Disclaimer: I does not own Avuhtar the Last Urrbender.
Chapter 36: Forgiveness is a Four Letter Word
Zuko watched with curious eyes as Hakoda and his children huddled together on the opposite side of the fire. Every night since their arrival at the Western Air Temple, the group, minus Zuko and Katara, would gather around a fire and eat their dinners and converse about random and obscure topics. Now that Hakoda and Suki had joined their group, the nights were spent in the same way but Zuko now felt a twinge of jealousy every time he gazed at the happy family.
He could never remember a time where he was that happy with his own family. With his father's constant desire for power and Azula's persistent need to out-do him, Zuko believed that the only time he looked even close to that happy with a family member as Katara did with her father right now was when his mother was still around. And that was still incredibly hazy.
"And remember that time where you tried to scare Gran Gran with that octopus?" Sokka chortled.
Hakoda laughed along with his son and nodded as he replied, "I only wore the octopus, but Bato did the spooky voice."
There was a moment of reminiscable silence within the hanging courtyard, but the warmth emulating from the Water Tribe family caused Zuko to feel the twist of jealousy in his stomach once more. His eyes flickered over to his recovered lover, who was beaming up towards her father as his arm pulled her closer to the nook of his shoulder and chest. Katara's smile was bright and content as her father pecked the crown of her head.
Nope. Zuko was never that happy with his father.
With a sigh, the firebender stood and retreated from the scene without a farewell. He heard the murmurs among the group as he silently walked towards the west wing of the temple. Luckily, the hazy moonlight lit the way through the corridors because Zuko just didn't feel like creating his own flame. A morose feeling engulfed him as he strode through the halls, threatening to swallow him whole if he didn't find something to cheer him up.
Katara was still mad at him, judging by the look on her face when he returned from the Boiling Rock with Hakoda and Suki in tow. Not to mention the incurable envy he felt when he witnessed the loving gestures made from her father. It was odd to him, wishing he had what she had. At one point in his life, he was the Prince of the Fire Nation, heir to the Dragon Throne. Yes, his father preferred his prodigal sister over him and his mother had mysteriously vanished at some point in time. But shouldn't he be content with what he had? He was in love with a beautiful waterbender, helping the Avatar restore peace to the world and he had a group of friends surrounding him that made him feel like he truly had a family who loved him.
But why was it when he looked at Hakoda, he felt the sting of bitter rage once more?
"Prince Zuko?"
Speak of the devil.
Zuko turned and saw Hakoda leaning against a pillar, arms crossed over his chest and a calculating look on his face. Zuko realized he had wondered to an open courtyard with three Air Nomad nun statues towering over him from the rocks of the cliff.
"Chief Hakoda," he replied with a bow of his head. "Shouldn't you be back at camp? I'm sure Sokka and Katara would hate to lose any time they have with you."
As Zuko turned away from the older man and looked out towards the mist hanging in the valley, he realized his last statement must have come out with a hostile edge, because he heard Hakoda take a wary step forward towards him.
"Well when you left so abruptly, the rest of the kids got worried. Someone insisted that you be talked to. I volunteered. So here I am."
Without turning towards the Chief, Zuko muttered, "Why?"
"Because I can see something is troubling you."
"Lots of things are troubling me, Chief Hakoda. You wouldn't understand."
Zuko heard Hakoda take another step forward and stand almost right behind him. It frightened Zuko slightly, for a reason he could only explain as post-traumatic related flashback.
"Zuko, I have two children," Hakoda started, "both of which I love dearly. When something is troubling either of them, I can tell. Call it 'father's intuition'. I can sense something is bothering you and I would like to know what it is."
The firebender could feel himself trembling. Not in anger, but in suppressed sadness. Not once in his entire life, that he could recollect, had his own father shown this amount of concern and curiosity for Zuko's wellbeing. It troubled him even further.
Hakoda must have noticed Zuko's slight trembling because he placed a steadying hand on the young Prince's shoulders. "I understand how you may be feeling, with the war and all of its costs. Especially to yourself. But remember-"
"That's not it," Zuko managed to reply in a voice, hoarsened by unshed tears and a thick throat.
"Then what is it? Tell me, son."
That did it. The tears began falling freely down Zuko's face. He felt extremely lucky that he was facing away from Hakoda when it happened because the weakness he was showing at that moment was uncharacteristic. He hastily wiped the tears away and sniffed lightly before he felt Hakoda take another step forward and turn him around.
