Corpse Party

Memory Loss and Blood Spill

Chapter 34 – The Aftermath

~The hill in town, Yosuhei's POV~

Time was standing still. Nothing around me mattered anymore. Not even myself. All around me life was moving on, animals and humans was moving further and further towards their final destination. But ever since I had escaped with the others from Heavenly Host, I was frozen in place. Lifeless. A person with a life without meaning.

It had been months ever since we escaped. I never thought I could get more unhappy than the moment I found Seiko hung in that stall. Turned out I was wrong. Every day ever since, I had cried. Bawled my eyes out, begging the gods to let Seiko come back to me. I basically asked for the impossible to happen, to resurrect the dead.

I never thought you could feel this miserable. That the pain of losing someone precious could feel this horrible. And the fact that no one around me accepted her as being real, only added to the top of the already big pile of despair and hatred I felt.

I had lied there on that hill for three whole days now. I hadn't even got home to have dinner with Seiko's father and siblings. I couldn't feel any hunger, no physical pain, not anything from the outside. Everything I could feel was my own psychological pain and despair.

I wanted to die. A life as empty as this was not worth living. I didn't want to see anyone, I just wanted to wallow in my own little pit of despair. I didn't care about anything else. Not my friends, not the world outside. Nothing mattered anymore.

Not even my own life.

I wanted to see her so badly. She was the only thing I thought about all day. Her, her, and only her. No one else meant anything to me anymore. The longer I spent in that empty, sorrowful, stupid world, the more hollow I got. It felt like a void was opening up from within me, and was beginning to swallow me whole.

And to be honest, I would have welcomed it.

I wanted my pain to end. I wanted to die. I wanted to be by her side again. I didn't want her to be lonely. I was sure that if darkening had been part of that world, I would have been lost and insane a long time ago. I wasn't even sure if I hadn't lost my sanity already. I mean, I had been lying on the same hill for three days straight now, not thinking of anything than Seiko and my own pain and despair.

I had probably gone crazy already, and frankly, I didn't care. Before I had gone out here, I had stayed with Seiko's family the last few months, but even then I hadn't spoken a word. I knew that people were worried about me, but I didn't want to see them. I just wanted to make up with my self if I should end my pain here and now… or move on, through the pain and anguish.

I just couldn't accept it. The world was asking me to pretend that Seiko and the others never existed. How am I supposed to do that from one day to the next?

I lied there on top of the hill, hollow and still. I just wanted to end everything, right then and there. And I didn't know why I hadn't already. In my left hand was a kitchen knife I had stolen from the kitchen of Seiko's house. To my right lied a bottle filled with sleeping pills.

I had lied there for hours and thought of nothing. just stared up at the clouds with hollow eyes. I had come here because I knew no one else knew of this place. I wanted to make a decision for myself, not letting anyone else take it for me.

I looked down at the knife in my hand, a tear rolling down my cheek. This was it. I could just slid my own throat, gulp down the pills and get it over with. It would only hurt for a moment before I could sleep in slowly and peacefully.

I slowly brought the knife up to my throat, my hand shaking more and more the closer the blade got to my skin. I pressed it slowly against my neck. I only had to jerk my hand forward. That was it. Do it. DO IT!

With a scream of fear and anxiety I pulled the knife away again, my body shaking violently all over from fear as I tossed the knife away.

"WAaaahh…." I screamed loudly and cried "SEIKO!"

I couldn't take this pain anymore. But I wasn't brave enough to finally end it. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

I cried stronger and louder than I ever had before. My anguish and terror would never stop, I was convinced now. I would never be able to move on from what happened. It would forever serve as a permanent scar on my sanity. I could never get my old life back. No matter how hard I wished for it to come back.

I sighed silently as my eyes was emptied of tears and I dried them off with the back of my hand. I looked up at the sky silently, thinking about the fate that Seiko had to go through.

I knew that her spirit was forever lost. I just wanted to be there for her. I didn't see how I deserved to live, while she had to die in that place, and experience that horrible pain forevermore. I just couldn't see the difference. I should have been killed there too. Then at least I could experience that pain with her, and be there for her.

I just couldn't bear the thought of the endless pain her soul must be going through, and that I could never go back there again. I had even attempted the ritual by myself before, but it never worked. I realized that the ritual only worked when I had a partner, and I knew that whomever I would ask of my friends, they would all try to talk me into sense.

I sighed and looked around me. This hill was a special memory for the two of us. It had been where he had had our first and last date together. She had smiled so brightly back then, and we had managed to make so many wonderful memories together in the few months I knew her.

