A New Beginning
Chapter 36-Grief is the worst pain
Justins POV
Shes gone. I lost her and she's gone. Theres nothing I can do. Ive lost the woman I love and I'm never, ever going to get her back. The pain in my heart is slowly suffocating me. I feel like I'm dying slowly and painfully. I grief is eating me from the inside out.
I'm yet to tell Sophia. I don't want to. I never, ever want to tell my daughter that she will never see her Mother again. At Sophia's age, she won't take it well. She's only five years old. She cant live without her Mother. How could she?
I couldnt bring up a little girl on my own. I couldn't go through all of the teenage years without Alyssa helping me through it. I wouldn't be able to handle any of it. I wouldnt be able to cope. Alyssa helped me through life. She helped me through everything. When my parents were abusing me and throwing me around, Alyssa was there by my side every second of it. Telling me that everything was going to be okay, which was true. Everything was perfect.
If it wasn't for Daniel... that dick head ex of Alyssa, I would still have my wife. He set fire to my house trying to kill my daughter to get revenge but instead, he killed my wife. After the fire I thought... I thought everything was going ot be okay again. I thought we were going to get back on track slowly but surely. I thought that even though we were homeless with a five year old girl, we were going to be okay with the help of our family. But no. Alyssa was brave and saved Sophia from the fire. But she fell of the roof. Onto gravel. It was slowly killing her in hospital. I just didn't know I was going to loose her so soon.
Sitting in the waiting room now, thinking about how much joy Alyssa has brought to my life, the grief got worse. Alyssa gave me the best gift I could ask for. She gave me a child. She gave me love. She gave me everything she could. She tried her best for me and I didnt. I let her go into that house. I saw her run inside the burning building as she tried to save our daughter and I just lay on the floor like a rag doll. I let myself pass out when I could have got up to save her. To stop her. Or to help her save our daughter.
Doctors and nurses pass me, giving me guilty and saddened looks. They may want to know what Im feeling but they will never, ever know how this feels. I dont care if they have lost anyone. Nobody could feel wrose than how I feel right now. The pain was eating me alive. I wanted it to. I couldnt live like this. Being without my wife. Being without the woman I love. I just.. I just couldnt.
Tears fell down my cheeks at a mad speed. Ever since they told me two hours ago, the tears havent stopped falling. They fall for Alyssa. They fall for her sake. Tears of love and grief. For Alyssa. Everything I do now is for her. I dont want to do anything for anyone else anymore. Not even Sophia. Just Alyssa. Just my wife.
'Mr. Smith?' Said a voice from the waiting room door. I looked up to see a woman dressed in a long white gown. Her white hair was up in a neat bun on top of her head and she had two guards either side of her. I wiped my eyes and stood up, staring at the woman.
'I'm very sorry to hear about Aly-' The woman began but I cut her of straight away. I really wasn't ready for the sorry's yet.
'Don't.' I snap. 'Who are you?' I was in no mood to be polite to anyone. Although this woman did look very important.
'My name is Amelie. I am the founder of Morganville.' Normally, I would say sorry for being so rude to some sort of queen. But I just lost my wife and I was in no mood for saying sorry to anybody. Apart from Alyssa. For her, I am sorry.
'I heard about Alyssa's death. It is an extreamly sad time for you and your family. I know Claire, her Mother. And if I know Claire then I know that her daughter must have been an absolute honor to have around. Which is why I am going to offer you something that you may want to turn down but if you do, you could never see your wife again.'
The womans face stayed expressionless through the whole of her little speech. She walked over to me and sat down on the chair next to the one that I was sitting on.
'What are you talking about?' I yell. I was about to burst into tears again. 'Alyssa is dead! I will never see her again!'
'I could do something.' Amelie says. Her hands were clasped in her lap and she looked at me with her still eyes. She didnt look like she was joking but this seemed like one sick joke. How could you bring back a person who died hours ago? You just cant. Its impossible.
'I know what you are thinking.' The woman says. 'But you know what Morganville holds, don't you?'
'Vampires.' I say with a dull tone. Then I realise. I realise what could happen. What could happen to make me have my wife back. I had no idea how I felt about that, to be honest.
'Yes. Vampires. You know what I can do? What I have the power to do?'
'Yes.' I say in the same tone. I knew what she was going to offer. I knew. I just didnt know if I wanted it.
'Do you realise that I could bring your wife back?'
'But you dont bring her back.' I say, gritting my teeth. 'You bring a different person back.'
'But it will still be the same Alyssa. The same woman you married.'
'But she will be a vampire!' I screamed. One of Amelie's guards put his hand on my arm and squeezed. A silent warning.
'Yet she will still be here. She will be able to bring up your daughter along by your side. Is that not what you want?'
'Of course its what I want.' My voice was calm now and I felt tears rolling down my eyes. 'Its all I want. Sophia needs her Mother with her.'
'Then that settles it then. Charles..' Amelie turns to face one of her guards. 'Find out where Alyssa Smith has been taken then come back to tell me. Make sure she is in a room that doesn't need caring for. This is going to get messy.'
'Wait! I didn't say...' The guards were already gone with Amelie following. What had I done?!
Sorry its short but I had to get this chapter so I could move the story on. What do you think?! Please review!xxxx