Felassan: You have heard enough of my stories over the years, da'len. Perhaps it is time you wrote your own.

Briala: I'm not a god.

Felassan: That is for the stories to decide.

Epilogue

Tea With Tal

The tea smelled not just bitter but downright repulsive. It steamed in front of her from the pot, the little bag of herbs floating in it as it diffused into the hot water. Her stomach clenched at the thought of drinking it and her eyes stung. Miserable, she huddled deeper into the bear pelt Tal had given her.

"Are you all right?" Tal asked her softly. He sat off to her right, around the fire, running a whetstone over one of his hunting daggers. The Keeper armor he wore made him appear handsome, grown and mature in a way Rosa still wasn't accustomed to yet. Someday he would make some woman in Manaria clan—likely the Keeper herself—very happy. The thought made Rosa smile, proud of him.

When she didn't answer, Tal raised his head from his work with the dagger and arched an eyebrow at her. "Asamalin?"

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as she averted her eyes. "The smell alone is probably going to make me throw up."

"Sorry. I'd offer to help but…" He shrugged. "Nothing I can do."

She rolled her eyes. "Duh." Narrowing her gaze at him, she bit her tongue to keep herself from saying something angry about how unfair it was that men bore so little responsibility for the consequences of sex. She knew full-well that this was her fault more than Solas'. She had never turned him away, despite knowing she had no means to protect herself against conception. When the Templars took her armor away they'd also taken her contraceptive charm that nullified male seed, created by her Keeper years ago to protect against unwanted children. In taking it they'd all but sealed her fate.

She'd hoped fortune would be on her side and had waited to brew the tea, but she had no such luck. Solas had left her in the quiet of night just over a month ago and she could no longer deny the awful truth: he wasn't going to contact her and wasn't coming back. He might even be dead. She had repeated her own family history, loving a man who had abandoned her. And, just like her mother, Rosa had foolishly let her emotion and desire rule her rather than common sense. Her reckless decision had left her with a bastard child.

Now she had a very ominous decision to make.

Her heart ached at the thought of Solas and she huffed, grimacing with the emotional pain of loss. She shivered and watched the steam rising from the pot with a bitter scowl. The herbs in that foul tea would empty her womb, forcing her to bleed. She knew from watching women of her birth clan drink the tea that this would be extremely unpleasant—but far safer than actually bearing a child. Especially a child with no father.

"You don't have to do it," Tal said as he sheathed the dagger and set it aside, next to him on the river rocks.

She glared at him. "Of course I do."

Tal's brown eyes were dark, glinting in the firelight, and crinkled with empathy. "It's Revas' right?"

Rosa stared at the fire, unwilling to meet her brother's gaze. She had been sharing his aravel since arriving a month ago. Tal and much of the clan had known or guessed she slept with Solas, making this outcome not wholly unexpected, but only Tal knew her secret. The close confines of the aravel had made it impossible for her to hide it when she scrambled to rush out and vomit in the mornings the last few days. Tal had also proven how keen-eyed and unflinching he was when he had baldly asked her if she'd bled that month. His questions had been what finally drove her to brew this tea and stop denying what was so painfully obvious and true.

"Asamalin," Tal pressed her, leaning closer by resting his elbows on his knees. The fire flickered over his features, painting him orange. "It's an elfling, not some Templar-spawn. You don't have to do this."

Rosa continued staring at the fire, jaw clenched at the curdling of low-grade nausea in her stomach. Once, when one of Rosa's friends in her birth clan fell pregnant, she'd accompanied her to the healer and listened as the old woman told her friend that miserable nausea meant the baby was strong. She wondered if that was true at all or just something healers told expectant mothers to reassure them.

"The clan here can take you in," Tal said. "I can become Second and you'll be First."

Now Rosa frowned and muttered, "Don't be naïve. Keeper Nola doesn't want to demote you. She wants to see me off to another clan. When she finds out I'm carrying a flat-ear's elfling she'll be swallowing bile the whole time she feigns a smile and politely asks me to leave."

"She's not like that," Tal snapped. Scanning around the camp quickly and finding no one near enough to overhear, Tal went on, "There aren't enough elves here. They need young people our age, and fresh blood." His lips twisted up and down then, revealing he was sheepish or awkward and nervous. "And Revas or whatever his name really is wasn't a flat-ear, was he?"

