A/N- The first of my Christmassy updates. This is my least favourite to be honest, but it was one of the first ideas that came into my head when I thought about their first Christmas, and it links a little to a later chapter so I left it in.

Disclaimer- I don't own TV shows!

Meredith had been called into an emergency surgery shortly before the end of her last pre-Christmas shift, and by the time she finally arrived home Derek was in bed catching a few hours' sleep before their early flight the next day. Meredith didn't bother to turn on the lights, instead going straight to the dark bathroom to pee and quickly brush her teeth. Derek had been given strict instructions to finish packing after his shift, and load the suitcases into the car so that they wouldn't have to worry about waking anyone when they left for their 7am flight. Knowing that she would probably be worried enough at the prospect of meeting the rest of his family, he had obliged, taking the opportunity to add the rest of Meredith's presents into his own suitcase. The early start wasn't anything he wasn't used to, but knowing that he rarely slept when he was in the air, he'd wanted to catch a few extra hours before the madness of Christmas at his mother's ensued. Ever the light sleeper, He heard Meredith bump into the counter in the bathroom and curse, laughing to himself as he switched on the lamps. She walked out of the bathroom when she saw the lights come on, toothbrush in her mouth, scrubbing her teeth until she spotted two familiar objects next to Derek.

"What are Seattle and Boston doing on your nightstand?" she said with a mouthful of foam, the hand holding the toothbrush dropping to her side.

"I'm sorry who?" Derek chuckled at the gathering of toothpaste in the corners of her mouth. She was the complete opposite of Addison when it came to her nightly routine, not particularly caring if he saw her with dirty hair or with toothpaste on her chin. She was totally at ease with him and he loved that about her. He grinned in awe of what he got to wake up next to for the next sixty years, this perfectly inelegant creature who loved him just as much as he loved her. She frowned at his cheesy smile, poking her tongue out to retrieve the foam at the corners of her mouth.

"Seattle and Boston." she said gesturing to two slightly worn teddy bears on Derek's nightstand. She ducked into the bathroom to rinse her mouth and dispose of her brush, coming out of the bathroom and towards the drawers where she kept the clothes she wore to bed. "Where'd you even find them?" Derek watched as she stripped in front of him, slightly aroused that she didn't think twice about showing off her naked body to him, intentionally or otherwise.

"They were in the same box as anatomy Jane, I spotted them when you pulled her out the other day. I thought they deserved a little sunlight, they look pretty loved. I never pegged you as the teddy bear type." He picked up the pair and handed them to her as she slid into bed beside him. She held them to her chest breathing in their dusty scent. "seriously, though Seattle and Boston?"

"My mom brought them for me. They're the only things I remember just her giving to me. Seattle was a birthday gift I think, a couple of years before anatomy Jane. Mom had been on a trip and she got home late the night before my birthday and she had Seattle with her. I think I asked her what to name it and Seattle was the best she could come up with. I eventually figured out that it said Seattle on its shirt, but Three year old me didn't know any different. I was just excited that she'd gotten me a gift at all. Thatcher tended to do the gifts and he wasn't great at buying things. He tried, but Lexie agrees that his gift buying skills are pretty hopeless." Derek smiled, she rarely talked about her mother, or Thatcher, but of late Meredith was remembering a lot of the good things Ellis had done, silly things that were probably huge for Ellis at the time, but were lost amongst the business of their lives. She'd begun to see many of Ellis' actions to have been deliberate as opposed to the accidental happiness Meredith thought her mother gave to her. She had spoken to Lexie on more than one occasion about her father, knowing that she wasn't ready to face him again yet, but may be able to tolerate one day. It took a lot of therapy to start to heal the wounds that both of her parents had inflicted on her, but the scars were still there, and he knew she was trying to move past them despite the pain it caused her. He couldn't ask for more. She was part of his family now, and he did what he could to make the pain go away. He couldn't change what had happened in her past, but he could ensure that her future was filled with nothing but love and a feeling of always being wanted, never a burden, the complete opposite of her traumatic upbringing.

"What about Boston?" he prodded, hoping it would invoke a happy memory.