Zuko's face was still looking at the ground when Hakoda spoke again, "There's no need to be proud right now, Zuko. If you tell me what has been bothering you, perhaps I could help out."
Zuko shook his head quickly before he answered in a diplomatic fashion, "I don't think it's something you could help me with, Hakoda. It's just another thing added to my inner struggle. Nothing you should worry yourself with."
"Well I think I should be the judge of that. I want to know what is wrong."
Slowly, Zuko raised his eyes to lock with Hakoda's. He knew they were glossy from tears and harsh from the downtrodden feeling he was enduring. But as he looked into Hakoda's face, he saw the reassurance and softness he often saw when Iroh would comfort him. With a sigh, Zuko looked away.
"First things first," Zuko started in a low whisper, "things don't seem as they appear."
Hakoda quirked his eyebrow, but Zuko continued, "Do you remember before the invasion, you asked me not to hurt Katara?" He saw Hakoda nod out of the corner of his eye. Zuko dropped his head. "Well, I did. The thing is, I have strong feelings for your daughter, and I know she feels them for me, too. But we decided that because of the war, we wouldn't pursue any type of a relationship. After we fled Caldera, she and I had an argument because I said we would never work out as a couple."
"And why would you say that?" Hakoda's voice was calm, surprising Zuko heavily.
The Prince took a deep breath and answered, "Because of our people. I would never assume you would let your daughter be courted by the Fire Prince, or maybe the Fire Lord someday. And my people may not accept a waterbender as their Fire Lady and-"
"Wait," Hakoda held up his hand and Zuko turned his head back to the Chief. "Fire Lady?"
"Hakoda, I love your daughter-"
"So why is there a problem?" The elder scolded as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If you truly love her, you would do whatever it takes to make her happy. Zuko, I like you. You just helped me break out of prison, for La's sake. And by the way Katara looks at you, angry or not, I can tell she adores you as much as you do her. I just think she needs time and she'll come around." A wistful smile spread across Hakoda's face and he added, "She's just like Kya was. And I see more of my late wife in her every time I look in my daughter's eyes."
Zuko frowned and looked away, not feeling resolved in his inner conflict. Hakoda couldn't know of the green-eyed envy he felt when he saw their happy family. What would the warrior think?
"But that can't be all that is troubling you, is it?"
Busted.
Zuko felt his eyes prickle again as he responded, "I'm not sure I really want to divulge this to you, sir."
Hakoda placed his hand on Zuko's shoulder once more as he replied, "Zuko, I'm offering to be a confidant for you and just someone to talk to. I'm trying to help so whatever it is-"
"I'm jealous, okay?" Zuko snapped, causing Hakoda to flinch back. Judging by the stunned and flabbergasted look on his face, Zuko decided to continue, "I'm jealous of what Katara and Sokka have with you. I'm jealous that my father never looked at me with love in his eyes or that he gave me this-"he pointed to his scar, "-just because I spoke out of turn. Because I wasn't the perfect son he always wanted. I'm jealous because I know that never for the rest of my life will my father love me the way you love your children."
Hakoda just stood and stared at Zuko as hot tears fell down the unblemished side of his face. The firebender felt ashamed of his outburst. The look on Hakoda's face was unreadable so Zuko felt he had done something wrong or he offended the man. He was about to walk away when he felt Hakoda pull on his shoulder and into his arms for a warm hug. He didn't know what to feel at first, so Zuko just kept his arms at his side as Hakoda squeezed him a little tighter before letting him go entirely. When he looked back up into the Chieftain's eyes, he didn't see disgust or disappointment. Instead, he saw sympathy and quiet understanding.
"Zuko, just because you want what Katara has doesn't mean you should be angry about it," Hakoda started. "There are plenty of people who love you dearly and would be devastated if anything happened to you. In fact, Ozai should be the one pining for your love because he doesn't deserve it. You're too good of a son for him. You're three times the man he will ever be and have more honor and respect in your heart than he could even imagine. Remember that."
A thankful smile grew on Zuko's face before he nodded once more and wiped the tears away. "Thank you, Chief Hakoda."
The older man held up his hand to silence him and smiled reassuringly once more. "Don't worry about it. I see the dynamics around here. You're like the father and Katara is like the mother and all of your little gang are your kids. But even sometimes the dad needs paternal advice."
With a wink and a pat on Zuko's shoulder, Hakoda turned and walked away from Zuko, waving slightly before disappearing in the shadows. Zuko sighed as he looked back out towards the canyon and lifted his hand in front of him. He exhaled and the fire that came out was orange and red, not the blue he had slightly mastered. Disappointment ran through him as he extinguished the flame and turned on his heel to head back to camp. Suddenly, he was feeling extremely tired.
