The Duty of an Elder Son

by Reapergal08

"Lovino Vargas knew a lot about duty." His Grandfather's swollen empire puts all of his family in danger, the other gangs are massing, the police are on their tails and Lovino is given a bodyguard in one Antonio Carriedo. 1920s Mafia AU fic. Human Names. All characters play vital roles. Some pairings later on. M for lang/violence throughout.

36. The Round Table

So yeah, I didn't update when I planned. I had my birthday and work on, sorry everyone!

Welcome and thank you to the new followers and reviewers as always. Sorry it took so long to get this up! Enjoy! (my Beta and I have referred to this as the slanket chapter. Please note: there were no slankets in the 20s)

Disclaimer- Hetalia characters are not mine!

oOo

After Arthur had been driven away by William and everyone in the house had calmed down enough to go back to bed, Lovino had returned to his bedroom but he found it impossible to rest. Even when Arthur's shouts were no more and a semi silence had fallen upon the house, broken only by his Grandfather in the room above as he stormed and raved to Viktor, he found he could not sleep. The thud of his grandpa's feet and the muffled voices were not enough to keep him awake, but rather it was the sound of his own thoughts. Lovino had at first lain in bed, but he had not closed his eyes, and was instead left staring at the darkened ceiling where the silhouette of his window was lit. Despite the new information that crowded his thoughts and demanded his attention, Lovino's mind with suddenly quite clear with understanding.

There was irrevocably no way to turn back time and remove himself from the mess he was in. Lovino knew that he could easily dart from one blame to another, just as his fevered mind had been doing for the past few days, but that would not remove the fact that all of these things had happened. Their affect was therefore still in place because life did not stop when one tragedy befell someone, no matter how much you wished it to. His illness had made things stand still for a while, but Arthur's surprise visit had made Lovino realised one of two things.

One: Lovino could not lull himself further with the idea that everything would stop while he got his head together. At some point he would have to address the darkened cloud of thought that threatened to overcome him in guilt should he so be immersed in it, sooner rather than later. Life, this life in particular, demanded his full attention and he could not waste away in his sickness and self loathing. There were things he had done that needed to be moved on from, and above all, fixed.

This lead him onto his second realisation: his Grandfather had really gone too far this time.

The kidnap of Peter was the main problem that weighed heavily on Lovino's mind. Of course, it was Lovino's own involvement that had put Alfred's family in danger, this he knew and was more than willing to accept. But still, he could not understand what had moved his grandfather to take such a direction to ward off the police. For one, it was highly dangerous plan for the family, what with the boy being the son of a police officer. It was one thing stealing the son of a rich man for example, but a police officer had the means and the right of the law to find and arrest the individuals who had made such a personal assault on him. Arthur had made a mistake in terms of the case by coming to the house but that lapse of judgement would be short lived. Lovino knew that as soon as his head was clearer in the morning the detective would be out on the case and even the streets looking for his little boy because he was that kind of a man. Of course, his grandfather would have thought of that and would have moved Peter somewhere safe, but the point remained it was a wild tactic.

Lovino swung his legs clear of the bed and sat up. There would be no more sleep tonight and his foot twitched impatiently. Without a sound he eased himself from his bed and stood facing his room, and in the dark he made out his own tired reflection in the mirror. His eyes were wide and disturbed.

And Lovino knew the cause. He had learnt the art of the business at his grandfather's hand since he was five years old, and he knew the ins and outs, the dos and don'ts better than anyone. Roma had always encouraged action, but not without its limits. Women, children, they were untouchable and sacred: always go after the head male, he was taught, with him, you remove the king and the whole game ends. How did taking a little boy that had done nothing to harm the family fit this scheme? Especially when his father was merely a nuisance and should have been taken care of in a more respectable way. The bribe had not worked, but something else would and besides they hid their affairs thoroughly, there was no loose threads that the police could pick up on to bring his grandfather in.

His reflection bit its lip and he turned away from it to sit in the armchair by the window. He usually used the spot for reading, but in the past few days Antonio had taken up the seat to keep Lovino company in his sick bed. There was something littered on the seat and his brushed it off absent-mindedly before sitting down.

The current situation with the family was out of order. It was one thing for Roma to demand the death of a man who was suspected (and rightly so), to be ratting out the family, but another to involve and maybe even destroy an innocent life. The circumstances surrounding Roderich's death irked him, but Peter's kidnap had been the turning point in Lovino's mind. It was not what he had been brought up to believe was right. The family was a business and they worked unconventionally, but always brushing the line of wrong and never crossing it. Lovino had always felt relatively safe in the knowledge that when he took over the business, he would not be expected to act in a way that would go against his conscience.