I needed to get away from here. It had become too painful to stay here any longer. I picked myself off the ground with a choked sob and ran down the hill as fast as I could without tumbling to the ground. As soon as I hit the foot of the hill I slowed down to a walk and continued down the road.

I soon reached the local city and I sighed silently as I looked around at the people around me. Everything seemed to pass me in a blur. All around me people were moving on with their lives, in wonderful naivety that the world had light left in it.

My trip to that hellish school had opened my eyes. I knew that the world would never become bright again. I was trapped in a dark world, with a dark life that I no longer wanted to live. And still I stayed here. Why? Why couldn't I just leave?

I wasn't able to finish it on the hill, with that knife or those pills. But why?

"Now that I think about it…" I mumbled quietly, a few pedestrians looking at me weirdly from my mumbling "I'm pretty sure I left that stuff up there…. Tch, who cares?"

I continued down the street and realized I was passing the street where Satoshi and Yuka lived.

"How are they doing I wonder?" I mumbled as I looked down their street.

As I was about to pass over the road and leave their street behind, I bumped into someone and fell back on my back. I groaned softly from pain and looked up to see who I had bumped into. Of course, who else would it be other than one of my friends, Satoshi and his sister.

"Y-Yosuhei?" he mumbled in surprise as I fell "A-Are you okay?"

I jumped back onto my feet before he could reach for me and backed away repulsively.

"I-I´m fine Satoshi" I mumbled, maybe a bit too harsh.

I looked down at Yuka and she looked up at me with a worried expression, hiding herself behind her brother like she usually did when she was nervous or afraid. I didn't get it though. Why would she be like that about someone she knew?

"Jesus dude, are you seriously okay?" He asked as he took a step forward "You look like you haven't slept for days!"

"I haven't actually" I mumbled dryly as I looked away "Look, just leave me alone okay? I'm fine"

"You and I both know that's bullshit Yosuhei" Satoshi said with a stern voice.

Tch, why did he have to be so nosey? I told him twice already that I was fine!

"Satoshi, seriously" I mumbled as I rubbed my temples in irritation "I really don't want to put up with this today okay?"

"Come on man, tell me what's wrong" Satoshi said as he walked over to me "Come home with us, and we can talk about it"

"No! I told you, I'm fine!"

I realized my voice was climbing to a yell but, again, I didn't care. Why wouldn't he get it and leave me alone!?

I was taken a bit aback when Yuka whimpered and hid behind Satoshi in surprise to my yelling. I didn't want to hurt them, but I really just needed some time to be alone.

"Yosuhei, I'm not taking no for an answer" Satoshi said sternly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders "You need help, and to be social. You need to be with your friends"

"Dude, leave me alone!" I yelled even louder, trying to get away from his grip "I've just not been sleeping that well lately okay?"

"Come on, just come home with us" Satoshi said with a smile "Naomi, and the others are there too. They are all missing you"

I was about to raise my voice and protest again but I realized it wouldn't have any effect. I quieted down and sighed silently as I let them lead me down the street and towards their house.

As we reached the front door I politely stepped out of my shoes as we stepped inside.

"Mom, we have another guest!" Satoshi yelled as he and Yuka stepped inside their house.

I was a bit reluctant to come inside with them, and I even considered to just run by now, but I threw off my shoes and stepped into the living room with Satoshi and Yuka. When I got inside the living room I was firstly greeted by Satoshi's mother, who smiled widely and hugged me by the nexk with one arm, as she held a tray with a massive chocolate cake in the other.

"Good to see you Yosuhei" She said warmly.

I blushed a little and was taken aback by the openness of her gestures and I silently hugged her back before we pulled apart.

"You too Ms. Mochida" I said with a small smile as I looked around at the others "Hey guys"

Everyone greeted me with a wave or a nod, though most of them were pretty quiet. I guess they really had been worried about me, though I didn't think I deserved their worry.

I smiled softly as I sat down beside Ayumi with Yoshiki on her other side, and she immediately hugged me.

"Good to see you again Yosuhei" She said with a shy smile.

"Oi, you trying to steal my girl Yosuhei?" Yoshiki said with a smirk.

I chuckled softly and rolled my eyes. I was already feeling a lot better than before. I had forgotten why I didn't want to be with these amazing people.

"No, I'm not" I said with a smile "Though you better watch out if anyone else does"

"huh!? What's that supposed to mean!?" He asked as he shot glares at both me and Ayumi.