Katara uneasily watched the corridor where Zuko and her father had disappeared into a few minutes ago, waiting for both of them to return. She had noticed Zuko's expression before he left as he stared with what she could only now pinpoint as envy. Immediately she knew he was jealous of what she had with Hakoda and Sokka. By just looking into his eyes, she could see he wanted to be a part of a loving family, something he probably never had.
"You know, Zuko's been awfully moody lately. Has anyone else noticed?" Aang finally said after a few moments of silence. There were murmurs and nods of agreement among the others, while Katara just glared at the airbender. She was about to open her mouth to defend Zuko, but Toph beat her to the punch.
"He wouldn't be so moody if Sweetness hadn't been such a bitch to him."
Katara's eyes widened as her throat constricted and her heart picked up. "EXCUSE ME?!"
"You heard me," Toph retorted with a glare, her inner 'little sister' coming out. "He's been trying so hard to have you forgive him for one slip up and all you're doing is ignoring him and giving him dirty looks. It's not fair and you know it. You should apologize to him for your behavior and thank him for being such a big help! It's because of him that your dad is back!"
Katara just glared before standing up and storming away from the group, tears building in her eyes. She couldn't argue with Toph because she knew it was true. She was punishing Zuko for far too long and it had to stop, but she couldn't bring herself around to do it. Deep down, she knew she couldn't fully forgive him unless he took back what he had said after the invasion and say he would be with her. For some reason, Zuko being stubborn was what was holding him back from being truly hers.
Somehow, Katara found herself in front of Zuko's door. For a moment, she just stood there and stared at the wooden door, mulling over her options. She could pass it and go into her room, then wait to speak with Zuko until the morning. Or she could go in and wait for him so they could speak, and possibly make up that night.
With a steeling sigh, Katara turned the handle and stepped in.
Ever since he got back from the Boiling Rock, Zuko had been staying in a different room than Katara. He thought it was because her dad was there, but once he actually got into his room he could his things had been there for a while. That's when he realized Katara had moved his things there before he got back because she was still angry with him.
He opened the door and, to his surprise, saw Katara sitting on his bed, her face illuminated by the full moonlight. If it was up to Zuko, he would have taken the few steps toward her and embraced her passionately. But instead, his feet were frozen to the ground as he stared at her.
"I wanted to thank you for what you did," she finally said. Zuko just stared, waiting for a biting insult or something. He didn't think she was there to just thank him. He could tell by her face not two days ago that she was still mad. She locked eyes with him and added, "It was very brave of you to risk yourself to save Suki and my dad. And I appreciate it a lot."
He waited once more. When she didn't speak again, he decided to finally answer, "It was nothing really. It was actually Sokka's idea. I just was tricked into coming."
"I heard. Toph said you had cactus juice."
Zuko smirked and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before replying, "I have to say, for a drink with such bad side effects, it tastes delicious."
Katara didn't laugh, she just stared at him. And Zuko just stared right back. He hated the tension between them. He hated how she didn't come straight into his arms and hug him fiercely. He wanted this to stop. He was about to open his mouth when he heard a shout coming from another part of the temple.
"KATARA! SMELLERBEE IS SICK!"
The two benders stared at each other with wide eyes before taking action. Katara and Zuko ran out of his room and rounded the corner of the hall that led to Smellerbee's room, where The Duke and Haru were standing.
"She's running a fever and she hasn't woken up!" the small soldier cried. Katara pushed passed the two boys and went into the room. Her hand went straight to the girl's forehead and she hissed as she pulled it away. She drew water out of her pouch and brought it to Smellerbee's head, but frowned quickly and pulled her hand away.
"It's bad, you guys," Katara said to The Duke, who was still crying into Haru's sleeve. "I'm going to need some specific supplies to be able heal her. And I have no way of telling what this is or how to heal her without proper herbs."
Haru just nodded to her and steered The Duke out of the room, leaving Katara and Zuko alone with the sick Freedom Fighter.
"Smellerbee?" Katara whispered. The girl opened her eyes and weakly rose them to meet Katara's. "Would you happen to know how you got sick?"
She nodded in response and hoarsely whispered, "There's no point anymore."
"What do you mean?"
Her eyes closed again and she sighed out, "He's gone. Soon, they'll all be gone. There's no hope."
