Chapter 30: All the In-Between

Booth drove them to her apartment, trying the entire way to convince her to go to his instead. Brennan wouldn't hear of it, though she didn't protest when he followed them to her door. Opening it, she was immediately struck by what wasn't there. Blood. She couldn't remember much of what happened after Angie had gone to hide, but she was sure there must have been blood. She glanced at Booth and immediately knew how he'd spent his morning. They walked through the apartment. Angie was back to clutching at Brennan's clothes, but she was determined not to be overly afraid.

When they finished the tour of the house, they made their way back to the front door. Brennan looked at Booth expectantly, waiting for him to walk out of it.

"No way, Bones. I'm staying."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

Brennan scrunched her eyes closed. It was too much. Something had happened in Julie's office when she'd heard about the calls. Then, she'd watched him sitting there, taking care of Angie. He'd come for her. He'd spent all night in a chair beside her bed. He'd cleaned her blood from the floor. It was too much. It had caused...something to happen inside of her. It was wonderful, and frightening, and she didn't know if she could accept it. She did know that she didn't have the energy to think about it now.

"No, Booth, you're not," she said seriously, before looking down at Angie and smiling. "We're independent women, aren't we Angie? We can take care of ourselves."

Angie looked back up at her mother, unsure at first. Then, her eyes sparkled a little as she nodded. "Yep," she said quietly.

Booth and Brennan smiled over the little girl's head. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't want to push, either. He crouched down to tickle Angie. "Come on, Shadow! I thought you'd be on my side." He laughed as she squirmed. "You're becoming too much like your mom, you know that?"

Angie was giggling, as she answered, "Yep!"

Unwilling to argue with the both of them, Booth gave them identical kisses on their foreheads and instructed Brennan to call him if she needed him. He was tempted to spend the night in the hall outside her door, but eventually went home.

oOo

As soon as the door closed behind him, Brennan wanted to call for him to come back. She didn't, though. That wasn't who she was. It wasn't who she would allow herself to be. She smiled down at Angie and saw her own resolve reflected in her little daughter. She couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing. She put it on her list of things to think about later.

She walked to the middle of the living room, Angie clutching at her shirt, beside her all the way. Suddenly she realized that she didn't know what to do. Her concussion, not to mention her little girl, would prevent her from burying herself in work. There was no cleaning to be finished, as Booth had taken care of that. She was at a loss. Scanning the room, her eyes landed on the clock. 6:00 PM. Dinner, she could make dinner. Even better, she could go grocery shopping, then come back and make dinner Pleased that she had found a way to keep them both occupied, Brennan quickly helped Angie change out of her stained dress, and together they headed to the store. Each of them hoped the other didn't realize how relieved she was to be leaving the apartment.

oOo

Once again, Brennan and Angie stood together washing dishes. Comfort food had seemed appropriate, so Brennan had made macaroni and cheese. She was struck by the parallels between this night and Angie's first night in her home. Except, tonight she was having a more difficult time keeping painful memories at bay. If it wasn't Hacker, it was her foster parents, the Crawfords. Her hands were literally trembling as she tried to dry the dishes without breaking one. Angie was watching her carefully, so Brennan kept a smile plastered to her face, hoping the little girl couldn't see beyond it. She just wanted to make it through this night. If she made it through this night, she would make it through every other night. And really, what choice did she have?

She lifted Angie off the chair she stood on to help with the dishes and carried her to the bath. She went through the living room, through the hall, past her office. She tried to keep her breathing even, tried not to think about the day before. She filled the tub with warm water and lavender bubbles before helping Angie climb in. After a little while, she came back with a towel to dry her off. For the first time in a long time, Brennan focused on the scars covering the little girl's body. The small, pink circles marring her smooth, dark skin.

That first night, Angie had dared her not to flinch, and Brennan had risen to the challenge. Tonight was different. Tonight wasn't the first night, and they were no longer strangers. Brennan looked at those marks on her daughters skin, the ones that had been left by cigarettes, and all she could think about was how they would never go away. She flinched.