"She flew out there for her interview. I didn't want her to go, and kicked up a bit of a stink, but she went anyway and brought Boston home with her. I've had them with me ever since. Right beside my pillow until I started college, then they were relegated to my desk. I guess when I packed up to come back I just forgot about them. Didn't you have one as a kid? You were all bright and shiny, you can't tell me you didn't have some dusty old toy that you dragged round everywhere."

"I had a stuffed dog, I wore one of his ears off by the time I was five. He's currently hairless and living at mom's on my nightstand. He didn't make it to college. I was way too cool to have a stuffed animal with me."

"Aw that's sweet, I can just imagine you and your little hairless dog hanging onto your mom's hand, I bet you were cute as a kid. I was scrawny and bald almost until grade school."

"We all had one, Kathleen has a cat, Nancy had a horse, I had my snuggles, Lizzie had a tiger and Amy has a cow I think. And since you mentioned it, there is a lot of photographic proof that I was an incredibly cute child, not that that fact has changed." Meredith rolled her eyes and tutted at him before considering the name of his toy.

"Um... snuggles?"

"What it's better than Boston and Seattle. I was a new-born, I doubt I had much say in the name, all five of them are called snuggles, it's just what dad did. He'd buy my mom flowers and presents for all the kids, I got my first RC car when Amy was born, and being six at the time I was seriously impressed."

"I see you had your priorities straight! Are you gonna do that when we have kids, y'know, buy them stuff so they don't feel like they've been replaced or whatever, and do all those cheesy things dads are supposed to do?" Derek loved it when she mentioned kids as though now they were engaged, it was just a given that they have their own little bunch running around the house. The tiny scrubs they'd brought when they were shopping were in the back of Meredith's closet on top of a box of photos that she'd promised she'd show him when she was ready, just not yet. He didn't push, there were no photos on the walls when he'd stayed the first night with her, he'd found it odd at the time, but knowing Meredith as he did now, he could bet there simply weren't actually many photos to display. He was fairly certain that the box contained the few that she did have. Her childhood was worlds apart from his own, and he knew that it would take a lot of convincing her that their kids wouldn't suffer the same fate that she did as a child. She'd spoken all too often about having kids one day, but he wasn't sure if anything would make her feel anywhere near ready for her own child as much as she may want one.

"Definitely, they'll have bears from all the places we ever visit," he joked seeing the slight smile on her face.

"And apparently little toys called snuggles." she retaliated. "The poor little things are screwed." she joked.

"Good job I make neurosurgeon money, if all five are gonna need so much therapy from having such awful parents." She raised her eyebrows at him, ignoring his grin.

"Five? Again with the five? Two. Maybe three if we don't ruin the first two, but five, no. if we have a third, my legs will be closed to you forever. And I'm not awful, they'll be ugly if the take after me but it's you who will leave them needing therapy."

"Three's a good start." he chuckled, "and any child of yours will be the most beautiful person either of us will ever see. You're incredibly beautiful Meredith. I got incredibly lucky to end up with you. Now sleep, we have to be up early if we want to get to the airport in time." Meredith pressed a kiss to his lips as she snuggled against him for the night. Derek turned out the lights and squeezed her tightly, waiting for her soft snores before he fell asleep himself. He knew she was thinking about something, in all likelihood the prospect of three more shepherd sisters, so he kissed the top of her hair, silently telling her to share her fears with him.

"And you're sure they won't hate me?" she asked him. It had been a question that had come from her lips many times that week, despite the warm and friendly reception she'd received on the phone from each of his family members.

"I'm certain, they'll all love you, and they just want a chance to meet you before the wedding. We're armed with Christmas gifts, so I think we're safe." Meredith nodded, before yawning into his chest. If nothing else she'd have Derek by her side to keep her safe. "You're exhausted." Derek observed, I need you perky and fresh so we can join the mile high club tomorrow."

"In your dreams Shepherd." she joked letting her eyelids close and drifting slowly off to sleep. He followed soon after, certain that they would have no problems with his family, and he couldn't wait for them to meet Meredith and fall in love with her just as quickly as he had.