Finally Rosa looked at her brother, her expression blank and impassive. She had sworn to keep Solas' secrets, but Tal had some of the same insight as she because of their father, another Elvhen man. She had promised…but Solas had promised to contact her, too. He could be dead but—no, not this soon. He was still traveling wherever he was and unless he'd stumbled into bandits or an angry bear or hungry wolves there was nothing that could kill him. He had been too surefooted in the wilds, despite the cold and ages asleep. No wild animals or bandits could creep up on him that easily. Besides, with the stealth spell he could just vanish and slip away.

Just as he had on their last night together.

Sighing, she said, "Think whatever you want about him. It doesn't matter."

"But it does," Tal persisted, stabbing his index finger at the ground as if pointing to what they discussed, as if it was something physical. "Something's bothered me about Revas for a while. You know, when lenalin contacted me a while back and I told him about our lives in the tower, he was really interested in him. It was almost like he knew him, or thought he did." Tal pinched his lips together, his gaze tense with worry. "He hasn't visited me again. I wish he would. I'd ask what he knows." He paused, eyes narrowing at her. "You should ask him."

"I can't find him," Rosa admitted, shoulders slumping. "I…I think he's dead." She swallowed, her throat aching. She didn't want to think about this new loss piled atop Solas' abandonment and the awful choice ahead of her.

"I won't believe it," Tal said with a firm shake of his head. Muscles flared in his temple and Rosa didn't miss the slight wrinkle of his chin. Tal had loved Eolas more than Rosa had, having spent years knowing him as a father. Eolas had defended Tal from Ghilath's Keeper's hatred. He had been a safe place for Tal and when he left, Tal had been devastated. She imagined her little brother sitting on their father's knee, giggling and clinging to him. Her eyes stung for Tal, wishing that he had been born with their father's gift for walking the Fade that he could have pulled Eolas to him whenever he wished.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice choking. "I know you loved him."

Tal's face fell and she saw moisture glittering orange in his eyes. "You loved him too, Rosa. Don't try to deny it."

She let out a quavering breath and swallowed hard, trying to fight back that painful lump in her throat. "I wish I could say you're wrong." She chuckled, wan and dry. "But you're right."

"You know what else I'm right about?" he asked pointedly, then stabbed a finger at the tea. "That. We're a family of bastards, asamalin. The shemlen care more than most clans do. I mean, who cares if you're not bonded? You know its blood is pure." He smirked. "Really pure."

"It'll be a mage," Rosa said, averting her eyes again. "That means I can't stay here. I can't stay anywhere that has a First or a Second."

Tal snorted. "Fuck the Templars. Go back to clan Naseral. I'll make the trip with you. Your mother will take you back with open arms."

"You can't travel with me," Rosa said, shaking her head. "You're First here. This clan needs you."

"They can spare me," Tal said with a shrug. "I owe you this. You're always trying to take care of me, let me help you."

"I can't let you do that," Rosa said, frowning even as her heart both hurt and swelled with love for her little brother. "And I can't go back to Naseral. I…" She broke off, her throat threatening to close. "I want to stay in the Free Marches. I want to be close to you. I can always reach mamae in dreams. If we've lost lenalin then it's even more important for us to hold onto each other."

Tal cocked his head, flashing an almost sad, lopsided smile. "You're trying to take care of me, as usual. Don't try to lie. You're thinking the Formless One is going to come after me for my blood, or maybe Dirthamen's ravens will. Who knows? There's a long line of them." He smirked. "But I can take care of myself and I can handle demons."

She frowned and admonished him, "Underestimating them is the first step to falling into the trap."

He rolled his eyes, though he still smiled, only mildly annoyed. "Yes, mamae."

The term made her groan, laying a hand over her abdomen under the bear pelt she held clasped around her shoulders. Her eyes stung and her stomach churned as she stared down at the tea. "I have to do this," she muttered, returning to the original topic. "I refuse to be my mother. If the man I love won't stay with me for me I'd be a fool to tie myself to him with a child."

"Your mother never stopped loving lenalin, did she?" Tal asked with a sympathetic look.

"No," Rosa said quietly. "I don't think she ever did. But she did try to keep him away from me. I think she was just bitter about it."

"You can say that again," Tal grumbled. "That was why she wouldn't take me in after he left my clan. She didn't want lenalin's other lover's child, even if you liked me."