In the past few days his Grandpa had changed all that and thrown him and the rest of them over the razor edge they had all been dancing on.

Lovino did not like it. Normally he would agree. Normally he would bow his head and smile and say 'yes Nonno', but not now. Now he found himself confused at what to think. All he knew was that this should not have happened to Peter and it definitely should not have happened to Roderich.

The butler had deserved more respect and kindness than he had received at the hands of the family. He should have been spoken to first; he should have never been afraid to come forward in the first place. He had good reasons to rat them out, or at least he did in his head. Instead he had been stolen away, beaten and shot where he could not run, without help and without any final rights. Animals on the street were given more mercy than Roma had allowed a man who had lived under their roof for most of his short life. Roderich had a family with them, he was part of them. To remove him in such a way was an action Lovino would never live with and thinking about it made his head spin and his stomach churn but the more he thought, the more he knew that it had all been so wrong. And now only more things wrong were happening.

He was at a loss. Lovino paused in his musing and looked up and through his bedroom window, out onto the cold grey light of the street as the sun had begun to rise over the darkened city. It would be another fine day. He knew that in some parts of the city, people were already starting to rise from their beds to earn their daily bread. Some of them were under the thumb of his grandfather. Somewhere out there was Arthur and his grieving family, and maybe a few blocks over the Russian group who killed his parents and tried to kill him and his brother would be sleeping. And perhaps across the river or even further away there would be the house, shack or apartment which would be housing a small, terrified little boy, so very far away from home.

Lovino felt insignificant against the sheer vastness of it all. How could he affect any of what was going on right now? He worried at his thumb nail with his teeth. Roma had made it very clear at the party that Lovino's opinion was not valued when it strayed from his own. His grandfather was quiet now upstairs, but Lovino could almost sense his anger still radiating through the floorboards. Speak to him on a reasonable level? On equal terms? His grandfather had never been a reasonable man; he was a man of force and action. Neither were the two equal. He had a way with words that confused Lovino and made him think things he perhaps shouldn't. Trying to talk him out of this madness would be akin to talking to a wall for all the good it would do. No, he had to think of another way to deal with this.

Of course, any action he could take would therefore be against his Grandfather's wishes and that was what scared him more than anything else.

Lovino knew that the fury he would encounter if Roma found out about these thoughts, never mind the actions he might take, would be beyond anything he would have ever experienced at his hands. If voicing his opinion got him pinned to a wall or smacked around the head what would happen if he was seen to be going against him? Because that's of course was what it would be.

Was Lovino ready to take such a step?

Was his grandfather even all that bad?

He had made some bad decisions, granted, but they were mistakes. Didn't he know his own business better than him? What right did he have to speak out? Roma was his grandfather after all, his Nonno, the only parental figure he had ever truly known. There was once a time he had believed the older man could do nothing wrong but now... now he wasn't all that sure.

He felt almost adrift in this knowledge. Who could he to rely on now?

Himself, of course, and his conscience. He could not ignore it, no matter how hard he tried. The more he thought of the immorality of his Grandpa's actions, against others, against God, the more Lovino knew that something had to be done. He could not possibly stand back and watch this happen. He loved his Grandfather, but had to do what he deemed to be right. He had to set an example for his little brother. Lovino had seen the way Feliciano had looked between Arthur and Roma in a mixture of fear and confusion. His little brother had not bypassed the stage of hero worship that Lovino knew in his heart he had stopped feeling long ago, so Lovino as the older brother had to take the first steps. Roma was in the wrong, and Lovino had to be in the right for the sake of the family. To do that he would have to go against his grandfather to fix the mistakes he himself had made.

He was lucky now that Feliciano was on his side, it would make things a lot easier although he did not feel comfortable knowing he was making his brother ultimately chose between them. It would have to be a thing they discussed when they had a free house. There was no way he could risk any dangerous ears listening in at the doors after all, or else things could go badly before they had even begun. But he needed to make Feliciano understand the gravity of his own actions.

Lovino barely noticed how the cold light of the dawn had brightened into the warm glow of a summer morning, instead he was more struck with the change in his heart and his head. He felt clearer than he had done in days, and the nightmares were kept at bay. He was still weak, his body felt drained and shaky, and his mind even more so. In many ways he doubted his own resolve.

Could he really do this?

He did not hear the door open behind him, but Lovino did heard the click as it closed shut on its hinges. He turned his head slightly in the direction of the noise to find Antonio, already dressed for the day and watching him with one hand on the door handle. His dark hair was swept back and curling over his ears and the simple shirt he wore was well fitted. Visually he was a very different man from the poor guy Lovino had first met on the street, but he knew that underneath the fine clothing he was still the same honest guy he had gotten to know and love. The sight of the Spaniard in the doorway was somehow not surprising, as if he had expected him to be there all along like this meeting had been planned between them at an earlier date.

