Hey if suicide bothers you, even satirical suicide, then don't read this one.

Though as I said, it's done in satire and is not canon to even this very drabble.

Just a heads up.

The Part Where Corrin Dies

Cast: (Corrin & Anna)
Prompt: Oh no Corrin can't betray either family! She'd better off herself!

"This way!"

"B-big sister?"

"She's my sister!"

"We are your family."

Corrin stared in awe, though her monotone voice betrayed any anxiety she was experiencing.

"Oh. Oh the agony. How could I ever make such a decision?" She could not have sounded less bored even if she were forced to search for typos in every book in Castle Krakenburg's library. "It is just such a painful choice to make. I do not know how I could choose."

"Choose your family, Corrin!" Ryoma called. Xander nodded.

"Yes. We raised you, we gave you a home, friends, and encouraged your growth! We've stood by you for years! That makes us family!"

Corrin robotically shrugged. "I just can't decide. I love all of you so much. It hurts me to make this decision."

The albino princess quickly turned away and poured some water on her face, to replicate crying. She turned back to the others and smiled, pulling out Yato.

"Corrin, what are you doing?!" asked Camilla.

In spite of herself, Corrin still spoke like a machine. "It is too painful to decide. I cannot bear this world any longer. Goodbye my families, I love you all."

Corrin casually plunged Yato into her abdomen.

"Ow."

The deed done, Corrin fell onto the ground.

"Ow again."

Everyone stared in shock, running over to the fallen princess. Xander got off his horse and cradled Corrin dramatically. "Gods, no! Why couldn't it have been me?! WHYYYYYYYYY-" Xander kept going in the background as others began to speak.

"No! She was too good, too pure for this world!" Ryoma lamented.

"B'HOO. …. B'HOO," Camilla cried.

"No! I never got the chance to tell her that I really do consider her family!" Takumi lamented. "Also I may have been ambiguously in love with her and only now realize it."

"-YYYYYY-" Xander was still going.

"This contemptible war…!" Leo cursed. "When will the madness end?!"

Sakura was blubbering inelegantly. She was probably saying something, who really knows?

"Corrin you weren't supposed to go out like this!" Elise was sobbing. "Why Corrin, why?!"

Hinoka was trembling. "No… Noooo!"

"-YYYYYYYYY-"

Jakob walked up to the scene. "Hey, what did I miss?" Then his eyes fell upon the sight of Corrin. "No! Lady Corrin, you can't be dead! Oh wait…" Jakob got closer to Corrin and fell to his knees. "Lady Corrin, you can't be dead! Oh no! Why must the good die young?!"

And on that day, Hoshido and Nohr reached an understanding. Moved by the tragic casual sacrifice Corrin made, Xander and Ryoma agreed to sign a peace treaty. Oh and Garon disappeared or something. I think he just died in his sleep. I dunno, he was old. Like, seriously, he probably remembers when they first invented dirt.

The End.

"Well, what do you think?"

Anna had presented a piece of paper to Corrin for beta reading.

"… Why am I a girl in this?" asked Corrin, the prince.

"Because! I have a sneaking suspicion you'd be even more popular if you were a woman! And it'd be even more sympathetic if you were in that position as a woman, wouldn't it?"

Corrin grimaced. "I… don't think I like the implications of that question. Also, why is the female version of me making such a decision in this story? I… She… We would never do that!"

Anna gestured dramatically. "The pain! The burden! How could one princess-"

"Prince."

"-choose between her two families? It's just too much for her! The world is too cruel!"

"But that wouldn't solve anything!" Corrin protested. "It's not even making a decision, it's just running away from the decision!"

The merchant raised her eyebrow. "Well it's not like you made a decision in real life either, ya know."

"My decision was to not take a side at all."

"Well the Corrin in my play isn't taking a side either!"

The prince looked over the script again. "It just looks like you're making her out to be a martyr."

"No, don't you get it? Everyone's so touched by their sister's sacrifice, it brings them to their senses!"

"There are a lot of reasons why my death wouldn't automatically end that war." The prince gave the merchant a flat look. "One of them being the ancient dragon trying to destroy humanity. By the way, that dragon could control the dead, so I'd probably get used as a pawn like Garon did."

"Well… one never knows…" Anna hawed. "W-what about my prose? How was that?"

"Blunt and as though you weren't even trying."

"Ooh, blunt! I like that! It makes the harshness of the story's world even more effective!"

"Uhh…" Corrin scratched the back of his head. "I actually think it just makes the whole thing look unprofessional, myself." Corrin sighed. "But honestly I'm still upset about the premise. It's just unrealistic! I was admittedly in a dark place that day by the border. But I wouldn't have jumped to something so drastic! Could you even imagine how traumatizing that'd be to all my siblings?"

Anna nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! That's part of the appeal, we get to see how they handle it!"

"But then you cut the story short before you can even truly explore that idea. You get some shock value, but it never amounts to anything."

"That's up to the audience, they get to fill in the blanks themselves!"

"Why, because you can't be asked to follow through on your own idea?"

"Oh everybody's a critic these days!" Anna forcibly took her script back. "You'll eat your words once I get this script published, and audiences around the world are moved to tears by my opera!"

"That was an opera?! But nobody was singing!"

A/N:

I'm really starting to hate the trend of fanart and fanfics where Corrin (usually female Corrin too, weird coincidence) kills herself in Chapter 6 just because she can't hurt either family.

But it's just... nasty. It's just romanticizing suicide, playing it up as some tragic martyrdom, when it's really Corrin just running away from their decision. We already know how Corrin would avoid hurting both families. It's the Revelation route.

Oh and Camilla's crying was based off Nicolas Cage crying in one of his movies. I don't know which one, but search 'Nicolas Cage crying' on Youtube and that's it.

Go to the blog if you have requests.