Author's Note:

Norikuu's idea again! Damn smart, that woman. 8D Don't blame her for the lameness I came up with though. LOL I wrote cheesy unrealistic high school shit! Who'd have guessed? XD

Hit the Showers

For three years, Roxas' one and only sport had been track, and he liked it. He had resisted it at first, but his father had gotten very serious for some reason and insisted that his son join a team. He'd have preferred football or basketball, but…well, Roxas clearly didn't have the physical attributes for either. Track had placated him a bit – anyway, his son was doing something physical and competitive.

Roxas' father may have been worrying about his son's sexuality even before the young blond himself.

It had taken Roxas a while – he was pretty naïve and clueless about these things – but eventually it had been track itself that had forced the awareness onto him. It was all because of the damned locker room.

It had started simple – blue eyes getting glued to wet, dripping backs in the showers. Roxas had shrugged that off, thinking about health class and vaguely chalking it up to adolescent hormones and the sight of wet skin.

His shyness around the other naked boys was easy enough to explain away too – he didn't have siblings that he'd grown up with, so naturally anyone would be embarrassed seeing naked people for the first time. He didn't allow himself to think about the fact that the embarrassment didn't wear off after a while, when it probably should have.

His first wet dreams had been vague, and Roxas remembered little from them aside from a tantalizing pressure and heat in his groin.

And then…Axel happened.

Roxas had always looked up to his teammate, especially now that Axel was captain of the track team. But Roxas, being a year younger, had not had a lot of interaction with the other boy. That had changed this year.

Maybe it was because Roxas was on a relay team with the tall redhead…maybe it was because Axel was a captain now and was trying to encourage the other runners more. Roxas didn't know why, but he'd had a few conversations with the team captain already this year, and somewhere between Axel's easy, friendly smile and beautiful laugh and the vague wet dreams at night and the god damned locker room…he'd developed a crush.

The realization had been mortifying, and had happened in the worst possible way. Stark naked in the showers after practice, Roxas had been suddenly forced to understand something about himself. And that something was apparently that he was different from the other boys in that he looked at the tall redhead washing himself and got a sudden erection…while none of the others seemed to have that problem.

Roxas grabbed his towel and bolted.

The wet dreams became suddenly clear that night. Red hair, big hands, a sweat-covered chest, a low voice, and stroking, squeezing, touching that made him tense and gasp and come, come, come…and then wake up to fried brains for breakfast. Fried brains which were useless for figuring out what the hell he was going to do, but which were suddenly and belatedly very good at recognizing all the signs and turning out the answer Roxas had never considered before.

Gay.

After that, his once-fun track practice became a living hell. Even out on the field there were sweating, naked chests and panting, gasping young men everywhere, and Axel. Axel in the form of a spot of red forever on the edge of his peripheral vision. Axel laughing and calling to people and slapping Roxas on the back. And that was just out in the field.

The locker room was like a war zone, and Roxas was a covert ops agent trying to get in, get changed and showered, and get out again without seeing too many naked teammates and especially without being in the showers while Axel was. Unfortunately, he was being forced to choose between succeeding in his mission and looking normal…because he could not pull such a feat off without a fair amount of slinking around and staring at the ground.

Soon there was only one thing to do – quit track. He couldn't handle the locker room. His father would surely have a fit, but Roxas would just have to deal with that later. Right now, he had to deal with the imminent threat of exposure as a homosexual to the whole school, and Roxas wasn't ready to be – oh god – Out.

And so, after practice, as the team was jogging back to the dreaded locker room, Roxas casually crept up near Axel. When the redheaded captain finished his brief exchange with another runner, Roxas cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Ah, Axel?" They were about to go inside, and as the captain looked at him questioningly, Roxas held back. Axel waved to some teammates.

"Yeah, Rox? What's up?" Seeing that Roxas still didn't follow, he strolled over to the little blond as the rest of the team disappeared.

"Can…can I talk to you?"

"Sure thing pal, what about?"

"Uh…well…" Roxas fidgeted with his shirt hem. "It's about…the team."

