Chapter 34: The Weight of Fate

The trip back to the mansion was as sullen and moody as the weather itself. The rain had finally stopped but the dark oppressing atmosphere remained. Storm clouds colored in ominous grays passed overhead as we exited the graveyard soundlessly. The events and findings of our trip kept the party silent as we trudged over the soggy and overgrown graves on our way to leave.

I walked at the very back of the group, not entirely sure who was walking beside me, but Cardia was in front on me by a few paces flanked closely by Lupin, who was looking extremely ill at ease after learning about the whole experience in the labs.

I had yet to tell everyone about my own experiences, as Cardia's shock and Finis's death overwhelmed us all. I looked around as a sudden wave on panic over took me, as I remembered once more what Finis's death meant for Van Helsing. The brooding soldier was at my side, slowly matching my steps as we got even further from the main group.

Van noticed Sierra's blue eyes gazing at him with a wash of panic and terror. He couldn't think of anything to say to soothe the terror, so he just decided to walk next to her and waited for her to say something. It felt like he should say something, but nothing at all come to mind as a way to calm her fears. What could he say? Now that his mission was complete that he was ready to pay for the crimes he had committed? His heart should feel at ease knowing that his torment was going to end soon, but the weight of his heart only felt that much heavier. Sierra knew about his involvement in the vampire wars, knew the price he was willing to pay, and what he had done to Delly's family. He had tried so hard to get her to leave him alone, to let him go, and despite this, the angel next to him seemed to always be there next to him. Van gritted his teeth at the shitty lot he had been dealt as he meet Sierra's gaze with his own.

Van's piercing gaze met mine, reflecting a deep hurt and a reluctance that echoed my own. My heart thrummed gently, as I broke eye contact and shyly looked away. I felt a deep pit in my stomach and a rolling sense of indisposition. As a result of my despair and shock, I gripped my arms around myself and hurried forward, just attempting to keep my composure and not slow everyone else down.

Van watched silently as Sierra looked away from him, biting her lip and hurrying forward to catch up with the others. She moved away from him.

The hunter blinked in surprise and watched her leave, something about her actions made Van think she was trying to protect him. The thought made Van reach out towards to touch her as she pulled past him. Van caught himself with his arm halfway out, reaching for her as she took a few more steps past him. Van sighed and pulled his arm back slowly. Van stopped, conflicted, as Sierra seemed to sense that he had stopped. The bright eyed angel looked back at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to catch up. Her eyes looked so mournful that Van hurried forward, closing the distance with a few long strides.

"I have something to confess…"

Van almost didn't hear her whisper as he stood beside her once again. Sierra rubbed her arms and didn't move, her gaze flicking towards the group as they passed through the overgrown hedges and disappeared out of sight. Van watched her hands gripping her arms tightly, as if she was trying to hold herself together.

Van felt a sudden sense of dread as she wouldn't meet his gaze.

"I am sorry for back there….I...I...should tell you what I found…." Sierra looked towards the grey sky, still not meeting Van's overly concerned gaze.

"What did you find that would have done this?" Van started trying to ask the question, but she shook her head to silence him. Van realized she was valiantly attempting to hold back tears.

"It...was..." Sierra meet his gaze finally, as Van swore something in her broke. Her voice was so soft, that Van had to read her trembling lips. "...my clan."

Van narrowed his eyes, not sure what she was trying to imply. "What do you mean?" His curiosity got the better of him, even as he knew better then to try to ask her now. Van's voice was harsher then he intended it to be as he tried to shield his own emotions.

I took a ragged breath. It was hard enough confessing what I had found the first time, the second time was going to be absolutely breaking, but the only one who I wanted to tell was Van. Slowly, trying to control my voice, to stop it from breaking. "In that room…..the one….I locked….." My voice failed at the moment. Van seemed to understand that I was struggling to tell him, and he was willing to wait for me to regain my composure.

Seeing Van waiting for me, I struggled to put what I had seen into words. In the end I couldn't voice the horrors, but Van was more then capable of reading my lips. My voiceless, trembling, lips told him what I had found in the room. The floating preserved heads of my clan, along with the remains of my brother and fiance.

Van listened to my soundless confession without so much as a single comment, but I watched his eyes flash as I soundlessly expressed the cause of my distress, however his face might has well have been made of stone for as much emotion as he let show. When I was done, I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt. I had managed not to cry, but my eyes felt like they would bubble over at any second if I let me guard down. I sniffed and turned away from Van to follow the others.

Van stood in the graveyard and watched Sierra move away from him with an absolutely broken expression. She was about the pass into the hedge when she stopped once more and motioned for him to follow her.

"You continue on, I'll follow in a minute."

I shook my head as Van didn't look like he was in much better condition than me. The crippling emotions of the whole event were paralyzing me, but I refused to leave him alone in a graveyard. Not while I had any choice, anyway.

I looked down at the water drenched ground and rubbed my arms. I made up my mind and walked resolutely back over to Van's side.

"I am not going to leave you…" I forced out the trembling words. "I...I….don't know how long I have left...but I refuse to leave you alone here!"

Van's eyes flashed as he gave me a fearful scowl as my words gained strength and passion. I stood my ground. The pain on my arms from the pressure I was apply was the only thing that stopped me from falling apart as Van flat out rejected me once more.

He pushed past me growling. "Just leave me alone."

I stood among the graves for a second longer as I felt a tear drop slide down the side of my face and onto the grave below. I followed diligently after Van as my tears dropped silently on to waterlogged graves.

Author Note:

Yes, we have a short, short chapter this week. That's because this ends the chapter "Nobody Understands the Truth." The intro to the next chapter "Serial Killer" is also going to be a short one, so I'll probably release that in a few days. (FYI: what I mean is that you will probably get 3 chapters released this week.)

So thank you for staying with me and continuing to read! If you like the chapter: comment and/or follow! And to the single reader who diligently comments, I appreciate your efforts & commitment! Thank you for continuously sharing your thoughts!

On an interesting side note: I have a couple of commissions in progress.

RavenBlake finished one of the two pieces I have requested from her last night. I think you might be interested in checking it out. Give Raven some love for this iteration of Sierra. (Remove the ()'s to follow the link.)

https:(/)(/)www.(deviantart).com(/)ravenblake666(/)art(/)Commission-3-Sierra-Arianell-Speedpaint-752520893

She also has a quick sketch youtube video up: https:(/)(/)www.(youtube).com(/)watch?v=RQrmTVlNn-Q&feature=(youtu).be

Christon-Clivef also could use some love.

She did the cover art for this story: https:(/)(/)www.(deviantart).com(/)christon-clivef(/)art(/)Commission-Sierra-Arianell-748558808