Lovino knew he must have made a strange sight sat up in his pyjamas and staring out of the window, but the other man had seen him worse. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table.

"You're early." He noted quietly. It was barely 6am, usually Antonio wasn't in his room until well past 8am, but then again he was never up this early either. Neither of them spoke for a few moments and the only sound in the room was the distant noises of the street and the vendors a block over opening their shutters to start off the day.

"You've been up all night." Antonio noted from the doorway without moving. Lovino could practically taste the disappointment on his tongue and he had to resist rolling his eyes.

"Only a few hours, it was morning when we went back to sleep." He argued lightly even though he was starting to feel sleepy now. His body was used to a lot more rest than it was getting and it must have shown for the bodyguard to pick it out across the room. Lovino kept his voice low because it was early and he didn't need his brother, or worse his grandfather, hearing their conversation. And besides, his throat still felt like sandpaper. "Don't fuss, and don't just stand by the door you dummy. If you're coming in get your ass over here. I'm not raising my voice across the damn room."

Antonio chuckled and finally wandered closer. He took a seat across from him as he was told, perching uncomfortably on the window ledge to face Lovino directly. The Spaniard's eyes were tired from the night before and he looked almost deflated. Lovino didn't like it, Antonio was always so cheerful it was almost painful to see him looking so warn down. They definitely needed to talk.

But Lovino wasn't sure where to start. He needed to begin with the easier stuff, but there wasn't really anything easy to say. Lovino knew he wanted to talk and sort out things between the two of them but where to begin or what to even cover was a problem. There were some things he could not say, stuff that shifted around in the murk of his mind which he could not quite shed light on just yet. It wasn't because it was Antonio, because it was easy to talk to the other man freely, but rather his own inhibitions holding him back.

"I should really apologise to you." Lovino started in a murmur, breaking the silence that had formed between them. He met Antonio's eyes rather than avoiding them because for once in his life he was being sincere and he needed to make that clear. "I doubt this job has been what you thought it would be when you took it up, I'm sorry."

"I knew it would be difficult." Antonio replied with the faintest hint of a shrug, the smile leaking back onto his face slightly and warming his features. "But perhaps not this difficult. You have not made the task of guarding you easy, Sir."

Lovino snorted slightly. It had been a long time since he had insisted on being called that. It was only a few weeks but, God, how things had changed.

"It's not just that." Lovino continued. He was struck with how easy it was to say what he was saying, usually Lovino would have kept his mouth shut tight but his musings had cleared his head more than he thought. He knew that he no longer saw Antonio as a hindrance, but rather as a friend and that was a big leap for him.

"I should apologise to you for everything you have endured in this damn place. I'm sorry I never really thanked you for saving my worthless ass in the first place and I'm sorry about the mess I've made now. It wasn't fair of me to put this on you, it's not your job, so thank you for sticking around. It might sound strange, but you have helped make things very clear to me. Everything has changed now."

Antonio's eyebrows lowered in confusion and the slightest hint of worry. A pause.

"It sounds like you're trying to dismiss me." The Spaniard seemed to struggle around the words as if they were razors in his mouth. His expression was almost pained.

It was Lovino's turn to shrug lightly, brushing off the expression by looking over Antonio's shoulder and back out onto the city. "Maybe I am. Maybe I think you deserve the chance to get out of this mess before everything turns poisonous around us. You saw what happened last night, you know what I've done. People are dead. I'm surprised you can even think of staying. Any sane man would have run a mile now. You should get out while you can, forget the money-"

"It's not about the money." Antonio's interruption startled him enough to look up and meet the intense gaze the other man sent his way. There was a stubborn set to his features that made Lovino frustrated. He knew that things would be easier if Antonio left, it would be one less body to worry about, but he had to admit that he needed the man. He was frustrated with his own need, and frustrated with Antonio for wanting to stay like an idiot. What if he got hurt of worse? Lovino doubted his already heavy conscience could handle the weight of one so dear to him.

Dear to him? Lovino had to blink in confusion at the thought. When had Antonio moved to close enough to be dear to him? But some small part of him knew it was true, Lovino couldn't imagine a life without him in it now. The guy was his rock in the tide of madness, always constant and cheerful. Feliciano had been that rock, but now? He was growing up and becoming his own man leaving Lovino behind. He had not noticed the dependency he had placed in the bodyguard before now, but even thinking about Antonio leaving was making him feel quite upset. It was both a physical need for his closeness and a mental want of the reassurance and strength that he himself lacked.