Axel smiled reassuringly. "Look, if it's the relay, you're doing fine, kiddo! You've improved a lot and…" Axel continued to talk track stuff as he subtly turned and steered Roxas with him into the building. Roxas wanted to interrupt, but the taller boy never gave him much of a chance, taking all his attempts at correcting Axel's mistake as disagreements.

"…And at the rate you're going, you'll be absolute tops by the meet, seriously." Axel led them into the locker room – fortunately almost free of boys by now, as they were in the showers – and turned to smile reassuringly. "Trust me, I know what I'm saying. You've got talent, pal."

Roxas cracked an uncertain grin. "Uh… thanks…but um, that wasn't what I wanted to say…"

Red eyebrows raised gently, the smile still hovering. "No? Well go on, I'll listen. Sorry for rambling and – hey come on, let's get changed, we're behind – and like, not listening to you and all." Axel laughed and walked over to his locker.

Roxas swallowed hard and trailed behind him, his heart pounding from Axel's laugh.

As he reached the other boy again, he was hit in the face with a sweaty t-shirt. Stripped fresh from Axel's likewise-sweaty torso. The redhead was laughing.

"Hey come on, don't zone out there, snap out of it and tell me what's on your mind."

Roxas felt a shiver race over his skin. Axel scent. Axel's scent. Yeah, it was gross and kinda like B.O., but it was also kinda like Axel's deodorant and…and just Axel. His stomach tightened and he looked down nervously as the gorgeous redhead pulled his shorts down. Axel's scent and Axel's body and Oh god please not now! Please not in front of him right now! Calm…stay calm…

"Um, well…"

"Hey, you getting changed or what?"

Roxas swallowed and nodded, slowly moving to drag his own shirt off. "Well…I…I wanted to tell you…I'm quitting track."

"What?" Axel looked full at him, startled. Not angry or anything just…wide-eyed and confused and…in his boxers. And those were about to disappear too…

Roxas very firmly looked away. "Y-yeah…I'm really sorry about the relay and everything…"

"Wait wait wait," Axel interrupted, entering Roxas' vision again, fortunately wrapped in a towel. "I mean, why? Is there some problem…?" At that moment, the first swarms of boys emerged from the showers, bringing their noise and steam and bare skin with them. Roxas glanced up involuntarily, then reddened and ducked again. Axel, glancing around, got the idea that there was a problem with someone in the room. In a steady, reassuring voice, he changed his direction.

"Come on, get your towel, we're behind the others and I need a shower. You can tell me about it there."

Through the overwhelming sense of doom, Roxas vaguely wondered if he could get a shower angled away from Axel somehow.

When he reached the showers – only a few guys were left – Axel was waving him over to a shower head right next to his on the wall. Roxas' stomach didn't even get a chance to make it all the way into his shoes before the redhead had his towel off and the water on.

At Axel's insistence…he could only follow along. His hand shook as he hung his towel up, and he felt like he was trying to shrink into himself and stare a hole through the blue tiled floor at the same time. Being naked and next to a naked Axel…was hell on earth.

The voice that spoke was low and made Roxas shudder. "So come on, what's all this about quitting? Is it someone on the team?" Axel glanced back at the few guys who were finishing up. "I can help you take care of it if it is…"

Roxas could only shake his head, eyes shut. The irregular pattern of splashing as Axel washed himself steadied as the older boy stopped his motions to tilt his head questioningly at Roxas, who was just standing under a stream of water.

"Hey Roxas…hey." Axel frowned at the still-closed eyes, and Roxas' muscles twitched with the need to run, escape, just flee. "Hey, look at me will ya? Or like, open your eyes, pal…" Axel poked his shoulder and Roxas' eyes popped open. "There we go. Now come on…talk to me." And Axel slowly started washing himself off again, keeping one eye on Roxas.

He realized the impulse was happening too late to stop it – his eyes had already glanced over to Axel. Once there…Roxas was helpless.

Tall, muscled and lean, naked and wet and close. Close. Hypnotized blue just stared. Head to toe, he was amazing. Desirable. Mind-blowingly…hot.

