Author's note: May I express my thanks for sticking with me. This chapter tied me up and gave me a beating. I carried a notebook everywhere I went for the last twenty-three days. Every break I took at work revolved around this, every time I drove somewhere in the car I tried to imagine this chapter. I wrote dozens of pages that ended up being nothing more than an exercise to figure out what everyone was thinking. I even started working on it during a particularly dull patch during a bridal shower this last weekend (backfired, a bunch of people came over because I looked sad-kind of a hard thing to explain.). Good news is, this is a long one--longest yet. Hope you enjoy.

A cowardly craven.

A gutless recreant.

A lily-livered, spineless chicken wimp.

Words spoke deeply to Chloe and this time they gave her a thrashing. She was a wuss, a baby, a…a milksop, and yet it changed nothing. She'd fled - ran - and as much as it pained Chloe to admit, faced with the same circumstances, she'd do it all over again.

She found that realization extremely unhelpful and while the morning didn't bring any new waves of wisdom, its arrival did bolster her resolve to stop running. She had more questions than answers, but nothing would change while she hid upstairs.

Chloe showered, dressed, and tried not to think about what she was going to say to Clark. She instead concentrated on more mundane curiosities. Part of her was astounded morning arrived so quickly. One moment she was torn between reliving the bliss of Clark's touch and the agony of having to make a decision, and the next moment, the midmorning sun blazed in her eyes.

She donned jeans and a simple, yet feminine violet tank top and as a not so unconscious stalling tactic, took pains to style her hair and apply her make up. She studied her reflection.

She passed inspection. No reason left to wait.

At the end of the hallway, Chloe braced herself and descended the kitchen stairs while surreptitiously seeking Clark. Even with her head mixed up, she had to face him.

Now her heart, it knew just what it wanted and teamed up with her internal thesaurus to call her every kind of fool, but her heart hadn't always been her best guide and her head wasn't sure which path led to heartbreak and which led to her deepest desire. Chloe wondered if they might be one in the same.

She greeted the crowd and her, "Good morning," was met with a return chorus from the elder and junior sets of Kents. She didn't see Clark. Lois finished pouring a fresh cup of coffee and without asking, filled a second mug and handed it to Chloe. Chloe sipped automatically and as always, the hit of caffeine went a long way toward clearing the cobwebs. "Thanks, I needed that."

Kent raised his eyebrows, "I can't believe you can drink that sludge."

Chloe shrugged, "Tastes fine to me."

Lois smirked at her husband, "And why wouldn't it? After all, I made it."

"Yes," he replied shaking his head, "that's why the rest of us stuck to orange juice." Their easy teasing coaxed out Chloe's smile. Martha, who was sitting next to Jonathan at the breakfast nook, caught Chloe's eye and smiled along with her.

"So dear," began Mrs. Kent in between sipping her juice, "did you have any trouble getting back to sleep last night?" The smile hovering on Chloe's lips faltered and she dropped her eyes to the floor, but answered truthfully enough.

"Surprisingly no." Chloe forced a smile back in place. "I completely conked out soon after my head hit the pillow." Martha tilted her head a fraction and gave her a funny look, but said nothing.

"Was I the only one who stayed in bed last night?" Jonathan asked, folding his newspaper and setting it aside.

Martha patted his arm consolingly, "You've never been much of a night owl."

"I suppose not. That's the farm life for you. I noticed young Clark is quite the early bird too. He was heading out the door just as I came downstairs."

Chloe set her coffee mug down harder than she intended. A few drops sloshed onto the counter. "He's gone? Where did he go? Did he say anything?"

"Just that he'd be gone for a while and not to worry." Jonathan paused while reaching for a blueberry muffin perched on a pile in the middle of the table. "You don't think he's in some kind of trouble?"

She shrugged but shook her head, "I don't know, probably not." She sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some air." Chloe headed for the front door. Those left in the kitchen looked around at each other.

"Did I say something wrong?" Jonathan asked.

"No, no, dear, though I think our Miss Sullivan is sorry to have missed young Clark."

"There's more to it than just disappointment, Martha. She's very upset about something," Lois insisted.

"How can you tell?"

