Author's note: Once again, I got a tad bit carried away with the chapter size. So, I'll be splitting the episode in two again. Also, due to the fact that I have been lacking in the Puckelberry goodness in the last few chapters, I tried a little harder to incorporate some into this chapter. Unfortunately, all the other characters are still demanding all the attention, and it's actually kind of fun spreading out to try and flesh out their roles. So, in conclusion, sorry to all of you that have asked for more Puckelberry.

Music suggestions: 'Never going back again' by Glee Cast, 'Dreams' by Glee Cast, 'Part of me' by Katy Perry.

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee.

Rumours, Part One

Rachel had a perfectly reasonable idea. Since Lauren Zizes had up and stole her man – a fact that still had her fuming and restraining the violent tendencies that had developed over the course of her relationship with her reformed bully of a boyfriend – to play at some attempt to win prom queen, she was dateless. Honestly, what was with that girl's obsession with Noah? Anyway, Finn was going to be accompanying Quinn to the prom, so that meant Sam had no date as well. Rachel didn't understand that one as much as she did Noah and Lauren's pairing. Noah was being forced into the arrangement as a sense of fulfilling a duty...as well as the fact that Lauren could probably smother Noah any time she wished if he reneged on said obligations. Finn and Quinn, however, had no such arrangement.

Which was why Rachel was knocking on Quinn's door Sunday afternoon at a time she knew Quinn would be home from church.

"Rachel?" Quinn said in a surprised tone after opening the door. She was still dressed in a demure blue dress with white-flowers and a simple pair of white flats, presumably the outfit she'd worn to church. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to discuss something with you." Rachel stated upfront. "It's about prom."

"Oh. Well, come in then. I guess." Quinn said after a moment, unsure of what Rachel would have to say. Once the door was closed behind them, Quinn motioned Rachel towards the kitchen. "My mom and I were just finishing up lunch. Would you like something? I think we have enough salad left if you do."

"No, thank you. I ate before I came over." Rachel declined politely, but moved towards the kitchen anyway.

Entering the kitchen, with Quinn right on her heels, Quinn informed her mother who'd been at the door. Before her mom could say anything, Quinn also let her know that Rachel had something tremendously important to discuss with her and asked to be excused.

Moments later, both her and Quinn were safely ensconced in the Fabray's family room and ready to talk.

"I want to know why Finn is taking you to prom instead of Sam." Rachel demanded promptly.

"Wow. Okay." Quinn retorted in a deadpan tone. "I guess we're dispensing with the pleasantries today."

"I know my question is terribly rude, and I apologize." Rachel said in a contrite tone. "As you well know, I tend to be overly blunt. However, this is part of why I came over to talk with you today. Could you please just answer my question?"

Quinn sighed deeply and focused in on her nails. "I can't. Not really, anyway. Sam's...well, he's going through a really tough time now, and prom isn't really all that high on his list of priorities. And since Finn's my king-to-be, we decided to go together instead. For appearances."

"So Sam's not going to prom, at all?" Rachel queried, shock in her tone. "But it's prom!"

"Yeah, boys don't really seem to take it as seriously as we do." Quinn contributed glibly.

"What would you say if I told you I could get him to go?" Rachel asked in a neutral tone.

"Rachel..." Quinn said in a contrived tone, clasping her hands in her lap and turning to face Rachel on the sofa. "I really don't think it would be a good idea to try anything..."

"Just hear me out." Rachel requested with a gleam in her eyes. "And when you hear what I have to say, just know that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship with your boyfriend, okay?"

"I'm sorry?" Quinn asked in a confused, lost tone.

"I want to take your boyfriend to the prom." Rachel stated matter-of-factly.

ooeoooooo*omoooonooooo*

It was a very precarious web she was weaving. A web of manipulation that could blow up in her face at any time, from any angle. There were so many involved, Santana wasn't sure who would be more pissed if they discovered what she was doing and why. Mostly the why. Because really, who pretended to be on the outs with her boyfriend (whom she was really totally into) and played up on her bi-relationship with Brittany (of which she also had genuine feelings for and kind of felt like she was kicking a puppy by pulling such strings) just so Santana could play the "I sort of know how you feel" card with Karofsky and give him a reason to go along with her plan (not that she really cared, but things would be considerably easier rather than simply forcing him into it) to win not only prom queen, but to bring Kurt back, as well.