And with simple, efficient motions that Roxas himself had probably done a million times, Axel chose that moment to take hold of his nether regions and swish some cleaning soap and water over the one spot Roxas really didn't need to look at.

A second later, green eyes glanced back over at the unmoving little blond again…and shot suddenly wide and down.

"Uh…" Roxas watched Axel's Adam's apple bob once. "Um, Roxas?"

He was hard.

A frantic snatch for his towel was way, way too late. Axel had gotten a clear view of Roxas' raging erection, and was still staring at him in shock. He was just turning to flee…but the last three guys were on the way out, and Roxas froze, seeing them near the door. They were in the way, they would see…and as he hesitated, a big hand grabbed his arm.

"Hey wait!" Then Axel seemed to think again. "I mean…uh, you probably wanna take care of that so I'll beat it, gimme two seconds…"

Humiliation now chose to give Roxas his voice back. "This is why. Why I'm quitting. Because. Because…"

Axel had stopped and was watching Roxas' face. "What's why you're quitting? I mean…why are you quitting? We need you and…"

"Because I'm gay!" Roxas' voice choked out in a whisper that Axel heard just fine. "Because…because I can't do this anymore…and please don't tell anyone, please…" Blue eyes were wide and begging up at Axel suddenly. The redhead's gorgeous face was alarmed, but quickly changing to concern and sympathy in the face of the red-faced, begging, almost-crying blond.

"Hey, look…it's OK, I'm not telling anyone. And come on, you…you don't have to quit because of that…" Axel cleared his throat and sounded more jovial. "We can take care of something like that, no problem! I mean, if showers and shit are a problem, I can make it so you can get in here after everyone else is done…like right now, see, no one noticed us being late, so we can work it like this…"

"That won't help." Roxas cut him off.

"Sure it will, come on, why not?" Axel lightly slapped his shoulder. The tears made another jump for freedom but didn't quite make it.

"Because…you…"

Axel grinned. "I'm OK, don't worry, I can protect you, it's worth it to keep you on the team…"

"Because I like you!"

Axel's face froze in an uncertain smile. "Uh…what?"

"I like you…I have a crush on you…I'm l-like this because…because it's you." The tears slipped free, choking off Roxas' voice as they went.

"Huh." Axel leaned back against the blue tiled wall.

For several minutes, Roxas just stood there, battling for control, desperate to keep the floodgates closed…because if he let go for even a second, even one sob, he was going to be bawling like a three-year-old. And he could not do that. Axel just leaned back and stared at him, blinking. The showers streamed down in an echoing, steady patter, and steam rose. Except for that, there was silence.

Axel was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat. "So…you like me." Roxas only nodded, tense. "You got a…" Axel stopped in mid-thought, struck by a new realization. An instant later, his hand shot out for his towel, holding it in front of himself as he started again. "You got…hard…looking at me." Roxas didn't even nod this time, only curled downward, into himself. There was another pause, before Axel spoke again, musing to himself, with a slight smile audible in his voice. "I must be hotter than I thought…"

Peeled-open blue eyes stared at him. To Roxas' amazement, Axel let out a sudden laugh, and the next moment, his wet hair was being tousled by a big hand.

"Kidding, I'm kidding, geez! I'm not a conceited prick, really!" Roxas wasn't sure whether to laugh or…or what. He half-grinned weakly, feeling his face heat up even more. But most of all his stomach was fluttering, nervous and hopeful, because in spite of what he'd just said, Axel had…just touched him.

"S-So…you don't mind? You aren't disgusted by me?" Roxas' voice had an embarrassing squeaky quality to it.

Axel shrugged, his laugh a little awkward. "Well, I never really thought about, uh, liking guys or anything, so maybe I should be more shocked…I dunno. But uh, no, I guess it doesn't really bother me so much. Dunno why." He scratched nervously at the side of his neck and grinned a little helplessly at Roxas.

"O-Oh." The blond wasn't sure what else to say now. And Axel was still standing there, holding the towel in front of himself, but still so, so attractive…

"Well, fuck, this is pretty awkward, huh?" Axel half-laughed again nervously. "Do you, uh, want me to go so you can…" He vaguely gestured toward where Roxas was clutching his own towel at his waist. "Or…" There was a strange, unreadable intensity suddenly flickering in those green eyes. Like…curiosity. Like…interest?