Lois pointed to the counter. "She forgot her coffee." A beat later, she pushed away from the counter she was leaning on. "I should go talk to her." Her husband shook his head and pushed up his glasses.

"No. I'll go. I think I have an idea of what might be going on." Clark picked up the forgotten mug and followed. He found her sitting on the front steps, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, already mindlessly staring at the passing traffic.

"You left your coffee behind." She glanced up, startled. He wasn't certain whether over her mental lapse or by his sudden intrusion. He handed her the mug and sat down alongside.

"Thank you," she murmured keeping her eyes averted. Kent accepted her thanks with a nod and settled back to watch the traffic as well. He let several minutes flow past, waiting to see her shoulders relax again, before breaking the silence.

"I haven't had the chance to thank you for all your help here and everything you did for Lois back in your world. She's talked about you a great deal."

Chloe's brow furrowed, "Don't thank me; it was my curiosity that triggered this whole mess in the first place."

"I don't think it's as simple as that, but no matter what, I am grateful for the friendship you freely offered, for bringing her home, and for all your help in locating her here."

He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I don't know if I would have found her in time without you." Chloe doubted his glasses truly bothered him, but didn't comment on his emotional fidget. He studied his glasses before putting them back on.

"This past week was hard." He lowered his head, as if the weight of his memories might overwhelm him and let his linked hands hang loosely between his knees. "I'm not used to being powerless in any circumstance and this was my life."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Chloe vividly remembered her own feelings of helplessness during the past week.

He nodded, accepting her understanding before continuing. "I've never felt time move more slowly. It was the longest week of my life," he raised his head and waited to catch her eye, "because Lois is my life. I don't know what I'd do without her. I had moments last week when I thought I might go insane. Only two things saved me."

Chloe placed her hand gently on his forearm, trying to ease the torment his memories were stirring. "What were they?"

"First, my love for Lois. We've been in impossible situations before and sometimes all I've had to rely on is the miracle of our love."

Chloe blinked back tears, affected by his frank admission. "And the second thing," she prompted huskily, "what was the other thing that brought you comfort?"

Clark cocked his head looked at her appraisingly, "You."

Shocked, Chloe snatched her hand back. "What? How could I? You couldn't. You didn't even know me."

"Maybe not, but I didn't have to. Clark has infinite faith in you." Chloe bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"Lois vanished before my eyes and immediately he told me you'd bring her home. He was absolutely certain and I clung to his belief." A far away look clouded his eyes. "We ran out of solutions and Clark made sure I knew you wouldn't give up. He made sure I knew you. He told me of your strength and resolve, ingenuity and determination, your deep compassion," a smile touched his lips, "and your eternal pursuit of the answers."

He laid a compassionate hand on her forearm, mirroring her earlier gesture. "I realize that the love I share with Lois has power, sometimes the power to make miracles happen." He was silent for a moment. "I recognize the same strength in the love Clark shares with you."

The tears brimming in her hazel eyes shimmered and fell. She hastily wiped her cheeks. "It's not like that with us, we're just friends," she insisted.

"Is that the way you want it to be?" He asked gently.

"No! I mean, I don't know. I wish I could believe…"she trailed off unhappily.

"Something happened last night didn't it. Did you have a fight?"

"No, not at all."

"What happened?"

"It's complicated," she told him.

"Love usually is."

"He kissed me," she said in wonder and a tinge of disbelief, raising her hand unconsciously to her lips. Her fingertips ghosted along the edges, reliving the moment.

Kent sighed and leapt to a conclusion, "And the next morning, he ran." Lois had filled him in on Chloe and Clarks friendship, though he hadn't needed their whole story to see how much Chloe cared for Clark.

"Actually, I'm the one who ran away first."

"What?" His head popped up in surprise and disbelief. "But you are obviously in love with him. From what Lois told me, you have been for years. Why would you do that?"

Chloe's cheeks burned in embarrassment and she wanted to let her gaze slid to the floor. She stiffened her spine instead. "Talk to me after you've fallen for your best friend and have no choice but watch while he fawns for years over someone else," she retorted, feeling defensive.

"Try me," he invited, irony dripping of his tongue.

"Let me guess, Lana Lang?"

