A/N: Thanks for bearing with me. I know it took much, much longer than I planned to put this chapter up, and frankly, I will be surprised and delighted to learn that anyone is still paying attention. I do have an ending in mind, and it is close. Next up, time to get the ladies back to New York!

Chapter 35

Stung by Alex's comment and its obvious implications, Olivia leaned forward on the table. "You know exactly what I was doing there," she said, fighting to keep her voice even. "I saw a chance for us to be together again, and I took it."

"You knew when you went to the hotel room that you were going to kill him, didn't you?" The words left Alex's mouth a statement rather than a question.

"I knew no such thing," Olivia protested, her eyes wide in shock. "And you can stop treating me like I'm a fucking suspect on the stand, Alex."

Alex's expression grew hard, and she turned her gaze to the kitchen window, unable to meet Olivia's eyes.

"What the hell is this?" Olivia exclaimed.

"Just trying to get answers, Olivia," Alex said, feigning calm. "You'll be answering them for IAB soon enough, so maybe we should think about what you'll say."

"Go over my testimony?" Olivia's expression was now as stony as her girlfriend's.

Alex said nothing, but rolled her eyes in exasperation. She was perfectly aware of how ridiculous they were both being, but had absolutely no intention of admitting the same.

Olivia sighed. She had not expected to have to explain herself to Alex, but if that's what it took, she would do it. "Look, Alex, I knew Cesar Velez was there, and I knew I wasn't going to let him leave. Yes, I knew there was a possibility I'd have to…" Her voice trailed off, a pained expression on her face. "I was hoping that I could help set him up, make the FDA's job a little easier."

"They weren't going to just let him-" Alex started.

Olivia interrupted. "They were going to let him leave the hotel, and how did I know he wasn't going to slip away again? They've supposedly been tracking him for years and hadn't gotten any closer to bagging him, damn it. It was a risk I took, Alex. It could have gone the other way, and-"

"And it almost did!" Alex cried, her collected expression finally crumbling as she lost her ability to stop the tears from falling. "You were almost killed!"

"But I'm okay," Olivia reminded her, fighting tears of her own.

"You might have died and I would never have known, Liv," Alex stared at the hands she had folded neatly on her lap. "I wouldn't have…" She closed her eyes and fought for composure as Olivia knelt in front of her.

"Alex," Olivia whispered, the name crossing her lips reverently. "You're angry about so many things, Baby – I know that." Using the table as leverage, she rose to her feet and leaned against the table mere inches from the other woman. "You have a lot to be angry about. We both do. We lost a lot." She began to stroke Alex's hair gently. "But we're getting it back now, Sweetheart. We're going to figure it out."

Alex wiped gently at her tears, and then looked up to meet Olivia's eyes. "Are you scared?" Her voice came out a choked whisper.

"About us?" Olivia asked. When Alex nodded silently, Olivia nodded as well. "Sure I am. I don't know of any other couple who were forced to spend the first several years of their relationship apart."

"I don't know if we know how to be together," Alex confessed, looking apologetic when she engaged in the decidedly unladylike action of blowing her nose on a nearby napkin. "I mean… we can't even choose a place to live…"

"Well, maybe it is too soon," Olivia murmured, thoughtfully. She lifted her thumb to Alex's chin and rubbed gently. "For living together, I mean. Maybe you should get a place of your own for a little while, and I'll stay in my little tenement at least until the lease expires."

Alex laughed, and shook her head slowly. "Do you want that, Liv?"

"No," Olivia admitted, smiling sheepishly. "I don't want to let you out of my sight, Alex." She looked at Alex, and was pleased to see a smile on her lips and love twinkling in her blue eyes. "But I don't want to lose you by trying to go from having nothing to having everything overnight, either. We have something special, but it's pretty fragile right now. Why risk breaking it?"

Alex was silent for a moment, and then placed her hand in Olivia's and rose to stand beside her at the table. "Okay," she finally said. "I'm not worried – I know we'll have it all someday, and I want to make sure we're ready for it when we get it."

Olivia exhaled slowly, and placed her hand against the small of Alex's back, gently rubbing until she felt Alex relax against her. She felt soft lips against her neck, and knew the deal had been sealed.

"Alex," she said, softly, a playful smile tugging slightly at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah?" Alex asked, still kissing softly at Olivia's throat.

"When the time comes and we know that we're ready to have it all," Olivia said, arching an eyebrow, "I'll live with you in Buckingham Palace, if that's what you want."

Alex grinned widely, and held her tight.