"Since you like me…do you wanna look at me?"

"What?" It was only a breathless gasp. Roxas had lost his voice at that.

Green eyes watched him, bright. "You know…" Axel's voice was lower all of a sudden, kind of soft and cautious. "Like this…" And slowly, the redhead removed the towel he held and stretched out an arm to hang it back up.

Eyes wide, Roxas' hands flew to his mouth to stifle a gasp as he stared at Axel's body…and unwittingly dropped the towel he'd been holding. Red eyebrows shot upward as Roxas' hands flew down again, covering himself and flushing so hard he thought his hair might spontaneously combust. Axel gave a low, impressed whistle.

"Wow, you're really…uh, I mean, you must like me a lot." He didn't sound arrogant about it either, just…surprised. Roxas could only nod. "So…are you gonna do it?"

"I…I…" the smaller boy was struggling helplessly, confusion filling his blue eyes. Axel, in spite of his curiosity, could see how uncomfortable Roxas was.

"How about this?" He suddenly offered. "I'm just gonna…finish showering, OK? And I won't look at you. OK?" Then, without waiting for Roxas to agree, he turned back to the shower head and resumed washing.

Blinking uncertainly at this turn of events, Roxas didn't say anything. He just…watched. He really couldn't help it. Axel was right in front of him, exposed and wet and beautiful, and Roxas' heart was racing. The redhead seemed to have decided to wash his hair now, which he didn't always do, and Roxas could only stare, fascinated, as those hands scrubbed and combed through the long red hair, stretching up and leaving his entire body open to view.

His erection throbbed, and the hands covering himself suddenly became hands…touching himself. The contact was now a slight pressure, and without thinking, Roxas automatically pressed more pressure against his aching need.

Before he knew it, he was stroking himself slowly, eyes glued to big hands that slid down a firm body.

And then a slight whimper escaped his lips as Axels hands moved dangerously low, and green eyes glanced sideways in spite of the redhead's promise.

"Woah," Axel breathed, suddenly forgetting entirely that he wasn't supposed to look at Roxas and stepping a little closer. Roxas looked up at him, startled, but Axel didn't stop. He swallowed heavily. "Hey…can I touch you?" His hand was already extending toward Roxas, and before the blond could stammer out a "why" or "no," he felt a light touch of brushing fingertips over his hot length.

Roxas more or less melted.

"Damn," Axel muttered under his breath, staring at Roxas' face as he slowly moved his hand. "I've never touched another…uh, guy…before…" He trailed off as a moan slipped from the smaller blond in response to Axel's touches. The redhead flushed and looked a bit startled. "Hey…hey what the hell? Are you doing that on purpose?"

Roxas blinked. "Huh?" was the gasped response.

"That look…" Axel insisted. "That face you're making…are you playing it up or something? It's way too sexy."

"N-No," Roxas gasped, "I'm not…"

Axel didn't seem to be listening. "Shit…I don't think guys are allowed to be this hot, Rox…" Nevertheless, the hand on Roxas' arousal applied more pressure as Axel spoke.

"Sor-ahh! Sorry…"

The blond couldn't think anymore. He could barely breathe. Axel was touching him, stroking him, looking at him…and then all of a sudden there was an arm winding around him, pulling him closer, and a low voice muttering, "Fuck it."

And then the hand left him, only to suddenly touch under Roxas chin, lifting his red face and lust-fogged eyes to Axel's intense gaze.

Axel's lips were warm and wet and soft and meshed with his own so almost-perfectly, but just a little bit awkwardly, uncertain. And when Axel moved them, neither he nor Roxas seemed to be sure what they were doing…but both seemed to agree on getting their mouths open and making the sloppy, clumsy kiss a lot deeper, skill be damned.