"Who? Lana?" He scoffed, sounding amused. "No, Lana Lang was strictly high school infatuation."

"Lois?" She asked incredulously. Chloe found it hard to believe. Apart from Jonathan and Martha Kent (either set), she'd never met a couple as in sync or so obviously right for each other.

"I can't say what I felt for her initially, though my parents claim they knew Lois was the one the first time I said her name. Perry stuck us together on an assignment and Lois wasn't completely thrilled working with a rookie, but we made a good team, a great team. We became partners and close friends. I knew I wanted to spend my life with her."

"But Lois…"

"But Lois only had eyes for Superman and then later she started dating Lex Luthor."

"What did you do?" She asked leaning toward him.

"Lex eventually asked her to marry him and I confessed my feelings for her."

"And?"

"She didn't return my feelings…as Clark."

"What does that mean?"

"That night, I saw her as Superman and…she confessed her feelings to him saying that even if he was just an ordinary man living an ordinary life, she would love him just the same."

"Ouch."

"Yeah," he fiddled with how his glasses sat behind his ear, "not my favorite memory. Eventually Luthor was exposed so Lois didn't marry him and I told her I only said I loved her to try and stop her from marrying Lex."

"The friend's card, I'm familiar with that one, but how…never mind."

"No, go ahead and ask."

"I shouldn't, I really shouldn't", She bit her lip, but couldn't hold back her curiosity. "Obviously you're very happy together and none of that stuff matters anymore, but how could you…how did you know…I mean she knows who you are now, all about you, so do you ever doubt, oh, forget it."

"No, its ok, I know what your getting at. I turned down Lois when she told me as Superman that she loved me because it wasn't real, it couldn't be. Superman isn't real. He's just a fantasy, a larger than life projection. He really isn't really who I am, just something I can do."

"Of course."

"Lois and I were friends, best friends, and there came a point when she started seeing me, Clark Kent, as more than just a friend. She told me later that started right around the time she realized Superman was just a fantasy."

"How did you know though?" Chloe twisted her hands in her lap. "How did you know she wasn't going to change her mind and start chasing after the fantasy again?"

"I didn't. My feelings for Lois weren't going to go away so I had to decide if what we could have together was worth risking what we already had as friends and partners." He stood, brushed off the seat of his pants, and headed back inside. As he opened the door, he paused and looked at her over his shoulder, "I'm guessing you're going to have to make the same decision."

When Kent went back inside, a wave of restlessness hit. Chloe wished she could go somewhere, do something, anything but face the truth. While she was willing to risk or even lose her life for Clark, Chloe feared she'd already run out of the kind of courage it took to blindly leap for his love.

It was too far to fall.

She'd lost her heart to Clark while he was a gangly, uncoordinated youth with a sweet smile and curious mind. Through the years, he'd grown in stature and responsibility, becoming more amazing before her eyes and lodging himself deeper in her affections. And almost all along the way, Clark just saw her as a friend.

So, she'd pulled back her emotions, hiding them away, even from herself some of the time. When she'd stumbled onto his secret, the love she'd squashed and denied transformed. Her romantic longings didn't go away; they just seemed insignificant in scope. She never stopped loving Clark, but by compartmentalizing that love, she was able to be the friend he needed. It went both ways.

He was the friend she needed too.

She relied on Clark to be there, not for his heroic nature, but to listen and laugh and call her on her mistakes when she needed it. Every tragedy cut less severely and every bright moment shone more brilliantly when Clark stood at her side. Her relationship with Clark went deeper than any that came before.

Her mother was catatonic, her father gone, and her friendship with Lana more one sided than she liked to admit and she couldn't even entirely blame Lana for that.

For one, Chloe found other people's problems much simpler to handle than her own and Lana made it easy for Chloe not to talk about her problems. Lana simply wasn't that interested. Beyond that, Clark would always stand between them. Chloe tried to maintain their friendship, but Lana probably knew that push come to shove, she was Clark's friend first.

She did have Lois. She loved her cousin, would do almost anything for her, but for Clark, Chloe had no limitations.

Which was one of the problems.

Up until now, Clark hadn't wanted or at least hadn't been ready to trade their friendship for something bigger and so Chloe kept her heart in check. It had caused so many problems when her emotions threatened to spill past friendship. Safer, she thought, to file away feelings that could cause irreparable harm to their friendship.

