A/A: No matter how hard you try, your weird, antisocial, Celtic music addicted friends will never understand the beauty of Davey Havoc's voice.

Disclaimer: No matter how hard I try, I can't spell "Kentaro Yabuki" with "Moggetchan". Sigh.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Two Shorts Dealing With Fruits and One Completely Different

Short Number One: The Pomegranate

Early one morning, Train woke up. Then he looked at the clock and realized that it was actually late in the afternoon.

In any event, Train woke up, and there was no one else in the hotel room. Stretching, he walked into the kitchen, which was where he spotted it.

This odd red...thing...sitting on the counter.

Carefully, he pulled out his cell phone and called Sven.

"What?" asked a rather impatient Sven.

"Sven," Train said, "There's this red thing sitting on the kitchen counter."

"Yes, Train, that would be a pomegranate."

"A what?"

"A pomegranate."

"What do you do with it?"

Sven couldn't believe that this was happening.

"...you eat it, Train."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, later."

With a shrug, Train picked up the pomegranate and bit into it.

Sven's phone rang again. Looking at the caller ID screen, he cursed.

"What is it this time, Train?" he asked.

"Sven...it tastes terrible."

"Did you cut it open?"

"You're supposed to cut it open?"

"...Yes, Train, you are. You cut it open and eat the little red seeds, which are called arils."

"Ohhh. Later."

Taking out a knife, Train cut into the fruit, and was a little bit grossed out by the bloody looking juice that came out. Carefully, his bit into one of the tiny arils.

"Sven!!"

"WHAT, TRAIN!"

"It's still really gross!"

"..."

"Hey, where are you, anyway?" asked the oblivious Train.

"The spa."

"Whoa."

"Good-bye, Train."

Short Number Two: The Kiwi

"Hey, Sven?" Train asked one day, going through the groceries that Sven brought home one day.

"Yes, Train?"

"What are these weird, hairy, brown things?"

"Those are kiwis, Train," Eve answered happy for the opportunity to show off in front of Sven. "Don't you know anything?"

"Kiwis are birds in New Zealand," Train answered, "Don't you know anything?"

"Um, Train, these are fruits called kiwis," Sven told him, breaking his heart.

"B..but...they're BIRDS, Sven! BIRDS!!"

"Yes, Train, they're birds."

"But you just said that they're fruit!"

"..."

"They're, both, Train," Eve told him.

"Oooohhhhh. Like I'm Train, and then there's the train you ride!"

"..."

"So you eat these things?"

"Yes, Train, you eat them."

So Train bit into one of them, and spat it back out. "That's disgusting! People actually eat them?!"

"Well, they normally peel them first, or cut them in half and spoon the flesh out," Eve offered.

"Oh, I get it." Train took out a knife and cut the kiwi in half. "WHOA! SVEN! It's the same color as your hair!"

"Thank-you, Train."

"Hey, this is pretty good!" said Train, completely ignoring him, as usual.

Short Number Three: The Reappearance of the Debt Collector

"SHE'S GAINING ON US!!" Train shouted, keeping his eye on the mad ladies car as they drove quickly down the road.

The faint shout of "NO! STOP GOING SO FAST! I JUST WANT TO TALK!!" could be heard coming from the window of the car behind them.

"Just ignore her!" Train said, "It's all just a ploy to get us to pay her."

"I'M NOT EVEN A DEBT COLLECTOR!!" was shouted "I'M FROM YOUR INSUARNCE AGENCY!"

Sven braked the car abruptly.

"No! Sven," cried Train, "She could be lying!"

"I'm not," the woman said, jumping out of her car and running up to them before they could drive away.

"Wow, you run fast!" Train said, slightly awed.

"I've already lost twenty pounds chasing you crazy people."

"Well you look good!"

"Aw, thanks! Anyway. As your insurance representative, it is my job too inform you that you, Train Heartnet, are causing to much trouble everywhere you go, so it's my job to follow you around to collect claims."

"STEP ON IT SVEN!" Train shouted, and Sven complied, leaving the insurance lady in the dust.

"NOOOO!" she cried, "Not them, too!!"

Hearing a loud noise behind her, she turned to see a woman almost identical to her zip by, shouting maniacally, "I WILL GET THEM THIS TIME! ALL THEIR MONEY AND THEIR FIRST BORN SONS ARE MINE!"

"Wow."

A/N: Bleh. Sorry it's been so long. I just haven't done anything in two weeks, and it's been rather nice. I was actually going to go bite into a pomegranate husk, just to see what it's like, but I don't feel like getting up. As for the last short, the insurance lady is a spoof off of Merrill, for those of you have read Trigun. So how was everyone's Christmas - or Hanukkah? Good, I hope. I got the new this CD called Until There's Nothing Left of Us by this really awesome band I've just discovered called Kill Hannah, and any fan of alternative rock should definitely go listen to them. They're AWESOME!!

Dancing Penguins for Reviewers

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: I haven't really listened to that CD - it's my friends - but I like MCR. Did you know that Gerard has a comic book coming out this year? Oh, and I couldn't get to your DA account!! T.T

ttoad: No, doesn't seem like to good an idea, does it?

Cryptic Angel: Omigosh, thank you. I hope that requim gets a break from her Uber business. Relaxation is very important!!

Serenity Maxwell: Yes, that is a good idea, but first...I MUST PLAY DDR!! No, much to my chagrin, I've never had the opportunity, and must experience it before I actually write about it. After all, you write about what you know! .

totto-chan: Aww, thanks. I hope you read the other chapters! I have yet to play Zelda, even though we have it.

mahoakitti: Yes, apparently Zelda is very addicting. I can't wait for you to post things on DA!

TA TA FOR NOW, MY DEAR READERS!!