Mostly to bring Kurt back. Alright, mostly to win prom queen.

It certainly didn't help matters when Brittany innocently insinuated Santana's 100% same team player status on her vapid, overrated online talk show. She'd really been trying to keep it all on the DL. She hadn't really counted on the fact that sometimes, Brit was way too observant of the undertones for her own good. And of course Coach Sue had to pick that week to resurrect the long dead school newspaper and add her fuel to the fire.

Honestly.

As if she didn't have enough problems running her manipulation scheme. It took deadly precision and a jaded, bitchy outlook on life. Along with a need for complete media/gossip blackout.

So, in typical high school fashion, that meant it all went to hell in a hand-basket.

Now the entire school thought she was a closet lesbian, and that wasn't entirely true. Sure, she'd fooled around with Brittany, but that had been while Matt had been away in Nebraska. She liked Matt. She liked him a lot. Hell, maybe she even loved him a little. Brittany, though, had somehow worked her way into Santana's carefully guarded heart as well. And while she was confused as hell, she had authentic romantic feelings for both of them.

She hadn't meant to break up Brit and Artie. That was entirely not her fault. She couldn't help it if Artie was the jealous, overbearing type. And to call Brit stupid (even if he was angry and the comment was spot on) he was dumber than one would think, what with him looking the way he looked and all.

So when Brittany had found her in the hallway after her first period class, sobbing her eyes out, Santana had to console her. Not doing so would actually be worse than kicking a wounded puppy.

And that was part of what led her to the argument she was currently having with aforementioned neglected boyfriend right before she planned on singing "Songbird" to Brittany in an effort to cheer the girl up.

"Why are you doing all this?" Matt demanded, showing an unusually strong outburst of emotion as confusion laced his words.

"Why are you being so in my face about this? It's none of your business!" Santana shot back angrily.

Matt closed the space between them and grabbed her shoulders. "I just want to understand!" Matt shouted back in a helpless aggrieved tone.

"Because I love her too!" Santana admitted with a flare of frustration, at the end of her patience. Covering her mouth with one hand, tears spilled out of her eyes as she turned away. "She was there for me when you weren't. She's the only person that got me, without judgment or question. She made me feel when all I wanted to do was turn into a frigid, emotionless bitch. Now she needs me. I'm not going to let her down...even for you."

"Santana..." Matt murmured in a apologetic tone, the anger draining from his voice. He reached out to her and pulled her back around to face him. He pushed her hair back from her face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. It's just...it feels like you've been pulling away these past couple of weeks. Something's up with you, and you didn't want my help or anything to do with me. You know how I am, San. I didn't know what to do. So, I'm sorry. I'll back off."

Santana nodded her head in response, looking up to the ceiling to swipe a careful finger graze under each eye in an attempt to straighten out her undoubtedly running eye makeup. "This doesn't mean that I don't care about you, you know that, right? She's just in a dark place right now, and I kind of feel like I'm responsible. She needs me. It doesn't mean that I'm breaking up with you, okay?" Santana explained with a watery smile. "You're still my man."

"You could have just told me to begin with." Matt imparted with a soothing tone, holding her close.

"I know." Santana whispered.

oooaooozoo*oonooooo*oouooowoo*

Meanwhile, at the Lima Bean, an extensive yet entirely pointless conversation was being had concerning the week's juiciest gossip topic – Sam Evans.

Gathered around one of the largest tables in the establishment, Tina, Mike, Lauren, Quinn, Finn, Puck, Rachel, and Artie each put in their own two cents on just what was going on behind all of Sam's closed doors.

Puck honestly couldn't care less. He was only there for two things: coffee, and his hot little Jewish-American princess. Someone had to keep her superhuman ability to gossip out of the public eye. For the most part, Rachel was very careful about buying into McKinley cool-aid. But he knew that, as Rachel was female, so was she to gossip. And for reasons unknown to him, she seemed particularly keen to participate this week.