However, during last night's kiss, she couldn't dream that something that splendid could bring pain. If Clark hadn't paused and pulled back for that brief moment, Chloe wasn't sure what might have happened. Maybe something wonderful, but the unknown was terrifying.

She was scared, not only of getting her emotions bruised, but of losing Clark altogether. Once she let her feelings free, there was no putting them back in the box.

If Clark changed his mind or was confused over what he was feeling…she wouldn't survive.

Physically, bodily, she'd still walk around, still go about her life, but at her core she would be changed, a part of her soul lost. She would have to leave him behind or face being torn apart until she couldn't function on any level.

Chloe had no limit on what she would do for Clark. The only way to save their relationship may be to deny her chance at finally becoming the women of his dreams.

Clark stayed away far longer than he planned. He left shortly after dawn and let emotions rule his feet and they carried him to the end of the South American continent and back. He lost track of time somewhere south of Ecuador.

He ran mindlessly, trying to escape a gnawing fear. He didn't stop until an amazing vista of the Andes Mountains overwhelmed his senses. Drinking in the abrupt contrasts of the jagged rocks, delicate clouds in the blue sky, and the bold color of the green glacial waters, Clark wished Chloe were there to share the view and the moment.

Wherever he went, whatever he did, he wanted to share it with Chloe. It was there, somewhere in Peru, fifteen thousand feet above sea level, where he stopped running from what he wanted and started planning how to get it.

He missed the afternoon meeting at Star Labs, missed dinner, missed dusk fading into twilight and was chagrined to find it far into the wee hours of the morning when he cruised back into Metropolis. He didn't regret the time he'd taken to know his heart and mind, but now that his thoughts were clear, he didn't want to wait to talk to Chloe. As he approached the darkened brownstone though, it looked like he wasn't going to have much of a choice but to save that conversation for tomorrow.

He had just crossed the threshold when his normal hearing picked up a whispery sound. He listened harder and identified the noise—the deep breathing of someone sleeping—not any someone, Chloe, and she was close.

Clark found her curled up on the couch, still dressed, and clutching one of his pillows. Like an irresistible force, she drew him to her side.

She'd waited up for him.

Clark knelt in front of her slumbering form as he felt a crooked smile tug at the corner of his mouth. Well, she had tried to wait up for him.

Her hair fell across her face. Clark brushed the silky strands back, letting his fingertips skim over her petal soft skin. He let his hand linger on her cheek, lightly stroking the side of her face. She took a deep breath and like a kitten, turned her face into his touch.

Smiling, her eyelids fluttered open and by the moonlight filtering in through the window pain, she saw Clark leaning over her. Her smile deepened and with a sleepy sigh, she said his name, "Clark."

"Hey," he whispered back. His pleasure turned to regret a moment later when she stiffened and pulled back from his touch. Scooting up until she was sitting, she put physical and emotional distance between them.

Disappointed, but not surprised, Clark uncoiled from his crouched position and switched on a light before joining her on the couch. "We should talk," he announced unceremoniously.

"You missed the meeting at Star Labs," she countered.

Clark ran a hand though his hair and sighed. That was not what he wanted to talk about and he strongly suspected Chloe knew it too. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I understand. I can fill you in. You should know…"

"No," he jumped up, slashing his hands through the air. "Don't tell me."

She squinted her eyes and tilted her head, puzzled, "You don't want to know?"

"Yes, I want to know, but not now. I don't want to waste time on small talk."

Perturbed, Chloe rose to her feet, "The Star Lab meeting wasn't meaningless small talk. Our future rests in their hands."

"No, it doesn't," he insisted.

Chloe ground her teeth, "I told you, I'm not using the tagging device and leaving without you. It's not an option."

"And I told you I couldn't let you go," he said, deflating her anger. "That's not what I meant." He took her hands in his. "I'm saying our future depends on us, you and me, not on which universe we are in currently."

Hope, longing, and pragmatism raced over her expressive face and jockeyed for control. Practicality won out. She pulled her hands free and backed away. "As much as I would like to believe that, I can't."