"I want my children to know their father," Rosa said and suddenly, to her shame, she felt her eyes fill with tears. "I don't want any children of mine to grow up like we did." Her throat convulsed and she made a strangled noise. "He isn't coming back, isamalin. He promised he would find me in the dreaming and…"

Tal nodded, his brows lowered with grief for her even as his lips pinched hard with anger. "Ir abelas, asamalin. I wish there was something I could do…"

She shook her head. "No," she croaked, swiping at the tears, feeling her cheeks burning. "Don't you dare apologize. I did this to myself. You've been nothing but supportive."

"I liked Revas," Tal said, his eyes sad as he looked away into the fire. "Maybe because he did remind me of lenalin. But…" He frowned, shaking his head. "I can't shake off the feeling that maybe he'll come back. For good." Glancing back to her, he said, "I watched him in the Circle and I think he really loved you. Whatever took him away…"

"It doesn't matter," Rosa growled, clenching her jaw as she sniffed. "I can't sit here and expect he'll come back. I can't—I won't let this define the rest of my life." Shivering, she blew out a breath as she noticed the tea had ceased steaming.

Following her line of sight, Tal fidgeted. "What if tonight he's in the Fade?" he asked, challenging her. "What if you have to tell him—"

"I don't have to tell him anything," Rosa grumbled, still glaring at the tea. "This is my burden. It doesn't affect him at all." Scrubbing her face with her free hand not holding the pelt closed against the chill, Rosa sighed. "Keeper Nola said Lavellan clan to the west is in desperate need of a First. They haven't had one for over a decade. There's a child who may become Second, but they need someone like me. I could make a life with them and still visit you sometimes."

She lifted her head and smiled, despite feeling tears building in her eyes again. "But if I show up carrying some flat-ear's child and tell them I've just escaped the Hasmal Circle…"

Tal nodded, understanding. "They could refuse you." His expression was somber and grim.

"If I was their Keeper I'd doubt me too," Rosa muttered, shaking her head. "She doesn't know me. I could've been fucking a Templar and the baby won't be an elf at all. Or if she does believe me…" Her shoulders fell with defeat. "The father was a mage. I'm a mage. The clan would have too many gifted children. I'd be the outsider and so I'd probably be the one to have to give up the child." She sniffled again as more tears streaked down her cheeks. "It's the same problem here, too. Anywhere I go, the baby is the problem."

Sitting back, Tal leaned against the aravel behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Naseral will take you back, even with the baby."

"And they're halfway across the world," Rosa reminded him sharply. "And it means leaving you. You're the only family I have now. I won't leave you."

Tal motioned at her. "You're wrong. The little one is more your family than I am now."

Rosa gnashed her teeth. "Don't make this harder than it is, isamalin."

"Hey," Tal snapped, frowning. "It's my niece or nephew. I have a right to question this. It's my blood too."

"Are you going to raise it?" Rosa retorted heatedly. "Are you or your clan going to feed and provide for it?" She cut herself off, choking on the words.

Tal's brow furrowed and he looked away, his head and shoulders bowing with defeat.

Swallowing to wet her aching throat, Rosa said, "You won't have to raise it, love it, only to lose it when the Keeper declares we have to give it away because there are too many mages. I won't condemn any child of mine to a Circle."

"It might not be a mage," Tal murmured, shooting her a pleading look. "And even if it was, it'll be passed to another clan, not a Circle. Please, asamalin, just give it a chance."

"This isn't something I can give a chance," Rosa said, her voice raspy with emotion. "I can't exactly undo it if I wait too long."

"Then…" Tal shook his head in something halfway between despair and desperation. "Just give it a little time. Revas could come back. Lenalin did, didn't he? He found your mother in the dreaming, but she never told him about you until years later. If she had…"

"If she had you wouldn't have been conceived," Rosa told him with a dismissive wave of her hand. "But Revas hasn't contacted me. Not once. I've sensed him in the Fade. I've felt him. But I can't pull him to me."

Tal was silent, somber for a moment. "He's as strong as lenalin then." A weaker Dreamer wouldn't be able to resist Rosa's call, at least not for long by any method that she or Tal knew. The only sleeper who'd been able to evade Rosa was Eolas. Rosa's mother, Halesta, a weak Dreamer, wouldn't be able to resist when Rosa drew the other woman to her.