Katara turned and locked eyes with Zuko, whose lips were pressed in a thin line and his arms were crossed tightly over his chest. He shook his head once and turned to leave the room when Katara brought her gaze back to Smellerbee, pushing the girl's hair out of her eyes and speaking softly to her. He didn't have to be in the room to hear her say, "There's always hope."
He made his way down the hall and back to the courtyard with the fire, where Sokka and Hakoda were speaking lowly to each other, both cupping their chins with one hand and cradling their elbows with the other. He approached them silently and caught the tail end of their conversation.
"… I'm not sure, Sokka. But we are going to have too. Especially with the large group."
"What's going on?"
The Water Tribesmen turned to Zuko and both stared at him momentarily before Hakoda cleared his throat and stated, "Because Miss Smellerbee is sick and in need of medical attention, someone will need to go to the closest village and get her the proper medical supplies or attention for the young girl."
"Well Katara was saying she needed to go to the nearest village to get the proper herbs for a healing draught of sorts," Zuko supplied. "Do you think someone should go with her?"
Hakoda nodded, "We already suspected of you wanting to go with her. You two can take Appa. But while you both do that, we might have to go relocate to another place."
"Why?"
"Because we've been here too long," Sokka answered as he uncrossed his arms and put his hands on his hips. "It's almost obvious that we would be here. Azula will find us soon if we stay much longer. So I was suggesting that once Smellerbee has the proper herbs for healing, you, me , Toph, Suki, Katara, and Aang go somewhere safe and hideout until the comet arrives."
Zuko just stared at the warriors before sighing and stating, "Alright, I get that. But what about the rest of you guys? We can't just leave you here with Haru, The Duke, and Smellerbee, Hakoda. You all need to go somewhere safe, as well."
"I understand where you're coming from," Hakoda replied, furrowing his brow and crossing his arms tighter against his chest. "Perhaps I can take the children to the Earth Kingdom and find some place that they can be harbored."
"Why don't you take the airship to Makapu Village," Sokka said with enthusiasm. The other men stared at him incredulously before he added, "Aunt Wu would be happy to house friends of the Phoenix."
Zuko groaned and buried his face in his hands while Hakoda stared at his son like he had grown a second head and four more eyes. Sokka just beamed at the brilliance of his idea and went to add more, but Zuko cleared his throat and lifted his head.
"Well, I'm going to tell Katara the plan. You two figure out the kinks."
Katara was in her room, haphazardly stuffing her things into her bag. Without folding her Fire Nation disguise, she stuffed it on top of her spare leggings and one of the waterbending scrolls Pakku gave her. Her eyes glazed over her room, checking to see if she left anything. If she was going to be leaving to get herbs to help heal Smellerbee, she would need as much of her stuff she could grab. Who knows how long the trip would be.
Her eyes went to her mother's necklace, which she had taken off before she and Aang had waterbending practice. She had gone straight to making dinner and then lounging by the fire with her family so she never had the chance to put it back on.
"Oh good, you're already packing."
She turned to the familiar voice and saw Zuko standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame and his arms folded over his chest. His eyes were on the necklace in her hands, but he didn't make a mention of it.
"Yeah, if I have to go get herbs to help heal Smellerbee, so I need to be prepared. Especially if I'm going alone."
She noticed him take a step in and put his hands in his pockets before awkwardly shuffling on his feet. He bit his lip and sighed before saying, "Well actually, you aren't going alone."
Katara stood abruptly and faced him, necklace clutched in her hand. "What? Why not?"
"Katara, you can't go wondering out in Fire Nation territory by yourself," Zuko replied, bringing his hands up in a calming gesture. "We're going to go get some herbs to heal Smellerbee, and when we come back we all have to split up."
"We?" she drawled out, clicking her tongue at the end and narrowing her eyes at the firebender in front of her. He shook his head and was about to speak but she cut him off, "When you say 'we' are going to get some herbs, you mean..."
"You and me."
Katara just nodded and then sighed, "Alright so when we get back, then what?"
"You heal Smellerbee, then you and me plus Sokka, Suki, Toph, and Aang are going to go somewhere safe until the comet arrives."
"And what about my father?" she asked. Zuko looked off to the side. Katara took a step forward and asked again, "What about my dad?"
"He's going to go with Haru, The Duke, and Smellerbee. He's going to make sure they arrive safely in the Earth Kingdom. Sokka had the idea that they should go to Makapu village and stay with Aunt Wu. Because she would be happy to house friends of the Phoenix."
