Omake B
It finally clicked today that omakes are supposed to be short and cute or funny. What I had been writing is actually none of these things- possibly cute, possibly funny, but definitely not short. Hence why we now have this!
Oh, what's this, it seems that this chapter comes to you from the past!
How to train your Baby:
Ah, is that a baby I see? Well, well done to you! Now there are many different ways to train your baby, there is:
Luce styled:
"Ah, Well done Tsunayoshi! That's it keep on coming."
*Thump*
"Ah that's fine Tsunayoshi. Let's just try again, ne?"
"Good boy! Who's a good boy? You are, yes you are! Tsunayoshi's a good boy!"
"Now just let go of the table, good boy! Yes and one more, and another and-"
*thump*
"Tsunayoshi dear, you can't keep hold of the table the whole time, you've got to let go sooner or later."
"Tsunayoshi, let go of the table"
"Tsunayoshi, let go of the table"
"Tsunayoshi, let go of the table"
"Tsunayoshi, let go of the table"
Fon's way:
"He'll get it eventually. Good things come to those who wait. Maybe he's just a late bloomer"
*others leave the room*
"Now raise your arms like this for balance"
"Here, hold onto my arm and then we'll try again"
*thump*
"Perseverance is key Tsunayoshi"
Skull's attempt:
"Haha! Tsunayoshi, this is the easiest thing in the world to do! It's so easy that I had to spice it up a bit to put it into my stunts… Although it's not really a stunt."
"Oh, but don't actually try to do it like that Tsunayoshi, you have to be trained like me, the great Skull from Hell, Bwahahaha!"
"Not that you aren't great too Tsunayoshi! And everyone needs to start from the basics."
"Wow, You're good at this aren't you Tsunayoshi? Go on, keep going. You're nearly there!"
*thump*
"Waah! Tsunayoshi are you alright? You're not hurt are you? Didn't break anything? Bruise anything? Err, twist your ankle? Oh god, please don't start crying. Tsunayoshi everything's going to be alright. Um, don't panic Skull, don't panic. Oh god he's going to cry. Waah, Luce, Luce! Tsunayoshi fell over and, and... It's not my fault pleasedon'tkillme!"
Verde's Methodology:
"This won't take 5 minutes. It's a natural and ingrained ability created through natural survival instincts. Simple"
"You just… just… That is indeed strange. One forgets how to since it becomes natural. However it is obvious that at some point one does learn the skill, since it is clear that whilst I have it, you do not. How to explain…?"
"Basically the crural limb, this bit here, moves in a pendulum fashion forwards, pivoting at the acetabulofemoral joint, this bit here. The pedis makes contact with the ground before a backward pendulum movement is initiated. At this point in time, the alternate pedis starts the procedure for the forwards pendulum movement. And we stop there since we are Bipedal creatures. The double pendulum movement is repeated by both pedis until one wants to stop."
"Hmm, maybe it would be better to create some sort of robotic aid to help force the movement?"
*Tsunayoshi sits on Verde's lap, gurgling away happily, holding onto whatever tool Verde hands to him. Verde only barely remembers that a lit blow torch is not the best tool to hand to an infant who likes to wave things in the air.*
Viper's Process:
"You are going to have to pay me for this you know. And My time doesn't come cheap."
"Ah, I'll add it to your tab then"
"Hmm, a small illusion should do to get his body used to the movement."
"Tsunayoshi, look, you can still hold onto that 'bar'. Don't look at it strangely; it's not going to harm you."
"That's fine, keep on coming. Just keep on holding onto the 'bar'."
*thump*
"Look it's only me and you, so it doesn't matter how many times you fall down. I'm not going to laugh at you."
*thump*
"I know you've fallen down quite a few times now. But please, try once more, just for me?"
"Heh, Good boy. Thank you."
Reborn's training:
"Tsunayoshi, see this cookie?"
*a nod*
"Do you want this cookie?"
*another nod*
"Well go and get it then"
"Leon, take this and be a toy lorry. Run around or something. Just don't leave the room. Luce says I need to watch over the brat"
*thunk, thump*
"Look, crying is no way to handle yourself. It's not going to get you anywhere. Do you want that cookie?"
*a teary nod*
"Do you want that cookie with your dying will?"
*a less teary nod*
"Then go and get it. Don't let a simple chair get in your way. If you fall, stand back up again and don't stop until you have that cookie"
*Eventually, many falls later, Tsunayoshi gets the cookie*
"Good work"
Colonnello's Version:
"Ahahaha, Today will be the day you master it Tsunayoshi, kora! I'm sure of it. We've just gotta believe it"
*thump*
"Woah, nothin' to worry about. Let's just pick you up and we'll try again"
*thump*
"Haha, keep on trying little man."
*thump*
"You really like the floor don't cha, kora? Once more"
*thump*
"Now look, kora. Don't you want to show Lal what a big boy you are? So we're gonna try this one more time, and you're going to try really really hard to impress her, right."
*thump*
"*sigh* It's a good thing Lal's not watching you. You know what we need? A break. Let's try again tomorrow, kora"
Lal's regime:
"Do it!"
*thump*
"I did not tell you to fall over Tsunayoshi. Again."
*thump*
*cha-chink*
"Get up on your feet and start moving, you pathetic excuse for a child, before I blow your feet from under you!"
"That's better. Now we're going to go all around the house without you falling over once. If you can't do it, you aren't eating tonight"
This was the first instance where they find out Tsunayoshi has perfect balance when in a dangerous situation
And finally the Bermuda Method (I know he wasn't around then, but I haven't done a lot with him yet and I had this idea)
"Line Up!"
*Every Vindice Guard lines up before him*
"Today we are going to teach Tsunayoshi the most basic fundamental"
"I want you to spread out around the Vendicare Mansion and extend your chains until they nearly touch each other. However, the gap between each chain should gradually extend each time. This way he can get used to the distance unaided slowly."
"Understood?"
"Tsunayoshi, we're going for a walk around the Mansion, we've got to find Natsu haven't we. Look, those chains will help you, so just use them to keep your balance with."
*thump*
"Tsunayoshi, where's Natsu? We've got to find him right?"
We hope you fine this guide informative!
I had this idea suddenly. Can you guess what they are teaching Tsunayoshi?
…
…
…
…
It's how to walk. I'd imagine they all would have different ways of trying to teach Tsunayoshi how to walk.
With Verde, those are the scientific names for (in order) the Leg, the Hip joint and the foot. Bipedal simply means we walk on two feet not four.
I can imagine Skull getting worried every time Tsunayoshi falls over (aka *thump*). Of course Lal would go Spartan and pull a gun on Tsunayoshi (aka *cha-chink*). Colonnello was about to go Spartan on Tsunayoshi but stopped himself. I had this idea of Reborn tricking Tsunayoshi into doing it himself. In this case he's chasing after Leon, but then walks into a chair and starts to cry. My other idea was one of those Donkey Carrot things dangling the cookie in front of Tsunayoshi. He'd keep running forwards, yet the cookie would always be the same distance away from him, and he'd run into a wall or something. It sounds like something Reborn would pull. And the image of Bermuda using every Vindice officer just to teach Tsunayoshi to walk was quite funny in my head. I don't think their chains are supposed to be used like that, lol.
So the next chapter will finish off this arc, and is actually what I was writing before hand.
See you there!
Phantom Hitman 1412
First Published 19 July 2012.