Antonio's insistence that it wasn't the money was confusing though, because if he was the Spaniard that would be the only positive to working for the Vargas family. All he had from them was grief.

"Then what is it keeping you here?" Lovino whispered, pulling up his weak body in the chair to properly talk to Antonio and push off the invasive thoughts. He thought he saw Antonio shuffle uncomfortably under his gaze but he didn't relent. He would have his answer. "There are thousands of jobs in this city if you look, and none of them would be as dangerous or maddening as this one. There must be something keeping you here. If it's not the money then it's clearly not my charm or the stress free living conditions." The bastard had the audacity to laugh and Lovino blushed deeply at the tone.

"I'm being serious, Antonio. I don't think I'll be able to give you the opportunity to leave again, not after today. I'm giving you a way out, take it."

That shut him up. It was forced, but Antonio smiled pleasantly as if they were sat discussing the weather.

"If you can't figure it out, I'm not going to explain it to you, Lovi." He retorted. Lovino wanted to chase the argument, but he was tired and confused and the day was still ahead of them. In the pause where Lovino stared indecisively at him, Antonio leaned in and looked closer at Lovino's face with growing concern. "You really haven't slept have you? You look terrible."

And they were back on his health: his least favourite topic at the moment. He couldn't spare any time to worry about himself when there were things to do, but then again he did need his strength! Such a bother. He threw himself back on his chair and huffed.

"Thanks for the diagnosis, Dr Carriedo." Lovino sighed, ignoring the pouting lips before him at his own blatant disregard for his health. "But I couldn't sleep without sorting out my head. These things needed to be dealt with once and for all; I can't leave things as they are. We need to fix them and make things right again, or at least try."

"We?"

"You, me, Feliciano..." Lovino trailed off, part of him hopeful that Antonio was taking his offer and fleeing, the other half rattling the cage doors and screeching to stop him. He tried to gauge the Spaniard's features before testing, "that is of course if you're going to stay?"

But to his heart's delight, Antonio grinned. "How am I meant to protect you if I'm not here? I promised Lovi, right when we first met I promised I would stay and help you. I won't go back on my word. You'll have my assistance with anything, just ask. We'll sort something out, don't worry too much- but first, breakfast. You look dead on your feet and I am not having you ill again."

When did you become my mother? He wanted to grumble, but instead he pulled a face so irritated it made the other man laugh gently as he stood up. The conversation was clearly over and done with: Lovino had done his part and still Antonio was staying for whatever mad reason he had. He had seemed so certain, and yet as the bodyguard moved past his seat his eyes were troubled. Lovino found his arm jumping out and grabbing the end of his sleeve, forcing the other man to stop in his tracks. Lovino didn't look at him but he could feel Antonio's gaze bare down on him in confusion.

There were a thousand things he wanted to say.

"I mean it..." He wanted to thank him for all the times he had put up with the rubbish Lovino spouted, for being understanding towards Feliciano and caring towards everyone else. He wanted to thank him even more for not hating him for what he had done and sticking by him. It seemed important to tell him now that he knew he was going to stay. But instead all he could manage was, "You saved my life. I can never repay you enough, I'm so sorry for-"

The hand that gripped his shoulder was warm and light, as was the smile that drew his eye.

"You can repay me by eating something, cariño." Antonio chuckled. Lovino stared up at him and he back down, neither of them letting go of the other until Lovino realised how stupid he must look with a hand on his arm like that. He released him and after a pause Antonio hurried off for breakfast, leaving Lovino once again with his jumbled thoughts.

oOo

Breakfast had been brought and eaten quietly, the two of them finding it awkward to speak after all that had been said. The silence was only interrupted with Antonio's agreement in Lovino's insistence that any conversation regarding future plans needed to take place in a free house. He seemed happy to wait for the opportunity and Lovino was happy to prepare himself in the meantime.

He had eaten his meal and had been dozing in his seat, perhaps closer to sleep than he thought when Feliciano had rushed into his room with a crash of the door hitting the wall and demanded an audience with his brother. Antonio had not said a word but his look of disapproval as he moved out of his way spoke volumes. Lovino had sat up and blinked stupidly at his brother's earnest features before letting the information that his brother was babbling sink in. The younger boy had been downstairs eating breakfast when he had seen their Grandpa leave, he had of course questioned him and got a response. Apparently Roma was out all day on some sort of errand across town. He'd taken Viktor and Heracles but Eliza had also taken the lift in order to visit Roderich's grave. Feliciano added that he had still seemed annoyed, but he was a lot calmer looking after a night of rest. Roma and his entourage had gone, and as soon as the latch had clicked shut behind their Grandfather's back, Feliciano had rushed up to Lovino's room. Lovino had not heard them leave and neither had his Grandfather informed him of the trip, he had been dozing and a look in Antonio's direction saw him looking guilty. Roma had obviously visited while he had been out and Antonio had not woken him. It didn't matter. He didn't know where the older man had gone, but he was gone which was the main thing. They had their free house and there was no telling when they would get it again.