Katara heard the irritation in his voice as he looked away and had to stop herself from going to comfort him. She pinched her mouth to the side and crossed her arms over her chest, necklace dangling out of her fist. Zuko was just silent, his lips pursed together as he, decided not t state anymore on the matter for now. He took a deep breath and was about to speak, but she cut him off.
"So where are we going to go for the herbs?" she asked, seeing the tension in Zuko's shoulders begin to build as the silence wore on.
He visibly relaxed and took a hesitant step forward, hands back into his pockets and an apprehensive look on his face. "There's an island south of here that should have a large market place. There's an apothecary that should have all the herbs you need."
"And then what? We come back here just to split up again?"
"That's the plan."
Katara frowned deeply and she could see in Zuko's eyes the desire to speak again, the way his body shifted from side to side before he bit his lip and sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Look, whenever we split up and go somewhere until the comet comes, can we talk?
"There's nothing to talk about, Zuko."
She could see his face drop and his common mask of indifference replace his crestfallen features once more. She realized he would do that when he didn't want to show any weakness or vulnerability. Obviously he didn't want her to think less of him because of the dejectedness he was feeling with her dismissal once more. Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
Zuko stopped in the doorway and looked over his shoulder as he spoke lowly to her, "Katara, sooner or later we will need to talk about this. I'm not giving up on you."
And with that, he left the room and out of her sight. With a sigh, she tied her necklace around her neck and grabbed her pack. They would need to leave soon, especially since they were all fleeing the temple now.
Zuko stormed down the hall towards his room, almost tempted to slam the door once he got inside. But he didn't have the time. He needed to pack. They had to leave, and fast.
"You know, one thing you should learn about my sister is that she is unbelievably stubborn. I thought you would know that by now."
Zuko lifted his gaze and saw Sokka sitting on his bed, much like Katara had been earlier that evening. The firebender just huffed out some smoke and went to his bags, throwing in the loose items and pulling it shut before throwing it over his shoulder and grabbing his sheath.
"Zuko, a word of advice-"
"I don't want to hear it, Sokka," he snapped, whirling around to glare at the warrior. "Unless you can miraculously tell me how to convince your sister that I'm not a bad guy and that I truly love her without coming off as desperate, please let me know. Because every attempt I've had, she just blows it off like it's nothing. I nursed her back to health and broke her dad out of prison. What else would she want?!"
Sokka just looked at him for a moment before standing and striding over, grabbing the bag and sheath off of Zuko's shoulders and placing them on the ground. He motioned to the bed and both young men sat on the lumpy mattress, looking towards the window where a full moon shined down on them.
"I don't know if you knew about this, but I never got to tell Yue that I loved her."
Zuko turned his head towards Sokka, who was gazing longingly at the moon in the sky.
"After everything that happened, I never got to tell her how I truly felt. And then I lost her," he continued in a small voice. He took a deep breath and then brought his gaze back to the room. "It was the same thing with my mom. She was gone before I could tell her how much I loved her. And now I have Suki and I know that as soon as I feel something like that for her, I am going to let her know."
Zuko looked away and dropped his shoulders as he replied, "I know how you feel. For some reason, I feel like I didn't get to tell my mother that I loved her before she left. I have no idea what happened to her or where she is. She just... disappeared." He turned his head towards Sokka and added in a whisper, "What happened to yours?"
Sokka looked off to the side and sighed, "It's not a day I like to remember. Katara and I were playing in the snow when the entire tribe got quiet, it was so eerie. We both looked up to see the snow turning black as it fell, like it had in the North Pole. Many of the warriors had seen the black snow before and they knew what it meant: a Fire Nation raid. The firebenders came and quickly started their attack. We were badly outnumbered, but somehow, we managed to drive them off. As quickly as they came, they just left." He wrapped his arms around his chest and looked down to his lap as he continued, "I was so relieved when it was over, but that's because I didn't know yet what had happened. I didn't know we had lost our mother."
Zuko looked out the window towards the moon once more, his eyes focusing on the perfect sphere in the sky. The glow lit up his entire room in such an eeire way, like Yue was letting them know that she was in the room with them. Zuko just sighed once more before standing up and grabbing his things. He looked down to Sokka and patted his shoulder, "C'mon. We need to get going."
The goodbyes were quick. Katara hugged her father, tears in her eyes as she nuzzled against his chest. Zuko was off shaking hands with Sokka, getting hugs from Toph, Aang and the Duke and exchanging a farewell with Suki. With a sniff, Katara turned away from her father and climbed up into Appa's saddle, not looking back. She felt a little foolish, considering that it was a short trip. It wasn't permanent.
