Breaking Niff
It was just after 10am in Bushwick when Santana's phone rang. She was up, and sitting at the kitchen table with Sam, Puck and Quinn, having just finished breakfast. Rachel had headed out to do some shopping; Brittany was still sleeping, and had looked so peaceful that Santana couldn't bring herself to wake her up. She picked up her phone, only half paying attention to it as she listened to the story that Puck was telling. It was only as she was about to accept the call that she saw the words 'Warbler in Chief' on the phone. She started at that - knowing what she did, it could not possibly be him.
"Santana, are you ok?" said Quinn, who had noticed the expression on her face.
"It's Wes…" she said, trying to sound casual and unperturbed, but all too aware that as she had said those words, Sam's face had fallen. She accepted the call, and answered with "Hey, Montgomery…"
It was of course a woman that spoke - his mother on her second and final call. Her words the same, if not shorter. The same statement about cards and flowers, then the words "Don't call this phone again - I am throwing the sim card away," and then she hung up. All in all, it appeared to Santana that Mrs Montgomery was a rather unpleasant person.
She looked up at the people around the table. Sam was trying and failing to look as if he knew nothing. Quinn had a look on her face that she had seen so many times before - a mixture of concern and curiosity. As for Puck, well she knew exactly what he was going to do next….
"Ok, so that was short, sweet and totally silent on your part. Which is not like you at all. What have you done to Wes?"
Sam looked at him, wanting to shout at him, but he kept silent and let Santana speak. "It wasn't Wes… It was his phone, but not him…"
"That makes no sense at all," said Quinn.
"Remember the attack of the screaming Warblers yesterday morning? It wasn't just five of them - it was a dozen of them, all at the same time. It was like Sam and the milk…"
Quinn continued to regard Santana with a raised eyebrow, but Puck got it, and went as white as a sheet. "Oh, my God. You mean…" Santana clicked on her tablet, which was still sitting on the table, where she had left it the night before. It was still open at the relevant page, and so she turned it round to face Puck and Quinn. "Holy hell….so that call…"
"Was his mother - I was the last person to text him, it turns out, so she called to let me know, and to ask me to tell his friends as she was far too busy to do so. Oh, and she casually mentioned that his funeral finished ten minutes ago…"
"It what!?" exploded Puck, the corners of his eyes a little moist. Quinn was crying silently by now, and Sam had placed an arm around her. "Ok, so I am wondering now how the two of you worked this out; even thought he might be dead."
"Brittany," said Sam. "She had a dream about birds; one died and all of the others started to screech in pain…"
"And I put two and two together and got four," said Santana. "The only Warbler that was missing in action, had not made contact last night, was Wes. The rest of them had screeched out as one… I wish that I had been wrong. He was such a good guy…" Santana broke off as she started to cry again.
"One of the best," said Puck, wiping at his own eyes, and staring past Quinn and Sam, the former with her head now buried in Sam's chest. "I hate to say this, but I think I am getting used to death. Finn killed me; Kurt broke my heart; Blaine was a tragedy. Now, all I can think is - who is next? Wes dying - it hurts, but maybe because we weren't as close, it isn't quite as bad…"
"It is going to break their hearts though - every one of the Warblers," said Sam. "Nick, Jeff, Trent - all of them. He was their friend, their big brother. He was the guy that they all ran to when life threw them a curveball."
"And then there is Thad," said Santana. "Wes finally got his act together and kissed him on the night of the wedding. He was so happy on the way to the airport, and now… All I know is, he and David are going to be devastated."
At that point, they all felt a familiar draught, and Kurt appeared in the room, a grim expression on his face.
"Is he with you?" said Sam. "Is he ok?"
