A/N: Okay, I was having a really shit day today. And this just kind of came out. This was a request by terrihead1.

It may not be exactly what you wanted to read; but when I started it, I just couldn't stop myself from writing it. So, I hope the majority of you do like it. It's an emotional one; I'll just leave it at that.

Also, a short one.

Chapter 36: Lost (1x08)

Unknown Location

Bo kept walking through the dead of night as she made her way to the Strip Club that Vex was currently located. She'd never felt so betrayed and heart broken in all of her life. What Lauren did, was something Bo couldn't have seen coming. She thought they were on the same page. Maybe she was mistaken.

Were her feelings completely one sided?

Her heart was hurting.

More than it'd ever hurt before.

It showed just how much she'd come to trust, and like Lauren. Bo felt things for her, that she'd never felt with anyone. Not Dyson, not Kyle, no one. She knew it was too soon to say it, and probably wouldn't make much difference now; but Bo could've seen herself falling in love with Lauren easily.

The Club wasn't far away from her, so she kept walking. Her fingers grasping the handle of her sword so tight that her knuckles had turned white. Here she was, geared up for the battle of her life and all she wanted to do; was go home, and cry.

Because it wasn't the fact that Lauren lied to her that was killing Bo. It was the fact, that Bo had put her faith in Lauren's good hearted nature. When Dyson, and Kenzi warned her otherwise. Bo just couldn't get over how good Lauren made her feel. Almost, special.

Suddenly, Bo halted her movements. She'd been friends with Lauren for a while now, and always knew from the moment they met; that things were heading in a romantic direction. One of Bo's abilities, was to read the auras of other people.

And every time she'd hang out with Lauren; she watched her light up like a Christmas tree around her. That wasn't a joke. It wasn't a figment of Bo's imagination. It was real. Auras didn't lie. Even when someone tried to conceal their real feelings, Bo could always see the truth.

Lauren loved her.

But, if she did; then why did she do this? Why did she hurt Bo so badly? Bo still wanted to kill Vex for what he's done to Luanne. But she couldn't tear herself away from wanting to know why Lauren would do this to her when she felt the way she did. She had to know.

Vex would still be here after she got answers.

So, Bo turned around; got back to her car. Stripping off all her gear and shoved it in the trunk. Then got into her vehicle and checked her phone. Both Dyson and Kenzi had been blowing up her phone, telling her that Lauren had told them where she was and they were coming to help.

But she didn't need anyone's help.

Bo turned her phone off, threw it in the backseat and started the car. As the engine roared, she took a deep breath. Wondering if this was the right thing to do. Screw the right thing. She wanted answers. Damn it, she deserved answers. Once the care was in gear, she sped off to Lauren's apartment.

It was time for her to explain.

Lauren's Apartment – Later

This whole night had been a train wreck. All Lauren wanted to do was keep Bo safe; she never meant to cause her such pain. Especially after connecting with her so intimately. Lauren had never felt this way about anyone. And now Bo despised her. And Lauren didn't blame her.

As soon as she told Dyson about where Bo was going, Lauren went to the Ash. She faced him in tears, telling him what happened and that she wished she'd never met him. Though, she didn't follow his order to the letter, she still ended up hurting Bo.

She expected him to throw her in a dungeon for how she spoke to him; it wouldn't have been her first stint. But he didn't. Instead, he told her to go home and calm down. Deep down, he knew that she cared about Bo. But didn't question it, because he knew Lauren would never be so stupid as to act on it and put her life in danger.

But he was wrong. If it was anyone else, maybe she wouldn't risk her life. But it was Bo. And Lauren couldn't deny that from the first moment she laid eyes on her; that she'd felt something for her. Something strong.

Not that it mattered now; Bo would never speak to her again after tonight. Which Lauren expected, and took it with her head held high. But that didn't stop herself from feeling like shit over what she'd done. So, she gave in to defeat, and went home.

She unlocked the door, letting herself in. She took off her coat, and shoes; then flipped the light switch. As the room was bathed in light, Lauren was startled when she saw Bo sitting on her couch holding a bottle of whiskey. "Bo" she had no idea what she was seeing.