Angie had never stopped watching her. She was following her mother's lead. If her mother wasn't going to be afraid, then neither was Angie. If her mother thought they could take care of themselves, then so did Angie. If her mother was going to tough out this night, then so would Angie.

It wasn't just her anymore, there was also Angie. She wrapped her daughter up tightly in the fluffy towel and carried her to her bedroom. Brennan was already in pajamas, and she quickly dressed Angie in hers. She grabbed a duffle bag and started tossing clothes and toiletries in it. She grabbed her keys off the hook and took her daughter's hand.

"We don't have to do this tonight. This doesn't have to be who we are."

oOo

He didn't exactly expect it, but he had certainly hoped for it, the knock at his door around bedtime. His response should have been worry, because they wouldn't be here, these two pajama-clad Brennans, unless something was wrong...but he couldn't help it. Happiness, relief, contentment- they were all he had space to feel.

He opened his door wide, and flipped Shadow over his shoulder, as though there were nothing at all out of the ordinary about this scene. She laughed in the way only he could make her, and he carried her toward his bedroom. Pausing in the hallway, he looked back at her mother. "You coming, Bones? I have a huge bed, and I've been waiting for the chance to have a sleepover." She rolled her eyes and smirked at him, but he didn't care, because he knew that she was also following him.

Once they made it to the room, he playfully tossed Angie in the middle of the bed, then lovingly tucked her in. Brennan stood in the doorway, looking unsure. Booth smiled at her and took the duffle bag from her hands. Rummaging around in it for a moment, he pulled out what he was trying to find. He held up a copy of Angie's Harry Potter, then walked back toward the bed and climbed in beside the little girl. Wrapping her in his arms, he began to read.

Again, after everything, Brennan still found herself unable to do anything but watch. It looked so right, and Booth always knew exactly what to do. No matter what happened, though, Brennan was never sure exactly where she fit. So, she watched. She listened as he read about a little boy who found friends in places he never expected. She watched and listened until Angie turned to her, eyelids drooping, and motioned for her to join them, as though she were puzzled by why she hadn't already. Brennan climbed in on the other side of the little girl, snuggling close to her. Booth nudged his foot against hers, then continued the story.

Before they'd even made it through a single chapter, Angie was sleeping soundly. Booth closed the book quietly, then reached over to turn off the small bedside lamp. Both he and Brennan settled into their pillows as their eyes began to adjust to the dark. The lay, staring at the ceiling in the dark, trying yet again to figure out how not to waste this chance.

Surprising even herself, it was Brennan who spoke first, softly, so as not to disturb Angie. "I was so, so scared." She had decided to start with the truth.

Booth turned his head toward her. "Me too. It was the worst day, the worst thing I've ever experienced."

"You saved Angie. I couldn't figure out how."

"You saved Angie, Bones. I just told her to hide, you gave her time."

"You came."

"Not in time. You're alive either because Hacker was a really ineffective serial killer, or because Sweets was right, and he had some sort of crazy, messed up master plan. I couldn't get there in time."

"Booth," Brennan turned to face him, her eyes piercing in the darkness, "you came, and I'm still here."

He didn't respond. He was back to being unable to grab the right words.

She swallowed. "I'll never be able to repay you, that's what I keep thinking. There's no way for us to ever be even."

"Bones," his quiet words were rough with emotion, "that's not what we do."

This time, she was the one unable to to grab onto the right words. Completely without her permission, a phrase she remembered from long ago, maybe from a wedding, kept running through her mind. Love keeps no record.... She mentally cursed the concussion that kept her from controlling her thoughts. It was almost enough to send her fleeing from his bed, his apartment, his life. It was that frightening...but he was right, and she told him so. "I know."

He turned his face back toward the ceiling; he didn't want to scare her with his smile. He could tell from her tone that not everything was well. There was something going on in that head of hers, something she was holding onto that kept her from falling. He knew that, for now, there was so much more between them than just the little girl in the bed...but he also knew that there wouldn't always be. He could tell. So he smiled, anticipating the day when she knew it as well.

"Thank you , Booth."

"Anytime, Bones."

TBC