"He's in pain because he is growing his wings, but apart from that, he's as ok as you would expect. He is worrying himself sick about his boys though." Kurt turned to Santana and spoke again. "You need to go and see Niff. It has to be you that tells them because David and Thad - well it isn't pretty in L.A. Sam, I need you to go and tell Sebastian face to face. He can't hear this over the phone. It is going to be bad for them all…"
So it was that Sam put on his jacket and headed in the direction of Murray Hill, making a quick call to Cooper first to let him know he was coming, and that he needed to speak to him. He had decided that he could do with some company for the task he had to undertake, and would welcome his own 'big brother' being at his side. He could also ask him to ensure that Sebastian did not go out and vanish into the maelstrom that was New York on a Monday morning.
Quinn stayed in the loft, and made a first phone call to Rachel, asking her to head home. She then called Artie, and told him she needed to see him as a matter of urgency, knowing he would head over at once. Finally, she called Kitty, still settling in to her new home in the city with Marley - she was busy and tried to beg off coming, but Quinn pleaded with her, and she agreed in the end, also agreeing to bring Marley and indeed Ryder with her, if she could find him. She would wait until they were all there, then break the news to them altogether. Then, she realised who else she should call, and she began to dial a familiar number in Lima; found herself asking to speak to Mr Schue. She didn't need to do any of the things she had set out to do, but she found that if she kept herself busy, then it stopped her thinking about what had happened. Because being hit by a massive truck, travelling at speed - that was something that was too horrific for her to even contemplate.
In the meantime, after quickly splashing their faces with cold water, Santana and Puck had crossed the landing to go and knock on the door of the other loft. The door was opened by Mike, who greeted them warmly, and informed them that he and Tina were just about to head out, once she was finally ready. Puck took him to one side, and into the kitchen. Santana stood in silence, just listening - then heard a gasp and a strangled "No!". Looking in through the kitchen door, she saw Puck facing her, holding Mike to his chest, the latter's shoulders shaking as he cried quietly. She had forgotten that this news would be hard on Mike too - he had known Wes from the Asian summer camps they had both attended since they had both been in middle school. She hoped that Tina would still be a while getting ready, as she could potentially be ten times worse than Mike in her reaction, despite knowing Wes less well. Then again, she would still be so much better than….
"Hey Satan," said Nick, suddenly appearing from the direction of the living room. "Why are you skulking in the hallway of my marital home? And where did you and Sam vanish to last night? Don't think that we didn't notice your sudden disappearance just before we started opening the wedding gifts. By the way, thanks for the warning label on your box - we like them, even though they made Jeff go bright red, and you made sure to get latex free, so thanks. Ok, so now you are saying nothing, and that is scaring me…"
"Sorry Nick, I was miles away. Sam and I had something that we needed to deal with last night, and it took longer than we thought… Look, I need to talk to you and Jeff about something important, and it really can't wait. So, could you fetch your husband and meet me in the living room ASAP - I'd be really grateful…" Nick raised his eyebrows, but knew better than to disobey the wishes of Santana, so headed off to get Jeff from the bedroom. She made her way into the living room, and sat in the armchair. She remembered this room so well from the time she had lived here, and could recall the day that Sue Sylvester had walked around that corner when they had expected Blaine… She could hear Nick and Jeff laughing happily, the honeymoon period well and truly under way. She felt terrible that she was about to shatter that contentment with a few words. But she had no option. It had to be done.
Presently, the two newlyweds were sat in front of her on the couch. Jeff's face was full of a smile that showed his delight, his hand holding Nick's lightly. Their wedding rings were catching the sunlight that was coming in the windows as the clouds broke, and they looked the very image of happiness, as if they were on a Hallmark card. She was slightly curious as to what Jeff had meant when he whispered to Nick "She hasn't found out, has she?" but she let it pass. It was now, or never.
"Guys, I'm sorry to come over and disturb you this morning, but there is something that I need to tell you. It isn't easy for me to say this, and you have no idea how much I wish that I didn't have to…"
"What is it Santana? What's happened?" said Nick, and she noticed that Jeff's grip on his hand had got tighter.