Puck tuned back into the conversation.

"...Maybe he's a serial killer." Tina suggested in an ominous tone, her eyes going wide at her own suggestion as she turned and shared a look with Zizes.

Puck rolled his eyes.

Quinn seemed to be the only voice of reason. "You guys, I'm telling you, Kurt wouldn't cheat on Blaine."

Rachel spoke next. "It's like the Rumours album. Being apart or on the road is hard for two artists. Performers have this "love the one you're with" mentality." At this Rachel swept her arm around the table in a gesture to indicate everyone at the table. "I mean, look at all of us. Look at all the combinations we've had. Finchel, Puckelberry..." When she mentioned their couple moniker, an affectionate smile pulled at her lips and she trailed off, staring at him with undisguised intent.

"Tina Cohen Chang-Chang." Tina chimed in.

"Artittany." Artie added.

"Fuinn." Finn suggested awkwardly.

"Fabrevans." Quinn noted with a tone of finality.

The conversation moved on. Surprisingly enough, Finn was the one to speak. "Guys, we're sitting here squabbling over what? A rumor."

"Finn's right." Rachel agreed wholeheartedly.

Finally, some reason from his usually more sensible half.

"We need more information." Rachel finished in the same tone.

Puck looked to the ceiling, as if seeking counsel from a higher power.

"I don't wanna get into it." Quinn reiterated definitively, capturing and holding Rachel's gaze as she slashed her hand out in a dismissive gesture. Rachel appeared to be temporarily chagrined, as if just remembering that the subject of their gossip was in fact, Quinn's boyfriend. "This is all I'm gonna say...Sam's not gay."

With those parting words, Quinn gathered up her belongings and regally swept out of the building.

All of this over a comment about the most recent blind items in the school's gossip rag. Apparently, everyone's favorite Jewfro had been skulking around a flee-bag motel the night before and had taken a few questionable pictures of Kurt and Sam leaving a motel room together.

Hell, he certainly hadn't jumped to the conclusion that Kurt and Sam were meeting up to get a little on the side, like everyone else. He and Sam weren't exactly close bros, but the guy had talked about chicks in that tone enough to be termed straight in his book. Furthermore, you didn't stare at a girl like Santana because you were interested in her fashion sense or personality. As a heterosexual man, Puck was also guilty of admiring the upgraded funbags attached to Santana's chest. He loved Rachel – and her boobs – but sometimes, you just couldn't help but admire an exceptional work of art such as that.

He was pretty sure that even Mr. Schu hadn't escaped the lure of such temptation, and it had probably been the kernel of truth behind another blind item that involved the words "teacher" and "student affair".

It was like when Rachel couldn't resist ogling Ryan Gosling every time she saw him. He honestly didn't see the attraction, himself, but whatever. It meant you were into the opposite sex, that's all.

The point, he couldn't believe how outrageous it was all becoming, and how anyone could even remotely consider Sam playing on Kurt's side of the fence. They were even dishing it all out right in front of his girlfriend's face, which was just rude. He would know, he kind of wrote the book on how to be a jackass.

This was all going to blow up in their faces, he just knew it.

oooozoooo*oooaoooooo*ooouoooooo

"Rachel, baby, why are you so interested in Sam's business?" Puck ventured, his arm draped over the back of the couch in her TV room, My Fair Lady playing on the large flat screen before them. "You can't possibly be thinking that he's gay, are you?"

Rachel's sigh was full of imposition as she reached for the remote and paused the movie. "I suppose this is as good a time as any to have this conversation." Shifting slightly to angle her body to face his, she reached forward to clasp his hands in hers. "I don't want you to get upset..."

That generally meant that whatever she said was going to make him stratospherically angry.

"I want to know why Sam won't go to the prom with me." Rachel stated carefully yet pointedly.

"You what?" Puck practically shouted, making to shove himself up onto his feet.

Rachel held steadfastly to his hands, causing him to plop back down beside her. "If you would just listen..." Rachel admonished, her own temper simmering. "I have no escort to the prom, seeing as how you've been blackmailed into taking someone else. Or did you forget?"