Feliciano had wanted to have the chat right there and then in Lovino's bedroom, but he rejected the idea even as it formed. Lovino would not discuss any of his actions in his bedroom where the front door could not be heard clearly, practically bed-ridden or not.

Antonio made to complain when he realised what his charge wanted, but Lovino had demanded to be moved downstairs regardless. He could walk on his own albeit slowly, it just took another pair of hands to help with the blanket he threw over his lap and the pillow he used for his back. He was still ill after all and his tender chest from coughing none stop needed a bit of support. He was still cold too even though it was warm in the house: or so he guessed by looking at everyone their loose shirts and bottoms.

It probably would have been easier to sit in the living room but there was something about the comfortable, homely space that made it seem wrong to discuss what they had to. The kitchen was also off limits for the same reason. Lovino had no love for the dining room so it was in there, after a small bicker between himself and Antonio over the suitability of the chairs, where they moved everything. It took them a while to set up because Antonio insisted on making sandwiches for lunch, even though Lovino felt progressively more and more like he would vomit the more the table was set up around him. He was well aware what he had to do now, but having his little brother bustling around the room without any realisation about what he would be told next made him feel uneasy.

It was only when the door had closed behind Antonio that Lovino found he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

He chosen to sit in the middle rather than at the head of the table with Antonio sliding in beside him; Feliciano and, to his apparent surprise as much as Lovino's own, Ludwig had taken the seats across. The table which usually felt so spacious now felt very closed in, and the locked door didn't help. He could feel them all watching him like hawks and Lovino felt sick in more ways than one; there he could do nothing to stop the shake in his hand as he reached out for the glass of water Antonio had just poured for him.

"I don't like this at all, but it has to be done." Lovino admitted in a croak, his voice small in the vast space of the dining room.

He took a sip from the glass delicately, very aware of the sets of eyes watching him intently. He was also very aware of the silence. He could feel his face reddening as much as his sickly pallor would allow. Internally he cringed away from everything: the situation, the conversation, just the whole room. He might have understood it had to happen, but it didn't mean he had to enjoy it: it was humiliating.

However, he still managed to look over the rim of the cup, defiantly glaring at one individual in particular.

"I don't understand what you are doing here."

Ludwig grimaced under his glare. Or rather his stoic facial muscles spasmed for a second to look like a grimace. There was a mixture of emotions flitting across his pale face as if his features couldn't quite decide what it was they wanted to do, only to settle on confusion.

"It was Master Feliciano's idea not mine, sir." Ludwig fidgeted awkwardly, looking to his charge and back to Lovino again briefly. "I don't think I quite understand what's going on here or what the point of this meeting is."

"How much does he know?" Antonio directed the question at Feliciano who grinned apologetically at his brother. He better not have-

"He knows most of what's happened." Lovino inwardly groaned. That meant he knew everything, why did his brother have such a big mouth? "I had to tell him! It would be weird if I didn't, I don't like keeping secrets from Luddy he's my best friend and besides we could maybe use his help in all this, he's super smart-"

Lovino held up his hand to stop the tide of chatter. His main worry was that Ludwig was his grandfathers progeny, surely whatever was said at the table would feed back to Viktor in some way and then it would reach their grandfather..? But no, Ludwig wasn't malicious, and despite the ruler up his backside he wasn't the sort to rat out people, especially not if expressly told otherwise. He wasn't overly pleased the other man knew but maybe Feliciano was right and they could use him for something. He was a big guy after all, extra muscle and all that, not that Lovino was planning anything involving muscle but at least it was more of an option now. He would brush it off and trust in his brother and bodyguard to keep the other guy in order. If only Ludwig could remove that confused expression off his face...

He realised they were all waiting for him to begin. The silence was oppressive and he couldn't help but look to Antonio for some form of help. The only thing the Spaniard could offer him was a small smile of encouragement that made him feel even worse. After all that musing his mind had gone blank. What was it he had needed to say again?

"I don't know where to start." He admitted weakly. Feliciano hesitantly raised his hand into the air as if they were at school and he wanted to ask a question. Lovino sighed and nodded at him to speak, busying his hands with taking another sip of water he didn't really need.