"Helped myself to your Whiskey…" Bo waved the bottle in the air, then took a big swig. "… I figured you wouldn't mind. You know, considering—" she wanted to voice Lauren's betrayal, but her mouth wouldn't let her. It hurt too much. "I didn't kill Vex. In case you were wondering"

Lauren stepped forward slowly, not wanting to make her leave. "I wasn't…" She didn't care about Vex. "… Are you okay?" She sat on the end of the couch, thinking that being close to her would be too much right now.

Bo laughed sadly, her eyes were red from crying. She climbed up Lauren's fire escape and let herself in through the balcony thanks to Kenzi's lesson in lock picking. She found the whiskey on the kitchen counter so she helped herself. "An hour ago, I was so happy. And now, I feel like my heart's been ripped out. Is that okay enough for you?"

"Bo, I'm so sorry" Lauren sighed.

"Yeah, you and everyone else who's ever lied to me…" Bo sniffled, sipping the whiskey. "… Do you know what the worse thing is, out of all this?" She turned to her. "I defended you…" She said. "… I trusted you! They warned me about you; but I didn't listen. Because as cliché as it sounds, I was falling for you" she got up and put more distance between them.

Lauren closed her eyes, exhaling. She didn't think Bo would admit that to her. Not after what she'd done. "There's nothing I can say that'll make this better…" she said. "… But believe me when I say; hurting you was the last thing I wanted" she needed her to know that.

"But you did hurt me!" Bo yelled at her, tears falling again. "You know, after I killed my first boyfriend; I thought I knew what heart ache felt like. That if it happened again; I'd be okay because I'd been through it already. But nothing, could've prepared me for tonight. You used me!"

Lauren stood from the couch, "Bo, the Ash-" she stopped when Bo spun around and threw the bottle of whiskey at the wall in front of them. Her sound of the glass smashing ran through her ears.

"There you go again! The Ash wants this; the Ash wants that!" Bo needed to calm down. "Just answer me, one thing…" she approached her, wiping the tears that continued to fall. "… Was any of it real? Or are you just that good of an actress?"

She wasn't going to lie; that hurt. Lauren felt that pierce her heart like a knife. "If you really didn't think it was real; you wouldn't be asking me that…" she was just going to go for it. So, she held Bo's face. "… Does this feel real?"

Bo closed her eyes, letting herself get lost in her touch. Like she did before. You couldn't fake that. But after what happened, her paranoia was overshadowing everything. "I wanted it to be…" she cried again. "… Out of everyone, you were the only one who treated me fairly. You believed in me"

"I still do!" Lauren said. "None of that's changed. Bo, listen to me; all he asked me to do, was distract you. And keep you as far away from Vex as possible. He never told me how…" she found herself crying too. "… I knew what Vex would do to you if you confronted him; I couldn't let him hurt you"

"So, you were protecting me?" Bo watched her nod. "Funny; the definition of protecting someone is to keep them from harm. Not to inflict it. For what it's worth? I believe you had good intentions; but it doesn't change how I feel. And right now; I feel used, I feel hurt, and I feel embarrassed" she backed out of Lauren's grip.

Lauren took a breath, wiping her tears. Bo had every right to feel that way. "You have every right to hate me"

Bo shook her head, laughing in tears. "That's the thing Lauren! I don't hate you; I love you…" it was her turn to grab Lauren's face. She didn't know why; but she kissed her. And even after the heartbreak and betrayal; it still felt amazing. "… That's why this hurts so much" she whispered.

"All I wanted to do was keep you safe" Lauren muttered close to her.

Sighing, Bo nodded. "I know; but-"

"It doesn't change how you feel…" Lauren finished for her. "… I've lost your trust; I get that. And if you never wanna talk to me again; then I'll understand. I just need you to know…" she held leaned into her. "… That I love you too. And that I'm sorry" she pressed the softest kiss to her forehead.

And as much as Bo wanted to forgive and forget; that was something she couldn't do. At least not at this moment. Before she began crying again; Bo left without another word. She didn't know if she would ever trust Lauren again; and if she did, it wouldn't be the same as before.

Though, this experience did provide her with one thing; it made her realise that she was capable of love, and that it was also possible for someone to love her in return.

But love itself, was a dangerous game.

And this time; Bo had lost.

A/N: I know, what a mess. But, here's why I didn't make it a happy ending. Because I believe, that in a situation like that, regardless of feelings; it would be hard for anyone to forgive. That kind of betrayal, wouldn't just be brushed under the rug and be forgotten. I wanted it to feel real.

Let me know how I did. X