Everyone laughed and time passed. My depression was pushed back in my mind, and the presence of my friends helped. We talked, and talked, and when Satoshi's parents weren't around we even talked about our regrets and our mistakes about Heavenly Host. Of course we all regretted that the people we loved were dead, but I felt talking it out with my friends helped me at least accept to move on.

Ever since the first day I met them, my friends had been people I could trust. They had been people that could cheer me up when I was down. They were people who I depended on, and who depended on me, and we would always help each other in tough times.

Everyone regrets every once in a while. And I am safe to say, I had regretted a lot ever since I had appeared at the first time in that classroom. I didn't know if I was happy or despaired that I had met these people. But I now believed that it was at least these people that was supposed to pull me out of my despair.

If I ever wanted to experience happiness, or something at least close to a normal life, I had to trust and depend on my friends around me. They would always be there for me, that's what they were trying to tell me. And I was happy for that. I felt like I had to repay them somehow, and the best way I could think of, was to be there for them too.

I was happy we could help each other move on. I knew it would take time, but I was sure that it was possible. And moving on didn't necessarily mean forget, cause I knew that was never possible for any of us. But at least we could move on and grow into proper people.

I didn't have many choices in this situation. I needed to go back to Seiko's family, and say sorry for disappearing all of a sudden. I could always have something close to a normal life with them, and I knew that I would always be welcome in the family.

They were good people, and I no longer knew why I had abandoned them. Now it sounded stupid to be all by myself when so many wonderful people wanted to help me. So I decided I would accept their help and move on. I knew it would be tough, but I needed to move on, or I could never be happy again.

The get-together began to thin out and soon I was all by myself again in the couch, besides Satoshi and Yuka of course. I smiled softly as I looked at Yuka, who had lied her head on my shoulder and fallen asleep a while ago. I rubbed her head and hair with my hand softly before leaning her against the back of the couch and standing up.

"I need to go too Satoshi" I mumbled as I fistbumped him with a smile "Thank you for today man"

"I told you, you needed to be around us" He said with a snicker "And cheer up alright? Just come to us if you feel like talking"

"I will"

I smiled and waved back at Satoshi as I walked into the entranceway, bumping into Ms. Mochida on the way out.

"Oh, hi Ms. Mochida" I said with a smile as I bowed "Thank you for having me here"

"Oh please, just call me Miho" She said with a smile "And it was good to have you and your friends here. Come back any time, alright?"

"I will, thank you" I said again, before bowing "Say thanks to Mr. Mochida for me, okay?"

"I will" She said with a snicker "See you later Yosuhei"

I nodded and turned away from her before walking out into the street. I was a bit surprised when I saw that Naomi was still waiting for me outside. I smiled at her silently and gestured for her to walk along. She followed me along down the street.

"Are you okay Yosuhei?" She asked worried as she squeezed my shoulder.

I looked back at her with a silent smile and a sigh.

"I will be Naomi" I said as I looked at her "I just need some time to think about things"

"I understand" she said with a smile "Just know that we're here for you alright? You can talk to us if you need to, and if anything is wrong, come to us, and we'll have a talk about it"

"Thanks Naomi"

We continued on in an awkward silence for a while, until we reached a crossroad. Naomi turned right and looked back at me with a smile.

"Cheer up alright?"

I nodded softly as an answer. I was too tired to do anything else, and I just wanted to go home and get some sleep for the first time in three days.

She smiled and waved before crossing the road and walking out of sight.

I arrived back at Seiko's home and her dad and siblings immediately surrounded me from all sides.

I smiled softly and tried to console them all, apologizing for disappearing.

I sighed and lied down on my bed in what had been Seiko's room before we were trapped in Heavenly Host. In this time, it had turned into a room that Seiko's father had made specifically for me, when I turned up at their home.

I sighed a little and stared up at the ceiling. I had always called this place Seiko's house, even after she had disappeared and died. The world wanted it to be MY home now.

Though I was positive that it would always be Seiko's as well.

"I love you Seiko…" I mumbled quietly, before my eyes got too heavy, and I fell asleep.

~The end~

Hey guys! I'm sorry to say it, but this is the last chapter, at least of this story.

I'm sorry to declare this so suddenly, but I have so many other ideas I want to bring out to the world, but I can't keep up with all the work if I had to just keep piling all the stories on top of one another.

So this week is the last of Corpse Party – Memory Loss and Blood Spill.

I hope you guys enjoyed to read it till the end. See you in the future guys.