"Sorry about that…" Axel panted when they parted, but he didn't seem too worried, because he didn't let go of Roxas. "I mean…sorry for doing that without…asking or anything. S-Sorry for this, too…" And Roxas blinked at him, uncomprehending as Axel reddened and looked down, embarrassed.

Blue eyes followed, only to widen at the sight. Axel was hard too. Roxas had been aroused enough at the sight of Axel's body under ordinary circumstances…and now he was suddenly seeing Axel very, very aroused. The blond started shaking so hard he was afraid he might fall.

In response, Axel's arm tightened around his thin frame, drawing Roxas closer and pressing their erections together. At that, Roxas whimpered aloud, hands clutching at strong arms for support. Heavy breathing in his ear almost distracted him from the hand wandering down his body again.

"Hey," Axel murmured, "Let's start over, huh? Let's…do it together." He paused, and when Roxas didn't answer, prodded again, not continuing until he had permission this time. "Please?"

"OK…" The answer was soft and weak and nervous, but Roxas could hardly give any other reply to such an offer. He wanted it…he wanted Axel, and even though he was mortified and scared shitless, instinct and lust were stronger, drawing him, forcing him closer.

Axel touched him, and Roxas tensed. "Here…" the redhead mumbled, guiding his hand, "Touch me too…" And then Roxas felt hot, firm flesh under his fingertips.

Axel led, setting the pace, stroking Roxas slowly at first. Pleasure coursed through his body, and Roxas couldn't help mimicking the taller boy's actions, squeezing gently and stroking the hot length he held. Then Axel was moving faster, and Roxas was compelled to as well, unable to think about anything else but the pleasure, the touch, and Axel, Axel, Axel…not able to spare the slightest thought for quieting his voice.

It didn't take very long. Neither boy was very experienced, and Roxas in particular had been at the end of his frail endurance for days. He came first, into Axel's hand, crying out and not seeing how green eyes bugged wide as Axel watched him, coming himself a few moments later. And even with the humming of orgasm running through him, Roxas felt the spasms and the hot liquid in his hands, and that, even more than his own climax, was probably what made him black out for a second.

When he opened his eyes, Axel was awkwardly trying to settle them both on a bench in the locker room. The room was empty and that was good, because they were both still naked. Axel had had enough trouble catching Roxas and holding the slick, wet body – grabbing a towel had been too much to handle.

Awake again, Roxas tried to move, mumbling that he was OK. Axel helped him sit up, and soon they were side-by-side on the wooden bench…silent and not looking at each other.

In a shell-shocked tone, Axel finally said something to break the horrible silence.

"I got off with a dude." He didn't even sound happy or disgusted…just…amazed.

Roxas couldn't help it. The weakness in his body, the strain on his mind – whatever it was, it snapped him. He started giggling softly.

Slowly, the redhead turned to look at him. Then, a little quicker, a grin broke over his handsome face. Before they knew it, they were chuckling together, wiping tears from eyes and laughing and laughing, and Axel was wobbling to the towel cart and grabbing spares for them both.

They managed to calm down after wrapping the towels around themselves, and Axel spoke first again. "Well shit, I guess if that doesn't make me gay too, it's gotta mean something. At the very least, I guess I'm not as straight as I thought." Then he paused, look at Roxas with a confused smile. "Or maybe it's…just you."

Roxas hiccuped a few times from laughing, but breathed deeply to calm himself. When he was relaxed again, he spoke more evenly than he had all day. "Can I…say it again?"

"Only if 'it' doesn't refer to that 'I'm quitting track' bullshit."

Roxas smiled, shaking his head, but then hesitated. "Well," he began. "See…the thing is, I'm gay, and I…I don't want to tell anyone yet, so it's hard. But…but I think I can deal with it now…that is, if…"

Axel hummed questioningly, smiling at him. Roxas took another deep breath.

"I…like you, Axel. I like you a lot. I'd like to…to date you."

Grinning and throwing his hands up, the redhead gave in. "Why not?" He laughed. "I'll be your secret boyfriend…but you have to stay in track. Deal?"

Roxas felt light-headed and insanely happy. This was entirely too good to be true.

"Deal."

~o~

Continued in chapter 132, "Dirty Little Secret"