She took a deep breath, and said "There was an accident yesterday morning…in Harvard. I'm sorry, but it was Wes…and he didn't make it…"
As she looked across at the two young men, she saw that they had frozen. They didn't even appear to be breathing. Then Nick started to laugh. Santana had heard of hysterical reactions, but this was new territory for her. "Nice one, Santana. The thing is, if Wes had died yesterday, we would have been told by someone long before now. We would know…"
"Yesterday morning at 8.47am, the vast majority of the Warblers, including the two of you, screamed. I spoke to Jeff, and he thought that it was a dream, but I can assure you that it wasn't. I saw David do it in the middle of the concourse at JFK. Mike and Tina witnessed Beats and Flint do it in this very loft. Sam saw Thad. Puck saw Trent. Grace heard Sebastian. That took place at the exact moment that Wes died. It wasn't a dream…"
"It was a nightmare," said Jeff, in a barely audible voice. "Did you dream it too, Nicky?" He turned to face his husband, who was now no longer in denial.
"Why has it taken us so long to find out? I mean, why did no-one think to tell us?"
"His mother decided to hold the information back until after the funeral. She didn't want anyone but family there."
"They've had the funeral…that's wrong. Wes would hate that…he'd have hated that," said Jeff, his first tears starting to fall.
As for Nick, his head was bowed, his chest heaving as his breaths came harder. "He's gone. He's really gone… What do we do now? Where do we go for help, for advice, for comfort? He can't be gone, he just…." Tears were now pouring down Nick's face, his sobs building. Then suddenly he screamed out "WES! WESSIE! We need you. Please come back. Please, please come back, we need you…" before he broke down in even more gulping sobs, falling into the safety of Jeff's arms.
Santana could only watch helplessly as Nick fell apart. She saw Jeff holding himself together, whispering words of comfort in his husband's ear as he tried to soothe him. All that she could hear above the sound of tears was a whine of "Come back" - the one thing that Wes could not possibly do for them. Mike suddenly appeared from the kitchen, his own face red and blotchy, discarding his coat and letting it fall on the floor as he went. Santana suddenly became aware that Tina was crying in the kitchen, and she had no idea how long she had been doing it for. Mike sat on the opposite side of Nick from Jeff, and wrapped his arms around both boys. It did not look as if Nick was even aware that he had arrived at first, but gradually his sobs were getting quieter.
Once they had nearly gone, Jeff spoke. "He can't come back, Nicky, no matter how much I am sure he would like to. We haven't lost him though, not really - he has just changed his form. He will be an angel now, like Blaine and Kurt and Finn. He will be with them, and they will be looking after him. We will see him again; as soon as he can make it, if I know Wes. I wonder what his wings will look like? It is going to be so hard to know that he has left us here on earth, and he will never be able to give us one of his special hugs again until we die. But we will still see him…"
Nick had stopped sobbing now, and he looked up, his misery etched on his face, straight into his husband's eyes. "We will, won't we… it won't be the same though. It just isn't fair. He was so happy, happier than he had ever been… Oh my God, Thad! Poor Thaddie…" Nick's tears came again, and Jeff joined him, but he stayed so calm and collected.
"At least he got a kiss before he died," said Santana. Jeff looked at her, blinking back his tears, and nodded.
"I don't know if that will make it better or worse for him," said Mike. "It might just break him," he added so quietly that he was a bit uncertain if anyone else in the room had actually heard him.
Suddenly, Nick took a big sniff, and rallied. "Wes wouldn't want us to be so upset. He would want us to grieve, then pick ourselves back up and carry on. He would say that we shouldn't let his going spoil our happiness. He would…" He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, and tried to smile.
Jeff looked at him, and allowed himself the same small smile. "Feeling better now, Nicky?"
"Yes Jeffie. I am so sad, but Wes wouldn't want us to cry for hours on end. He would hate that."
"That's true…but if you are finished falling apart, please can I have my turn?" Nick nodded, and Jeff buried his face in his husband's shoulder and sobbed his heart out. Nick put his arm around him, and looked up at Mike, sitting beside him, tears still rolling down his cheeks. With his other arm he pulled Mike into a hug too. After all, the three of them had one thing in common that day - a shared grief for the loss of a very good friend.