"At least," Rosa replied, ominous as she recalled the heavy press of Solas in the Fade. It'd been less than Eolas when she'd last shared a dream with him, but something about Solas had felt larger, looming and magnificent. It was as if he cast a shadow greater than himself. "Now do you see?" she asked Tal. "It'll be a mage and there's just no room…"

"And what if Lavellan clan's Keeper says to the Void with the Templars and the Chantry? What if you drink that and then march out of here for that clan and learn they'd have been happy to have four mages?" He pointed to the west, indicating Wycome where clan Lavellan was encamped a few days travel away. "Isn't their Keeper at least middle aged? How many years can she have left?"

Rosa stared at him, grimacing at the queasiness still roiling her stomach acids as she considered his words. What if Tal was right? What if she learned she could have kept the child? Or what if Solas did finally contact her or return? Despite what she'd said to Tal earlier, she knew such a secret would gnaw on her, eat away at her conscience.

She'd been reckless with passion and love, just as her mother had been, except that Halesta had made a choice to remove her contraceptive charm. Rosa's had been taken from her by force. The little seedling inside her had been unplanned but Rosa hadn't tried to caution Solas and he hadn't apparently considered this issue. Apparently, whatever the rules among the ancients, the men at least hadn't worried about unplanned pregnancy.

What would Rogathe say? She wondered and pinched the bridge of her nose, fighting through the pain that constricted her chest and the dread that made her blood run cold. She already knew the answer to that question. She could almost hear the spirit's voice inside her mind, scolding her. You are afraid, da'len. You have erred and hope to spare yourself more pain, but the brave do not take such cowardly paths. You must embrace the fear and weather it.

She thought of her mother, of her father, of Tal sitting nearby, her maternal grandparents who'd died when she was a teen, and then the grandfather she'd never met—Dirthamen. She could feel the lines of her vallaslin aching like old scars. Solas' voice echoed in her mind as he asked her how she could revere the Creators even knowing they were false gods. And she remembered her answer, particularly about Dirthamen. She had always valued devotion to family above all else. She owed it to herself to be sure before she acted or else she'd be a hypocrite, casting aside her own ideals when they were inconvenient or traumatic.

Drawing in a deep breath, Rosa reached out for the pot of tea, her fingers wrapping around the bone handle, skin dark against the pale surface. Tal watched her, brow knit and silent except for his almost audible swallow of tension. Twisting at the waist, Rosa moved the pot away from the fire and held it out over the small patch of crusty snow around the back of Tal's aravel. Her brother's lips parted with surprise as she poured out the contents onto the snow, making it hiss and sending up a cloud of steam.

Tal grinned. "What made you change your mind?"

"I haven't," she admitted, slowly returning the pot to the edge of the fire. "Not exactly, anyway. I just decided to give it some more time. I…" She shook her head, blinking as more tears flooded her eyes. "It's so new and I'm afraid, but…" She looked up at him, managing a wavering smile. "I need to be sure. I'll go to clan Lavellan and meet with their Keeper first. I'll leave the question to her, if she wants me as First."

"And if not?" Tal pressed, eyebrows arched.

"Then I'll find another clan. And if none of them will take me and the child, then I'll know I have no choice."

Tal nodded, smiling his approval and love. "It'll all work out, asamalin. I know it will."

Rosa nodded, mute and a little numb as she stared at the fire. "One way or another," she muttered. "It will."

Inquisition Preview

And then, suddenly, Solas' entire world collapsed with horror as he saw a familiar young elf running toward them. The young elf was tall and lean, with a long face that was distinctly Elvhen, reminding Solas immediately of Mythal's sons and grandsons. He had shaggy black hair, slightly curly, and brown eyes. It was Tal. Talassan.

No, Solas thought, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. No, no, no…

A/N And that's how the tale ends! *cue the evil laughter.* Very sorry I was a bit late with the epilogue here. I was so tired Friday night after work I just crashed and slept for 12 hours. Oops. Hopefully you guys can forgive me! ...on multiple levels on account of me being so evil!

Many thanks to Random Rockets and yes, you are 100% right that Solas always screws up right at the finish line!

Also thank you to Urazz. You're spot on about this affecting Inquisition! Hahaha! I'm not happy unless I'm breaking canon, basically. And boy, do I have canon breaking plans in Inquisition! I hope that doesn't bother people, because I write what I wish I cold read, which is I don't want to rehash the game word for word. I tried very hard to avoid that and instead come up with new material that makes sense for the game and for my canon. Anyway...so I might post the start of Inquisition next week in a story, or I might wait another week to flesh out how I want it to end and to give myself more time to get a lead on posting. If something happens and I decide I can't post that story, I'll do my best to update my Profile with a message so at least you guys will know.

Until then...toodles!