Meredith was excited for Christmas, she was, but she was also utterly terrified. Derek had told her a hundred times that Nancy no longer referred to her as slutty, and had accepted that Derek loved her, but she was still scared about meeting all of the Shepherd sisters, brothers in law and grandchildren all at once. That was 23 people that she'd never met all in one place. Derek watched her as she checked the contents of her purse again. She'd put her photo box at the bottom when Derek was showering and though she wasn't exactly hiding it, she didn't want him to ask about it either. She was ready to show him, but not early in the morning before an eight hour flight. Derek dismissed her fiddling as nerves and pulled her into his embrace.

"Meredith, we're only going to see them on Christmas Eve and for dinner Christmas day and by Boxing Day they'll all love you so you don't need to worry. My sisters are dying to hear the proposal story, so you can spend the entire time talking about just how wonderful i am and they'll love you forever." she punched him playfully.

"They'll think I'm a liar." she giggled, letting him pick her up and throw her on the bed, kissing her neck and tickling her so he could hear her giggle for longer.

"Mom loves you already, so she'll put them straight, send them to their room, or make them go without dessert. she's very strict." he grinned at her, kissing her on the lips and just looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She was, and he knew that, but he still liked to remind himself every once in a while. "Are you packed?" he asked her, hoping that she finally had everything that she wanted to take.

"I'm packed," she assured him zipping up her purse and grabbing the padlock she'd kept from her travels around Europe to clip onto her suitcase. Derek picked up their carry ons and carried them downstairs. Meredith had repacked her three times not wanting forget anything. She pulled several small gift bags out from her closet and set them down on the kitchen table with a note for Izzie and Alex wishing them a merry Christmas. she did a quick check of every room ensuring she hadn't forgotten anything important, when she was satisfied, she linked her arm through Derek's and made for the car, locking the door behind them both. Derek loaded the car and got in tracing the familiar route to the airport. He was excited to spend a holiday with his family, he just had to convince Meredith that New York would be much better than she was expecting.

It was before five when they reached the airport, and given the hour it was quiet. There were a few staff in festive dress, clearly wishing they were anywhere else two days before Christmas. Check in was quick, and their luggage was tagged and ready to leave in plenty of time. Derek left Meredith near a large Christmas tree as he took a trip to the bathroom, and when he returned she was staring at the twinkling lights muttering something under her breath.

"Kathleen, Ryan, Dylan, Jennifer, Hailey, Jacob, Taylor, Madison. Nancy, warren, Natalie, Amber, Brandon, Louis, Erin. Lizzie, Doug, Brooke, Riley, Jayden, Paige. Amy, Brad, no kids." She repeated, nodding her head as though counting the people in the pictures that Derek had in his office of each of his sisters and their families. She took a few deep breaths, looking up when she heard his footsteps.

"You don't have to remember them all." He whispered into her hair as he pulled her into his arms. "Mark still hasn't figured it out and he met each kid nearly as soon as I did. There's so many of them, they're all used to being called the wrong name. We pretty much answer to anything by now."

"I want it to be perfect Derek. I don't want to make a complete idiot of myself and have them all hate me because I can't even remember their names."

"Meredith look at me." He said as he let her out of his grip. She looked up at him, her eyes sheening slightly with fearful tears. "You are going to be there. With my family. Who will be altogether after years of someone always being missing. Even if you can't remember everyone's names it will be so far beyond perfect I promise. I love you so much, and I'm so happy. Nothing anyone could do is going to change that. I get to spend Christmas with the love of my life, it's already perfect. Everything else is just a bonus." He gave her a Mcdreamy smile and kissed her deeply. She leaned in and kissed him back, her hands finding his dark curls, only pulling away when their flight was called to board.

Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the arm rest as the plane eventually began to move. She'd been quiet since they'd sat down, but he'd never seen her this scared. Derek looked at her, concern filling his gaze. He rested his hand on her thigh, rubbing gently to try and soothe her. Her eyes opened a fraction, meeting his.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I hate this part."

"Okay," he soothed. "I'm right here. It's all going to be fine." She grabbed his hand squeezing it until the seatbelt sign flashed.