"Why not?" Clark demanded.

"Because…I just can't." Chloe squared her shoulders. "I won't be something you've settled for: not here, not at home, not anywhere else. I can't go from best friend to consolation prize."

"Is this about Lana?" Clark shook his head, "Lana is not the one I've been trying to get back home to, you're the one."

Once again, conflicting feelings openly warred across her mobile features before she firmly quashed whatever softer emotions threatened to win. She took another couple steps back, shaking her head in disbelief. "Look, you shouldn't rush into saying things when you can't be sure what you feel. How do you know this isn't just a complex case of home sickness?"

Clark scowled. Chloe shrugged, trying to affect indifference to his frustration and moved forward with her cold logic. "I'm the only connection you have to home, to places and people you love. I understand that, but I won't be a substitute or someone for which you settle," she repeated.

"Are you done?" He asked, his voice sounding clipped and irritated.

"No," She turned and walked a few paces farther away, the placid façade and uncaring attitude she tried to maintain rapidly slipping away. Her hands started trembling at her sides. She clenched her fists. "I've worked hard to be in a place where I could be the friend you need, one who could be honestly supportive of what or whom it takes for you to be happy."

"Are you saying we would be better off just staying friends?"

"I'm saying anything else is a big risk." She stopped and pressed her palms against the sides of her heated face and then briefly over her mouth, trying to still the tremor in her chin. "Clark, I need you in my life," she confessed, her words edging past the break in her voice, "you're not thinking straight and if you and I didn't work out that way, I don't know if I'd be strong enough to go back to being just a friend, even a best friend and it would kill me to lose you."

"Are you done?" He asked more gently this time.

From across the room, she nodded feeling a knife slice repeatedly through her heart as she pushed away her dreams for the final time. It hurt, a physical ache too big for tears and inside, her shredded heart was screaming for mercy, but she was resolute.

She couldn't give in. Clark was confused; he must be, why else would he have stayed away all day. Chances were this offer would never come again, but it was better this way, it had to be. If she gave in now while he was uncertain and he changed his mind or worse, pretended he wanted to be with her out of guilt, it would destroy her and she didn't know if this time she would be able to recover.

"The answer is no."

"What?" She asked turning back around in confusion. She didn't remember a question. Clark took a step toward her.

"No," he spoke calmly, but firmly. "I'm not confused, I'm not interested in being just friends," he shook his head, "won't pretend anymore." His eyes raked over her form from head to toe, taking in her mussed hair, her flushed cheeks, the shadowy place exposed by the v-neck of her tank top, the soft denim clinging snugly to her rear, and the pale lavender polish on her bare toes. She felt exposed.

He took another step. His gaze was feral. "No. You're not a substitute for anyone." He kept walking slowly her way, each step a deliberate message that he was coming for her.

"Your fire, your dedication, your strength, your unlimited capacity for caring," the corner of his mouth tilted up, "your sarcastic tongue." He closed the gap between them.

"There's no one else like you." He ran his hands up her forearms, past her elbows and held the soft skin of her upper arms. He could feel her tense muscles flex and strain, not trying to flee, but not knowing how to be still. "I'm not settling." Emotion deepened his tone. "I've finally found the courage to say what I've been feeling for a very long time." Chloe watched his eyes; she could see the truth of what he was saying written in his eyes.

"Chloe, you are my best friend, but so much more than that. Always so much more," he whispered. "You are a part of who I am and part of who I'm going to be."

"Clark, I…"

"Shh, no, it's my turn." She bit her lower lip and waited for him to continue. Clark felt his heart began to pound. She was so close to walking away; he had to make her believe. "There was a time that I couldn't look past our friendship. I was blind to many things, blind to what you meant to me, blind to even the kind of man I am and what my place should be in the world.

That's changed. I see who I am now and slipping into this universe has shown me who I could be, but only with you at my side."

A skeptical flash lit her gold green eyes and had him swallowing hard. He cupped the side of her face; he needed to make certain she was listening to him, paying attention. "I need you; have needed you for so long, long before I'd have ever admitted it. You make me feel whole and this isn't some crazy kind of homesickness talking."

He took a deep breath and dived in all the way, "I love you Chloe Anne Sullivan. Not just love you, but I am irreversibly in love with you."