"Can I ask a question?" Feliciano's voice was almost timid except for the determined stare that locked onto Lovino from across the table, his hands clasped in front of him much like their Grandfather sat when he was thinking.

Ah, of course he would have to explain some things before revealing his thoughts. "Go ahead."

"I wanted to know more about those men from yesterday," his brother began. "Or at least the smaller man who was doing all the shouting, he seemed to know who you were. But I thought that was odd because he is the man running Grandpa's case and I don't understand how you could know him or his family. No offence, Lovi, but you're not one to leave the house much. So how do you know him?"

Ah, Lovino bit his lip. His initial response a week ago would have been to lie or tone down the truth, but he had promised Feliciano that he would be more involved now. To do that he needed the truth so he would keep to his word. It would hurt, but he would do it.

"He's Alfred's father, and Peter's too." Lovino explained. He found it easier to aim the conversation down at the table top rather than face his brother's gaze but it didn't stop him noticing his look of shock the was reflected in the polished table surface. "Alfred had always been nagging me to meet his dad, but the first time I met him was at the meal. Alfred was eager for us to be introduced and I guess Arthur was pleased to have the heir of the man he was hunting sat unwittingly at his dining table."

He didn't feel like explaining who Alfred and the others were solely for the benefit of Ludwig and Antonio. Like Feliciano, Ludwig must have had a faint idea who Alfred was, because it was through Matthew that Feliciano had got Lovino the job in the first place. Antonio was bound to struggle but he was sure he could keep up.

"Perhaps I should have paid more attention to Alfred's rambling but I was never overly interested. I usually started later and finished earlier that his dad came home, I didn't want to go out of my way to meet this guy, no matter how 'great' he claimed him to be. I should have known something was off with the way he greeted me that evening..."

"This was the night you missed dinner and the master was displeased?" Ludwig's question threw Lovino a little, he hadn't really expected him to engage with the conversation all that much but he seemed intent to get all of the details.

He nodded. "That's right. After I'd been laid off and handed in my uniform, Francis felt bad for throwing me out on my ass. He invited me for an evening meal with the family, nothing special, but kinda a little goodbye party. Mostly I think he wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings over the whole affair. I knew Nonno would be mad at me skipping dinner but I couldn't really say no, so I managed to sneak out and go to the meal."

Lovino glanced around the table to make sure people were following him. Ludwig seemed satisfied that his question had been answered and beside him Feliciano sat with his features tight but listening in closely. To his left Antonio looked thoughtful, but Lovino could see the spark of remembrance flashing in his eye that showed he knew what had happened after the meal in the garage. He might have been even trying to look back to work out Lovino's behaviour for pointers of his guilt. The thought made him rush ahead with his confession.

"I had a great time. It was the first time I'd ever eaten out without it being at a restaurant for some fancy occasion, and with friends too. Perhaps it was this that made me get a bit... carried away with myself. Arthur had managed to get a lot out of me before Peter let on what his father actually did for a living, and by that time he was too late. Like an idiot I had given the name of our church."

Feliciano blinked in realisation, is mouth forming a perfect O. "So that Sunday-?"

"They were outside watching us." Antonio mumbled for him, the information already slotting together in his head before Lovino could confirm it. He looked surprisingly angry, though not at him. "That's what you were looking at. You were looking at their car, I knew it wasn't just the heat-"

"And then they were outside the house, they must have followed us home. I even went up and spoke to them!" Feliciano interrupted, understanding dawning in his eyes as he put a hand to his mouth in horror. "I thought it was a coincidence but they were watching where we live, our house. And Roderich must have seen them and gone out to them when no one was looking and-"

"He knew one of them, he told us so." Antonio explained darkly. Great so that wasn't a secret now-? Lovino almost kicked him under the table. "They must have twisted his arm into reporting to them."

All this talk of Roderich was starting to make Lovino feel distinctly queasy and unwell. He didn't really like to even think about the man, not just now at least, his head was busy enough with the issue with the police to even sit down and uncover the stone that was the guilt in his stomach. He felt Ludwig's cool gaze on him and was surprised, and slightly relieved, when the bodyguard spoke up again.

"So this Peter, what can you tell us about him?" He interrupted the chatter in his usual measured way, one eyebrow raised as if he was managing the conversation back onto its proper course.

"He's Alfred's half brother from Arthur's second relationship back in England." Lovino was more comfortable being interrogated than breaching that topic of conversation. "He's about twelve years old, spitting image of his old man and as mouthy as a boy his age can be. Arthur brought him with him when he came back over to America for work after Al's mum died, because apparently Peter's mum back in England didn't want anything to do with him."