"Is it safe to open my eyes now?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"It's safe." Derek assured her smiling slightly. He loved finding out new things about Meredith, even small things like her fear of take-off. And despite her hesitance in telling him some things, nothing she had ever revealed ever made him love her any less, in fact, it was pretty much the opposite. "I wouldn't have let anything happen to you, you know that right?"

"I know." She forced a small smile. "I still hate that bit though. The first time I was on a plane, I screamed the entire take off. Mom just told me to shut up. But I was so freaking confused and just terrified, that I cried myself to sleep. I haven't been a fan since then."

"I promise that you never have to be afraid again. I will always be here to hold your hand. Do you need a hug?" he tilted his head and she nodded. He pulled up the arm rest, pulling her into his lap, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I love you." She breathed. "A lot. I am glad I get to meet everyone, and see where you grew up. But it's scary for me, having a proper family and a real Christmas. It's all new, and weird, and I'm kind of freaked out by how perfect your sisters are. They all have it all. Kids and careers, it's a lot to live up to. I know it's a long time before we have kids but they do it so perfectly. I'm not great at perfect."

"I think you're perfect for me," He said truthfully. "And for the record, my sisters are far from perfect. Kathleen was ready to kiss her career goodbye when she had her third in four years, but she went back to work eventually, and still went on to have three more. She's worked really hard to get where she is. She had some amazing offers, but she sacrificed so much for her kids. I know you'd pick family over your career any day. You're not like your mother. You know how awful it was to grow up that way, and you wouldn't let that happen to our kids." It had been on her mind for a while he knew. Whenever they mentioned babies, her mind wandered to her mother and the person that she desperately didn't want to be.

"Okay," Meredith said quietly, Derek rubbing her back gently. He wasn't going to push her, she'd grown so much in the last few months, they needed to let the ground settle before they seriously thought about things that were years away.

"How about we call the contractor when we get home, and tell him that we're ready to break ground, and while he does that, we can start planning our wedding. Then once we're married, you say the word and we'll start trying for a baby. We don't have to get into anything heavy. We can just spend some time being us. And you can practice being a shepherd sister. They had hoped that Addison would become one of them until they met her and realised she wasn't really Shepherd material. You on the other hand, are going to be an instant hit. The girls will be thrilled to finally have a sister that isn't part of a country club or afraid to get her shoes dirty. I just want you to be ready. For all of it. I never want to force you to do anything you don't want to. I'll love you regardless of how our life pans out."

"Calm down Mcdreamy, I already agreed to marry you." She joked before yawning. Her lack of sleep was clearly catching up with her.

"You can sleep. I'll wake you up when we're nearly there." Meredith yawned again before snuggling into him, and letting her eyes drift closed. He kissed her gently, waiting for her to start snoring before he plugged in his headphones and began to watch the in-flight movie playing overhead. It seemed like no time before the seatbelt sign began to flash again and he pulled Meredith from her slumber, making sure to grip her hand as they made their descent, down into New York, and towards the place that before Meredith he used to call home.

She held onto his hand as she sleepily walked through the airport, accepting her suitcases when he passed them to her and following him to the car rental desk. Once they were packed up, Derek pulled away from the airport towards the place he'd left almost two years ago. Meredith reached over the console to squeeze his thigh. She knew that he was nervous too. New York held a lot of bad memories for him. He was excited to be with his family, but it still hurt to think about the things that had gone on before he left.

"It'll be fine." She promised. "I'll be there the whole time." He smiled and grabbed her hand in his own. She was right. They had each other, and an entire week to relax with his family. They drove in a contented silence before pulling into the large drive of a huge Victorian house lit up with decorations and lights, a wreath hung on the door. Derek paused a second before opening his door, walking around the car to open Meredith's.

"Ready?" he asked, a smile creeping onto his face.

"As I'll ever be." Meredith's grin matched his own.

"Welcome to Christmas." He said kissing her forehead before pulling her towards the door and ringing the bell.

"I can't wait." She smiled snuggling against him as he opened the door. Her first real Christmas, with Derek. Excited didn't even begin to cover it.

A/N- The next few chapters should appear fairly quickly, with all the cute Christmassy stuff in them. As always let me know your thoughts, reviews make my day