She saw Zuko approach Hakoda and they gripped forearms in the traditional Southern Water Tribe fashion, which was a curious thing for Katara. They smiled at each other and Hakoda patted Zuko on the back before the Prince said, "I'll take care of her, Chief Hakoda."
"Thank you, Prince Zuko. And please, for the last time it's just Hakoda."
Zuko smiled slightly before replying, "Then I'm just Zuko."
They nodded at each other before breaking apart. Zuko climbed up onto Appa's head and snapped the reins once, causing the bison to jump into the air and into the misty canyon, his passengers waving goodbye to their friends in the courtyard of the abandoned temple. Katara readjusted her Fire Nation disguise as she rested her head on Zuko's pack. She told herself the only reason she used his bag was because it was softer, and she was determined to believe it.
There was silence for a good majority of the trip. Every once in a while, Zuko thought he heard a rustle of paper or her clothing from the saddle, but he ignored the urge to go speak to her. He knew that right now she just wanted to focus and prepare for what she was about to do. Zuko guessed they were just now approaching the island Zuko had spoken of when Katara spoke up for the first time.
"Zuko, are we stopping at this island down there?"
Zuko looked over Appa's head and spotted the island she had spoken of, one of which that was almost entirely concealed by a large storm cloud. He nodded and steered the bison down through the clouds, which Katara bent out of the way so they wouldn't get wet. Zuko was quietly grateful and smiled to himself as Appa approached the forest on the outskirts of the village.
They quietly landed in the forest and steered Appa towards a cave, where he reluctantly entered and laid at the entrance.
"Sorry, buddy," Zuko murmured as he rubbed Appa's nose. "But we'll be back soon. It looks like it's about to rain, so stay under cover, okay?"
The bison groaned in response and rested his chin on his front paws then slowly closed his eyes. Zuko supposed he had the right idea. Any rest is good rest, as Uncle would say. He turned to see Katara staring blankly at him, unreadable and quiet. With a nod, she turned on her heel and marched towards the village on the edge of the forest.
"Katara-"
"Zuko, did you ever wonder what happened to your mother?"
Zuko clamped his mouth shut and shrugged. He thought about her all the time. Wondering where she was, if she was still alive, if she would want to see him after all the horrible things he had done and how ugly he was now. With a dejected sigh, he answered, "Every day. When this war is over, I'm going to find out what happened to her."
Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko could see Katara smile faintly and pull her cloak over her shoulders a little tighter. She nudged him in the arm with her shoulder and said, "Well, if you ever find out where she is, I'd love to help you find her."
Zuko felt a face splitting grin spread across his face at her answer. He nudged her back and stated, "Thanks, Katara."
They both continued walking in silence towards the village, the distance between their bodies closer than before. Zuko smiled to himself as he thought that he was finally breaking down those walls she had built up in just a short time. Small progress was still progress, regardless.
The forest thinned and the two benders found themselves in the midst of a listless market. Zuko felt a couple rain drops fall on his face and he pulled up the hood on his cloak, seeing Katara do the same as the rain continued to fall. He led her to a small building to their left, where the worn-out sign saying 'Apothecary' swayed in the growing winds. The stepped through the door to see an old man sitting at the counter, weaving a string in between his fingers with a daft look on his face.
A bell rang as they stepped through the door and the old man's cloudy eyes snapped to them and he smiled a toothy grin as he called to them, "What can I help you two with today?"
Zuko stepped forward, Katara closely behind, and he said, "We have a friend that is sick. We just need some herbs to help her."
The old man nodded and turned to Katara, still smiling widely at them. "You look like you're the healer of the group. What are her symptoms? I should be able to find everything you need in here."
Katara nodded and began telling the old man the ailments troubling the Freedom Fighter back at the temple. Zuko stepped away and headed towards the windows, just to make sure they hadn't been followed. Katara was distinguishable in her beauty, and Zuko was a familiar face to some of the people of the Fire Nation. Though he wasn't wearing a top knot or a crown, his intense golden eyes and aristocratic features would make him stick out as much of a sore thumb this far from Caldera as much as Katara would. And both of them together raised enough flags as it was. He couldn't be too careful.
His ear pricked up when he heard Katara and the old man speaking again.
"Alright that should do it."
"Thank you, sir. How much for all of this?"
The old man chuckled and the sound of a rusting bag echoed throughout the room and Zuko turned to see the old man patting Katara on her hand and smiling warmly at her. His cloudy eyes flickered to Zuko before going back to her.