Puck's anger morphed into a sulk. "I didn't forget."

"It wouldn't be romantic in any way. It would simply be a matter of convenience. I've already discussed it with Quinn, and she appears to be okay with the idea. But no one will tell me why he refuses to take me to prom! From the sound of it, he's not even going! It's prom, Noah. You don't miss such momentous occasions! For any reason!" Rachel prattled emphatically, her hands flying up to assist in her speech.

"Got ya." Puck acquiesced, speaking in a complacent tone and keeping his eyes on hers. "But you don't really think he's gay, do you?"

"What?" Rachel asked with a huff, indignant anger still coursing through her. "No. Of course not. I have two gay dads. I think I would be able to tell if Sam was so inclined."

"Then why didn't you say so earlier at the Lima Bean?" Puck questioned, leaning back into his corner of the couch.

"I'll admit that I got caught up in the moment and my words got away from me." Rachel admitted in a regretful tone. Rachel then twisted her hands in her lap and stared down at them in a fixed way. "I just want to understand what makes me so repulsive that no one can be bothered to escort me to prom, even as a friend."

Puck's gaze softened and he leaned forward to gather her into his arms. Leaning back into his corner, he tugged Rachel into his lap and laid her on his chest. "Hey. Don't be like that. You know I don't think anything remotely like that. And neither does Sam or any of the other guys in glee. Trust me on this, okay?"

Nodding silently against his neck, the self-recrimination Rachel felt refused to ebb.

And because he knew all her little nuances so well at this point, Puck felt obligated to contribute one more thought. "I'll talk to him tomorrow, babe."

"Thank you, Noah."

ooomooo*ooocooooo*ooorooooooo

"Dude, why did you turn down my girl?" Puck asked Sam bluntly the next day as they sat next to each other on the gym floor, warming up for their gym class. "She told me that you told her that she's not your type. You got something against her looks or something?"

"Dude, in case you haven't noticed, she's not my girlfriend. She's yours." Sam replied just as curtly, leaning over his extended legs. "I've got no interest in having the crap kicked out of me."

"Don't give me that bull. You know I have to take Zizes to prom, and I know that you're not taking Quinn because of her and Finn's whole king/queen deal. It's cool with me if you take Rach. Just think of it as an extension of those bodyguard duties I dished out for you back before I got carted off to juvie." Puck continued, squatting into a lunge on his left side.

"I'm not taking her, because I'm not going at all." Sam countered in a firm tone, twisting to one side.

"I don't like the idea of going either, dude, but decisions like these aren't really up to us." Puck advised in a light tone. "You and I both know that Quinn's not the type to just let something like this go without a good reason. Just tell me the real reason why you're not going, and maybe I won't hit you for insulting my girl and hurting her feelings. It's not cool."

"Because I can't afford to, alright?" Sam admitted in a frustrated tone, giving up on stretching and resting his arms on his bent knees. "My dad lost his job a few months back and money's, like, nonexistent tight right now."

Puck stopped stretching as well and studied Sam with judicious eye. "And that's how the rumor got around about you, Kurt, and the motel. That's where you're living now, isn't it?"

"Yeah. We got kicked out of our house a couple weeks ago. Kurt's been helping me out with clothes and stuff. That's why Quinn's going to prom with Finn." Sam explained in a somber tone, staring at his sneakers morosely.

"That really sucks." Puck uttered, with a severe lack of eloquence.

Sam agreed with a barely audible, "Yep."

"You also know that at the rate all these rumors are spreading, you're not gonna be able to keep it all a secret much longer." Puck advised grimly.

"Yep." Sam muttered again.

"I won't hit you for insulting my girl." Puck said in a reprieving tone after a minute of silence.

"Thanks."

ooooxooo*ooomoooo*ooeooooooo

There you go! Might I mention that how super-difficult it was to disassemble and rearrange the Rumours episode into something Puckelberry-esque? Very. So much drama...even for Glee. So, relax. No Finn/Rachel stakeout. No Finn/Quinn jealousy. Which I think makes things run progressively smoother, don't you? Still, there's plenty of drama to be hashed out. So, until next time...