She gasped and knocked aside the hand holding her face. She shook her head vehemently, "No, you don't really mean that," and tried to turn away from Clark. This time he wouldn't let her go. He caught her hands in his and pressed them against his chest, holding them to his heart.

"I do mean it. Chloe, you know me better than anyone ever has, look at me, you'll know that I mean it." She refused to look at him and instead twisted her head away as far as possible, keeping her eyes tightly shut.

"Please Chloe, please look at me," he begged. He felt her slipping away. "I know I've made mistakes in the past. I wasted time, far too much time, chasing something that wasn't real and that makes you doubt what I'm saying, but I need you to believe me. I love you and that won't change in any universe."

Chloe's battered heart raged against her sound restraints, desperate to be free. Tension encased her body, reflecting her internal conflict.

"Clark, I…I want to believe you," she said, still refusing to open her eyes, "but, what about today? Why did you leave?"

"Why did you run last night? Don't deny you felt something real."

She stayed silent.

An eternal minute ticked past.

Chloe stood stiffly, not giving an inch, but he didn't release her. His panic continued to build until he was afraid that maybe she could deny feeling anything at all and then suddenly, the rigidity in her muscles slid away. Her hair spilled forward as she lowered her forehead until it rested against their clasped hands.

When she spoke, he only heard her due to his enhanced hearing. He felt the whisper of her breath at the same time as she delivered her simple confession. "I was afraid. Still am."

"Yeah, me too," he whispered back, "but I'm not about to walk away or let you walk away from the best thing that could happen to either one of us because of fear. I learned a lot about fear this week."

Clark kept one hand entwined with hers and freed his other arm to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. She leaned into him and found a new headrest against his shoulder.

He held her just a fraction tighter and continued. "I was scared to death I'd never see you again, never be able to tell you what you mean to me, and never get a chance to hold you again, to hear you voice, or be on the receiving end of one of your mega watt smiles." He smiled into her hair.

"Then, like a miracle, you were here. Still, the thought that maybe I'd waited too long and you stopped caring for me was terrifying. Now I have an even bigger fear."

Chloe lifted her head and arched her neck, finally daring to look up at him: her eyes open, her heart wide, and searching the windows to his soul for truth. She was ready to hear him. "What is it?" She asked.

"That no matter what I say, you won't believe me." He met her searching gaze unflinchingly. "That's what I spent the day trying to figure out, not how I feel about you, but how to make you to trust me one more time."

Chloe wet her lips, "What did you decide?"

"That I can't make you trust me," he told her earnestly. "Even with all of my abilities, I can't force you to believe me. I don't even have a perfect sentence or magical phrase. I can only tell you I love you - that's not going to change - and hope you decide we are worth the gamble."

Clark raised his hand and skimmed his fingers over her cheek, unable to resist touching her more intimately. "I know I'm asking you to take what seems like a huge risk, make a leap of faith, but I promise; I won't let you fall. I'll be there to catch you."

"Clark, I…," Chloe faltered with what she was going to say. She couldn't deny what she read in Clark's eyes. He wasn't confused. She didn't need to save him from himself. Chloe clutched the front of his shirt tightly in her fists as a deep understanding washed over her.

She didn't need to save him from himself, but she was the only one who could save him from the fall. Chloe had feared she'd already run out of the kind of courage it took to blindly leap for his love, but this wasn't only about her. Clark had already taken his leap and while his hide may have been virtually invulnerable, Chloe knew his heart was as fragile as hers.

Chloe had no limit on what she would do for Clark. She'd loved him since he was a gangly youth with a sweet smile and a curious mind. The only way to save their relationship was to embrace her chance of becoming the women of his dreams. On her own she may have lacked the courage to risk her heart again but Clark at her side made her stronger, braver, and more certain than ever that he was worth any risk.

She slid her hands up over his chest and twined them around his neck, her smile blossomed and her heart shone in her eyes, "Ok," she whispered leaning in for a kiss, "I'll jump."

Author's note: Feedback is essential to survival. Please review. (Here's a bribe, I promise to pick up right where this chapter ends off.) Next chapter, the mystery of Lois's dreams are revealed.