"For you, no charge. Any friend of the Prince of the Fire Nation is a friend of mine."
Zuko froze and saw Katara's mouth gape open before she sputtered out, "How... how'd... How did you know?"
He patted her hand once more and winked at her before pushing the bag towards her and sitting back on his stool behind the counter. "I may be almost blind, but the air around the Phoenix and his waterbending girlfriend is very distinguishable. You are friends here." He turned his gaze to Zuko and pointed at him. "You treat this one right, young man. If she is to be Fire Lady when this war is over, she better have your respect among everyone else's."
Zuko bristled and cleared his throat before striding over to the counter and taking the bag from Katara, seeing her cheeks redden out of the corner of his eye. "Thank you, sir. For all of your help. And I intend on doing that, I promise."
"Good boy," he barked. "Agni knows we need a Fire Lord that has some honor for once."
Katara and Zuko nodded at the man before bowing to him and leaving the store, only to be drenched by the rainfall. They sprinted out of the village and towards the forest. The trees were far apart at the boarders of the village, so the two benders were continuously getting soaked as they ran back to the cave. Katara's hood had fell off at some point in time and Zuko could tell she was too focused on getting back to the cave to even bother with bending the water away from either of them.
The trees got closer together and the cave was in the distance when a booming crack of thunder echoed overhead. He saw Katara jump, but she continued to run up the hill and into the cave. Zuko followed the sopping wet Katara inside, eyes narrowed as she kept her back to him and stopped. The tension between them was thick and, for Zuko, unbearable. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, touch her, love her. He just wanted her to want the same.
Katara turned to face him fully, her shoulders squared to him and her crystal blue eyes red and swollen with her tears. Her breathing was ragged and coming out in huffs and small hiccups as she stared at him.
"Why are you doing this?"
Zuko tilted his head slightly and replied, "Doing what?"
"Helping me," she answered, extending her arms to the sides and looking around the damp cave. "Helping all of us with these things. Why?"
Zuko's shoulders slumped and he looked to the ground as he whispered, "Because I care."
"No you don't."
His head snapped up to see the indifference in Katara's eyes as she glared at him. Before he could hold back, he practically shouted, "You don't think I care?! If I didn't care, I wouldn't have bent over backwards to make sure you were okay after you got hurt. I wouldn't have gone to the Boiling Rock with your brother to save his girlfriend and your father if I didn't care. Don't you DARE question my intentions, Katara."
Her blue eyes were livid once he finished ranting and her voice was dangerously low when she replied, "You just did all of that so I would forgive you."
Zuko scoffed and couldn't help but grin and laugh, "Are you really that self-centered? I did it because I wanted to. Not because I wanted your forgiveness or for you to want to be with me the way I want to be with you. It's because I care enough about you to want your happiness and well-being."
It was Katara's turn to scoff as she replied in something close to a scratchy whisper, something close to yelling with a lost voice. "I know that's what you want! You want to just be fuck buddies until the war is over and then drop me once we win and you become Fire Lord. It's like I don't even matter to you!"
Zuko's eyes widened in shock before narrowing as he growled like a tigerdillo, "How could you say that?! I'd risk my life for you a hundred times over if that meant you would be alright."
Katara shook her head and cried out, "Zuko, you can't expect me to just be okay with what you want. I care about you. I don't want to be just hook ups. I want to be your lover, your girlfriend, maybe even eventually your wife. Because that's how much I care about you. I love you, Zuko! Shouldn't that be enough?!"
Zuko felt his heart slow down and speed up at the same time, his stomach flipping in ecstatic anticipation as his eyes were locked on hers. That wonderful shade of blue so unique to her, so perfect in every way he could think of. Before he knew it, he strode to her, cupped her face in her hands and kissed her with all the passion he held for her. His lips slid against her in a slick slide as he pressed his body against hers. He poured every ounce of his love and desire for her into that kiss, holding onto her as if she were the anchor that kept him on the ground. Because that's really how it was. Without Katara, Zuko would float into the oblivion of emptiness, into a dark void of a half-life with no purpose. She was his purpose, his reason for living. If he didn't have her, he didn't want to live.
He pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against hers, still cupping her face. He finally felt her arms around him and her small panting breaths against his kiss swollen lips.
"Katara, I love you too. So much," he whispered. He began peppering kisses on her cheeks, forehead, nose, and the corners of her lips as he continued to whisper in between each kiss, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…"
He kissed the tears off her cheeks as they fell, snaking his arms around her waist now as he kept pressing his lips all over her.