It was a minute facial shift but Ludwig looked uncomfortable at his words. His brother spared the bodyguard the smallest of glances before continuing. Strange, what was going on there? The room filled with an uncomfortable silence as everyone considered the fate of this young boy, or at least that was what Lovino thought on.

"So what happens now?" Antonio broke the silence. He sounded surprisingly calm and his tone made Lovino look down at the table in something similar to shame.

"The way I see it there isn't much we can do." Ludwig sighed before Lovino could speak. He pulled a plate towards him, clearly deeming the conversation over and done with. "I would suggest we help but this boy, however sad the whole thing is, has been taken beyond our grasp. It would be very hard to get him away from where he is, never mind back to his father without the master noticing. And I doubt he would take it lightly if we did. There's so much going on right now-"

"Then doesn't that make it the best time to do this?" Feliciano interrupted earnestly. Even though he was responding to Ludwig his eyes were on Lovino as he spoke, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright. "We can't leave a little boy like that, not in such a horrid and mean place. I'm not sure what Grandpa was thinking taking him away like that, it's so very nasty, but it is our job to make it right as his grandchildren. We have to step up! If we help out then we're just bringing things back to order, right?"

"I don't think it works like that-"

Feliciano shook his head dismissively. "Of course it does! An eye for an eye and all that stuff, Ludwig. Grandpa would want us to correct this, I know he would and it's clearly on Lovi's conscience too. The message has been sent to the police officers after all, there's no point keeping a little boy like that all locked up now."

Lovino kept silent and his gaze to the table. Feliciano was talking as if all of this could be swept under the table easily...

"Lovi?" The voice brought him back to the room, or perhaps it was the hand that lightly gripped his shoulder as if it would break. He looked up and locked eyes with Antonio.

"What do you want to do?"

Lovino opened his mouth only to have to try again when no sound came out the first time.

"Firstly, I want to help Peter get home." He admitted quietly, very aware of the volume of his own voice. "It's my big mouth that got him involved in all of this, if I hadn't said anything Arthur wouldn't have anything for the case. Nothing for the case would have meant that Grandpa wouldn't have been troubled by the police breathing down his neck and forcing him to do this. I need to make sure this won't happen again. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I know I'm not comfortable getting you all involved in fixing my mistakes."

Antonio opened his mouth to argue but to Lovino's surprise Ludwig got there first with a solemn cough and a hand in the air.

"Please sir, but you cannot go on beating yourself up over this. It was an easy mistake to make and for now we must focus on how to get this young boy back to his father, if that is your wish. It won't be easy and we will all need to have our wits about us."

"I agree with Luddy!"

"Same here, Ludwig is right. Lovino, you're right." It was Antonio's small smile that flipped him over an edge he did not realise he had been standing on. It was the clutch of darkness on his heart, the gaping void when he tried to roll over in bed and sleep soundly, lately he found a glaring precipice awaiting. Lovino did not deserve their smiles and support, he deserved their anger and dislike. He had committed so many wrong acts in the past few weeks, put so many people in danger and for what? It wasn't just Peter, an ordeal which was bad enough in itself, but the whole domino effect of his actions. Couldn't they see that? A man had died and a young boy had been taken away from his family. All of what had happened had been down to him and he would not be told otherwise.

"You don't understand." There was no quick fix to any of this, no escape button. He refused to acknowledge the burn in his throat as it seized up because he would not be upset over this, he had no right. No, his only option was to fix it but he couldn't let them think he was better than he was. He was not a martyr in all of this, he was a fool. "How can any of you sit there and say it doesn't matter? These mistakes have been fatal to more than just the family-"

"Everyone makes bad decisions-" No, dammit.

"Not like this, Antonio." He snapped in return as Feliciano looked on with wide eyes and Ludwig's mouth turned into a flat line across his face. "I have ruined everything and the only way to fix it is to make it worse. To do nothing is to be safe, and to remain ignorant to the suffering I have caused. If I do nothing I am a coward, because to make a move now is to go against Grandpa and that terrifies me. Who knows what he will do to me and the rest of you if he finds out. I am scared, I'm so scared Feli, but I have been a coward up to now and I'm paying for it."

Antonio looked annoyed but unsure. "You're not-"

"Roderich." That one word came out as a hiss and everything fell silent. Lovino was aware of the eyes in the room falling onto him but he did not find it intimidating, not anymore. He would be heard and listened to, not ignored as if he was overreacting or being stupid. "Roderich is dead because of me. Eliza is a widow because of me. No one else did it! I could have said no and stuck up for him like I promised, but I kept my mouth shut because I was afraid. I need to make all this right but nothing can ever help me to live with what I have done because it should never have happened in the first place."

