AN: I've had a really hard time writing the next few chapters with what's to come, so I split the most heartbreaking one up to make it a bit easier. This one is short but important. To help me write the next chapters I worked on a video to put me in the right frame of mind. Things are going to be depressing for a while but as always this is a Robb/Ella story and it will stay that way. I've posted the video on my youtube- link is on my profile. The song is what I was feeling when I wrote this chapter. Once again thank you for the favorites and reviews. I'll post the 2nd part of this chapter tomorrow.
Chapter 36
Robb did not leave his war council that next day, nor did he go to his bed to sleep next to his wife that night. He was too caught up in what he had to do, in less than 2 days he would be sending her North to Jon. He couldn't bear to watch her leave him. How could he be a King and be impotent to do anything but let her go?
It was for her safety, or so he told himself. He didn't trust his men to keep her safe while he rode south, and it wasn't safe to take her with him.
Thoughts of never seeing her again made him dizzy, even worse thoughts of dying and failing her made him sick.
If he fell, he had to trust that Jon got them all out there. If he lost, they wouldn't even be safe in Winterfell. His family would need to flee North or even West across the Narrow Sea. Which ever Jon thought best. They would hunt them down and kill his siblings, likely dragging Ella back to Kings Landing in chains. He didn't trust the Queen not to try and marry her off to some other nobleman, and he knew that would be a fate worse than death for her.
Robb was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't hear his name being called.
"Sire," Robb's eyes snapped to meet his uncles.
"Yes?"
"The Queen is demanding to see you," every eye in the room avoided his.
He rose, restraining himself from snapping at his uncle for saying that out-loud where his men could hear. Robb hesitated before opening the door to see her. He needed to hide the misery in his eyes before she noticed. Better to dwell on the matter later than let it intrude on his time with her again.
When the door opened guilt almost overwhelmed him. Her eyes were red and swollen, obviously from crying and she forced a smile for him.
He was a fool for spending their last hours away from her, stewing in his own misery rather than spending it with her.
Not for the first time he realized she was too good for him. He could not let her down again. He ran his hand through his hair, a gesture he repeated too often of late.
"Come to bed." She beckoned, reaching for his hand. He obediently followed.
When they entered their chambers she undressed, before moving to help him do the same. "It's the middle of the day," he finally said, mostly to keep his mind off of how sad she looked.
"I know but the going away feast is tonight and it will likely run late. I need my husband now." He nodded, because he needed her too.
The feel of her soft hands gently removing his clothing was almost too much.
He closed his eyes and tried to determine exactly when she became so… needed. At what point could he have let her go without experiencing this impending feeling of loss? He pinpoint the exact moment she'd ensnared him, and so he traced through their time together and soon began to realize that it had happened far earlier than he would have thought.
He loved her from the moment he saw her sick in that cage. She had him from then, and he was hopelessly in love with her. He would give up everything and everyone to be with her. She was his as he was hers, which only made what he had to do even worse.
He opened his eyes a fraction when he felt her tug him towards the bed.
"Make love to me," she whispered as she laid back on the bed, exposing her naked body to his eyes.
He followed her onto the bed and covered her body with his. She ran one hand into his hair, the other moved to his backside, trying to pull him to her. He didn't deny her, wouldn't do that to either of them.
He placed kisses on every inch of skin he could reach until she took control and rolled him onto his back. She straddled his hips as he helped guide himself inside her. They spent the next few hours making love, never able to get enough of each other. He reluctantly allowed her to get out of the bed so she could dress for the feast. If it wasn't for his soldiers needing this, he would gladly remain in the bed with her until the following day. But he was King and he had a duty that he could not ignore.
xxx
Robb watched Arya inhale a roll she had stolen off Gendry's plate with a frown on his face. He didn't like the boy always being so close to his little sister, and he definitely didn't like how comfortable she seemed around the much older boy.
"Where is Ella?" Arya asked once she noticed him glaring at Gendry.
"She wanted to surprise me, I'll give her a little longer before I send a search party." he said more to himself than her since she had gone back to stealing off of Gendry's plate.
The boy had a look that said he was all too used to her taking what she wanted from him. Robb forced himself to look away. No need to ruin the last night by dragging the boy out by his collar and threatening him. He'd make sure to write to Jon later, informing him to keep a watch on things. With as protective as Jon was over Arya Robb was sure he would stay on top of things.
The hall doors opened and Robb sucked in a breath.
Ella glided into the room wearing the most exquisite dress he had ever seen. It was fit for a Queen, and everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to watch the beauty enter.
He had never seen anything more beautiful.
His heart beat wildly in his chest until she stopped just feet away, waiting for his reaction.
A smile took over his face which she returned, and shrugged a little as if to say 'what did you expect?'.
Robb suddenly found himself on his feet, pulling her into his arms without even remembering getting up.
"You look beautiful," he breathed against her cheek. He heard her giggle as she rested her head against his chest.
xxx
The feast passed with his men drinking and eating far too much while he barely touched his food. He was thankful for Arya and her never ending talking who kept Ella from noticing his sulking, and when Ella tried to speak to him about her brother Tryion being released he distracted her by pulling her to the dance floor. They danced far too close to be deemed proper, but everyone was too busy enjoying the wine and their own dance partners to notice.
When it was time to say goodnight to their guests, Ella's mood had drastically soured. The look on her face said it all and he couldn't help but sigh in annoyance. Once they were alone in their chambers, Ella let it all out.
"You're going to kill him aren't you? Just tell me the truth, you owe me that!"
Robb rubbed his tired eyes and sat down next to the bed to pour himself a glass of wine, attempting to stall the inevitable.
Before he could bring the glass to his lips she slapped it out of his hands. Robb watched in shock as it smashed against the wall, sending pieces of glass and wine everywhere.
"What's wrong with you?" He roared as he jumped up from the bed.
"Tell me the truth Robb! What are you going to do with Tyrion? You refuse to speak to me about it, and I've heard rumors you're going to hang him." She shoved him with every word that left her mouth.
Robb's anger took over, and he said the words that he will forever regret.
"Yes, I plan to kill him! Not too sure if I'll hang him or just chop off his worthless head, I think I'll let the Kingslayer choose, since he will have the joy of watching it before I take his head too!"
Ella stumbled back in shock, a noise between a cry and a scream escaping her lips.
Immediately Robb regretted his words, but the look in her eyes had him paralyzed.
She looked at him as if he were a stranger, someone she didn't even know. Someone she didn't want to know.
"Ella," he tried to reach for her but she shrank back before he could touch her.
"No, don't touch me." She looked to the door and he knew what she was planning. Just as she tried to run he frantically grabbed her arm, pulling her back so she couldn't escape.
"Let me go," she cried as he held her. She fought him at first, until she got tired and he managed to get her back onto the bed.
'You've lost her' It was the one thought that went over and over in his mind like a chant as he held her. Her nails dug into his arms, but he ignored the stinging pain as he held tight. He held her as she cried, until she stopped and allowed sleep or utter exhaustion take her.
While she slept beside him, he watched her breathing, counted how many times her body rose and fell. In her sleep, she rested, and he hoped her heart healed from the pain he had caused her. And for the pain he had yet to cause her. Because he would, and he hated himself for it.
One day, he hoped she will forgive him for what he must do.