"Zuko, you're just saying that," she murmured while shaking her head. He shook his as well before pressing his lips against hers once more and pulling her even closer, if that was even possible. When he pulled away, he opened his eyes and looked into hers.
"No, Katara," he muttered. "I did all of those things because I love you. Not because I just want to sleep with you. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you know that I love you. I love you so much, it just hurt me so much when you were mad at me. I hated myself for putting you through everything that I did, all the pain and suffering that you had to endure while being at my side. Sometimes I feel like it's not worth it, but when I look it your eyes…" He paused and his eyes darted back and forth between hers, taking in the depths of ocean blue swimming there. "I just know that it's worth being in love because the feeling is so perfect."
More tears fell from Katara's eyes before he continued.
"I want you to be with me until the end of time," he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers once more. "If my people don't accept you, I'll forfeit the throne. I don't want to lose you. Ever. You are the one thing keeping me in this world and helping me fulfill my destiny. You are the only woman I want to have in my arms until I die."
Katara was shaking her head again but he pressed his finger against her lips before she could speak and he whispered again, "You are my everything, Katara. I can't bear for you to be mad at me anymore."
Any words she was about to say were silenced with his kisses, desperate and urgent. His arms were strong around her back and waist as he cradled her closer to him, pressing his body against hers. She broke away and pressed her forehead to his shoulder as she panted for air, his hand petting the damp hair on her back and his lips pressing against her crown.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she whispered against his skin.
"You were mad at me," he replied just as softly. He smirked against her head and added, "Plus, actions speak louder than words."
There was silence for a moment on her end, making Zuko feel a sudden quake with fear. He felt the rising pain of rejection as the silence wore on. Before he could speak up again, he heard her murmur, "Then show me."
He pulled away from her and stared intently into her eyes, searching for reassurance and acknowledgement that he didn't hear her wrong. In those clear orbs, he saw the confidence and passion he was searching for. With a smile and a nod, he leaned in once more and pressed his lips against hers.
(enter lemon. AAAAAAAND go.)
After the storm cleared for the time being, the two benders headed back to the Western Air Temple. The flight back was quicker, probably because Appa was rejuvenated and wanting to get back to Aang. Their arrival was swift and Katara leaped off of Appa's saddle without a word to anyone else and sprinted to Smellerbee's room, where the Freedom Fighter was still prone and her breathing shallow.
For the next few hours, Katara was manipulating the herbs with her bending water and healing the sick girl.
Zuko and Sokka spoke in private about where they were to go next. They had considered an abandoned island near the Black Cliffs, but Zuko ruled that out because the Fire Nation would have all abandoned islands patrolled after the invasion attempt during the eclipse. The Prince was cradling his chin when he smirked and patted Sokka on the shoulder.
"I have the perfect place."
Katara left Smellerbee's room with a grin on her face. She was finally finished with healing the girl. She would need much rest and hydration, but other than that she was healed and far away from death's doorstep. She waltzed down the hall to the main courtyard, where she saw Zuko, Hakoda, Haru, Aang and Sokka sitting by the fire, all laughing hysterically.
She walked over and smiled at them. "What's so funny guys?"
Hakoda wiped his eyes and patted Zuko, who was on his left, on the shoulder. "Zuko was just telling us a tea joke."
Sokka was guffawing to Hakoda's right and rolling on his side. "Leaf me alone! That's golden!"
Katara rolled her eyes and sat on Zuko's left, smiling at him as she sat. "Well, Smellerbee is healed-"
"And we found a place to hide out!" Sokka interrupted. "Zuko knows of a place!"
Katara quirked her eyebrow and looked at the firebender, who was nodding at looking at her apprehensively. He rubbed the back of his neck and added, "Well, yeah. And I was wondering if you would like to go explore the place before everyone else comes down."
Katara just looked at him with her raised brow and slowly smiled before nodding. He grinned and they both turned to Hakoda, who was stroking his beard in thought. Sokka wordlessly patted his father on the shoulder and whispered in his ear before the Chief sighed and waved his hand dismissively.
"Alright, fine. You two go and check out the place. But it's only going to be you six so I will have to say goodbye to my daughter now."
The waterbender in question felt her face fall as she stared at her father, who was smiling sadly at her. They both stood and embraced in a tight hug, tears brimming in her eyes once more as she pulled away from her father.
"Bye, dad," she sniffed. "We won't be apart too long this time. I promise."
A/N This chapter was revised on December 20, 2013.