Hi! This is my first update on my original schedule in a while. Wrote it during a break while studying for finals. You could say that it's to celebrate the two hundredth review (thank you, trappedinmyself1!).
Enjoy!
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It didn't take much more alcohol before America stopped muttering inanely and started shouting (or worse, singing) inanely.
"99 bottles of beer on the wall! 99 bottles of beer!"
"Okay, you've had enough," England decided, pulling the bottle out of his hand.
"Duude! Why?" America whined, grabbing for the missing article.
"Because you are horribly tone deaf. I cannot stand hearing my voice abused like that."
"Am not!" America protested. He turned his attention to the rest of the bar. "You! I sing fine, s'that a right?"
He broke out into a chorus of God Bless America. England plugged his ears, as did a few random bar patrons.
"I am regretting this already," England informed him. America either didn't hear or ignored him.
"…Laaaand that I luuuv, stand beeside hurrr, and guide hur, Thru the nigh—Wait, that song calls me a girl!" America indignantly interrupted himself.
England was just happy to hear him stop abusing his vocal cords. "Yes. You couldn't have picked a worse one."
"Reeaaally," America grinned lopsidedly.
Oh no.
"It's Fri-day, Fri-day, Fri-day…"
"It's not even Friday, you moron," England groaned, giving in to the urge to bang his head against the bar table. There is no way I'm THIS annoying when I'm drunk.
"C'mon, sing it with me!" America laughed, slapping England on the back.
"That's not happening," England deadpanned.
"Laaaame, dude. Twin guy. Kan..sus? Whatever."
"…Wait, what did you just call me?" England asked.
He was a bit late. America had already jumped up and strutted to the center of the bar.
"YO PEOPLES! Who here's gonna be less lame than that dude? You pick the song!" He even winked at a girl who was starting to look a bit interested.
"I am not lame!" England protested. "I can sing better than you do!"
"Prove it," America challenged, flashing one of those megawatt grins that it still freaked England out to see on his face.
England hesitated. There was a bar full of people watching him.
"Kneew it," America practically sang. "SO! Who here's takin' the challen-"
"Shut up," England growled.
"Naaah," America grinned back. "I don' wanna." He grabbed the microphone off a karaoke machine that someone had rolled out (England silently cursed whoever that was to injury, disease, and other assorted unpleasantries.).
America started singing (technically. England thought it would more accurately be termed 'screeching') into the wrong end of the microphone. To a heavy metal song that England couldn't believe was actually on the machine.
A little bit later, after the alcohol had had a bit more time to get into his system, England decided that America's misuse of his voice was too much to take and forgot the crowd.
"You tone-deaf idiot," he hissed, standing up and ripping the microphone out of America's hands, "I'll show you how… to sing." He paused there, as his slightly alcohol fuzzed-brain reminded him that there was something dangerous about that 'sing' thing.
"Hey! Don't grab the mike if you're not gonna (hic) sing!"
"I see you don't pay any more attention to me when you're drunk," England deadpanned, a bit of real bitterness sneaking into his sarcastic tone.
"Gimme," America demanded, reaching for the microphone. England held it up as high as he could, watching with growing amusement as America struggled to bridge the height difference, standing on his toes and flailing for the device.
Equally suddenly, he sat down on the floor.
"When did you get taller than me?" America wasn't looking at England, or, really, at anything but the wall, and it came out more as a question to himself than to England, who decided to set the karaoke machine to something decent.
"I mean, I totally …told you something. Yah. But you didn't… YES! SHOES!"
America was getting quite a few weird looks by that point.
England ignored him and scanned the song selection. C'mon, they have to have SOMETHING by the Beatles…
America put a hand around one of England's shoes and gave it a scrutinizing look.
"Sneakers!" He proudly pronounced. England kicked him off.
…Well, something by the Beatles that isn't BLATANTLY a love song…that could be awkward later…
"Ooow…That was loooow, Canny. Candy. Really looow."
"You're pretty low. Now shut up."
"Exactly! …Wait."
Ah ha. Found one.
"What're—"
England sang.
"You tell me that you've got everything you want/And your bird can sing/But you don't get me, you don't get me…"
He stumbled a bit. Having a different voice did tend to cause that sort of thing.
"You say you've seen seven wonders and your bird is green/But you can't see me, you can't see me…"
"Well duh—"
"When your prized possessions start to wear you down/Look in my direction, I'll be round, I'll be round…"
He had started to get over the stumbles.
"When your bird is broken will it bring you down/You may be awoken, I'll be round, I'll be round…"
By this point, most of the bar was quiet, even America, because unlike America, England actually did know something about singing, and was pretty darn good at it.
"You tell me that you've heard every sound there is/And your bird can sing/But you can't hear me, you can't hear me."
…not that many nations knew that, because it was generally something he did not do in public.
Except he just had, and everyone was staring at him.
Oh. …Bloody hell.
Several people started applauding.
England knew his face was lighting up red.
OHGOD IAM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS
Some girl started walking toward him.
"I HAVE TO GO TO THE RESTROOM!" he screeched, racing for the named location.
He slammed the door behind him.
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America shrugged. Twin = gone. =…FUN!
"SoooO!" he drunkenly proclaimed, grinning. "Who's up next?"
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A/N:
Given that it's clearly somewhat new to England to be only somewhat drunk (as opposed to totally out of it and acting like a massive punk), this sort of thing was almost bound to happen. And yes, those are lyrics from an actual Beatles song. It's called "And your bird can sing." Feel free to attach any significance you desire to the lyrics.
England has sung before in the anime (campfire song, that one lullaby for America), and I figured the Beatles had to come from somewhere. That's why I assumed he could sing. Well, because of that plus the art on his character CD.
Lots of songs refer to nations as female. I'd like to plug Car's hilarious one-shot "Stand Beside Her and Guide Her," which deals with America's attempts to get the 'she' taken out of God Bless America. Car's on my favorite author list; you might have to scroll down a ways to get to that story, though, it's a fairly old one of hers.
Also, it bothers me a little when people consistently have Hetalia characters refer to Canada as Canadia in their fics, for a couple of reasons. For one, I've never heard of that misspelling outside of Hetalia fanfic (although it apparently was used in episode 44 of the dub—thanks, Sora Resi—though that still doesn't mean it was used in real life, and it only happened once), so it seems like the author used it just because they didn't want someone to refer to Canada correctly, but didn't want them to totally forget him either, and didn't bother to think about what someone might realistically come up with in that sort of scenario. The problem is that when they use it consistently (which many do), it doesn't seem like the other countries actually forgot Canada's name (after all, they remembered it perfectly except for one letter) and more like they're just being spiteful. That, and it seems a bit uncreative; I mean, I've already come up with three different ways to get it wrong, and will probably have to come up with more. That said, please don't be offended if you've used Canadia in a fic before; it does have its virtues as something of a fandom in-joke, and it's ridiculous to expect anyone to put as much thought into this as I have here (Wow, this really did get long).
All that said, I'm still trying to figure out whether I should do the full lines or the -.-.-.- things. Or if I should use a different version of the -.-.-.-.- lines, like ~!~!~!~!~!~!~ or something. Please review if you have an opinion. Or if you just like the fic.
Happy holidays, everyone!