A/N: Now a really sad short one...don't worry. The next one will be happy. I promise.
Disclaimer: I'm not John Flanagan.
046: Horrific
"You can go in now," the midwife told Sean as she came out of the room. Sean stopped her before she could leave.
"Well?" he demanded. The midwife gave him a grim look that required no more explanation. Sean felt himself shatter into a thousand pieces. She walked away.
Kineta he thought. Sean opened the door and closed it gently behind him. He crossed the room to their bed. Fresh sheets and a new blanket had been put on it during cleanup. Kineta lay beneath the blanket in a clean shift. She stared out their window coldly without really seeing anything.
"Kineta?" he asked as he lay down next to her. He didn't even bother taking off his boots. He put his arm over her, gently kissing her shoulder. Silent tears fell onto her pillow as she continued to stare. "Kineta," he whispered as he choked on his own tears. He tried to hold her but she wouldn't budge. Without thinking his hand went down to her stomach. It still had the slight round shape he remembered but the tightness was gone. As he held his hand there her tears intensified. Sean leaned down and kissed her shoulder, unable to control his own tears now. "Please, Kineta," he begged. "Say something."
Kineta staggered her breaths as she tried to speak. "I-it's g-g-gone."
With that she rolled into his embrace. Sean held her tightly as he wept into her hair. Regrets filled his mind. He should have eased some of her duties as queen when they learned she was expecting. He should have taken better care of her. He should have insisted she relax while he tend the heavy matters of court or figured out she was pregnant sooner or…fed her better or…something. A physician told him earlier that sometimes these things 'just happen', but Sean refused to believe that. There had to be a reason. There was always a reason.
"You have to write Lina," Kineta whispered as her sobs subsided back to silent tears. "I can't."
"I will," Sean promised her. Luckily, Lina (and by extension Liam) and Halt were the only people they wrote about the pregnancy and both were excellent secret-keepers. Lina could relay the message quietly and it'd allow Sean to only pen the words once. He wasn't sure if he was up to the task, to be honest. But in all the years he knew Kineta, this was the first time she told him she couldn't do something.
Kineta buried her face into his chest. "I'm so sorry, Sean."
"This isn't your fault," he insisted though his sobs made it as though he lacked confidence. "It's not your fault," he repeated more firmly.
There were no more words that night. They held each other and wept until morning.