"Lovi-" Feliciano had gone very pale and his voice was barely above a whine. Lovino snapped.

"No, Feli. Nothing you or anyone says will make this better. I murdered him in cold blood-"

"Lovino-!"

"I shot him!" Lovino was not hysterical , but he was bordering on it. He could feel the bubble of hysteria working its way through the carefully constructed walls he had made up, the tension leaking through the cracks. "He was right there on the floor in front of me and begging for me not to do it, to think of his baby, to think of Eliza. And I did, and I still pulled the trigger right in his face-"

He was struck with the memory of the blood and the rain. He stopped suddenly, his lips snapping shut to stop to poison leaking out of them. He hadn't wanted to go into detail but there it was laid out on the table next to the plates of sandwiches and jugs of juices. Antonio was solemn, Ludwig looked faintly sick but Feliciano was the hardest eyes to meet. He had to force himself to turn his head, and when he did Lovino met only sadness. There was no hatred or dislike in his brother's eyes, but they were full of tears and his bottom lip trembled slightly.

There was deadly silence. Lovino noted how heavily he was breathing and had to reach up to clear his vision that had turned cloudy before he continued.

"I have made the most horrible betrayal imaginable to my one of my only friends, Feliciano." He wasn't sure why he whispered the words across to his brother alone but it seemed important to direct his speech at him. He had to understand. "I did this on Grandpa's orders and he was happy when the task was done. He expects me to move on and I can't. I cannot live with myself knowing that I have done nothing to help someone else and I will not rest, at least until I have cleared my conscience."

"This starts with Peter. I want to help him get home and out of the firing line, then Elizabeta too if I can manage it." Lovino did not mention how Roderich had wanted to escape with his family and how Lovino had promised it those many nights ago. There didn't seem to be a point now, his betrayal was clear. "She's in danger here, we all are. I don't understand what's going on right now with the family, but it's not good Feli. And to do what is right, we have to go against Nonno. It's the only way forward."

Feliciano bit his lip. "But we won't-"

"Of course we will, Feli." He growled, and switched swiftly to Italian to cut out Ludwig and Antonio from a conversation that should have only been between the two of them to start with, he knew that now. "My mistakes have benefited the business, if they hadn't grandpa would have punished me, right? So if we correct them then that's doing the opposite of what he would want. Don't shake your head at me, you know this is the truth. And you know what he can be like if he doesn't get his own way. I need to do this, but I will understand if you don't want to. All I ask is that you do not stop me."

"Don't want to help you?!" Feliciano stood up from his chair, the legs screeching across the floor like fingers on a chalkboard, making Lovino cringe. Lovino could see that Ludwig was growing ever more upset with the conversation, whereas Antonio was watching the conversation intently as if he would break the language barrier just by looking hard enough. "Fratello, what are you saying? Of course I want to help!"

"Even if it means disobeying Grandpa?" There was the crux of it, Feliciano barely paused before he answered and his words blurred together with the force of his voice and the feelings behind it.

"He never said not to do it!" Feliciano had switched to their native language too but Lovino had a feeling that was more out of stress than anything else. "I understand what all this means, I might be young but I'm not stupid! I know he will be mad, but that's only if he finds out- which he won't. We will make sure he doesn't and then you will be safe."

Lovino stayed silent and instead watched as Feliciano breathed heavily, his eyes challenging.

"I want to help you do this, Lovi." He mumbled, sinking sheepishly back into his chair. "For whatever altruistic reason you're trying to do it alone, stop. I understand how you feel about Roderich, but I don't think he would want you to be like this. He was your friend as much as mine. And you can't do this alone..."

"You're brother's right, Lovino." Antonio spoke up. He had been relatively quiet throughout but now as he spoke his voice was like a calming balm on Lovino's mind. He looked over at him: the man that had stayed. He was nothing to do with all of this, and yet- "Four minds are better than one, and we will need all of us to make sure we are not caught out with these plans. I think I speak for us all when I say we agree that something needs to be done to stop this madness, but ultimately it's you who decides what happens next. We are at your disposal."

Lovino felt so tired by this all... "I just want to help, and I need your help to fix this."

"Then help we will." Antonio said decisively. Lovino could feel the heat rising in his face and the acceptance around him and allowed perhaps the smallest hint of hope to touch his heart. Maybe they could do this...

"Thank you." He whispered, ever so lightly that he was sure that no one heard him over the beginning chatter of their plans to change everything.

He could only hope it would all be for the better.

oOo

Hope you enjoyed reading this. Not much went on but still, it's leading up to some things! Please drop a review or PM to let me know what you thought (or even to just nag me to get my butt in gear and write!)

Until next update!