I'm surprised I don't have bruises."
"That strong huh?" He said watching my stomach ripple and flinch. "Are you nervous?" He asked and I thought about this.
"I don't think I am nervous to be a mother. I'm nervous at what he's going to be like as the future king of England. I don't want a snobby posh child when I grew up as a poor happy one. I want this life for him not that one." I said looking around the cabin.
"Hard times do make your soul stronger, but at least he'll never starve or know what it's like to go hungry." He said and I nodded. We fell into a peaceful silence and watched the fire crackle as the rest of the house woke up. When Ceecee and Regan entered the living room we decided that it was better if we walked back to the house, where our trunks were and would meet the rest of the family at the church.
We walked with linked arms and Regan talked about the beauty of my family and how truly blessed I was. About half way to the house the baby kicked so hard in my lower abdomen I was out of breath and almost collapsed.
"Your Majesty?" She said concern all over her face as she bent down beside me.
"It's fine." I gasped. "He just kicked me."
"He's never kicked you to the point where you cant breathe." Ceecee said.
"Are you sure he kicked you? You're not in labour are you?" Regan said and I shook my head.
"Its too soon for labour." I said struggling to stand. "Its just a kick. I'm fine." But as we walked the rest of the way I bit back the pain that was radiating through my stomach and taking over my whole body.
Seeing Gina was a marvel. She was a beautiful bride in a bright yellow dress with flowers in her hair and a spring to her step. And Henry was just as cute. He wore a yellow dress shirt and black tights with a black hat. He carried his parent's rings down the aisle with a certain purpose. He smiled at the guests and cheered when his parents exchanged vows. He looked up proudly at his father when they received the guests outside of the church.
When the dinner was done and the dancing started Brad grabbed Gina's hand and they swayed back and forth, allowing them to have their first dance without causing Brad pain or embarrassment. He kissed her deeply and for the first time they both looked happy.
About closer to the end of the night Gina collapsed on the seat beside me and smiled. With the wine she had drank her eyes gave off a certain sparkle and she winked at me.
"Oh Susanna! I am so happy!" She said grinning and watching her son and husband play a game of arm wrestling.
"I'm happy for you Gina." I said wincing at another pain. She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Labour?"
"He's just kicking like crazy." She raised her eyebrows at me and I sighed. "It's too early."
"It can still happen." She said leaning closer to me.
"I think I might be." I said for the first time admitting the thing that scared me the most. She touched my face and felt my forehead.
"You're not sweating." She said more to herself than to me. "How often does it come?"
"Every couple of hours. It's not consistent." I said honestly.
"Have you released water yet?"
"No." I said trying to remember what Regan had said would be the sure signs of labour. She nodded and smiled.
"It might just be early signs of labour. I think you should go home and rest. Try and keep this baby inside." She said kissing my cheek. "Everything will be fine." She whispered as tears formed in my eyes.
"I'm scared Gina."
"I was scared too, but it is the most wonderful thing to hold your baby in your arms and look at the little person you've just created." She kissed my cheek and pushed my hair back.
"Thank you."
"We're sisters now! We need to look out for each other." I smiled brightly and kissed her cheek. I kissed my brother and nephew goodbye and met Regan and Ceecee at the carriage.
"Why must we leave so early?" Ceecee whined and I felt guilty.
"You can stay if you'd like." I said to her and she grinned brightly at me.
"It's OUR JOB to stay by your side Susanna." Regan said scolding Ceecee at the same time.
"It's fine Regan." I said nodding to Ceecee. "You can travel back with my father when your ready." She kissed my cheek and disappeared back into the dancing crowd.
"Your Majesty is too kind to her."
"She is a dear friend." I said as the carriage started bouncing away from the party. "Besides one of us might as well have fun." Regan clucked at me and sighed.
"You're Majesty! Wake up!" Regan said and I could hear Lucan whining beside me. I opened my eyes and squinted at the candle burning beside my face. Regan hovered over me with her long braid hanging over her shoulder. "Susanna!"
"I'm awake. I'm awake!" I grumbled as I rubbed my eyes and adjusted to the light. "What is it?" Regan looked at me horrified and as a sharp, hot pain rippled through my stomach I knew. I tried to sit up but it was impossible. She lifted the blankets back and a dark pool of blood stained my nightgown and the sheets beneath me. "Oh my God!" I whispered and I started to shake. "What's happening?" She looked at me with a sad expression and I shook my head.
"You're losing him." She said. "Where is that girl?" She cursed Ceecee for not being there. "I'll go fetch the doctor."
"No!" I grabbed her hand as she turned away. "There's no time." I said feeling the baby pushing down and the sudden need to push. She looked at me and blanked. "You need to help." I gasped as the pain blinded me. I was aware of the sheets being pulled back and Regan shouting for help. I heard her shout at someone and tell them to boil water. Then she held my leg back and told me to push.
The pain was unbearable, but my body told me to keep pushing, to get the baby out. I pushed until my head hurt and I felt dizzy. As the baby slipped out I collapsed back onto the pillows, sweaty and tired. The room was eerily quiet and I felt myself start to lose consciousness. Just as everything faded away I heard a cry in the distance. A baby's cry.
"She'll be so heartbroken." I heard someone whisper.
"He'll be furious." Another whispered back. "He'll have both of our heads."
"It must never be spoken of do you understand?" I groaned as I tried to roll over and a cool hand touched my forehead.
"Susanna?" a male voice spoke beside me. Light was coming in the windows and the world was awakening outside.
"My baby?" I asked feeling my empty womb.
"I'm sorry Susanna. I did everything I could." He said again. I turned and saw Dr. Smith staring at me. In three years he had barely aged. Apart from a couple of wrinkles brought by a new baby and a black mustache he still looked like he was a kid.
"Reg." I said holding out my hand and smiled.
"Susanna." He said with a sad smile.
"Where is my baby?" he looked at Regan and she nodded at him.
"He's- with God now." He said and I felt tears pool in my eyes. My world felt as if it had just been tipped over. My child was gone, brought too early into this world and stolen away from me.
"I- I want to see him." I said wiping my tears away.
"Susanna, I don't think that's-" Regan started but I held out my hand.
"I want to see him." Regan looked at Reginald and sighed. She left for a brief moment, leaving us alone.
"You can't travel for at least a week."
"Does my husband know?" I asked feeling my stomach turn at the thought of Adam.
"We sent a message." He said nodding. Regan appeared in the doorway was a small bundle of blankets.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked as tears poured down my face. I nodded and held out my arms. She hesitated, sharing a brief glance with Reginald and then placed him in my arms.
He was tiny. Not even half the size of my forearm. His face was peaceful yet blue and his skin was ice cold and stiff. As I traced my finger over his face and his light hair I said a silent prayer for him. I apologized for bringing him to early and told him I loved him more than anything in the world. Then I handed him back and watched Dr. Smith take my son away.